By Steve Roy
The podcast currently has 166 episodes available.
I've been largely absent from social media and this podcast for the last few months and there's a reason. My oldest daughter has been having some health issues for almost two years now and things seem to be getting worse instead of better. What started out as a herniated disc in her back and the surgery to repair it has now turned into something much more.
And because of the physical and mental pain she's in and having to watch her helplessly, I've started to crack. I've withdrawn from my business and most social things and struggle day to day to keep positive. I've always taught the members of our community that if we can't take care of ourselves first, how can we take care of our families the best way possibe and I'm failing at this.
I've let my diet go to sh*t. I've let my exercise go to sh*t. I've become lazy and weak.
And it's taking it's toll on me. I feel lousy all the time and worse yet, I'm not being as strong as I should be for my daughter when she needs me most. So I made the decision to do something I really don't want to do and that's taking on the 75 Hard Challenge. It's named that way for a reason and it's designed to be a mental toughness challenge, not just a weight loss challenge.
It's the push that I need given where I'm at and I'm committing to seeing it through. I've also opened it up to members of the Fit Dad Nation and to those who need a serious change as well. If that's you, join us. Learn more at fitdadnation.com/75hard and we start January 2.
A few weeks ago I decided that enough was enough. I was tired of feeling like sh*t all the time and it was a direct result of my crappy eating and general laziness.
It was a long time coming and it was my time for change. Of course there were many reasons (excuses) why I was avoiding doing the things I knew would make me healthier and I was letting my excuses win.
So I decided to commit to 5 small tasks every day in an effort to change it all.
There things are:
1. Train daily, even if for 15 minutes.
2. Switched out soda for diet soda.
3. Eat a healthy breakfast at the very least.
4. Walk for 30 minutes a day.
5. Remind myself each morning "why" I'm doing all of this.
My point in sharing all of this is that it helps you in some small way. Maybe you're struggling to get moving or feel overwhelmed by all the things you need to do in order to get your fitness back on track.
I'll say just focus on a few small changes, instead of worrrying about ALL the things that you ideally want to change.
Change wil happen but you have to start somewhere.
I love the gym. I love the feeling I get when I walk into the gym. I love lifting heavy sh*t. I love putting myself out there and pushing my limits.
But many guys don't love those things. In fact, I've met many men over the years who hate the gym and gym life. They hate "having" to lift weights in order to get fit.
And what I tell them is "don't".
If you feel like you have to do something in order to get fit, you'll likely start finding excuses to get out of doing it. It's human nature.
Instead, I suggest finding a sport or activity that is healthy and helps you get fitter and use that instead of trying to force yourself into the gym.
Personally, I think strength training is at the top of the food chain when it comes to getting fit and healthy for men over 40, but not every man is willing to do it. I can't make you do it, so why try?
If you're happy riding your bike up and down the street for two hours, by all means do that. If you like playing pickleball like I do, do that instead.
Would it be beneficial to start a strength and conditioning program? Absolutely! But if you're not actually going to stick to it because you hate it, it will never work.
Find something that excites you. Find something that makes you want to improve. There are a million and one ways to get fit and healthy from OCR's, to trail runs, to rucking up mountains, to kayaking, to playing ping pong. Do something you don't think you "have" to and instead find something you "get" to do.
We all have stressful lives in some capacity. Whether it's financial, work related, a lousy marriage, or health issues, it's tough.
And those stresses take their toll on us, either quickly or slowly. Some of us respond well in the face of these obstacles while others let their problems suck them down into a black hole.
Now I'm not a therapist nor can I help you learn how to thrive in the face of adversity. But I can share with you what I've learned about myself, having lived through (and still living with) a sh*tload of personal stress.
One thing I've learned is that I cope by shutting down and internalizing my struggles. I stop exercising. I eat more junk food. I waste time. I avoid the real issues and hide behind a fake smile.
And this is not a good thing. It's not particularly healthy for me and my family. But it's what I know and what I'm trying to get better at.
My point in sharing this is that although I know I'm not responding well to my stress, I never get down on myself. I never consider quitting. I never look at myself as a failure. I know in my heart that I can and will do better.
I know that it only takes one (very hard) decision to put my feelings aside and get the f*ck back to work.
And I do. I've done it many times in the past and even though right now I'm not in the best mental and physical state, it's something I plan to change very soon.
I'm just not ready for it.
And you might not be either and that's OK. As long as you don't throw your hands in the air and quit, you'll be just fine.
Keep these things in mind if and when you're struggling, because it WILL happen time and time again.
Just keep pressing onward and remember that you have it in you to crush whatever it is you want most.
Most guys try to fit their current lifestyle, which is always super packed with things to do, into their newfound diet plan.
This is a mistake and usually ends up in frustration and failure.
Most dads live a tremendously busy life and trying to find the time to shop, prep, cook, and eat foods on a very specific diet is hard. Like, really hard.
Sure a diet can work for you but it has to have three things to be successful long-term.
1. It has to be healthy. Cookie diets, liquid diets, or fasting diets can be very low in calories and nutritional value, which isn't the right way to lose weight.
2. It has to get results. You might be on the world's most popular diet but if you don't see physical results, it's not the diet for you.
3. It has to be sustainable. This is where the vast majority of diets fall short. They are either too strict, too complicated, or too hard to stick to and you quit.
Instead of trying to find the "perfect" diet for you, I suggest focusing on a few of the following principles I use with my own diet and for my clients.
Eat more foods with one ingredient. A potato is a potato. A chicken breast is a chicken breast. A Pop-Tart is a sugar filled piece of sh*t with 27 ingredients.
Don't starve yourself in the name of weight loss. Eating MORE and burning the difference off is a far better option.
Eat in a way that doesn't add more stress to your life. Simple is better.
Eat foods you know are healthy and avoid ones that you know are hurting your progress.
Eat more foods that give you energy.
Recognize that weight loss isn't a sprint. Fill your diet with high quality foods and your body will reward you. It's as simple as that.
Use the 80/20 rule. Eat high quality foods at least 80% of the time consistently and then you can afford to eat the things you really crave the other 20%.
Apply to out free private Facebook group for dads at FitDadNation.com/Community
Before you write me off as another "get fit quick" scam artist based on the title of this episode, hear me out.
On 9/1 we're starting one of our most successful challenges called Project 45. It's 45 days of no cheats, no excuses, and no bullsh*t.
Is 45 days enough time to radically overhaul your life and undo all the damage you've done to yourself with eating crap foods and sitting on your butt over the last 30 years? No, of course not.
But that's not the goal of this challenge.
The goal of this challenge is to help you get insanely consistent with a small handful of fundamentals and become accountable to yourself and to the men doing the challenge along with you.
If you stick with this, you will lose fat. You will get stronger. You will drop inches. You will feel so much better. You will create new habits that can last a whole lot longer than 45 days.
Will it be easy? Nope. Will you get results putting in just a little work? Nope. Will it require you to live, breathe, and sleep fitness? Nope again.
All you need to do is follow the program as it's designed, show up every day and do the work, and refuse to quit when you feel like it's just too hard.
I'd love for you to take on this challenge with us and if you're a struggling dad looking to reclaim your mojo, take a look. The challenge details can be found at FitDadNation.com/Project45
So today I'm not going to tell you how to get and stay fit but rather exactly what to do if you want to stay fat forever.
Obviously, I'm not condoning you do any or all of these things, but I'm asking you to look at your current lifestyle and see exactly how many of these you are doing right now.
And once you realize that you're doing the wrong things and sabotaging your results, you can get to work on changing them!
Here they are:
Join the tribe where we get one day better. FitDadNation.com/Inner Circle
I'm a realist. Yes, I coach dads for a living and have to motivate and inspire them to take action, but at the end of the day, I'm still a realist.
Specifically, I fully understand that giving a busy father a full on training program and customized diet makes sense on paper, but falls a bit short in reality.
Meaning, regardless of how solid a program is, you still have to actually follow it for it to be effective. And since I'm not coaching 22 year olds who have all the time in the world to dedicate to their fitness, I have to account for the fact that the vast majority of dads barely have time for their family obligations let alone trying to follow a rigid program.
Does this mean that programs are a waste of time for you? Of course not. But I recognize that there are so many things that are going to come up in your already busy life that adding something as daunting as a full fitness program makes little sense if he's expected to follow it to the letter.
Today I share the story of a client of mine who fits this description. A busy dad with two small kids, a business to run, and never enough time to get it all done.
Hopefully today's show resonates with you and you can approach your fitness from a slightly different perspective because of it.
Today I talk about two things that come up a lot for me as a fitness coach.
The first is when people view exercise as a punishment. I get it, many people don't enjoy throwing around heavy weights and getting all sweaty and nasty. Others can't stand being in a gym with all the meatheads.
I've had quite a few clients over the years tell me how much they dreaded going to the gym to train and guess what? I didn't make them.
Instead I found alternate ways to get them involved in exercise. Getting into shape doesn't have to revolve around heavy barbell squats and presses. It can be about moving more than you do now and challenging yourself in a way you aren't used to.
For those of you who dislike or even hate training, I'll tell you to find some form of exercise that you can tolerate or preferably, enjoy.
After all, we are creates of comfort. We gravitate towards things we like and gravitate away from things we don't. It's human nature. So instead of fighting with yourself every time you "have" to exercise, find something you like and "get" to do.
In terms of using food as a reward, I think it's a bad idea. I've seen far too many clients/people over the years use the junk foods they gave up in order to get healthy as a reward for eating well.
It makes no sense.
The goal of any diet or approach to eating should be to find something sustainable long-term. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it's healthy, works for you, fits into your lifestyle, and you can stick with it.
Don't reward yourself for losing 15 pounds with eating a box of Pop-Tarts and feel like you "earned" it. If you eat healthy foods 80% of the time or more, you can eat those things without worrying about it.
As fathers, we'd gladly lay down our lives for our children. That's a given. But the bigger question is whether we're living for them right now.
And to that point, are we doing the things right now that allow us to be truly and fully present for them? The answer is a resounding "no".
There are many reasons we're falling short, from excuses, lack of motivation, and putting ourselves last. And I've said this many times before and it's as true now as it ever was and that's "if you aren't even taking care of yourself, how can you take care of your family the best way possible?"
In today's show, I share some of the reasons we aren't living for our kids in a way that serves them the best and why. This is an important topic and our families deserve the best possible husbands and fathers.
Please understand that I'm not judging anyone. I'm not calling anyone a deadbeat. I'm speaking from personal experience when I say we can do better. We can be better.
Putting ourselves first isn't selfish. In my opinion, we can't be the best possible fathers if we aren't.
The podcast currently has 166 episodes available.