We’re back after Christmas and Dan’s had the full festive experience: Palace losing, kids being sick everywhere, and the dreaded norovirus tidal wave arriving mid Christmas dinner. Lovely stuff. Then we get into a game of football that neither of us ever wants to think about again, VAR and the weird delayed offside stuff, and why Thomas Frank still isn’t winning Spurs fans over. After that it’s Brennan Johnson to Palace rumours, Calvert-Lewin suddenly turning into a six-yard assassin, Villa refusing to go away, and a proper listener message about teaching your kids what supporting Palace actually means.

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We try to do the grown-up referee chat and still end up saying John Brooks had an absolute mare, even while admitting Spurs deserved the two reds. Then we get into why this Premier League season feels properly weird, why Villa have to be taken seriously in the title race, and why West Ham look like they’re sleepwalking into a relegation scrap. There’s also a bit on Dele Alli and how quickly it can all unravel, plus a proper chat about matchgoing fans versus global fans and why it does not have to be one or the other. We round it off with festive comments, Celtic’s magnet-gate, and Dan taking his six-year-old to Leeds away for a 4-1, which is either elite parenting or a safeguarding issue.

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We’ve got the most chaotic story of the year from AFCON as Cameroon somehow end up with two managers and two squads, with Samuel Eto’o doing Samuel Eto’o things. Then we get into Celtic’s absolute meltdown, the Venn diagram tweet drama, and Dundee United piling in with elite trolling. From there it’s fixture congestion, the Club World Cup injury bill, and why football and politics can’t be separated no matter how much we’d like them to be. Plus: a Christmas campaign that actually matters, a wholesome tech story from Selhurst, and we launch the movement the world needs… #GiveTheKidsAJacket.

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We’re back and Dan’s fresh off Dublin with approximately 45 pints of Guinness in his system, so naturally we start with European away days and end up in some properly dark places. We talk Arsenal grinding past Wolves, City doing City things, the Carragher vs Rio nonsense, and the weird Salah situation. Then we get into the grim bit: Spurs getting bullied again, why the midfield feels so soft, and why the fanbase is already swinging hard against Thomas Frank (the poll numbers are mad). We also hit Sunderland finally doing Newcastle, proper end-game shithousery, and a big question: do Spurs fans overrate the squad and who actually gets into a top six side.

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In this one we sit down with Rory Jennings to get properly stuck into the Salah saga, the idea of legacy, and how tribal we all get when footballers cross the line. We talk Europa away days and why Prague might actually be heaven, give Everton the respect they’ve earned, and wonder what on earth Chelsea are. There’s a bit on Wolves and Derby’s infamous 11 points, a detour into ultras physically removing managers, and the usual listener chaos.

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In this one we get stuck into the Salah vs Slot saga, Carragher’s eight-minute monologue and whether a player can ever be bigger than Liverpool. We talk about the racism accusations aimed at Carragher, Salah’s legacy and why we think he has probably kicked his last ball for the club. Then we move on to Villa’s title credentials, Palace quietly cooking in the league and Wolves looking doomed, before finishing with your questions on fandom, the “big six,” VAR, co-comms, and a bit of chat about coconut mushrooms, Guinness and Palace’s Conference League adventure.

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We get stuck into a mad midweek of Premier League football: Fulham nearly coming back from 5–1 down, Romero’s scissor kick at Newcastle, Villa turning it round at Brighton, Chelsea losing at Elland Road and Haaland hitting 100 goals. Then we zoom out into the “Other 14” conversation, TV bias toward the Sky Six, Wolves sinking, Villa flying and what ownership and recruitment really do to clubs. Listener questions take us into Spurs fans vs players, the 3pm blackout, glory hunters, VAR and AI, worst away ends, early Twitter abuse and the Cantona chants, Paul Nixon and football’s selective memory.

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In this one we properly spiral about hating football, from Spurs fans booing Vicario and life under Thomas Frank to Glasner calling out the Palace board and what European football actually does to a thin squad. We chat Brentford and Brighton’s structure, Villa and Emery proving people wrong, and why big club expectations kill “performance over results” chat. There is agg everywhere, from Saka getting screamed at to Ajax ultras with rocket launchers, plus a bit on refs mic’d up, Andy Carroll’s Dagenham hat trick, away day chaos and why having a birthday in early January is a scam.

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This week we roped in Ben Bowman while Dan swans off to Strasbourg, and started with the obvious question, what is actually happening at Liverpool. We go through Arne Slot’s brutal run, Curtis Jones’ honesty, the Isak signing, the lack of a centre half and whether the players have stopped running for the manager. From there we get into Cucurella putting Yamal “in his pocket”, what Sanchez’s comments say about the level of the Premier League, and why Arsenal are scaring the life out of us in both the league and Europe. There is Spurs chat too, from PSG away and Sarr’s minutes to the “top six” debate, Marco Silva, the infamous North London derby box, and a few listener questions to finish.

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In this one we try to process a pretty grim week: Spurs getting slapped in the derby , Arsenal looking like they might actually walk the league and Chelsea quietly sneaking into the title chat. We get into Liverpool’s weird collapse, Forest’s revival under Dyche, why Eze clearly made the right call, and why long ball merchants are suddenly fashionable again. There is a mini Danny Baker rant, Steve Nash randomly popping into the DMs, a bit of Radiohead love, and a short Bazball therapy session with the Aussies giving it to us in the comments. As ever, we read out your messages, take our medicine and try not to completely lose it.

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