For Those Who Care

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In this short episode, I share a personal update about why I’m pressing pause on new episodes of For Those Who Care for a little while. I talk about what it’s been like to keep caring about caregivers after my years of caring for Lance, and why even people who support caregivers need to pay attention to their own limits. I’m not offering “magic solutions” here—just honesty, encouragement, and the same questions I often ask you: What have you done to care for yourself lately? While I take a break to finish school and keep rebuilding my life, all previous episodes will still be here for you to revisit, share, and sit with whenever you need a reminder that your work matters and you are not alone.

I do plan to be back, because I care about caregivers–deeply. And you matter more than you know.

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In this second part of my conversation with Isaiah, we pick up where we left off – looking back on his time helping care for Lance and what it was like as we moved into the beginning of hospice care. Isaiah had already been with us for months by then, and he witnessed that transition – the change in pace, the weight in the air, and the effort it took to keep finding moments of humor and connection. Even with the heaviness of that time, there’s a lot of laughter in this episode.

Isaiah, who many may remember as my former co-host Jenna’s son, shares the memories that have stayed with him and the lessons he carries now about empathy, patience, and growing up quickly. We talk about how caregiving shaped him, what end‑of‑life care taught him about being present, and what he learned about himself through it all. And at one point, Isaiah turned the tables and started asking me questions: Were you afraid of the grief? Had you already started grieving before Lance died? How was the process of healing different than you thought it would be? Those questions led to an honest and deeply human conversation about love, loss, and the way healing really works.

This episode holds both the honesty and the hope of that time. I share how afraid I was of Lance dying, how I truly didn’t know if I would survive losing him, and how lost I felt when I finally reached a point where I could start living again but didn’t know how. We talk about that final stretch of Lance’s life, how it affected both Isaiah and me, and what it has looked like to move forward through it—not away from it or by ignoring it. For anyone who’s walked through caregiving or loss, I hope this conversation encourages you to believe that life after grief is still possible, and that healing doesn’t erase the story, it helps you carry it forward. 

At the very end, Isaiah offers a simple invitation: if you ever have the opportunity to care for someone, say yes. You won’t regret it.

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When Isaiah agreed to become Lance’s caregiver at just 18 years old, he already knew Lance’s diagnosis was terminal. Most people his age were thinking about school, work, or friends—but Isaiah said yes to something much harder and far more meaningful. In this first part of our two‑episode conversation, he shares what led to that decision, how caregiving reshaped his understanding of compassion and presence, and how those experiences still shape him today, more than five years after Lance’s passing.

Isaiah’s care wasn’t medical. It was about showing up. Whether working on small yard projects together, taking drives with us, or laughing over frozen yogurt, Isaiah brought connection and light into a season that could have been defined only by illness. We talk about how simple companionship can ease isolation, what younger caregivers bring to the care experience, and how families can better support them as vital parts of a care team.

Toward the end of this episode, you’ll hear a personal conversation Isaiah and I recorded after the formal interview ended. It’s an open reflection on that chapter of our lives—the impact it had on Lance, on Isaiah as a young man, and on me as both Lance’s wife and caregiver. This episode honors that shared journey and reminds us that caregiving, at any age, is really about love, connection, and showing up—especially when the road ahead is uncertain.

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As my husband, Lance, lived with dementia and a terminal diagnosis, the reality of our life stood in stark contrast to the world most families knew. In a season when many people pulled back or didn’t know how to be with us, my friend and former cohost, Jenna, made a different choice: instead of keeping her children at a distance from our reality, she intentionally brought them into our world.

In this conversation, Jenna and I talk about what it looked like for her to invite her kids into a life that was not their own — into our home, our routines, and the visible realities of disability and terminal illness. She shares how she decided what to say (and what not to say), how she weighed their different ages and personalities, and how she tried to be honest without overwhelming them.

We walk through some of the hardest moments: the unpredictable behaviors that can come with dementia, the questions her kids asked, and the conversations that followed their time with Lance. Jenna also reflects on what she saw growing in her kids as they showed up again and again — their capacity for presence, empathy, and staying with someone whose life looked very different from their own.

I share what it meant to me, as Lance’s wife and caregiver, to have a friend willing to sit with us in our reality and bring her children along, not because they had to, but because she believed this was part of forming who they are. If you’ve ever wondered whether to include kids in situations involving disability, dementia, or terminal illness — or if you’re worried you might get it “wrong” — I hope this episode gives you ideas, courage, and a sense that you don’t have to navigate it alone.

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In this heartfelt conversation, writer and memoir teacher Maureen Stanton joins me to talk about how writing our stories can help us heal, especially when we’ve lived through seasons of caring for someone we love. Maureen, author of The Murmur of Everything Moving, shares what drew her to memoir, why she loves teaching it, and why caregiving stories are so often overlooked. People outside this world often have no idea how hard caregiving can be, and we talk about why telling these stories out loud and on the page matters so much.

We talk about the difference between memoir and autobiography, how to figure out what your memoir is really about, and some common misconceptions new writers bring with them when they start. Maureen also offers down‑to‑earth, practical ideas for writing about hard things—illness, family, and grief—without feeling guilty, disloyal, or selfish.

She shares clear, simple ways to begin shaping a life into a book: choosing a focus, finding your voice, and using small everyday moments to bring a story to life. Whether you’re a current or former caregiver, or someone who simply knows it’s time to tell your story, this episode is for you. It is a conversation that feels like sitting down with a trusted friend who believes your story matters and wants to help you tell it.

You can read more about Maureen and connect with her through her website: https://www.maureenstantonwriter.com.

Photo credit: Heather Perry

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In this second part of my conversation with Sharon, we begin by talking about how our friendship grew after she cared for Lance as his home health nurse. Sharon shares how seriously she considered the decision to become his hospice nurse—asking herself if it was possible to stay professional while also being a friend—and how it all worked out in a way that was deeply meaningful for all of us.

From there, we continue exploring hospice care, focusing on the emotional and spiritual sides that reach far beyond medical support. Sharon talks about how hospice teams also care for families, helping loved ones cope with the changes and emotions that come with this stage of life. We discuss the role of hospice nurses in tending to those deeper needs and how chaplains, social workers, and other professionals work together to bring comfort and hope.

Sharon reflects on her connection with Lance and what it meant to care for someone she already knew so well, sharing stories from that time, including being a part of Lance’s final wish. She also shares stories from her years of hospice work that show why this calling continues to matter so much to her. We talk about how preparing for aging—emotionally, practically, and spiritually—can make choosing home hospice easier when the time comes. And yes, there are some laughs, as Sharon tells stories and even talks about how she’s preparing for her own aging. She shares one clear message she hopes people will take away: Have those tough conversations.

This episode offers an honest, heartfelt look at hospice care—for both body and spirit—and the grace that can be found when we approach life’s hardest seasons with compassion, preparation, and friendship. Sharon really has a way of making hospice less scary. It’s a conversation everyone should listen to.

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In this episode, I’m joined once again by my dear friend Sharon. You may recognize her from last week's episode about Home Health. Sharon first cared for my late husband Lance as his home health nurse, and two years later, when it was time to begin hospice, I asked if she would be his hospice nurse. Having her walk with us through that season meant more than I can say.

Sharon talks about what hospice really is, common misconceptions, how it differs from palliative care, when it’s typically recommended, and what families can expect when care begins. She also helps paint a picture of what home hospice looks like and how support extends beyond medical needs to include comfort, understanding, and connection. She brings years of experience as a hospice nurse, and shares stories that reveal the heart of her work—the moments that have shaped her, the memories of patients that have stayed with her, and what continues to inspire her to do this kind of meaningful care. 

Our conversation offers insight, reassurance, and hope for anyone wanting to better understand hospice care. Be sure to tune in next week for part two as we talk about the emotional and spiritual sides of hospice care—the fears, the misconceptions, and the ways hospice helps both patients and families find peace through the end-of-life journey.

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In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Sharon, a registered nurse who played a very special role in our journey—she was my late husband Lance’s home health nurse, and later, his hospice nurse. With many years of experience in both home health and hospice care, Sharon brings warmth, expertise, and insight to this conversation about what it really means to heal, live, and find comfort at home.

Together, we talk about who home health care is designed to help, the kinds of medical and therapy services it provides, and how it differs from hospice or in-home caregiving. Sharon explains how care teams coordinate with doctors to build a plan that supports both safety and independence, while also giving families the education and confidence to manage care at home. She also walks us through what the process looks like—from getting the referral to that first home visit. This conversation is both informative and personal, setting the stage for our next episode where Sharon returns to talk about hospice care.

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Grief is hard enough in private, but walking through it publicly adds a different kind of weight. In this second half of my conversation with my dear friend and former co-host, Jenna, we talk about what it has been like for her to witness my grief and healing unfold through this podcast, and what has helped her walk through it with me in a healthy, honest way.

Jenna shares practical and caring advice for anyone supporting someone through grief: being honest with yourself and the grieving person about your capacity, setting and communicating boundaries, resisting the urge to be a hero, and asking hard questions like, “Can I really take this on?” She talks about how, sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is acknowledge that you cannot be the one to show up so you don’t unintentionally add to someone’s trauma or create yet another loss.

From the perspective of the person grieving, we explore how to communicate honestly with the people trying to support you—whether you want to actively work toward healing or need to sit in your grief for a while, and why it’s important not to expect any one person to be everything for you. We emphasize the value of seeking professional help, especially when complicated histories can make leaning on certain people harder. 

We also talk about what it means to be an effective listener when grief feels overwhelming or repetitive, and how life is a continuous opportunity to grow rather than a place you ever fully arrive. Jenna closes with reflections on prioritizing healthy ways of living and nurturing your relationships now, because you never know what life will bring, and it is easier to walk through grief when you begin from a healthier place.

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When someone you love is grieving, knowing how to support them can feel complicated and even uncomfortable. This episode feels less like an interview and more like a window into a deeply personal conversation. My dear friend and former co-host, Jenna, joins me to talk honestly about what it looks like to walk through grief with someone you care about. Together, we reflect on our shared experience of grief — from moments of silence and discomfort to presence and honesty — and what we’ve learned about showing up for one another when things feel heavy.

As we talk, we touch on the fact that grief isn’t linear, why you don’t need to be everything for someone who’s grieving, how to be honest about your capacity without creating another loss, and why support isn’t about fixing. It's about staying. We also revisit our unexpected “grief trip” to Ireland, and how that experience revealed how differently grief can unfold for each of us.

Whether you’re grieving or walking beside someone who is, this episode is a reminder that love doesn’t fix grief — it simply stays present through it. This is a vulnerable, unfiltered conversation, one you’re invited to quietly sit in on. If you’ve ever wondered what true support through loss sounds like in real life, this episode is for you.