Friday Night Fanfiction

Fanfics read:

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL (by DarkDoomFireMaster)

Readers: Stevo, David, Shawn, Val, Scout, Waffle

Behold: the on-going nightmare of “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster. The plot dissolves into nothingness and vague recollections leaving us questioning the essentials: why are people giving other people their baby teeth, why are there fuel gauges on breasts, and… Knuckles Jr.? Why?

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-36-boob-food/

Fanfics read:

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL (by DarkDoomFireMaster)

Readers: David, Logan, Shawn, Lack of Sense, Wolfboy, ElkinFencer, Joe

With Stevo and Valerie out sick with the flu, the remaining three hosts and gaggle of guests run amok (not really), break several laws (not even close), and read some terrible fanfiction (there we go). We’re back to the world of “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster where apparently there are now Trump supporters. As if everything else wasn’t already terrible about this story! Questionable familiar relations abound in this exciting installment!

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-35-you-need-to-rub-some-poutine-on-your-balls-logan/

Fanfics read:

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL (by DarkDoomFireMaster)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Mirri, Afrohawk

“SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster is making us question the basis of most organic processes, like birth and pooping. Alas, we soldier on into another romp back to high school times with our favorite blue blur. This story is so good, in fact, that it ruined two weeks worth of episodes after this with hardware issues! YAY SONIC!?

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-34-i-fix-cars-and-poop-angrily/

Fanfics read:

SONIC HIGH SCHOOL (by DarkDoomFireMaster)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Tehmsu, Zak

We’re finally on the other side of the tunnel and back into the fun stuff. Well, mostly fun stuff. I guess it depends on your definition of fun.

In this episode we start reading “SONIC HIGH SCHOOL” by DarkDoomFireMaster. Not to spoil anything, but there’s a lot of drama that anyone who’s been through high school can most definitely, probably, potentially – okay probably actually can’t relate to.

Watch out for fast poops.

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-33-now-i-gotta-be-your-dad/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

The Hand You’re Dealt (by lacrimalis)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Shaggy

FINALLY! We finished it. Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic, “My Inner Life” is DONE. Holy shit, that was awful. So many cat noises. So many quotes that weren’t separated by paragraphs for different people. “My Inner Life” was freaking awful top to bottom. Join us as we celebrate the end of one of the most infamously bad Mary Sue stories in the fanficverse.

We cleanse our pallets with some Cuphead (yes) fanfiction – “The Hand You’re Dealt” by lacrimalis. It’s so well written that Stevo almost breaks down into tears of joy. This week ends on a high note, but there’s something dark on the horizon and fast approaching. Something…blue…?

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-32-mugman/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Shawn, Asterol, Swiss

Somewhere, out in the horizon, a silver lining is beginning to take shape. The end of Link’s Queen’s repugnant Zelda fanfic, “My Inner Life” is nearing. In the meantime…

WE WANT THIS RIDE TO BE OVER. PLEASE LET US OFF. WE DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN HYRULE ANYMORE. THIS STORY IS CRIMINALLY BAD. THE SUFFERING IS REAL.

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-31-cloaca-shake/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

Garfield Land (by ShakespeareHemmingway)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Lios, Troy

HOORAY FOR JAZZ! JAZZ HAS SAVED US! GARFIELD HAS SAVED US! LASAGNA IS LIFE!

We bask in the glory of a story that isn’t Link’s Queen’s “My Inner Life”. Then, unfortunately, we had to go back to “My Inner Life”. Everyone was sad. But we got by, because it’s what we do.

Fortunately “Garfield Land” by Shakespear Hemmingway warms our souls for a moment as the meat, cheese, and noodles of that famous fat cat’s favorite Italian treat warms his cynical cockles. Yes, just about anything is better than the longfic we’re subjecting ourselves to, even fanfic of Jim Davis’ rancid newspaper leavings. This story has broken us so bad. So so so bad.

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-30-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

Garfield Land (by ShakespeareHemmingway)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Disdonn, BigAdam

That’s it. We’ve had enough!

Too many weeks of this drek lucid dreaming Hyrule Mary Sue bull. We finally reach our limit and take a reprieve from Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life”. We read through a few pages but then switch gears to a much more enjoyable story from a much better author, with much more well developed characters and funnier lines and everything: “Garfield Land” by the aptly-named Shakespear Hemmingway.

It was great. Maybe you do really need to go through hell to appreciate reality. Unfortunately, we know we’ll have to go back next week…?

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-29-i-didnt-give-you-handy-because-we-were-watching-space-dandy/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

Readers: Stevo, David, Logan, Val, Shawn, Mana, Jared

Link’s Queen’s Zelda fanfic: “My Inner Life” continues. We have no words anymore. Only cat noises.

There’s no hope.

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-28-cat-noises/

Fanfics read:

My Inner Life (by Link’s Queen)

Readers: Stevo, David, Val, Shawn, Gorejuice, RhythmBastard

The following message was found in a large glass jar, next to the remains of a fairy of some sort:

“If you’re reading this then I am likely already beyond help. It feels like I’ve been wandering these lands for a millennia already, yet I am no closer to my goal. I don’t remember who I am anymore, or how I’m able to write this. This realm, this entire reality, was created just for me by her. And she will not leave me alone. She says my blue eyes are eternal, and then I am able to see the grotesqueries of eternity as a result. I can see in all of it’s cosmic horror that I am bound to existence only as someone else’s thought. It has taken all of my strength just to write this down in the few hours that she is not here. I don’t know when she’ll return, or what awful rites of passage she will make me undergo. I didn’t want children. I didn’t want adventure. I didn’t want any of this. If you’re not simply another figment of her imagination, I give you only these words:

Do not trust Jenna. Do not interact with Jenna. If you meet someone by that name, run. Run as fast as you can away. I am already doomed.”

Grab the fic and other stuff at https://www.fridaynightfanfiction.com/2018/02/18/season-5-episode-27-l-ron-boots/