The Twenty Sixth: "Resurrection".

After a short break of one year, we're back. This time around there's no songs, no jingles, no social networking, all of it put to one side to make way for even more of our "unique" brand of "comedy" banter. After a year of heavy research we've enough material at the very least to celebrate St. Andrew and his pretty ironic cross, and on the subject of crosses, call for the crucifixion of some Scottish referees. Back with a vengeance are the usual reviews and dead celebrity poetry, including the new Stoppable movie and a bit about Bruce Forsyth's saga.

To be frank, the usual pointless drivel as we rehash old material and try to remember how to speak after a year of thankful silence. Enjoy, and send us some new messages of hope to [email protected].

The Twenty Fifth: "Bushmonkey".

'This is it', as they famously say. After an honest fortnight's break comes our Quarter of a Century Episode, and to celebrate we take you painstakingly through a 12-part quiz (well, 12-ish anyway) on how our pointless little show has changed the world since it was yanked screaming from a womb barren, oh so barren of classic gold comedy. Featured in this one is much insightful nonsense on crazy millionaire Marlon King, the toothloined Mohandas Karamchand Ghandi, each and every one of the X-Factor contestants and their leering, flash-prone stalkers, and a bit about Guy Fawkes that we may have cut and pasted from last year's Bonfire episode.

We also mourn the passing of a certain young Mr. Gately and invite you to take part in our new competition to win 300 gold dust sydney Devine tickets. Our music this week comes courtesy of the up and coming Pocket Gods (www.myspace.com/thepocketgods), so strap yourself in and we'll definitely see you once again in a 'fortnight'.

The Twenty Fourth: "Rats".

As we wind down our first full day in cyberspace (OK, so that's sweeping to one side the fact that most of our shows last less than an hour, so really, even though this is the 24th episode, there's not been 24 hours worth of material, certainly not comedy material anyway, and also the fact that for each of these 24 episodes it's taken us at least 8 solid hours of yapping, weeping and editing to get the show down to less than an hour, so really for us, taking all that time into consideration, in fact we're in our 3rd year of doing this whole shambles of a tragic podcast), we talk about stuff.

Stuff like crippled rats, extinctified pandas, the Strictly Come Dancing versus X Factor drama, the ever-poetic deaths of Patrick Swayze and Keith Floyd, and the fact-based fact that Ricky Gervais revealed live on air on TV and everything that he listens to this show. The rising-like-yeast-on-speed Shimmer play for us once again, back by popular demand (www.myspace.com/shimmeruk), and thanks for tuning in. As usual, send us your own nonsense to

[email protected].

The Twenty Third: "Eurotripped".

We're back refreshed from a non-earned break, that is, a break that wasn't earned, and to drill home the point we've come up with our first show for a while lasting more than an hour. Yup, that's one full hour of pure, unadulterated comedy. You'll find it packed to the nines with Alan's important lessons from his trip to Europe and around Glasgow, the death of a Kennedy Dynasty and British Justice following the capture of Big Bob Megrahi, an unforgetable poem from Paul Gascoigne, and why we shouldn't be too worried about winning the War on Terror.

Happy Birthday to Scott's Inglorious Mum, and thanks to all our listener and fan for being patient while we've been away, especially those in Southampton. Call us. No, really...call us...

We also provide some live after the fact commentary of Andy Murray losing at the US Open, and our Glasgow music of the week comes courtesy of the increasingly popular Norquay (www.myspace.com/norquaymusic).

The Twenty Second: "Rosie".

With the greatest of thanks to Audacity, that most wizard of editing tools, and to Our Rosie, the winner of our last competition to whom this show is now dedicated (and who's definitely better than a convicted murderer), comes a brandly spanktuous new episode of this most tragic of podcasts. We wonder this time at the bold attempt by Fagan to force Oliver into swindling MJ's Paris, give praise to the passing of Patch Adams and Last Tommy Lee, and as always, spew out some pointless reviews of movies and restaurants, this time including Glasgow's The Loft, WB Yeats' Wine Lodge and Danny Zuko's new comeback movie The Taking of Pelham 123. Our Glasgow music this week comes courtesy of the superb Dr Flaw, and we leave you with some memories of Faith No More before Andrew Ridgeley was booted out the band.

See you after Alan return's from finding himself in Europe, and thanks again to all the other great entrants to our competition.

The Twenty First: "Mooning".

Sorry about the late show due to the Springsteen and subsequent swine flu, but you can rest assured that this one was worth the wait. In our longest show for a while, we lament the passing of a national hero, review the new Frank Bruno Movie, the audio-described Transformers: Revenge of the Falling Earth Movie, the Hermione's Development Movie, and some place called Ketchup. We also debate the truth of the moon landings, whether Alan should be renamed Captain Birdseye and introduce our tragic Twenty First Competition.

Our Glasgow band of the week are the energetic Tenemants
(www.myspace.com/thetenemants) and we also cram in a great track sent in by one of our loyal listeners. Enjoy...