Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 12: 8 "Hedges of Protection" to Place Around Your Marriage

In this episode the Smiths kick off Key 4 - Fiercely Protect Emotional Intimacy with and for One Another. In this key, the Smiths share the "hedges of protection" they have placed around themselves to protect the fidelity of their marriage. The first 4 are covered in this episode and the last 4 will be covered in episode 13. 

1. Never ride in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex.
2. Never eat alone with someone of the opposite sex. 
3. Never meet alone with someone of the opposite sex.
4. When traveling alone, have an accountability system in place.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Colossians 1:27
• Hedges: Loving Your Marriage Enough to Protect It by Jerry Jenkins
• Philippians 2:15
• Billy Graham's Modesto Manifesto

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 11: 4 Experiences to Live with Your Spouse in an Understanding Way

In this episode the Smiths conclude Key 3 - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important than Your Own. They talk about how at various seasons of marriage and as you and your spouse age, you may have to deal with issues that can potentially affect your sexual intimacy. The Smiths discuss these 4 experiences to live with your spouse in an understanding way:

1. Wives "coach" your husband to increase his knowledge and understanding of your unique biology, gynecology, health, and health history. Husbands, be coachable.
2. Sexual trauma, changes in libido, sexual disfunction,  Illnesses, medication changes, injuries, and chronic pain can greatly affect your sexual relationship – communicate, seek wise counsel, and pray.
3. Pregnancy and different seasons of life can present challenges.
4. Often, infertility consumes the sexual relationship – talk and pray with each other.  Also, don't bear this burden alone.

Scriptures mentioned in this episode: Proverbs 3:27, Galatians 6:2

Couple's Conversation:

• Why is it sometimes difficult to be affectionate?
• Do you talk about how you can meet each other’s need for affection?  If not, why not?
• What do you need in order to be in the mood for sex?
• Do you feel comfortable initiating sex?  Why or why not?
• How often would you prefer or expect sex?
• What sexual activities do you enjoy most?
• Are there specific sexual acts that make you uncomfortable?
• How could we each contribute to making our sexual relationship more satisfying?

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 10: Is She a Red Solo Cup or a Crystal Goblet?

In this episode the Smiths continue discussing Key 3  - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important than Your Own. We compare a red solo cup and a crystal goblet. We describe the two and explain how this is a helpful visual comparison for husbands and how they consider their wives. We also take a look at 1 Peter 3:7 and see what God's word says about how husbands are to think about their wives. 

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 9: 3 Ways to Become a Student of Your Spouse

In this episode the Smiths jump into Key 3  - Regard Each Other's Needs as More Important that Your Own. The idea explained in this key is that you and your spouse will experience better sex in marriage as you embrace the selfless nature of biblical sexuality. The Smiths unpack these three specific and practical ways to become a student of your spouse:

1. Discover his/her love language.
2. Determine when he/she is most receptive to sexual intimacy.
3. Discern what destroys sexual intimacy for him/her.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Philippians 2:3-4
• Romans 12:10
• Love Language book 
• Love Language quiz
• Proverbs 3:27
• 1 Peter 3:7

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 8: 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration (continued)

In this episode the Smiths continue to discuss the 10 necessary practices for restoration if there has been sexual sin in marriage. In episode 7, the Smiths covered the first three steps and in this episode, they cover steps 4-10, which are as follows:

4. Give your spouse complete and unhindered access to any and all of your accounts.
5. Be willing to go the "extra mile."
6. If travel is required for your job, develop a plan of accountability with your partner that you both agree to.
7. The job of the betraying spouse is to rebuild trust.
8. The job of the betrayed is to forgive.
9. Establish a specific time and place (weekly) that questions can be discussed (beyond the counseling sessions).
10. Understand you don't want things to go "back to normal."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Covenant Eyes App
• Sexual Sin blogpost
• Life 360 App
• Setting Your Marriage Free book
• 1 Corinthians 13:4
• Ephesians 4:32
• Are You Getting the Results you Desire? blogpost
• Isaiah 41:10
• Hebrews 13:5
• Psalm 46:1
• Proverbs 3:5-6
• Psalm 32:3

After listening to Episodes 5-8 (Key 2), discuss these questions with your spouse as followup:

1. In our marriage, what do you consider "need" to know information and "want" to know information?
2. What are your thoughts about masturbation?
3. Do you believe pornography is wrong or "no big deal"?
4. How does sexually explicit material impact our relationship?

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 7: Adultery in Marriage & 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration

In this episode the Smiths continue to discuss Key 2 and talk about what to do if there has been adultery in marriage. They then begin discussing the first 3 of the 10 necessary practices for restoration:

1. Seek the guidance of a trusted and biblically wise marriage mentor.
2. Cut off any and all contact with the other person.
3. Speak the truth and nothing but the truth.

Mentioned in this episode:

• 1 Corinthians 6:18-20
• Numbers 32:23
• Matthew 5:27-30
• Proverbs 28:13
• Blogpost on the 10 Necessary Practices for Restoration

Stay tuned for S2E8 where Scott and Dawn will conclude the discussion on 4-10 of the practices for restoration. 

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 6: 3 Steps to Consider When Dealing with Sexual Sin

In this episode the Smiths continue to discuss Key 2 and talk specifically about these 3 steps to consider when dealing with sexual sin:

1. Agree on what is "need to know" information versus "want to know" information. 
2. Confess sexual sins you may have committed (i.e., pornography, masturbation, abortion, or other traumatic experiences).
3. Acknowledge sexual sins that may have been committed against you. 

Mentioned in this episode:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Biblical Mediation for Temptation
Mark 4:22
Matthew 18

In our next episode we will tackle the big topic of adultery in marriage and also talk about 10 necessary practices for restoration.

If you wish to speak with the Smiths or someone on the Forever Marriage Team please email us at [email protected] and we will get you connected. 

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

Season 2: Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage
Episode 5: Key 2 - Deal with Sexual Sin - Past or Present

In this episode the Smiths discuss how sexual immorality of any sort is never to be tolerated - in or outside of marriage. A crucial aspect to experiencing a mutually fulfilling sex life inside of marriage is to ensure there is not past or present sin yet to be dealt with. The Smiths share from their own experience the powerful impact of confessed sin on their lives and marriage. To experience better sex in marriage, they encourage that you must be prepared to confess sexual sins to one another. 

Mentioned in this episode:
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Ephesians 5:13
James 5:16
Sex and the Soul of a Woman by Paula Rinehart  

Forever Marriage at Lakewood exists to strengthen families by helping couples discover God's design for marriage.

In Episode 4 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn conclude discussing the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage.

Key 1: Align your thinking about sex with God’s truth.

Within this key, Scott and Dawn explain these 3 ways to know if your sexual relationship is unhealthy:

1. You have a negative mindset about sex.
2. It has to be perverse to work.
3. It is about addiction instead of affection.

After listening to this episode, take some time to discuss these questions with your spouse.

Couple's Conversation
1. What does "affection" mean to you?
2. How much affection was there in your family growing up (verbal and nonverbal)?
3. What was the attitude toward sex in your family? Was it talked about?
4. Where did you learn about sex?
5. What do you see as the relationships between communication, intimacy and affection?
6. Do you believe sex is intended for marriage, or anyone in a loving relationship?
7. What do you believe is the basic difference in the way men and women approach sex?

In Episode 3 of Season 2 of the Forever Marriage Podcast, Scott & Dawn continue discussing the first Key of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage, which is to align your thinking about sex with God's truth.

On today's episode, Scott and Dawn explain 5 Keys to a Safe Relationship. Earlier this week, we published on the FM Blog an article explaining these 5 Keys. On the podcast today they explain in greater detail how you and your spouse can have open and honest conversations about sex.

Mentioned on the podcast:
- You Will Always Find What You are Looking For
- 1 Peter 3:17
- Romans 15:7
- MRS Goals - Measurable, Realistic, and Specific
- Proverbs 3:27

We encourage you to download a copy of the PDF of Six Keys to Better Sex in Marriage as you listen to this season of the FM Podcast. 

Stay tuned for Season 2, Episode 4! In this episode we will conclude the first Key with a discussion on how to know if your sexual relationship is unhealthy.