Foodiction

When I started my health journey, I hit a wall. I had the desire to make changes, but still wasn't making them. I didn't understand why. I suspected that it must have something to do with my brain. It did! I was hitting up against old programs in my brain and expecting different results, so I decided to start studying neuroscience. I wanted to learn how the brain works. I wanted to learn how to take control of my brain, and in essence myself. Interestingly, during this time, I started praying for God to help me "garnish my thoughts with virtue."

I came across an expert who was not only a neuroscientist, but also conducted research that proved that Quantum Physics and Neuroscience go hand-in-hand. I rediscovered meditation. I've been praying about meditation and experimenting with it. Then I came across a scripture that instantly came into my mind as a confirmation of the positive outcome I've experienced through meditation. I share the "positive fruits" with you in this episode. I also share about the things I've been learning during this season of my own personal "learning curve." Since I am still learning, it is important to listen with that in mind. I don't claim to have all the answers and I may only have one piece. Other pieces may be forthcoming and change my understanding and perspective entirely. It's happened before.

The goal for me is to share in hopes that I can give a voice to others who are experiencing similar things as me, to support others in their growth and in their own journeys, to inspire others to strengthen their relationships with God and include Him in the journey, and to share what I am learning.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthyandbright

Going through Food Addiction Recovery has required me to not only put my emotions and thoughts on trial and work through them, but it has exposed the underbelly of the essence of who I am and who I belong to. In other words, I suddenly feel open and vulnerable...something I'm not used to.

Coming through the doors of trauma and experiences that were harmful or painful, I got very good at masking, isolating, and oversharing. Now that I am on the other side of trauma and pain, I am learning how to be vulnerable and why it's good to learn how to be. While it may not effect my food choices, it does help me in terms of connecting with others in healthy ways, which is really the opposite of addiction. In some ways it feels like entering through a back door in regards to my health journey, and yet it simultaneously feels necessary, relevant, and important.

So how does one learn how to be vulnerable if they have experienced any type of trauma? Doesn't that leave us open to getting hurt? I answer these questions and more in this episode.

If you have questions or would like to discuss this topic or others from previous episodes, I invite you to connect with me in the Healthy & Bright community on Facebook. https//www.facebook.com/groups/healthyandbright

Do you feel like you're just going through the motions, living out your life in a disingenuous way?

That's been me most of my life. When I started Bright Line Eating, doing a program that had rules, something wasn't clicking. I'd do it for awhile and than derail. I couldn't figure out what it was until this past week when I stumbled upon an interview and ordered a book I learned about through watching this interview on YouTube.

I share my takeaways, what I've learned so far, that is not only practical and applicable (my kinda style!), but it works! I'm only a few days in and have already noticed a difference in my attitude, my intentions, my ability to self-correct when I start reverting to my old ways, the mental chatter, and in my relationships. I feel like a sparkly, brand new version of myself...the "me" I've always wanted to be and knew I could be with God's help. I feel like God has been leading me through every step of my health journey and now, I'm on my way, living the life and becoming the person I know He intended all along. Because I know that my will is in alignment with His will for me, I have the confidence to move forward in my life and fulfill the measure of His creation that is "me."

There are many ways people can arrive to the same point I'm at, but what I share in this episode is what's working for me. I feel like I have a new lease on life and it feels amazing!

For more support in your health journey, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthyandbright .

Being the independent person I am, I went into food addiction recovery believing that I could avoid the monthly subscription to the official BLE community that supports the BLE (Bright Line Eating) plan. I figured that if I find and use my accountability partner and consistently show up in support groups on social media, that I would be fine. I'm not fine. I'm nearly a month off plan now. While I'm beginning to recognize old "scripts" I've been running off of - faulty, outdated beliefs I held about myself (i.e., lies), and how that's impacted me and my life in a negative way, I'm still hitting against the question of whether or not we can succeed without the support of the official BLE community.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthyandbright

Sometimes it's hard to break old, bad habits and you may find that more often than not, you end up resorting to them. I realized this about myself and in that moment I understand that I needed more tools to support me in reaching my goals. What I was doing, clearly wasn't working. Can you relate?

This past week, I had some great take-aways and I share what those take-aways were and the tools that I'm discovering and collecting in order to support myself in my health journey.

For more support, I invite you to join us in our group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healthyandbright

I wondered how it was possible for Passover and Easter to occur without celebrating it. Where did the time go? It wasn't until I put this episode together that I realized that an Easter miracle had transpired for me, during the time many were celebrating these two holidays.

At one point the lyrics to Chaka Kahn's "Through the Fire" came to mind but I heard them differently this time. When it gets to the chorus, I thought about how the lyrics described how I was feeling towards my Savior coming through my own "fire." I found it ironic how this fire felt like the "Refiner's fire." Nevertheless, these lyrics seemed to perfectly express how I felt about it...

"Through the fire,

To the limit, to the wall

For a chance to be with you I'd gladly risk it all

Through the fire

Through whatever come what may

For a chance at loving you

I'd take it all the way

Right down to the wire

Even through the fire"

This episode is probably the most raw, personal episode I've recorded and shared. It certainly is a record of the most profound healing I've ever experienced to date and the experience I share is nothing short of life-altering - a true benchmark - and an experience I will never forget! I'm not sure why Easter is a time I seem to experience incredible miracles, but it doesn't seem coincidental. Each miracle in my life that has happened around Easter time reminds me that our Savior lives on, that He loves us and is in the details of our lives, and that He is the reason we celebrate Easter and/or Passover.

Imagine what your spirit is like outside of your body? Then imagine going back into your body. How do you see yourself inside of your body? Did your mission on earth suddenly change? Do you identify yourself as your body?

This episode asks important questions that may help you see yourself differently, especially if you are a person who has identified yourself as your body (i.e., fat, ugly, etc.) It can help you with putting food addiction recovery into a healthy, proper perspective of something that is actually achievable. At the very least, you may grow a greater appreciation for the purposes that our bodies and spirits provide us.

To learn more about food addiction recovery visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthandbright

Binge-Eating Disorder - This week, I realized that I am not only dealing with a food addiction, but also a disorder. I discovered this the hard way.

Through the changes I've implemented in my life and in myself, my relationships are also changing. Those who cannot support me are falling away. Those who can, are emerging. Such is life and sometimes it's painful. I have been grieving over friendships that have shifted and fallen away. There is still and will always be love there; I've just learned to surrender to the natural ebb and flow of my relationships. We all are at different points of learning and sometimes we outgrow our relationships...sometimes permanently and sometimes not.

As a result, I resorted to old coping mechanisms and habits - very bad habits! Not only did I spiral through a dismal, hard, and painful week, I was so desperate to pull myself out of it that I did two things:

1) I learned everything I could about Binge-Eating Disorder and what I could do about it

2) I prayed. I told God how I was feeling and asked for what I needed

I share all about how I was able to transition from feeling utterly alone and unloved (loneliness), to peaceful, supported, and loved (solitude).

For more about Food Addiction Recovery, please visit: https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthyandbright

The journey through food addiction recovery has taken me through a series of steps, as if I'm walking through different corridors that lead to different "spaces" in life. I describe what this journey is like and the "spaces" I currently find myself in - from addressing the part that agency plays, the undoing-ness of an old lifestyle and implementation of a new lifestyle, the "alone-ness" that has sometimes accompanied me on this journey, as well as the profound peace and love that I'm discovering.

We each have our life journeys and no two are the same. There are similarities and there are differences. Each trial we endure gives us an opportunity to increase empathy and compassion... to learn new and deeper ways to love.

No matter what it is that you are working on improving, there is one thing I can guarantee... you WILL encounter naysayers... sometimes in mass quantities! It will stink! You will feel unsupported. You will feel dismissed. You will feel disrespected. You may even feel hurt and discouraged, but I argue that we need them. If you are not in a strong enough space to deal with the naysayers, you may feel the need to put in some boundaries with them; however, what I've noticed about food addiction recovery, is that I've encountered so many naysayers and most of them were dear friends or family members. They weren't acquaintances, which meant that if I continue to put in boundaries with all of these people I love, I will find myself alone. No one is perfect. 

Not only did this experience put an exclamation point on the importance and value of addiction support groups, but I also realized that I needed to learn how to accept and handle differing opinions, thoughts, and feelings. I couldn't learn that piece if the naysayers didn't have the courage to be vulnerable in expressing theirselves, or if I kept putting in boundaries. In the beginning, I needed those boundaries, but as I've been learning and growing, I'm becoming stronger and more confident in the process of recovery. I have finally reached a point, where I can open myself up periodically and consider what they're saying, and still be okay. I am learning how to disagree without becoming disagreeable. Through this process, I am learning how to weather the storms of my food addiction recovery and so can you.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthyand bright