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Here’s today’s Top 5:

5. Trump's Tariff Con Game

Trump claims 50 countries are begging to negotiate tariffs while China remains his "enemy." B******t. This is pure tribute extraction – forcing countries and CEOs to pledge loyalty.

The real play? Countries dumping US dollars will boost China's currency while weakening the dollar. Trump's oligarch friends then swoop in to buy depressed assets in a massive wealth transfer. As markets tank, Howard Lutnick and pals get richer.

Democracy dies when economies collapse. Just ask any dictator.

4. Russian Oil Crashing – Silver Lining Alert

Trump's tariff chaos is hammering oil prices, with Russian crude nearing $50/barrel. The Kremlin needed $70 to fund their 2025 budget and war machine.

Kremlin spokesman Peskov now calls the situation "extremely turbulent" – quite different from their previous Trump cheerleading. When bad things happen to Putin, I get a little excited.

3. Loomergate: National Security Meltdown

Conspiracy theorist Laura Loomer walked into the Oval Office and got Trump to fire the NSA chief and his deputies just as they were preparing to counter China's massive "Salt Typhoon" cyber operation.

She previously amplified Russian disinfo and mysteriously arrived with detailed dossiers on officials. Connect the dots – it's not hard to see who benefits from America's cybersecurity being gutted.

2. China Playing Canada Like a Fiddle

Canadian intelligence has identified a Chinese disinformation campaign "supporting" Mark Carney – classic China strategy. They don't pick sides; they create chaos.

By backing Carney, they can simultaneously damage him with voters, position for Arctic access, and potentially drive a wedge between Canada and the US. China sees opportunity in chaos while democracies fight among themselves.

1. Trump's $94M Birthday Military Parade

The ultimate small-dick energy move: Trump is planning a $94 million military parade through DC on June 14th for his 79th birthday.

Stalin, Kim Jong-un, and Hitler all did the same – forcing troops to display fealty while cutting social programs. Nothing says "I'm definitely not a dictator" like making soldiers march for your birthday while the economy burns.

Despite mainstream media blackout, five million Americans protested in "Hands Off" demonstrations this weekend. Next major protest: April 19th. Keep showing up – there are hundreds of millions more of you than them.

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