Found at 40

Ever look at your spouse and think, “I love you, but are we actually married or just really good at running a household together?” Between raising kids, juggling careers, carrying the mental load, and navigating all the changes of midlife, even good marriages can start feeling more like a business partnership than a romantic one. Marriage therapist and relationship coach Mika Ross joins Chrissi for some refreshingly relatable marriage counseling insights and relationship advice on why couples drift into roommate mode, what happens when emotional intimacy starts to fade, and why the same arguments seem to show up on repeat (yes, even the one about the dishwasher). From marriage communication and resentment to perimenopause and reconnecting with your spouse, we're talking about how to keep growing together through midlife—without waiting for your relationship to reach a breaking point.

💍 (1:30) When nothing is technically wrong: Why emotional intimacy can fade in an otherwise good marriage

❤️ (4:00) Are you just comfortable or becoming disconnected? The subtle warning signs of relationship drift

🌡️ (7:15) The marriage temperature check: How to know when your relationship needs a little attention

🛠️ (9:15) Couples therapy isn't just for marriages in crisis—why a relationship tune-up might be worth considering

🔁 (11:00) The same fight, different Tuesday: Why married couples keep having the same arguments

🗣️ (14:00) Healthy conflict and marriage communication: Can you really resolve disagreements in 10 minutes?

😤 (17:00) Should you ever go to bed angry? Rethinking the rules of marital conflict

🏠 (19:00) Married or roommates? Why good marriages lose their spark when life gets busy

📅 (21:00) Scheduling romance sounds terribly unromantic—but what happens when quality time becomes an afterthought?

💕 (24:00) Beyond date night: Small, realistic ways to reconnect with your spouse while raising kids

🧠 (28:00) The invisible mental load of motherhood: How household responsibilities can create resentment in marriage

⚖️ (31:00) Why marriage can feel unfair even when both partners have the best intentions—and how expectations shape our relationships

🌪️ (36:00) Perimenopause, hormones, and marriage: How midlife changes can affect emotional connection and relationship dynamics

✨ (43:30) Protecting your marriage for the long haul: Where to start when you want to feel like partners again

Connect with Mika Ross: Follow @mikaross.therapist on Instagram for more relationship and communication advice. DM her the word “CONFLICT” for access to her free training on breaking repetitive arguments.

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If you’ve ever wondered why you can be incredibly responsible for everyone else and still struggle to make your own habits stick, this episode is for you. Monica Packer, author of Sticky Habits and host of About Progress, joins Chrissi to unpack why traditional habit advice often misses the realities of women’s lives, especially invisible labor, mental load, low energy, and unpredictable schedules. They talk about building habits with more flexibility, creating realistic baseline goals, and designing routines that actually support you instead of making you feel like you’re constantly failing. This is a practical, encouraging conversation about consistency, self-trust, and making progress in real life—not productivity-influencer life.

• (0:00) 🗓️ Why your planner, habit tracker, and “fresh start Monday” keep betraying you
  The real reason so many well-intentioned habits fall apart before they ever get traction.
• (3:30) 👀 Why women may need to approach habit formation differently
  Monica explains the gap she noticed in mainstream self-help and productivity advice.
• (5:30) 🔄 The problem with all-or-nothing self-improvement
  How perfectionism can turn personal growth into something exhausting instead of supportive.
• (8:00) 🧠 Invisible labor, mental load, and why they matter for habits
  The unseen responsibilities that quietly drain time, energy, and predictability.
• (10:00) 📣 The “bro self-help” version of consistency
  Why “just be consistent” can sound simple in theory but fall apart in real life.
• (12:30) ✅ A new definition of consistency that doesn’t require perfection
  Monica shares a more realistic way to think about showing up over time.
• (15:00) 🔁 Why flexibility may actually make you more consistent
  The mindset shift that changes what “success” looks like when life gets chaotic.
• (16:00) 🎯 What a baseline habit is—and why it works
  How to create the smallest version of a habit that still counts, even on a terrible day.
• (19:30) 💛 What habits have to do with identity and self-trust
  Why following through in small ways can change how you see yourself.
• (21:00) 🔋 What if your problem isn’t discipline—but energy?
  A better way to think about willpower, emotional labor, and the constant drain on your internal battery.
• (24:00) 🧩 How to find the “sweet spot” for a habit
  Monica breaks down how to choose habits that are supportive, small, simple, and specific.
• (27:00) 🔗 The When-Then-After method for making habits stick
  A practical habit-stacking formula designed to work with the rhythms you already have.
• (32:00) 🛠️ What to do when a habit still isn’t working
  How to troubleshoot your habit plan without automatically deciding you’re the problem.
• (35:00) 🌱 Why failure is part of habit formation—not proof you can’t change
  Monica explains how perfection can sabotage consistency and why curiosity works better than self-blame.
• (38:00) ✨ The bigger goal
  The conversation closes with what Monica hopes women begin to believe about themselves after rethinking habits.

Follow Monica and the About Progress podcast on Instagram at @aboutprogress

Order your copy of Sticky Habits here!

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Found at 40 is back for Season 2, and Chrissi is kicking things off with her sister Sarah for a very real midlife catch-up. They talk about what happens when your 40s bring big career changes, blended-family transitions, grief, travel chaos, financial wake-up calls, and the realization that maybe we’ve all developed a few oddly specific neuroses along the way. They also dive into influencer fatigue, the rise of radical transparency online, and why watching someone figure life out in real time can be far more compelling than aspirational perfection. It’s honest, slightly unhinged, and very much a reminder that none of us actually has midlife figured out.

🎂 (0:00) Welcome back to Season 2, sister dynamics, turning 45, and why five-year plans may be overrated

🎓 (3:00) Going back to school in your 40s, surviving an intense career-change program, and starting over on your own terms

🏡 (5:30) Two very different summers: family reunions, major life transitions, and combining households

✈️ (8:30) The family vacation travel disaster that permanently changed the way Chrissi packs

🧳 (11:00) Lost luggage, vacation expectations, emotional spirals, and the surprisingly stressful reality of having none of your stuff

❤️ (14:00) Losing their 94-year-old grandmother and reflecting on aging, independence, and saying goodbye to the last grandparent

😳 (15:30) A funeral-weekend mix-up that proves even serious moments can become family stories you’ll laugh about later

📦 (17:30) Blending two households, home updates, too much stuff, and figuring out what stays when lives merge

📱 (18:30) Influencer fatigue, oversharing online, and why radical transparency suddenly feels more interesting than picture-perfect content

💔 (19:30) Watching someone navigate a deeply personal life change in public—and why audiences become so emotionally invested

💸 (21:30) Money transparency, debt payoff journeys, budgeting content, and the creator whose financial reset became unexpectedly compelling

🚀 (24:30) Building something while you’re still figuring it out, authentic online success, and why imperfect progress resonates

🗑️ (28:00) The oddly specific midlife anxieties we didn’t know we had—including one garbage-day emergency that may have gone a little too far

🦠 (32:00) Outside pants, dirty suitcases, public bathrooms, bed rules, and the realization that the world might basically be one giant Petri dish

Accounts mentioned: 

@sammy.wedemeyer

@_jen_hamilton_

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In this mini season finale episode, I’m wrapping up season one of Found at 40 with a little gratitude, a little reflection, and a very real acknowledgment that summer with kids at home is not for the faint of heart. I’m looking back on how this podcast started, what this first season has taught me, and why conversations about midlife, identity, friendship, marriage, parenting, work, hormones, and reinvention still feel so needed.

This episode is a pause, not a goodbye — a chance to close out season one, regroup for summer, and look ahead to the conversations coming in season two. More than anything, it’s a reminder that life really can begin at 40, and everything before this might just have been research.

(0:00) ☀️ Why summer feels like the right time to wrap season one of Found at 40

(1:31) 💬 Why this podcast was always meant to feel more like a midlife group chat than a crisis

(3:00) 🧭 The big midlife question: “Is this it?” — and why the answer might be more hopeful than we think

(4:32) 🎧 A little preview of season two and what’s coming next

Writer, former TV sports anchor, and midlife storyteller Laura Behnke joins Found at 40 for a powerful conversation about what happens when life refuses to follow the timeline you had planned. Laura shares how she built a successful career while quietly grieving the life she thought she was supposed to have, including marriage, motherhood, and the pressure to be “on track.”

This conversation also takes a very necessary turn into the bathroom stuff no one wants to talk about, which is exactly why we need to talk about it. Laura shares the symptom she kept explaining away, the colonoscopy she almost delayed, and why “it’s probably just hemorrhoids” is not a medical plan. It’s honest, funny, a little uncomfortable, and genuinely life-saving.

In this episode:

(0:00) ✨ Meeting Laura Behnke and the life that didn’t follow the script

(1:00) 🕰️ The childhood timeline Laura thought she would follow

(4:00) 💭 Why getting married at 38 and becoming a mom at 42 once felt impossible

(7:00) 📺 Building a successful career in sports television while hiding her private pain

(11:00) 🎯 The illusion of control in career, dating, and relationships

(14:00) ⏳ The “social clock” and why so many women feel behind in life

(20:00) 🌊 Turning 35, hitting a low point, and beginning to imagine a different future

(25:00) 💕 Meeting her husband when she finally stopped forcing the timeline

(30:00) 💔 Marriage, family loss, and the reality of layered grief

(37:00) 🧬 IVF during grief, COVID shutdowns, and one miraculous embryo

(42:00) 👶 Becoming a mother at 42 and grieving the life before motherhood

(44:00) 🚩 The symptom Laura thought was “just hemorrhoids”

(53:00) 🩺 The colonoscopy that changed everything

(58:00) 📣 Rectal cancer, colorectal cancer awareness, and why we need to talk about poop

(1:03:00) ✅ Colonoscopy screening, knowing your baseline, and the power of early detection

(1:07:00) 🌱 The life you planned, the life you actually have, and finding meaning in the “actually”

Find Laura at @laurabbehnke on Instagram or on her Substack, The Life Actually

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Keywords: later in life motherhood, motherhood at 40, motherhood at 42, IVF journey, infertility after 40, feeling behind in life, social clock, life timeline, midlife women, later love, dating in your 30s, grief and motherhood, rectal cancer symptoms, colorectal cancer awareness, colonoscopy screening

There is a question that so many women in midlife seem to be asking lately: “Do I have ADHD… or am I just completely overwhelmed?” Using a recent article about women receiving ADHD diagnoses in midlife as a jumping-off point, they talk through inattentive ADHD, hyperfocus, procrastination, emotional dysregulation, and the systems women build to keep life moving. Sarah shares what it was like growing up as a smart, energetic, often “spacey” kid whose ADHD traits were easy to miss, while Chrissi explores the difference between lifelong ADHD and the very midlife feeling of dysregulation– being scattered, overstimulated, and maxed out. It’s part sister conversation, part midlife brain audit, and part permission slip to ask a better question than “What’s wrong with my brain?” 

(0:00) 🧠 Why so many women are asking about ADHD in midlife
(1:00) 📅 Maycember chaos, end-of-school-year overload, and the midlife mental load
(3:00) 💉 PRP facials, aging, sister banter, and the ongoing “who’s older?” debate
(7:00) 🦷 Sarah’s root canal, big test energy, and major life transitions
(9:00) 📖 The article that sparked the conversation: women, ADHD diagnoses, and the systems that suddenly stop working
(11:00) 🤸 Sarah’s childhood ADHD clues: constant movement, gifted programs, spacing out, and missed signs
(13:00) 📝 Why inattentive ADHD in girls was so often overlooked
(16:00) 🧺 When motherhood, work, and unpredictability overwhelm even the best coping systems
(18:00) 🎯 Hyperfocus, changing majors, “going off vibes,” and wondering what could have been different
(21:00) ⏰ Procrastination, urgency, adrenaline, and the crash after getting everything done
(24:00) 🎓 Former gifted girls, anxiety, ADHD, and the shame of feeling smart but stuck
(26:00) ☕ Caffeine, ADHD medication, and what it feels like when a noisy brain finally quiets down
(28:00) 🛒 The grocery list spiral: when one simple task turns into a full life reorganization
(31:00) 🌪️ ADHD vs. dysregulation: feeling scattered, overwhelmed, overstimulated, or unable to function
(33:00) 🔊 Emotional, sensory, and behavioral dysregulation in midlife
(36:00) 🚪 Reducing input, setting boundaries, and the “unless there’s fire or blood” rule
(38:00) 🫶 Lowering the shame and asking what your brain actually needs
(40:00) 🐅 The tiger-in-captivity question, summer survival, kids’ phones, and midlife brain management
(43:00) 💬 Final thoughts for ADHD women, dysregulated women, and everyone whose brain is following side quests

Link to The Cut Article

Link to Liz Moody podcast episode on ADHD and dysregulation 

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SEO keywords: ADHD in women, ADHD in midlife, women with ADHD, inattentive ADHD, ADHD diagnosis in adulthood, midlife women, perimenopause and ADHD, emotional dysregulation, sensory overload, executive function, ADHD paralysis, hyperfocus, procrastination, mental load, overwhelmed moms, women’s mental health, anxiety and ADHD, adult ADHD, Found at 40 podcast

This week on Found at 40, Chrissi and Sarah are sharing what they’re loving, learning, and loathing in midlife—because life after 40 is equal parts growth, monotony, reinvention, and “are we really doing this again?” moments. From small personal wins to bigger mindset shifts, they talk about how to feel less stuck, more present, and actually enjoy your life in your 40s.

They dive into the “Novelty Rule” (and how to make time feel slower and more meaningful), why so many of us feel behind in midlife, and how stress can completely shut down your creativity and decision-making. Plus: travel highs, sister stories, and the things currently testing their patience—including the housing market and some necessary rage toward unacceptable male behavior. 

(0:00) 🎙️ Welcome back + midlife catch-up with sisters
(1:00) ✈️ Two Truths and a Lie—and a surprising win
(4:00) 👶 Parenting then vs. now and how things have changed
(6:00) 📖 Discovering poetry in your 40s and unexpected inspiration
(8:00) 🤔 Feeling behind in life and midlife timeline pressure
(11:00) 👏 Self-worth, confidence, and letting go of outside validation
(12:00) 🌴 Virgin Islands trip: travel, snorkeling, and unforgettable moments
(16:00) 🧠 The Novelty Rule: how to make life feel slower and more meaningful
(19:00) 🔄 Breaking routines and escaping midlife autopilot
(20:00) 😵‍💫 Stress, burnout, and the “freeze” response explained
(23:00) 🔥 What we’re loathing: unacceptable behavior from certain men in Congress
(30:00) 🏡 The housing market, finances, and why adulting feels harder than ever

Learn more about The Novelty Rule on the Liz Moody Podcast

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Keywords:
midlife podcast, life after 40, women in their 40s, midlife reset, feeling stuck in life, how to stop feeling behind, novelty rule, how to make life more exciting, midlife burnout, stress and freeze response, personal growth podcast, self improvement for women, confidence in your 40s, reinvention in midlife, routines vs novelty, making life feel meaningful, housing market struggles, adulting in your 40s, sister podcast, relatable podcast for women

If your brain has been running the same exhausting loops—overthinking, second-guessing, telling you you’re behind—this episode is going to feel like a reset. I’m joined by life coach Ashley Molitor, who helps women unlearn the BS stories that keep them stuck, overwhelmed, and disconnected from themselves. We get into the patterns, limiting beliefs, and midlife mindset shifts that quietly run the show—and how to finally break free from them. If you’ve ever felt like you know what needs to change but can’t seem to do it, this conversation will hit.

(0:00) 🔄 The “spinning wheel of death” in your brain—midlife overthinking explained
(2:00) 🎯 What a life coach actually does (and how it helps you break patterns faster)
(5:00) 🧠 Why your brain resists change—and keeps you stuck in the same cycles
(7:30) 📖 Limiting beliefs: the stories you didn’t choose but keep living by
(10:30) ⏳ “I’ll focus on me later”—why that mindset never works
(12:30) 🗓️ Living on autopilot: busy, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your values
(15:30) 🤝 Motherhood, burnout & why asking for help is the real power move
(18:30) ⚖️ Body image, negative self-talk & separating facts from the story
(21:30) 🔁 The patterns you don’t realize you have (relationships, habits & self-sabotage)
(25:00) ❓ The questions you’re asking yourself that keep you stuck
(30:00) 🔥 How to identify patterns by looking at results you don’t like
(34:00) 😵 Post-interaction spiraling & how to stop overanalyzing everything
(38:30) ✨ Letting go of “shoulds” and rewriting the story you actually want

Follow Ashley on Instagram at @ashleylmolitor and or visit her website at https://www.ashleymolitor.com

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Keywords: midlife overthinking, limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, breaking patterns, mindset for women, life coach Ashley Molitor, feeling stuck in midlife, negative self-talk, body image, boundaries, emotional health, personal growth for women, midlife reset, confidence, self-trust

After divorce, heartbreak, and nearly 20 years in a marriage that ultimately wasn’t right, Sarah is sharing the full story of how she found love again in midlife—and knew this relationship was different. In this episode, we talk honestly about dating after divorce, learning to trust your intuition, recognizing green flags, and why finding love in your 40s can actually be better than the first time around. Plus, Sarah shares the wildly sweet engagement story that had me secretly wearing a wig in public like a low-budget spy. If you’re navigating dating in your 40s, healing after divorce, or wondering if healthy love is still out there for you… this one is for you.

(0:00) 🌴 Spring break adventures, capybara encounters, and why St. Augustine unexpectedly delivered
(3:00) 👽 Our latest family obsession: Project Hail Mary, aliens, and audiobook recommendations
(5:00) 💍 Sarah officially announces she’s engaged—and adjusting to fiancé life
(7:00) 💔 Rewinding the clock: life after the end of a 19-year marriage and starting over after divorce
(9:00) ❤️‍🩹 Dating after divorce, rebuilding confidence, and why jumping in too fast can happen
(10:00) 🚩 “Where’s the bag of hair?” — the hilarious dating metaphor for hidden red flags in midlife dating courtesy of the movie Fever Pitch with Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon
(13:00) 💚 The unexpected green flags that made Sarah realize this relationship felt different
(15:00) 🧠 Chemistry vs. compatibility: what actually matters in long-term relationships
(17:00) 🏡 What 19 years of marriage taught Sarah about what she truly needs in a partner
(19:00) 🕵️ Behind-the-scenes of the engagement setup, ring recon, and my accidental secret-agent role
(24:00) 🎶 The proposal night: how the surprise engagement actually unfolded at the Cannons concert
(28:00) 😂 Why I was hiding in a Velma-esque wig and secretly filming the whole thing
(34:00) ✨ Why finding love in your 40s can be better than finding it in your 20s
(35:00) 🧭 Dating after divorce advice: trusting your intuition, listening to your body, and not ignoring warning signs
(44:00) 💕 The biggest lessons Sarah learned about healthy love, emotional safety, and knowing when it’s right

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If you’ve ever looked at your life and thought, “wait… this isn’t what I planned,” this episode will hit close to home—in the best way. Today, I’m joined by Jess Prudhomme for a deeply honest conversation about what it really looks like to navigate life when things don’t go as expected. We talk about identity shifts, starting over, and the quiet (and sometimes painful) process of finding your way back to yourself. If you’re feeling lost, stuck, or like you’ve outgrown your life, this one will remind you—you’re not alone, and you’re not off track.

(0:00) 🎙️ Meet Jess Prudhomme + the moment you realize life isn’t going as planned
(3:00) 🧭 The subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs you’ve outgrown your life
(6:00) 💔 When everything starts shifting—relationships, identity, and direction
(9:00) 🧠 The internal spiral: feeling lost, confused, and disconnected from yourself
(13:00) 🔄 The idea of a “life detour” and why it’s not what we think
(17:00) ⚖️ Letting go of the life you planned vs. clinging to what feels safe
(21:00) 🧩 Identity unraveling: who am I if I’m not this version of myself?
(25:00) 🚪 The moment things start to crack open (even if it doesn’t feel like it yet)
(29:00) 🌱 Healing isn’t linear—what growth actually looks like in real life
(33:00) 🗣️ Learning to trust your intuition again after big life changes
(37:00) 🔍 The difference between alignment, avoidance, and starting over
(41:00) 💡 What “finding yourself again” really means (and what it doesn’t)
(45:00) ✨ Small shifts that begin the road back to yourself
(48:00) 🤍 The unexpected gifts hidden inside life not going to plan

Follow Jess on Instagram at @thegreatdetour and listen to her podcast, The Great Detour, or visit her website at thegreatdetour.com

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finding yourself again, feeling lost in life, life doesn’t go as planned, starting over, identity crisis, personal growth, healing journey, trusting yourself, life transitions, burnout, self discovery, women’s personal development, reinventing yourself, emotional healing, life changes