Ever notice how your best ideas show up right after something goes completely wrong? Same.

As someone who’s wildly competitive, losing has never sat well with me. Take this recent tech pitch competition. I was sure I’d win. When I didn’t, I was pissed. But somewhere between the stage and the drive home, the ideas started flowing. New directions. Better strategy. The kind of insight that only shows up after you’ve been knocked down a peg.

Here’s what I’ve learned: rejection creates the exact mental space where innovation happens. When we win, we rarely stop to question our process. When we lose, we’re forced to reimagine everything. That discomfort? It’s the birthplace of creativity.

The first version of your idea is rarely the best one. True excellence comes from iteration—refining, pivoting, and shaping until it shines. Like a diamond, brilliance takes pressure.

So, what setback are you facing right now that might actually be the beginning of your next breakthrough?

Follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and X at @JenFryTalks, or connect on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

When you’re in the chair—whether as an Athletic Director, head coach, or top leader—everything starts and stops with you. Most books don’t prepare you for that reality. Leading means holding steady when the boat feels like it’s tipping and people are looking for direction.

In this episode of Five with Fry, I talk with Allison Kern, Associate VP and Director of Athletics at Cal State East Bay, about what leadership really demands. We talk about thriving in discomfort, making hard conversations part of everyday culture, and staying committed to your vision even when it feels unpopular. Allison also shares how solitude is part of the role and why trusting yourself matters.

We dig into how communication reflects your view of others, how to identify the compromises you can live with, and why the right fit matters more than taking every opportunity.

If you’re leading now or preparing for that role, this conversation offers an honest look at the weight of leadership and what it takes to create stability, clarity, and trust.

Have you ever noticed how often people say, “I’m sorry if I offended you” when they’re called out for something they said? In this episode of Five with Fry, I talk about why that phrase sounds like an apology but actually avoids accountability.

Adding the word if shifts the problem away from our words and onto someone else’s reaction. It suggests the issue isn’t what was said, but the fact that someone felt offended. That framing puts the responsibility on the listener instead of the speaker.

Real accountability looks different. It’s direct and specific: “I’m sorry for what I said.” Think of it as treating accountability like a yield sign—acknowledge it, own it, and move forward—rather than a stop sign where you get stuck in over-apologizing.

In this episode, I unpack how to recognize conditional apologies, why they undermine trust, and how to take ownership in ways that actually strengthen relationships.

Got a topic you’d like me to cover? Reach out and let me know. Be sure to subscribe wherever you get your podcasts, and connect with me on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter @JenFryTalks or on LinkedIn at Dr. Jen Fry.

Ever had that satisfying moment when you finally figure something out after hours of wanting to throw your computer across the room? That’s what this episode of Five with Fry is all about—the messy, frustrating, and ultimately rewarding process of persistence in a world that wants everything instantly.

I share a personal story about building a new website using what I call “vibe coding”(i.e., natural language tools that spit out code). At first, I created separate web pages with no clue how to actually connect them. Hours of research later, I was frustrated and ready to quit. But I didn’t. I kept pushing, kept asking myself, What other ways have I not looked at this? And then came the breakthrough: realizing I could build everything from one central page. That single shift made the whole thing click.

The real win wasn’t just the finished site. It was the growth that happened in the struggle, like learning new skills, seeing the problem differently, and feeling that unique glory when persistence pays off. Growth doesn’t happen in spite of frustration; it happens because of it.

So if you’re staring at a problem that feels impossible, don’t stop at the first sign of difficulty. Your next skill set, insight, or moment of confidence might be waiting just on the other side.

Come follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks, or connect with me on LinkedIn. Until next time, stay curious, stay bold, and keep the conversation going.

Kindness and niceness might sound similar, but they’re very different in how they shape our communication and leadership. Too often, leaders avoid hard conversations because they want to be “nice.” The problem is that what feels compassionate in the moment—sidestepping conflict, staying vague, or quietly reducing someone’s responsibilities—creates confusion and toxicity. People can tell when something is wrong, even if no one names it.

In this episode, I talk about why “niceness” can actually cause harm when it prevents clarity, feedback, or necessary decisions. Hoping someone will quit instead of addressing performance directly doesn’t protect them. It undermines trust. True kindness requires courage. That could mean giving feedback even when it’s uncomfortable, or handling terminations with honesty and dignity instead of leaving someone in limbo. Kindness values long-term well-being over temporary comfort.

I invite you to reflect on your own approach to communication. Are you prioritizing being liked, or are you willing to lean into discomfort for the sake of real kindness? That choice makes all the difference in how effective you are as a leader.

Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok @JenFryTalks, or connect with me on LinkedIn as Dr. Jen Fry. Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts.

The world of athlete representation is complicated, and the stakes are higher than ever. Whether you’re a high school athlete thinking about your future, a college player navigating NIL deals, or a pro looking at new opportunities, you need to know how to protect yourself before you ever sign with an agent.

That’s why I brought in Luke Fedlam, a non-agent sports attorney who calls himself a “protector of possibilities.” Luke is the partner and co-chair of the Entertainment, Sports, and Media Practice at Amundsen Davis and managing partner of Advance NIL. Translation: he’s seen it all when it comes to athlete empowerment, contracts, and the pitfalls that can wreck careers if you’re not careful.

In this episode, Luke breaks down the five essential things every athlete should know before signing with an agent. We dig into:

• How to identify the services you actually need instead of letting an agent tell you what you want
• The right way to do due diligence—everything from a basic Google search to deep background checks
• Why written contracts and favorable termination clauses aren’t optional
• The red flags of rushing into agreements
• And how to keep monitoring the relationship so you’re always in the driver’s seat

We also talk about the difference between professional player agents (who have oversight) and NIL agents (who often don’t), how to avoid paying multiple agents for the same deal, and why protecting your intellectual property is non-negotiable.

At the end of the day, you are the CEO of your brand. Luke’s insights will give you the tools to step into that role with clarity and confidence.

You can follow him on all platforms at @LukeFedlam for more on how to protect your possibilities.

College sports have entered a whole new era. With NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness) deals and the recent House settlement allowing schools to pay athletes up to $22.5 million, freshman athletes are walking onto campus with multimillion-dollar expectations on their shoulders. But what does it mean to be 18, adjusting to college life for the first time, while also carrying the weight of donors, corporate sponsors, and coaches whose jobs may hinge on your performance?

In this episode of Five with Fry, I dig into the hidden costs of this shift. Freshmen used to get a grace period—a chance to adapt to new classes, teammates, and independence. Now, that buffer is disappearing. The result? Rising mental health concerns as student-athletes navigate not only academics and athletics but also the pressure to “earn” their worth.

I’m asking the hard questions: How do we balance fair compensation with protecting young athletes’ well-being? What does progress look like when it comes at the expense of development? And how do we make sure the drive for profit doesn’t come at too steep a human cost?

Subscribe to Five with Fry wherever you get your podcasts, and join the conversation with me on social @JenFryTalks.

Ever think about the human cost of leadership development? Those first teams you lead are really the guinea pigs for your trial-and-error experiments in figuring out what kind of leader you’ll become. I know this firsthand. At 27, I jumped into my first head coaching role with big ideas—new offense, new defense, new culture, new handbook—without really knowing what I was doing. My players became part of my leadership lab while their scholarships and college experiences were on the line.

That’s the reality for every new leader: the shift from theory to practice is humbling. The people you’re leading don’t see your growth curve; they only know you as the one in charge. You quickly learn that leadership isn’t magic math where “two plus two equals a thousand.” It’s closer to throwing ingredients into a cauldron and hoping you find a combination that actually works.

This episode of Five with Fry is about recognizing those first teams—the ones who stuck with you through the experiments, mistakes, and growing pains. They shaped your leadership more than you realize, and they deserve your thanks.

Can truth hurt without harming? In this episode of Five with Fry, we dig into the difference between being direct and being rude and why so many people confuse the two. I break down an eye-opening video from Conflictish, a social media voice on healthy communication, and connect it to a powerful story from one of my workshops. In that workshop, a deaf participant shed light on the stark differences between deaf and hearing cultures when it comes to speaking the truth.

We’ll explore how culture shapes our comfort with directness, why blunt honesty isn’t automatically disrespectful, and how to tell whether our discomfort with feedback comes from the message itself or the way it’s delivered. You’ll hear why building a higher tolerance for honest, direct feedback is one of the best skills you can develop—whether you’re growing as a person, a leader, or an athlete.

This is about more than communication; it’s about clarity, growth, and learning to sit with a little discomfort so you can actually move forward.

We’ve been taught that “good” relationships are the ones without conflict, but I’m calling BS on that. In this episode of Five with Fry, I’m digging into the idea that conflict isn’t a sign of failure. It’s actually proof of depth.

Think about it: when you care enough to wrestle with discomfort, speak hard truths, and work through disagreement instead of walking away, that says something. Real relationships require tension. Avoiding conflict might keep things polite, but it also keeps them shallow.

I share why so many of us were conditioned to fear conflict and how that shows up—either by shutting down or going full steam ahead. Neither of those extremes helps us build the skills we need for real connection. But if you’re willing to stay in the room when things get tough? That’s where the growth lives.

Whether you tend to avoid conflict or meet it head-on, this episode will challenge the way you see it, and maybe the way you show up in your closest relationships. Let’s talk about the unspoken stuff. Let’s get honest. And let’s stop treating conflict like it’s the enemy.

Grab my new book, I Said No, for more on how to navigate the messy, meaningful moments in work and life. And hit me up @JenFryTalks. I want to know how this episode landed with you.