so after living outside the USA for almost three years, i look back and think of the states as a nation of extremes. 

it's a nation of extreme wealth, extreme fitness,  extreme dating.  extreme diets, extreme politics, extreme work, extreme anxiety…

(i mean, who am i to talk… anyone for some extreme parenting?)

nothing wrong with extremes.  need ‘em to push limits. 

where we get into trouble is when it becomes a rigid way of living by arbitrary rules.  It becomes “the right way” and any change is “the wrong way.” 

if you’re a self-professed vegan with vegan friends, and you need some bacon… how much courage does it take to eat it in front of your vegan friends???   and be silently - or not-so-silently - judged for it.   (IMHO: just eat the damn bacon)

it’s very easy to fall into the trap of i must live in an extreme way to get the results i want.

we grew up in a society of extreme work.  that served the USA well for a long time.  but the belief that “someone has to work hard all the time” to succeed is only true sometimes. there is SO MUCH judgement against coworkers and kids around ‘how much’ people work.     

but - ‘the grind’ must die.  as in - blindly working hard just to “work hard.”

the world’s changed/ing.  rather than hard workers, we need people who can juggle knowing when to work hard and when to work soft.

🙏🏻

AIR

New to Fresh AIR?welcome!! every week, i share a fresh perspective on family, life, work, and creativity. subscribe, and join me on my journey as i explore and provide a bit of fresh air.

so… after dealing with money opportunities and challenges with a big family and multiple businesses (my own and others) for more than a decade, i’ve learned SO MUCH.  

the most important bit? financial abundance vs. financial confidence.

15+ years ago, i wanted financial abundance?  aka-

 “i want enough money in the bank or coming in so i can do what i want and not have to worry about money…”

but what i needed was financial confidence.

it comes from dealing with a tremendous variety of challenging situations across…well, everything and anything. no matter what $ situation comes up at work or at home.  so whatever comes up; i’ll be able to meet it head on. 

how would you become an amazingly confident guitar player who could walk up anytime onstage to play / jam / improv?  years or decades of practice and live playing.  same with money.

when you’re mired in money problems or administrivia, and find yourself wishing for more financial abundance to just make those problems go away… 

you’re getting what need (not want): financial confidence.  which comes from YEARS of dealing with this stuff.   

sometimes using money is the worst way to solve a ‘money challenge.’   is the best solution to kids’/teens’ money challenges just giving them more money?   (sometimes yes, usually no.)  parents and investors, ya feel me right?   our higher selves are no different… they’re not going to drop a bunch of money off just because you put it on a vision board.  whether it comes or not, either way it’s about helping you grow.

💸

AIR

so there's this annoying phrase:

All the answers are within you.

have you heard of this phrase?

it’s like a safe and we need a lock, but it doesn’t help us if there’s no key to gain access to it.

for us humans, the key to knowing the answers is based on our experience and how we interact with the world. to get those answers with us, we need to get out of our headspace. the more we interact, the more we talk to others, the more we can connect the dots.

🤔

AIR

New to Fresh AIR?welcome!! every week, i share a fresh perspective on family, life, work, and creativity. subscribe, and join me on my journey as i explore and provide a bit of fresh air.

so there's been this idea, especially from the younger generation that…the corporate world is evil working in offices are eviljob cubicles are evil

sure, there are lots of shitty environments, and sometimes all these are true.  there is a lot of evil in the corporate world.  and also in every world… non-profits, social media platforms like LinkedIn or Tiktok, and more… wherever there are humans there will be both decent ones and nasty ones.

IMHO a much bigger impact of the pandemic than the health issue is that it freed hundreds of millions+ of people from the 9-5 / 5-day a week mandatory office life.

but now millions of people have had the experience of working from home full-time, and are realizing it CAN be pretty shitty too.    

it’s not better or worse - but ‘what’s right for you’.  And most younger - especially with the rise of loneliness - will get a lot more benefit from working with people in an office than they realize.

It’s only a matter of time before some company starts marketing with a slogan of ”free yourself from the evil ravages of working at home alone!”  LOL

💁🏻‍♂️AIR

New to “FRESH AIR”?Aaron Ross shares his fresh perspective on rediscovering himself and making things work. Hit the subscribe button to receive weekly thoughts.

so i will often catch myself in this state of mind where:i have this feeling.i've got this problem. i want to do something.i want to help someone. then i would go into this loop of second guessing myself: am i weird? am i good enough? am i overthinking this?is this really a me or a business problem?sounds familiar?then i would call out this loop for what it is; it’s imposter syndrome. by calling it out, we can stop the loop.

you’re not alone. there are millions of people who feel or think the same way. we all go through this state. there’s nothing wrong with the process either, it’s part of the growth process of being human.have you tried mushrooms before? i’ve also been inspired by my experience with mushrooms, i give myself the permission to be weird. i’d explore my unique thoughts or feelings that ebbs in and out. it’s all about emotional smarts; let your mind wander, no judgement. no second guessing. let the brain do its thing and connect the dots.

🍄

AIR

Share this a friend, likely they are going through their own journey of emotional smarts. Subscribe to the weekly fresh air/perspective on life and business.

so I've been playing with this “tapestry metaphor” lately.  It’s another way to explain how i'm creating my new work (and life).

it’s not a case of “i have a clear vision of the business model, and i know exactly what i’m going to build/create, and then i just have to go do it.”  nope, that’d be too easy.  

and, i’d land back in doing something i already know, vs creating something really new and unique.

my approach today is more like “i know what i want it to feel like and some aspects of it, but i don’t know yet what it’s going to look like in the end” (not that there's ever an end).

so, i go about my days, finding or picking up random strings here and there, then putting them together to see if and how they fit together.   + i have no idea how long this will take.

i’ve meeting with an old friend like Brian Flynn. as we reconnect and talk: about different ideas, projects, hobbies, people, something may ‘click’ and i’ll think “ah, another string to throw in the collection.”

huh - ever had one of those weird synchronicity moments?  I just had one writing this.  It’s funny that the marketing person who is helping me, well - her (nick)name is “String”! 🧶

air

i'm so mad right now, angry and upset  (after some arguing with older kids.) 

i don't know what to do with these emotions in the moment, so i usually go off running if i can.  intense exercise and sleep helps.

at home with the kids we call anything overwhelming ‘big feelings’ - as in “are you having big feelings?” which could include anger, sadness, whatever.   

i’m still figuring out how to process them myself.   they often get “stuck” in my body or throat - know what i mean?    

in the USA, a lot of people badmouth schools and parents who work to teach kids emotional smarts & how to get in touch with their feelings.  ok you can take anything too far… but rather than “being too soft on kids,”  emotional smarts are the leadership superpower of today and the future.

i just turned 50 and am still figuring this out.   i wish I'd learned more about it when I was younger (yeah i know it was a different world then). 

though - having 10 kids is like being on a super fast catchup / remedial track for emotional smarts.  i’ve come a looooong way with my own emotional guidance system and resilience.  

anytime you’re dealing with fear, uncertainty, doubt, leaps of faith, depression and the like, it’s a possible training ground for a next level of emotional smarts.  so one benefit for entrepreneurs and parents (at a minimum) are extra at-bats in these areas.  

lucky us :)

air

more than thinking about time management, i focus on how to gain more energy instead. i'’m sharing a few tactics, but keep following the newsletter as how i share more on how i manage energy.

⏲️

air

how i manage energy

this [answers] questions around time management. this is probably more than one post, but just want to get down a couple ideas.

so here’s the first one, what's the way that i create time out of thin air?

well, it's by pushing stuff off to the future. part of this is saying, all right, is this something that really has to happen now?like recording a blog post or, you know.

there's lots of it doesn't have to happen right now.

it has to happen right now, like taking kids to the doctor, if it's an urgent matter, and a couple more examples, if it's not urgent, push it off to another.

* the calendar, that’s key.

* forcing functions

* practicing being present

and exercise are there ways you know for me, i don't do it enough. i’m always active, going for a walk or running. i feel like i get more energy which feels like more time when i'm feeling stressed or compressed. i feel like time really weighs on me and it's stressful. and i don't have enough.

so part of this changed my feeling around time. so yeah, this is just getting a few ideas down to do more future posts.

PS: how do you manage time? i’m curious, and the more folks share, the more we can all help each other.

sooo always remember that social media is a one-dimensional, misleading peek into other peoples’ lives.  while it’s all changing now, let’s look at what i’d generally post by channel from the past several years:

* LinkedIn business and sales stuff.  i’d post relatively dry business advice or wins / news.  

* Instagram: mostly cute family pictures, though that’s been changing lately.  what i like: it’s super easy to take & post short videos on their ‘stories’ section. 

* Twitter / Facebook: just stuff that’s reposted from instagram.

* Tiktok: similar to Instagram.  I use (erratically) it as an easy way to take short videos of whatever is inspiring me in that moment. 

most of what i post is good news (joined a board!) or advice (eat veggies!) or cute family pictures.  it’s naturally easier to capture and want to share those things, than the dark side of life.  

what you won’t see as much of (at least in video)...like how i am bawling after i dropped the kids off to school, because they're growing up.  or when there’s an argument in the house. 

when that stuff is going down, i don’t feel like whipping out my camera. (I won’t say i never will do it tho, if only to show people that it does happen.)  or if it involves other people, it’s inappropriate & distracting to capture (by video) in the moment.   

there’s an inherent bias towards positive posts.  hence why social media is so distorted vs. our real lives.  keep that in mind when you’re surfing others’ feeds.  

i ride the waves of uncertainty, anxiety, excitement, love, wins and losses, like you and everyone else.  50 years into this life thing, i’m still learning every day, and at the same time realising how little i know.

🧠

Air

PS: when i run into stories online of others and get that reaction of “oh wow they’re killing it in [business | adventure | relationship | etc etc], what am i missing…”  i remind myself how i have my own unique path and life and what has worked and is working for me.  i gotta stick to my knitting.

i remind myself how i have my own unique path and life and what has worked and is working for me.  i gotta stick to my knitting.

soooo one thing i appreciate about myself is that i’m grateful for not making bad decisions. let me rephrase that… i don’t think i missed out.

did i make ick decisions that were considered mistakes? for sure

i made icky mistakes in business… love… life… i missed out on lots of opportunities.. i didn’t write books… i said something hurtful and didn’t make up for it… i didn’t go on trips…didn’t work those extra hours… didn’t write those extra love notes...

there are two obvious ones, like getting married and divorced quickly when i was around 30.  and a venture-funded business failure.

at the time - OMG THE PAIN!!!  

and later… well, if hadn’t made those ‘mistakes’ i wouldn’t be who i am today. doing what i’m doing. with the marriage and family i have.  If i hadn’t had a business fail, i wouldn’t have landed at salesforce.com or ended up writing my books.   maybe bizarro aaron’s life is better, maybe worse, but it’s not mine.  

i can’t imagine having the life i have today without the mistakes i made back then.  so taking away those mistakes makes me feel like i’d lose part of what i value most today. 

still they are not quote “mistakes” unquote. 

these “mistakes”… these “icks” are lessons. 

attempts and opportunities to learn.

icks are okay.

🍭air p.s: what questions do you have that you like me to write or share about? reply in the comments below 👇i like to keep adding value