We’ve been told that forgiveness is the final step in healing — that to truly move on, we have to let go, find peace, and forgive the people who hurt us. But what if that’s not true? What if real healing has nothing to do with forgiveness?

In this episode, we’re flipping the script on one of the most common (and most damaging) myths in the mental health space: that you must forgive to be free. We’ll talk about how this narrative often silences pain, pressures survivors, and promotes emotional bypassing. You’ll learn why healing is a deeply personal journey that doesn’t require reconciliation, or even emotional neutrality.

Whether you’re carrying deep pain, complex trauma, or just tired of being told to “be the bigger person,” this one’s for you. You don’t have to forgive to heal — and your boundaries, anger, and truth are valid.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why forgiveness is not the ultimate goal of healing
• The pressure to be the “good victim” — and how that harms real recovery
• How trauma lives in the body and can’t be reasoned away
• Why forced forgiveness can be just another form of gaslighting
• What healing can look like without forgiving the person who hurt you
• Practical ways to reclaim your peace and power on your terms

Let this be your permission slip:

Your healing doesn’t have to include forgiveness — and that doesn’t make you bitter, broken, or stuck. That makes you human.

Follow Along & Join the Conversation:

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok — @erinburnswellness — for more real talk on healing, boundaries, and mental health without the fluff.

And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear:

You don’t owe anyone your forgiveness.