Today, I am joined by my good friend Dana, also known as, “The Voice.” 

Greetings, Lovebugs! Welcome to our first experience. Together, we explore the intricacies of male-female interactions, delving into our previous dating history and the essential aspects of understanding, respecting, and connecting with others. We navigate themes like faith, values, culture, and the significance of personal growth in relationships.

We share insights that transcend the conventional dating narrative, focusing on managing expectations, minimizing unnecessary losses, and fostering genuine connections.

We address the importance of viewing each other as individuals, not commodities, and reflect on the impact of gendered tensions within the Black community. Dana and I share personal experiences, discuss the essence of genuine connections, and highlight the power of mutual support and upliftment. 

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle.

Time Stamps:

• [1:03] - Season 3 welcome!
• [2:17] - Introducing Dana!
• [4:14] - Dana and I discuss DC dating, exploring faith, values, and personal growth.
• [8:16] - Dana shares insights on evolving beyond physical attraction in dating.
• [9:46] - Dana stresses the importance of emotional support, respect, and communication in relationships for Black men.
• [11:36] - Dana recounts his experiences with women of differing communication styles.
• [13:41] - I emphasize the importance of understanding women's emotions rather than perceiving them as challenges.
• [16:23] - We fostered a unique friendship, choosing a platonic path over romance and bonding through shared interests and mutual appreciation.
• [18:50] - As a Southern Belle, I banter with Dana, exploring regional charms, comparing Southern warmth with Northern virtues.
• [23:01] - I promote genuine connections among Black people.
• [26:11] - We prioritize seeing each other as individuals and fostering respectful, meaningful interactions.
• [27:00] - Dana emphasizes the need for men to avoid objectification, treat women as individuals, and cultivate genuine, patient connections.
• [29:20] - My research suggests teaching Black men and women to see each other as individuals, beyond gendered perspectives.
• [31:43] - Connections can defy expectations.
• [35:19] - Reflecting on his dating history, Dana shifted from superficial focus to authenticity, prioritizing mental health support for significant personal growth.
• [37:47] - Diverse dating fosters personal evolution; with Dana, genuine intimacy, care, and support led to my successful spoken word debut in D.C.
• [41:20] - Dana reflects on moments of frustration in his career, recalling my encouragement to pursue his goals.
• [43:24] - Empowering others is my joy, and supporting Dana was about organic community love.
• [49:05] - I emphasize the harmonious cycle of mutual support and upliftment between a man and a woman.
• [51:49] - I encouraged Dana to do something with his voice, and this year, he did.
• [55:40] - Dana enters the Brotha-Sistah Circle with me and answers a round of rapid-fire questions.

Connect with Me:

• Subscribe to Match Marry Mate™ Newsletter
• Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/
• Instagram: @matchmarrymate
• Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate
• Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Literature & Links Mentioned

• His Dating Pivot Blog Post {+ Episode Guide}

Today, I am in the co-host seat with our resident blogger and therapist, Kaity Rodriguez to wrap 2023! We journey through 10 unforgettable moments in Black Love Culture ranging from dating, relationships, marriage, and family.

Tune in to hear our professional and personal insights, playful disagreements, and opinionated takes as we judge each story as “messy” or “magical” for the Black Community. We also have a bit of fun giving our educated guesses on each woman’s feminine archetype that we cover in this episode. Join us! 

Time Stamps:

[0:48] - Join Joyice and Kaity delving into unforgettable moments in Black culture this year!

[4:14] - Our first story opens with Rihanna’s Super Bowl surprise.

[6:06] - As a fan, Kaity shares her thoughts on Rihanna’s pregnancy announcement.[

9:40] - Joyice and Kaity weigh in on Rihanna as an unmarried mother of two.

[11:25] - Kaity contrasts Rihanna’s reality with broader frustrations faced by many Black women.

[14:30] - Joyice and Kaity address “dating the bus driver” with our two cents for Eboni K. 

[17:09] - Joyice acknowledges socioeconomic compatibility but critiques classism and elitism.

[18:57] - Joyice defends the pursuit of financial stability without negative portrayals.

[22:01] - Joyice asks listeners questions about distinctions between earning power and class.

[25:12] - Kaity speculates that Eboni's feminine archetype.

[27:45] - Joyice discussing “dating down,” contrasting Rihanna as a positively-viewed relationship and Keke's as a cautionary tale.

[30:03] - Kaity highlights the importance of a united public front in romantic relationships. 

[33:35] - We agree that the way Keke is handling the social media drama is magical, and we speculate KeKe’s feminine archetype.

[34:26] - Ciara and Russell Wilson's heartwarming baby announcement inspires Kaity to maintain hope for her own love story.

[36:34] - Joyice cheers on Ciara for being a Feminine Yet Firm (FYF) Woman.

[38:26] - Kaity speculates KeKe’s feminine archetype.

[42:30] - Kaity argues that consistency in messaging is crucial.

[43:30] - Women should prioritize listening to other women for relationship advice.

[45:25] - Joyice points out that addressing men directly for actionable steps could yield positive change, as seen with Dr. Umar Johnson.

[47:11] - The Perry incident motivated Kaity to tune out social media noise and write this post.

[50:59] - Kaity appreciates Tyler Perry's insights on creativity but agrees that he isn't qualified to give women relationship advice.

[52:06] - Eboni K makes a second appearance on our list with Mrs. Degrees.

[55:14] - Eboni's college relationship advice overlooks the cultural mismatch and unique experiences within the Black community.

[58:36] - Eboni's advice also lacks practical tools for young women trying to find a husband in college.

[1:02:04] - Joyice celebrates Kerry Washington's decade-long marriage and her memoir, and they speculate Kerry’s feminine archetype.

[1:07:25] - Kaity and Joyice cover the “No Matter What” Marriage and how wives can handle public comments.

[1:12:06] - Joyice states that Tupac's revisited story possibly impacted Will's image publicly.

[1:14:57] - We agree that Jada should not be vilified.

[1:17:07] - There was clear discomfort to how Will reacted to Jada's public comments.

[1:23:04] - Kaity & Joyice speculate Jada's feminine archetype.

[1:24:20] - Kaity & Joyice discuss “the story that they don’t care about, but know that y’all do.”

[1:29:14] - Closing on a high note, we cover our final story of the year! 

Connect with Me:

Literature & Links Mentioned

Hey, Lovebugs! Do y’all remember “The List?” The viral list of 28 places to not take a woman on a first date? It made Joyice & Kaity’s 2023 Wrapped Honorable Mention!

From The Cheesecake Factory to bowling alleys, we judge each item as a matter of safety, productivity, or preference. Plus, we spill some tea on our unconventional strategies for first dates! Stick around as we share our hopes and dreams for 2024.

Tune in for the laughs, the real talk, and some dating wisdom. 

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth! I also invite you to enroll in the Nurturing My Self-Esteem Mini-Course or grab the Feminine Identity Bundle. If you’re looking for a resource to help kickoff the year, you’ll love the 2024 Intentions & Reflections Bundle. 

Connect with Me:

“Marriage may need a reboot for a modern world, and I would say it needs a reboot for the Black American community, too." - Joyice

Join me as I discuss four transformative events that collided to give rise to examining marriage through this lens. Through my recent research project on Black marriage, revisiting the book The Making of Biblical Womanhood, scripting our marriage preparation mini-series, and conversations from my recent Caribbean travels, I've gained new insights on this topic that I want to share with you.

Hiya, Lovebugs! Today, I am discussing the eight types of marriages outlined in the Hebrew Bible. Discussing Biblical marriages, especially for Black women, can be touchy, so I sprinkled some clapbacks + humor to lighten the mood! I also don't mind calling out men, patriarchy, or misogyny.  While approaching tough topics, I intend to make you as comfortable (but also as responsible) as I can!

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Links & Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

WELCOME TO SEASON 3, titled "EXPERIENCES!"

What do we do as we close our healing journeys? Many argue that healing is never complete and agree-ish, but we do arrive at a place where we can choose something to mark the end or even a new beginning. I’ve had several points of closure and ending a particular healing season in my greater journey of becoming my new woman, as I'm sure you have too!

Season 3 Schedule:

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to ⁠drop your truth⁠ for the next Secret Story episode!

OR

Interested in being a guest? Send us an email at [email protected]!

Connect with Me:

Hey, Lovebugs! Before diving into this episode, I encourage you to listen first to Minisode 01: 2023 Wins & Lessons. In this follow-up episode, hear how you can reflect on your 2023 by evaluating our wins, highlighting our lessons, and identifying what we need to cut, continue, and create in the year ahead.

Be sure to watch out for my Clubhouse sessions on the 11th, 18th, and 29th, all about helping you navigate this jungle of love and self-understanding more intimately. Make sure you also grab the freebies because you don't want to miss these guides! Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[1:12] - We are following up on Minisode 01, reflecting on 2023.

[1:39] - I guide you through a pre-game exercise for setting intentions.

[3:18] - I encourage you to reflect on your wins and lessons for the year.[6:33] - Revisit your "cut, continue, create" list throughout Dec. and Jan.

[7:13] - I use past experiences to walk you through how to review your year and set intentions.

[8:50] - I reflect on my own personal wins e.g. {teaching my son to drive, starting grad school, and buying a dream home…}[

10:52] - I share some personal lessons learned about managing grad school workload and self-care.

[12:08] - First, reflect on your year by memorializing and celebrating.

[15:18] - When thinking about what I want to cut, I illustrate the importance of adaptability in the goal-setting process.

[18:25] - Continuous reflection on wins and lessons informs the process of setting new goals for the future.

[19:13] - I strongly discourage doing this in one sitting; this takes time.[22:26] - This process is about feminine energy, self-discovery, and trusting life's timing for growth.

[25:25] - A good friend says that your brain generates ideas but doesn't retain them, so writing them down is crucial!

Connect with Me:

Resources Mentioned:

Setting Intentions for 2024 Blog Post

2024 Moon, Mood, & Menstruation Calendar 

January’s Reset Process Part I: Review and Release the Old Year

“Before you are anything for anyone else or even before you can be anything to anyone else, you need to understand yourself and take care of yourself.” - Joyice

Intro:

Hey, Lovebugs! Allow me to guide you through a labyrinth of love and self-discovery! As we bid farewell to 2023, I invite you to join me in the art of reflection and intention-setting.

In today’s show, we embark on a journey of selfhood, exploring the interconnected threads of self-love, sisterhood, and the path to a thriving relationship or marriage.

Together, let's review the past year, celebrating wins and embracing the lessons that shaped us. From the glow moments of accomplishment to the tough, unexpected lessons, we weave a tapestry of self-awareness, and as we approach the new year, I share a transformative practice with my clients – an approach encompassing self, sisters + circles, and spouses. It's a process that transcends the conventional boundaries of dating and relationships, guiding women toward sustainable growth and self-actualization.

I hope you’ll join me in this sacred space of self-reflection, where we explore the importance of honoring our spiritual selves. This episode is a testament to the power of intentional living, sisterly accountability, and the freedom to be on your own terms. As we prepare to step into 2024, let us usher in the spirit of transformation as we grow and go!

Until next time, please remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[0:50] - 2023 is almost over, so let’s reflect on the year!

[3:07] - I guide clients through year-end reflection, celebrating wins, learning from lessons, and setting intentions.

[5:24] - Hear how a client revealed a gap: being too consumed with work when not dating; we discussed intentions and action points to address and close this gap.

[7:17] - I guide women in a two-part year-end review, celebrating wins, learning lessons, and setting intentions.

[9:23] - I approached 2023 with a word, adage, and twelve intentions.

[11:36] - I reflect on how a devoted client, after two years of transformative work, exemplifies the necessity of selfhood for successful relationships.

[13:45] - Join my discounted group coaching cohort, fostering self-growth that impacts relationships, success, and love!

[16:36] - I encourage bodily movement and dance which helps promote thinking and reflecting.

Connect with Me:

Resources Mentioned:

“I do think there's a contingent of Black men that think that Black women should recognize their 'authority' just on the account of them being a man. I think it’s woefully misguided, but it does exist in our community.” - Jeremiah

Welcome back, lovebugs! My husband and I are together again to explore balance between leadership and submission, untangling historical roots of resistance among Black women.

Examining the intersections of race, culture, and religion, we navigate through Biblical passages from the Old and New Testaments. We distinguish between different forms of marriage - patriarchal, partnership, and egalitarian - and shed light on their implications for gender relations within the Black community.

We also draw on real-life stories, Biblical narratives, and scholarly insights to challenge preconceptions about submission and to offer a nuanced perspective on the roles of husbands and wives. Be sure to download your Marital Submission episode guide, and tune in!

Be sure to stay tuned, as well, because we still have two more episodes left in this mini-series, and also remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Time Stamps:

[2:28] - We are talking about marital submission in today’s show.

[5:07] - What, actually, is the meaning of submission?

[7:57] - I explore power dynamics and three U.S. marriage forms, emphasizing patriarchal marriages and submission.

[9:28] - Patriarchal marriages can be divided into two types.

[11:57] - I advocate for marital equity over sameness.

[14:37] - Hear me examine the historical impact on black marriages and the influence of Western patriarchy.

[17:05] - I explore the influence of Western patriarchal Christian marriage and emphasize mutual submission.

[20:27] - Is there a historical link between Black male authority and expectations of female submission?

[21:31] - Jeremiah observes a misguided belief among some Black men linking authority solely to gender.

[24:46] - The expectations of sacrificial love as outlined in Ephesians 5.

[26:51] - Jeremiah highlights equal reciprocity and breaking down sacrificial love into observable actions.

[27:34] - We highlight the connection between a husband's love, self-love, and unity in marriage.

[30:10] - The male instinct of protection and provision draws from nature and society.

[32:35] - Jeremiah feels that men are driven by instinct to build and protect but could lose their creative drive due to external factors.

[35:52] - Men's instinct to build can be activated with societal influence shaping their priorities.

[38:07] - I share how a wife's fulfillment is connected to her encouraging her husband's submission to the Divine.

[44:28] - It's important to adhere to instructions, drawing from personal experience and Biblical verses to illustrate dynamics in commitments.

[48:02] - I note Scripture's emphasis on men in pastoral patriarchy and highlighting the Biblical oneness achieved through mutual submission.

[51:36] - Jeremiah highlights the instinct to build , emphasizing selflessness, and preparation.

[54:15] - Jeremiah adds the importance of a selfless mindset in building for longevity, emphasizing the impact on family, children, and assets.

[57:30] - Jeremiah emphasizes that a man's work and legacy should be selfless, inspiring those closest to him.

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Resources & Books Mentioned:

Hey, Lovebugs! Join me as I share ways to approach your coming marital vows alongside my husband with insights on how to plan, prepare, and collaborate before you meet each other at the holy altar. From the Church of England to the Black Church, marriage vows, obedience, and submission, you better believe that we address the elephants in the room to prepare brides-to-be (and their grooms).

We challenge societal judgments and emphasize the importance of trust, understanding, and shared responsibility in domestic partnerships. Together, we unravel the layers of marital submission, exploring its historical roots and relevance within the Black American community.

Remember, your engagement and feedback are so important, so please feel free to share your thoughts and suggestions! Also, remember that if you have a Secret Story you want to share with me, I invite you to drop your truth for the next Secret Story episode!

Connect with Me:

Website: https://matchmarrymate.com/

Instagram: @matchmarrymate

Become a Patron: https://www.patreon.com/matchmarrymate

Book a Call: https://matchmarrymate.com/calls/ 

Links & Resources Mentioned: