Forever Better

Forever Better

By EveresseEducationSelf-Improvement
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Forever Better episodes

  • Session 6: Why I'm No Longer Calling Myself a Minimalist
    I love building and selling websites. I just sold one of my side projects for a very nice chunk of change. Now, I'm not one of those gurus or influencers who generate "income reports" (too misleading and a bit distasteful in my book), plus how much I made is actually not the point.  The point is that this particular website represented one of my core philosophies — a philosophy that I am now giving up. 
    I'm doing well in life. But I can do better. But I haven't been able to do better because I've had a voice inside my head telling me I need to live with less. But of all people, I absolutely do not need to live with less. I was born to young parents who had very little at the time and so I had to struggle to make something out of virtually nothing. 
    Minimalism was forced upon me, so why in the world do I need to adopt it as a belief system?
    Now, this session is not just about minimalism (I won't berate you if you are a minimalist so don't worry). It's also not about buying and selling businesses. It's about how we need to be careful of the values we adopt because don't always lead to positive outcomes. 
    When I adopt a value, I take it seriously. I embody that value throughout different parts of my life. I don't just talk the talk, I walk the walk. But I've found that you really have to be mindful about how values penetrate your psyche as they can have unintended side effects. Which is why we sometimes we have to let go of, or at least temporarily shelve, certain values when they no longer serve us well.
    Minimalism started to morph into a scarcity mentality. I was struggling with a long period of stagnant growth specifically in the area of finances. And I couldn't understand why.  Because if there is one thing I've learned how to do from early on is to make a lot of money. 
    Since my teenage years I've generated millions of dollars in income, scholarships, and gifts, so why was that suddenly a problem over the past couple of years? It was a problem because I no longer had a growth mindset and, on top of that, I was becoming too impressionable. 
    We must be careful that the values we adopt lead to our development and not to our demise — core values don't always lead to positive outcomes. 
    If you want to grow in life, in any area of life, you have to have a growth mindset. So if you are experiencing lack in a particular area, you have to check how your way of thinking is impacting your self worth. Subconsciously you may not think yourself worthy of having, doing or being more because of some principle you purposely or inadvertently adopted.
    Applying the philosophy of minimalism to every area of my life was not psychologically healthy for me and so I sold my website (and ironically increased my net worth and self worth substantially).
    What principles are you living by that no longer serve you well? How is your mindset hindering you from expanding, developing and growing? This is what I will discuss in today's session. 
    If you'd like to take your development further, become a member of The Forum, our new community of personal development enthusiasts that includes exclusive access to premium workshops, articles, podcast sessions and more. If you enjoyed this episode I’d sincerely appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple podcast apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends.
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    15 min
  • Session 5: How to Handle a Fait Accompli
    Fait Accompli is a French phrase that means a thing that has already happened or has been decided before those affected hear about it, leaving them with no option but to accept it. In US English we could closely (but not exactly) translate this as: a done deal.
    One of the things I envy in my partner is his multilingualism and, most importantly, his ability to select words and phrases from several different languages that most accurately describe a situation.
    Even if you, like me, only master one language, I think it can be useful to expand your vocabulary beyond your native tongue so you can better articulate, and illuminate, your life experiences.
    This became apparent recently when I had a situation where someone made a decision, in isolation, about something that had a sole and significant impact on me. When they unexpectedly hit me with this decision I was given little time to react to the implications. What's worse is that there was no reason why this person couldn't give me a heads up. Them acting underhandedly was completely unwarranted.
    In business and political negotiations, where this phrase is often used, presenting someone with a fait accompli is typically seen as an unscrupulous tactic to disrupt the balance of power between two parties by one binding the hands of the other. In everyday life people use this shady tactic to get their way without having to deal with any resistance or backlash. 
    In this session we will go deeper into how to avoid or handle this tactic if someone uses it against you. We will also explore the moral dilemma of whether you should use it to get what you want.
    If you'd like to take your development further, become a member of The Forum, our new community of personal development enthusiasts that includes exclusive access to premium workshops, articles, podcast sessions and more.
    If you enjoyed this episode I’d sincerely appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple podcast apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends.
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    23 min
  • Session 4: This is the Top Cause of Discord in Your Life
    "A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." — Albert Einstein 
    The internal and external conflict and disharmony you often experience is not because of what you think. In this session we discuss the actual source of discord and how to overcome it.
    We are living in very exciting times. Times where disadvantaged segments of society are finding their voice and their strength. Times where the marginalized are taking up space and claiming their needs and wants by sheer force of will.
    Women, albeit roughly half of the population of the world, have traditionally only enjoyed a mere fraction of its rights and bounties. And so it is inspiring to see fellow females step confidently into their power and demand to be treated as equals. 
    But what is not so inspiring is to see the same old us vs. them mentality that is the cause of so much conflict and divisiveness in the first place. 
    Whether social, cultural, or political — people understandably join movements because they offer a sense of belonging, a means of establishing self identity and a way to bring about much needed change. 
    However, the dark side is when a group, movement or cause causes you to perpetuate the same spirit of separateness — the delusion of disconnect that Einstein is referring to. 
    In this session I use the example of the feminist movement to illuminate this "delusion" and why it is the top cause of your internal and external discord. 
    If you'd like to take your development further, become a member of The Forum, our new community of personal development enthusiasts that includes exclusive access to premium workshops, articles, podcast sessions and more.
    If you enjoyed this episode I’d sincerely appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple podcast apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends.
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    24 min
  • Session 3: How to Find and Own Your Personal Power

    Power is essential for having impact and influence. Without it, you can’t effectively pursue your purpose nor obtain what matters most to you.


    How many people do you need to get permission from before you live the life you want to live? How many times do you subject yourself to the expectations, opinions or beliefs of all these different people? 


    You may be thinking, never, but let's be real — you do all the time. You want to believe you are 100% your own person, but you are not. None of us are, because as social beings we are incredibly impressionable and care deeply about social norms. It's part of our evolutionary makeup. 


    So now that we've got the trick question out of the way, a better way to ask this is, to what extent? To what extent are you allowing all of these people to govern how you rule your world? How many bits and pieces of your personal power have you slivered away? 


    How much sway have you given other over your thoughts, ideas, opinions, habits and behaviors?   Are you ok with the amount of influence other people have on your life? 


    If the answer is no, then it is time to take the reins. You can't control everything in life, but that's even more reason to step up and own what is within your control.  We're going to discuss how in this session. 


    Power is a dynamic form of creative energy that allows you to exert some level of control over yourself, others or situations and circumstances. Power is impact. It is influence. It is expression. And, it is manifestation. It makes things happen, or puts an end to happenings, in accordance with its intention. 


    In order to bring forth an idea, be a catalyst for change, direct the course of events or inspire individuals, you must have and use power. Just like your devices are lifeless until they are plugged into a source of electricity, your intentions will lay dormant until they are backed by power.


    Moreover, in order to live with integrity and thrive in your life, you must recognize and step confidently into your personal power. It is not enough to determine your purpose, you must also take action and do the work.


    Upon identifying your authentic approach to power, leverage it to transform thoughts to things, goals to accomplishments and wishes to reality. And remember, the only person you need to ask for permission to be who you want to be is you.


    If you'd like to take your training further, register for our complimentary personal development and productivity workshop, Design and Organize Your Life, or get self-guided or one-on-one coaching.

    If you enjoyed this episode I’d sincerely appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple podcast apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends. You can also submit a voice message here if have a pressing question you’d like addressed in a future session. 
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    32 min
  • Session 2: Why Self-Worth Equals Net Worth
    Thinking highly of yourself leads you to act with discernment and integrity. You expect the best. You pursue only the best. And you hold yourself accountable for being the best (that you can be).
    In other words, self-worth is equal to net-worth and that's what I discuss in this session. We're going to talk a little bit about money and a lot about mindset. And lucky for you, I have a formula. Because you know I love formulas. Here is my very complex, highly unscientific formula for linking self-worth to net-worth:
    self-worth = integrity = discernment = refinement = standards = systems = results = reputation = opportunities = wealth = net-worth
    Too much to mentally process? Ok, let's simplify: it all comes down to making the right choices. A tongue-twister for you (or proverb, depending on how you look at it): You've got to choose what you do and you've got to do what you choose well. Write it down and repeat three times daily, because this is the real deal.
    When you love and respect yourself and your work, you are highly selective about how you expend your personal resources, i.e. your time, money and energy is only invested in what matters most.
    When you love and respect yourself and your work, you also operate with finesse. Isn't that a great word? This means you are able to do things with an almost effortless level of skill.
    Choosing the right things and doing the right things right will set you up for major success in your life. That's why the most important element in my extra long equation above is integrity. When you operate with integrity, you have a keen sense of:
    What you value
    What you do well
    What others value
    Someone with high self-worth is able to find the sweet spot between these three elements and focus their efforts there. They strive to do personally rewarding work that adds value to others, and they are particular about managing their resources efficiently so it serves this purpose.
    How can you build your self-worth in a way that leads to satisfying and successful life choices? How do you determine and then live up to your own standards of integrity?
    I have a real formula this time. One that is closely related to the convoluted equation above, but more succinct and actually science-backed. It's called the Happiness Formula. If you are experiencing some form of lack in your life or work, I bet there's at least one element that needs attention.
    Don't violate your integrity by wasting away your talent and resources on things that don't matter. Less is more so know and respect your limits, master everything within them, and watch that lead to fantastic outcomes in your life.
    If you'd like to take your training further, register for our complimentary workshop, Design and Organize Your Life or get self-guided or one-on-one coaching. If you enjoyed this episode I’d appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends. You can also give a small donation or submit a voice message if you want a question addressed in an upcoming session. 
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    26 min
  • Session 1: What Matters to You Most and Why?
    If I had to choose one question that I would ask you to reflect on, particularly when ushering in a new year, birthday or other milestone date, it would be: what matters to you most and why? 
    You likely ask yourself “what do I want”, but this question is flawed. We want and go after a lot of things that aren't necessarily linked to our authentic desires. Our wants are often heavily shaped by external influences and social norms that, over time, can suppress our deepest desires if we aren't mindful. 
    But asking “what matters” and then adding the qualifier “most”, forces you to look within, identify and acknowledge only those things that would truly bring you joy (if you would nurture and express them). Wrapping it up with “and why” further pushes you to curate your responses by justifying them. 
    So in this episode, I pose this question to you. I want you to take time and dig deep to uncover the answers. I'd argue that if your responses don't trigger any emotions, then you are only scratching the surface and need to go further. Because what I am asking is that you embark on a journey of self-exploration that culminates in you clarifying who you really are and how that translates to your aspirations in life. 
    We live in a world of limitations. Limited time, limited money, limited energy. You shouldn’t have a scarcity mindset but you should recognize your capacity. You can not do it all (no offense to the “lean in” enthusiasts) so it is high time to narrow your focus. You may have heard me state before that humans have a natural, innate desire to grow and pursue more. So no, wanting more is not the problem (sorry fellow minimalists). 
    It is completely ok to want more and from my research I've found that most people want more of three things but fall short because of a lack in three areas that are holding them back (I'll discuss this in the episode).  So as you uncover what matters most to you and why, you also need to ask yourself: 
    What do I need to stop, start, keep or discard in order to pursue what matters to me most? 
    What systems do I need to put in place to provide a solid foundation of structure and support? 
    If it wasn't for this question I wouldn't have had the courage to risk it all so I could live a purpose-filled life. I'm doing what I do because I took this question seriously and I can truly say that, despite all the ups and downs, I've developed a deep and enduring sense of contentment as a result. It is hard for me to fully articulate this profound feeling, but my purpose is to help you experience it for yourself because it is a beautiful state of being. 
    If you'd like to take your training further, I highly suggest registering for our complimentary personal development and productivity workshop, Design and Organize Your Life. 
    If you enjoyed this episode I’d sincerely appreciate your support by subscribing via the Anchor, Spotify or Apple podcast apps, leaving a review and sharing with friends. You can also give a small donation or submit a voice message here if have a pressing question you’d like addressed. I would be so honored to have your support. Until next time!
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    37 min
  • Introducing the Forever Better Podcast
    Hosted by personal development, productivity and business coach Aja Edmond, Forever Better by Everesse is a podcast for high performers, high achievers or anyone who is motivated to have, do and be just a little bit more than the day before.
    Forever Better is inspired by a mantra created by psychologist Émile Coué: "each day in every way I'm getting better and better".
    Unscripted and genuine, Aja uses anecdotes from personal experience and insights from her coaching sessions to provide proven systems and actionable strategies that help you obtain more fulfillment, freedom and fortune.
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    1 min

About Forever Better

From the publisher's feed

Inspired by a mantra created by psychologist Émile Coué — each day in every way I'm getting better and better — Forever Better by Everesse is a podcast for anyone who is motivated to have, do and be more by living with purpose and integrity.