For Flourishing's Sake

Welcome to episode 14. I asked you to choose this week's topic and you chose Zimbardo's Time Perspectives, so today I'm going to share with you how understanding and playing with your time perspective preferences can help you - and the children you work with - flourish.

The psychologist Philip Zimbardo is largely known for the infamous Stanford Prison Experiment, but don't hold that against him; his work on time perspectives is fascinating and far less controversial!

Take a moment to think about which one of the following five perspectives might be your preferred one. You may wish to think about what your preference would be when you're on holiday - we all tend to learn to adapt and use different perspectives in various situations, for example at work.

Past Positive: You enjoy taking a trip down memory lane and as you relive past positive emotions, you feel happier. Careful of the 'rose-tinted glasses' effect though, a tendency to always hark back to 'the good old days' may paint the present in a negative light.

Past Negative: You have a tendency to go over past negative events in your mind, leading you to feel regretful or angry and affecting your mood and emotions in the here and now. This perspective can, however, help you view the present more positively.

Present Hedonistic: You live for the moment, you like to have fun, you may often act on impulse and enjoy living dangerously. This may result in difficulties in meeting deadlines as there are always more fun things to do!

Present Fatalistic: You tend not to feel in control of what happens to you and may struggle to take action and move forward with projects and ideas, as you feel that whatever you do is not likely to have an impact on the outcome.

Future: You have a tendency to spend much of your time daydreaming or planning for the future. Lists are your friend. You are likely to be well-organised and good at meeting deadlines.

You can take a quick online test on Zimbardo's website to find out your preferred perspective(s) and read more about each one.

Understanding your preferences can help you make sense of your own behaviour and reactions to situations, and can have a huge impact on how you interact with others. For example, my most prominent preference is 'present hedonistic', and one of its manifestations is that any money I have burns a hole in my pocket! Luckily I'm married to someone whose 'future' perspective is much more prominent, so we balance each other out, but until I understood about these perspectives, this was often a cause of frustration and anger in my relationship with my mum, who also displays a strong 'future' preference when it comes to money!

When we're on family holidays, walking and exploring new places, my husband likes to march ahead to our destination, whereas I like to stop and enjoy the present, taking lots of pictures (allowing me to later indulge my other strong time perspective preference - the 'past positive'). This regular tussle between us has now become an on-going family joke!

How can you use this knowledge about time perspective preferences to help you and your pupils flourish?

If you or one of your pupils have a 'present fatalistic' preference, you could practice the 'past positive' perspective by spending time thinking about past achievements and successes, and the part you / the pupil played in them.

A student who struggles to get homework done or revise for exams because of an over-tendency to enjoy the 'present hedonistic' perspective may benefit from an introduction to list-making, setting short-term, simple and achievable goals to start with, visualising future outcomes and the steps required to get there, perhaps even doing a 'Best Possible Self' activity, as described in episode 12.

I wrote about time perspectives in a little more detail in a blog post for an assignment at the start of my Master's degree, so if you'd like to find out more, head over there and have a read.

Let me know how you use what you've learnt today and, as always, until we speak again, For Flourishing's Sake, have a great week!

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In this episode, I bring you a very special guest who made the beginning of my MSc in Applied Positive Psychology utterly magical (more on this in the audio).

Christian van Nieuwerburgh is a highly regarded executive coach, leadership consultant and academic with an international reputation. He is a thought leader in the areas of coaching in educational settings, interculturally-sensitive coaching and the integration of coaching and positive psychology in professional contexts. In addition to significant experience of delivering consultancy and executive coaching to clients in the UK and internationally, Christian is recognised as a leading academic in the field of coaching psychology. He is the Editor in Chief of Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice.

Christian is the author of An Introduction to Coaching Skills: A Practical Guide, and Coaching in Professional Contexts. He is also Editor of Coaching in Education: Getting Better Results for Students, Educators, and Parents.

In this episode, Christian shares his take on nurturing relationships in the education environment.

Follow Christian on Twitter: @ChristianvN

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Welcome to episode 12. Today, I would like you to consider what your life might be like if everything went exactly the way you want it to go.

Let me take a step back. On Sunday 16th November, I celebrated the first anniversary of my life-changing weight-loss surgery. I won't go into great detail here, but if you want to know more, you can watch my live videos about it on my YouTube channel. Reaching this important milestone caused me to reflect on some of my challenges and achievements over the past year, and as I did so, I looked up from my desk at my 'Best Possible Self' scribbles from January 2017.

I did this activity during my 'Introduction to Positive Psychology' module at the start of 2017, as I began my MSc in Applied Positive Psychology; I looked at what my 'Best Possible Self' would look like 5 years later, in 2022. Under 'health', I listed being a healthy weight and swimming regularly, no longer suffering from sciatica, being full of energy and vitality and having glowing skin. Under work and education, I listed having obtained a Distinction in my Master's degree and having begun work towards a PhD. Halfway through the five years, I have reached most of those health goals, have obtained a Distinction in my Master's and have now embarked on an EdD, a different but equally valid and more appropriate (for me) route of obtaining a Doctorate.

Yet the activity I did - the 'Best Possible Self' intervention - was not intended as a goal-setting activity. This activity is a Positive Psychology intervention aimed improving mood and increasing optimism. Of course, a side-effect may well be increased goal achievement, but I am not suggesting that merely visualising an idyllic future makes it happen!

I am sharing this intervention with you from a wellbeing perspective. A literature review into over 30 'Best Possible Self' (BPS) studies found that "the BPS can be recommended as one of a portfolio of interventions and when used alone and repeated over time can result in a significant increase in well-being, which can persist over time". Researchers also found that it "can be used as an intervention with students, adults and children" and that "participants in BPS experiments report that their motivation to complete, and continue with the BPS activity is high".

You can do this activity with your students as part of PSHE lessons, tutor period or counselling sessions, and you can of course do this yourself! It can be done as a written activity (the writing format can be left to the individual, e.g. bullet points, mind map, essay etc), as a drawing activity (particularly useful for younger children) or even as a spoken activity (e.g. in dialogue with a counsellor).

Here is what you do: Take some time to visualise your life at a specific point in the future where everything has gone exactly as you want it to go - you have done and achieved everything you wanted to achieve, everything has gone brilliantly for you. Think about this point in time in the present tense: What are you doing? What are you thinking / feeling? What is happening in your life? You can do this on multiple aspects of your life (e.g. school / career, family, health) or choose a specific aspect you want to focus on. Write, draw or discuss your answers (or find any other creative way, e.g. a collage, a poem, a play…).

Repeat the activity as often as you like for increased positive results. I personally found it useful to pin my musings above my desk as a reminder of what I visualised back in 2017. This activity has been life-changing for me. Research suggests it can have a significant positive impact on wellbeing. Give it a try and let me know how it goes! I always love hearing from you 😊

And as always, until we speak again, For Flourishing's Sake, have a great week!

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Today is the start of #AntiBullyingWeek in the UK, or as my guest Adrian Bethune calls it, "it's cool to be kind" week. Wednesday 13th November is Kindness Day.

Adrian embodies kindness in his speaking, his writing and his everyday work. He is a teacher, the author of 'Wellbeing in the Primary Classroom' and the founder of www.teachappy.co.uk. You can download the It's Cool To Be Kind chapter from his book for free from his website.

You can also find Adrian on Twitter at @AdrianBethune

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What do you do when your students tell you to f*?# off? How do you handle challenging behaviour and not let it get you down?

Managing and dealing with challenging student behaviour is not something we are often taught as teachers, yet if we don't develop strategies, this can wear us down. That is what happened to me when I was a teacher and, ultimately, I left the profession as a result.

Today's guest is Adele Bates - I wish I'd known her when I was a teacher!

Adele is a Behaviour and Education Specialist.

She is a teacher, speaker, writer and educator for students with Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties. With over 17 years' experience, Adele teaches these pupils in a variety of educational settings, trains others to do so - in schools, universities and conferences, and advises on whole school approaches to supporting these students.

You can find Adele at:

www.adelebateseducation.co.uk

@adelejbates on Twitter

Sign up to Adele's new two Free Video Series here.

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Welcome to episode nine. Today, I'm going to focus on a fundamental aspect of wellbeing: Gratitude.

Last week, it was my youngest daughter's 20th Birthday. I know what you're thinking… I couldn't possibly be old enough… Thank you, you're too kind! 😉 But seriously, this Birthday was particularly important, because we are, as a family, so, so lucky!

When I was pregnant with Hannah, my husband and I were told at the 20-week scan that she had a heart condition so rare, so complex and so life threatening that there was nobody alive over the age of 20 with her condition in the entire world. We were told she would have a miserable life, spent mostly in and out of hospital, and were advised to consider a termination. Instead, Hannah received life-saving cutting-edge surgery that hadn't even been dreamt of 40 years ago, when those rare surviving 20-year-olds of 1999 were born.

Hannah in intensive care after her first open heart surgery in September 2000.

None of us can know what the future holds, but right now, today, I am hugely grateful that my daughter is 20 years old. She is happy, she is as healthy as she can be, and she is pursuing her dream of becoming a doctor, currently in her second year of studying medicine.

Both my daughters were born with complex, life-threatening heart conditions - different heart conditions, just to keep us on our toes! Between them, they've had three open heart surgeries and two cardiac arrests. Not a day goes by that I don't feel an immense sense of gratitude for their everyday lives. On their birthdays, in particular, or on anniversaries of traumatic days in our family's life, I feel this more poignantly than ever, but it's always there, as a reminder of what truly matters in life and how lucky we are as a family.

I've had strange looks from time to time when I've told people that I'm grateful for my daughters' heart conditions, but how could I not be? Their heart conditions have given them a unique perspective on life and led to them making much safer choices than many of their contemporaries when they were in their teens. They have an appreciation for everyday life that many of us would be lucky to have by the time we are middle aged or older. They have a sense of perspective that many of us needed decades longer to develop. In many ways, of course, they are typical 20-somethings, insofar as there is a 'typical' anything. They are both extraordinary and ordinary in every way that matters, and the fact that I can sit here talking about it despite every obstacle that has come our way over the years is worth celebrating, in my opinion.

I find gratitude fascinating - and I am not alone, given how much it has been researched - as it is both an emotion and a character strength. As an emotion, it can be very positive, but of course, there are times when gratitude can have negative or worrying connotations, if it carries with it a sense of indebtedness or a fear of loss, for example, but when practised intentionally it can be a powerful positive psychology intervention. As a character strength, gratitude is a bit like a muscle we can flex and strengthen, so the more we practise it, the better we get at it.

Martin Seligman, often referred to as 'the Founding Father of Positive Psychology', has carried out extensive research into gratitude. He found that if you write down 'three good things' every evening before going to bed for a week, you can be happier and/or less depressed for six months. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty amazing, so why not give it a try? I did a case study on this in a school I worked with - link here - and found that even in young children, the positive effects were almost instant and lasted beyond the intervention itself. Their teacher told me that writing a gratitude diary helped his students' behaviour, class cohesion and co-operation, and lifted individuals who needed a boost.

I will speak about gratitude in more detail in future episodes, as there are plenty more activities I'd like to share with you, but for today, our time is just about up. So I invite you to write down three good things for a week, and to do this activity with your students, too. Let me know what impact it has! And as always, until we speak again, For Flourishing's Sake, have a great week!

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Welcome to episode eight. My experiences over the last week have caused me to reflect on human connection.

Last Tuesday, I graduated from my MAPP (MSc in Applied Positive Psychology). Of course, I was excited and proud to finally attend the ceremony and receive the bit of paper that confirms I've done it, but the most exhilarating part about the day and evening was connection. My husband took the day off work, mum flew over from Luxembourg, my eldest daughter came over for dinner the night before, and my youngest was gutted she couldn't take time out from Uni, but sent me so much love via WhatsApp messages I could almost feel the squeezy hugs! Over the duration of my course, I have connected - and forged lasting strong friendships - with some amazing people. We have shared life's brilliantly great, everyday mundane and terrifyingly awful experiences. And last Tuesday, we celebrated our achievements together. It was joyous!

My MAPP friends and I celebrating our graduation.

Photo credit: www.russgostelow.com/

Then, on Thursday, I presented a Positive Education workshop at the IPEN (International Positive Education Network) Ultimate Wellbeing in Education Conference in London. During the workshop, I introduced an activity I'd previously done as part of the Positive and Character Education workshop my RWS colleague Elizabeth Wright and I ran with teachers from the LEO Academy Trust we are supporting through their Action Research Projects.

It's a simple enough activity: I ask participants to walk around the room and talk to at least two people and find at least three things they have in common with each other. It was particularly moving for me to do this after hearing Kim Leadbeater, sister of the murdered MP Jo Cox, poignantly remind us in her brilliant keynote of Jo Cox's maiden speech in Parliament, in which she said that we "have far more in common with each other than things that divide us".

Teachers have told me they hadn't realised they didn't know really basic things about people they work with every day, and this activity allowed them to connect on a personal level. You don't need to share intimate details about your life to connect with another human being, but just taking the time to talk to each other beyond "hello / good morning" and work-related conversations is a worthwhile endeavour.

During the conference's lunch break, I was tempted to take some time out and sit by myself, catching up with urgent e-mails, but I was there to connect with others, so when I saw a stranger sitting by herself, I asked if I could join her. We had a fantastic conversation and both left saying how glad we were to have connected! The conference also gave me the opportunity to catch up with people I either see rarely or knew but hadn't met in person yet. I left at the end of the day feeling tired but replenished.

For fascinating insights about the science of connection, I highly recommend the book "Social: Why our brains are wired to connect" by Matthew Lieberman. Lieberman states that "what all mammalian infants … really need from the moment of birth is a caregiver who is committed to making sure that the infant's biological needs are met. If this is true, then Maslow had it wrong." He goes on to say that "our biology is built to thirst for connection because it is linked to our most basic survival needs." (p.43)

So this week I invite you to look after your most basic survival need for human connection. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, have a more in-depth conversation with a colleague, smile at people, make eye contact and truly connect. Your week will be better for it! As always, I welcome your comments and would love to know how you've implemented this week's tip and what the results have been.

Until we speak again, For Flourishing's Sake, have a great week!

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Welcome to Episode 7! It is my privilege to have some fantastic guests to bring to you in this podcast, who share their passion and expertise with you so we can all contribute towards children and adults flourishing in education.

Today, I bring you the wonderful Kelly Hannaghan, Wellbeing Consultant for the Primary First Trust.

Kelly has spent her professional career passionately focusing on enhancing the opportunities and life chances of pupils, staff and families in education. Through the power of her mental health training and therapeutic relationship skills, she has successfully led on the Wellbeing Award for Schools process, resulting in Lessness Heath Primary School being the first nationally to achieve this.

Kelly is a regular blogger and active writer of wellbeing in education and is passionate about creating the conditions under which teachers and pupils flourish. Her approach in leading school development processes has created outstanding outcomes.

Find Kelly on Twitter @mindworkmatters

Lessness Heath Primary School

The Anna Freud Centre

Mentally Healthy Schools

Young Minds

Education Support Partnership

The Royal Foundation

Heads Together

Optimus Education

National Children's Bureau

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Welcome to episode six of the "For Flourishing's Sake" podcast! After a few weeks of featured guests, I wanted to come back to you myself today and talk about something that I am passionate about.

Positive Relationships have been mentioned by me and my guests in previous episodes. I also recently read an excellent interview with Andrew Cowley, author of "The Wellbeing Toolkit", in which he stressed the importance of positive relationships in schools (incidentally, listen out for Andrew in a future episode of this very podcast!). There is a good reason why positive relationships are being highlighted so much in education; they are crucial to wellbeing and flourishing, and not just in an educational context.

Think back to your best and worst moment in the last week. I bet that at least one of those has something to do with your interaction with another human being. There is much research evidence to show that having good social relationships and a solid social support network are key contributors to happiness and mental health, as well as to physical wellbeing. If you have a few minutes, I strongly recommend watching the "What makes a good life?" TED talk by Robert Waldringer, where he outlines lessons learnt from the longest ever study on happiness!

Within a school setting, there is ample research to suggest that positive relationships help to increase resilience and overall wellbeing of pupils and staff, improve academic attainment, critical thinking and self-esteem, and increase attendance and learning engagement.

Positive relationships include the relationships between pupils, between staff and between staff and pupils, but beyond that, the research points to the benefits of fostering strong community links, too. One example of this was demonstrated beautifully by Lois Banks in Episode four, but today, I want to focus on one simple relationships-boosting strengths-based activity you can do either with pupils or staff, or even in mixed pupil-staff groups.

This activity - "Secret Strengths List" - is featured in mine and Elizabeth Wright's book, "Character Toolkit for Teachers". It's always a popular activity in our INSET and CPD workshops! I was first introduced to this activity by my Positive Relationships module tutor, Evie Rosset, during my MSc in Applied Positive Psychology[1]:

Get each participant to write their name at the top of a blank sheet of paper, then give them an allocated amount of time - I like to play uplifting background music during the activity - and ask them to walk around the room writing down strengths they've observed for each person. They can use the VIA Character Strengths, but they don't have to.

I still have my piece of paper, with strengths identified by people who had only known me for a few days at that point, and whenever I need a boost, I look up at the notice board and read what people wrote about me. It's a fantastic feel-good activity with lasting relationship- and wellbeing-boosting effects!

Try it out in school and let me know how it goes! Meanwhile, I look forward to our next appointment in a week's time. Until then….For Flourishing's Sake, have a great week!

[1] Rosset adapted this activity from 'Strength Notes' activity (p.112): Bourner, T., Grenville-Cleave, B. and Rospigliosi, A. (2014) 101 Activities for Happiness Workshops. Printed by Createspace, an Amazon.com company.

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In this fifth episode of the "For Flourishing's Sake" podcast, I am delighted to introduce you to Sha-En Yeo of Happiness Scientists.

We met in the summer of 2019 when we both spoke together on the IPPA Education Division panel.

In this episode, she provides a useful reminder about the importance of self-care, self-compassion, and self-kindness for teachers, as well as why we became teachers and how important the relationship teachers have with their pupils is to pupil wellbeing.

Happiness Scientists seeks to empower individuals & organisations with the scientific tools to be happier. They provide training and consultancy services to help you & your school /workplace flourish!

www.happinessscientists.com

Facebook.com/happinessscientists

Find Sha-En Yeo on LinkedIn

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