Foundation Father

This is the most important thing we can learn from Solomon: his humility. Without that, we will never be able to do justice.

Every boy needs a “do or die” moment to consider himself a man. His confidence depends upon it. It doesn’t have to be drastic. It doesn’t have to be literally life or death.

But there needs to be some risk. Some serious consequences for failure.

I read over 50 books last year.

These are the 7 you should read this year.

Many fathers don’t tend to the garden of their family and then get mad when it doesn’t bear any fruit. Years of neglect, and they are surprised at the thorns and thistles that greet them.

Whenever we ask our kids a question, whenever we try to get them to open up, there are two dreaded responses:

• Silence


• “I don’t know.”

When this keeps happening, we should first check that we aren’t asking boring questions. Or that we are asking questions that deserve to be asked. They need to be worth the effort and breath we are expending.

But sometimes, kids just need a primer.

You can tell when a little boy has had no masculine influence in his life. When I take my kids to parks that contain lots of other children, these emasculated boys stick out like a tone-deaf singer in a choir.

They might as well be orphans. They are desperate for a father. They’ll take a fake one. Anything.

And this is what childhood is all about. Learning to make the right decisions when the stakes are small, the risks are minimal, and the consequences minor.

When we teach them something, we are coming from a position of experience and knowledge. It’s hard to go back to the beginner’s mind and speak from foundational principles. What words do we need to define? What concepts do we need to elaborate on?

As your children grow and you begin to give them jobs, you will quickly find yourself in several predicaments.

And you must require excellence. This episode goes over several reasons why a child might be do something with excellence and the different responses a father should have.

Never reward the first one to come yelling to you for help without having a firm understanding of the situation.

There are no easy answers here. But if both sides feel they have been listened to, things usually go better, no matter what your decision.