After acquiring a space cellphone, the gang calls FREAKQUELS alum Joe Petitto to see if their friends and family survived the zombie apocalypse. He assures them they all did…and then yells, ‘APRIL FOOLS!” into the phone before abruptly hanging up on them. 

To distract themselves from their crippling grief, the gang discusses the 1986 (sorta) slasher flick, “APRIL FOOL'S DAY!”

Still, aboard the Event Horizon, the Freakquels gang learns of a zombie outbreak back on Earth! Rather than save their loved ones, they retreat to a small space pub to discuss the horror comedy, “SHAUN OF THE DEAD” until this whole thing blows over. 

High above PLANET SHEQUELS, a mysterious inter-dimensional starship known as the EVENT HORIZON has entered the atmosphere. Desperate to return to their own dimension, the FREAKQUELS crew impulsively boards the vessel and is greeted by the (probably possessed) Captain Adam Farley who teaches them YOU WON’T NEED EYES to review the cult science fiction horror flick, “EVENT HORIZON!”

Now that young Vince is cured of his vampirism, the gang celebrates by discussing the 2023 film “FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S” at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza!

While stuffing his face with substandard za, young Vince is kidnapped by the shop's mechanical mascots. Led by the heroic security guards, SHANE and LEO PURDY, the gang embarks on a suicide mission to get their baby boy back!

After young Vince is stricken with a nasty bout of SPACE VAMPIRISM, Rory and EJ return to Earth to leave the fanged scamp in the hands of local vampire expert, ELLE SNOW, in hopes of making him her problem so they can dick off and review the 2022 vampire flick, “THE INVITATION.”

After their stunning display of militaristic incompetence during the battle on PLANET P, the FREAKQUELS crew is ordered back to Earth aboard the STARSHIP CARMO where Captain STREGA CARMO orders the gang to study the science fiction film “LIFEFORCE” in preparation for an impending space vampire attack! 

This week, the FREAKQUEL ROUGHNECKS battle the hostile ARACHNIDS on the war-torn PLANET P, led by the fearless Sgt. Casey Clocker and the mighty freedom-fighting ferret, CYRANO!

Between all the gooey BUG SPLATTER, the unit discusses the eerie similarities between their war and the one in the science fiction film, “STARSHIP TROOPERS!”

On a VERY special episode of FREAKQUELS, EJ and Rory teach young Vince all about the birds and the bees by having him watch the timeless love story, “BRIDE OF CHUCKY!”