Grab your journal
Create space for self care.
Set aside 30 minutes daily for trigger evaluation.
Trauma needs to address the body and mind. This is why emotional intelligence is important. There is need to mix approaches.
Yes, the body keeps score, but how does the body translate all the data stored in it? Behaviour and words. Attitude, thoughts and feelings.
This trauma also happened over time, or has been stored for a long time. It can only be changed ( tranaformed) over time, with consistent practices and continuous self-evaluation. New habits or programmes are required to replace old existing ones.
Both emotional regulation and cognitive restructuring are key to healing trauma.
Next, what do we mean by emotional regulation and cognitive restructuring.
In what context are we applying these concepts?
We need to apply some form of tools in daily life.
What does that look like? Self-parenting
If triggered, we need to start sitting with our triggers, and pause instead of reacting like children.
Yes we have trauma, but what does that mean? How does it show up now?
Something happened to bring up those body memories. This is what we refer to as being triggered!
So, rather than generalise that we have trauma, we need to effectively address the "trauma" in the triggers.
We do this when we explore each individual trigger. This includes an assessment of how it manifests in the body and mind (SIFT), and the "triggered" unmet needs in childhood (root cause analysis).
Additionally , we address how we can meet the unmet needs for the inner child, as well as the needs behind the trigger for the adult in us.
Immediately - We allow our breathing to support us (grounding) (somatic) , we are alive ( gratitude) (cognitive reappraisal).
Sit with the trigger (Quality time love language) and soothe( a skill we did not learn in childhood, hence how we struggle with how we feel).
This exercise is an act of self-understanding or self-awareness.
Assess trigger bodily sensations, images, feelings and thoughts (inner critic) ( Trigger assessment)
Use affirmations and words of affirmations ( love languages), regulatory hug and rock the self (touch), use calming oils or candles ( Smell).
Reframe the inner critic with thought replacement and role reversal.
There is more than one perspective out there. We do not know what else is going on.
Put ourselves in the shoes of another.
How might they feel or what might they be thinking?
How might our friends support us?
What might we say to someone we love in a similar situation?
Next, create intermediate and long term solutions to prevent, minimise and eliminate recurrence of, or minimise impact or frequency of occurrence of being re-triggered.
What do we need to do after spending quality time with the inner child during the triggered state?
What needs to happen long term? We cannot keep living in this knee jerk state?
If we do not address this situation, it might repeat itself and affect our quality of life.
Create solutions for these unmet needs with self-parenting, or first level of love in this same exercise.
What happened to trigger you? What do you need to do to prevent recurrence that is connected to the situation?
What repeated actions might you be allowing that are not in your best interest? By you or others?
Perhaps you need to create boundaries for yourself to minimise exposure to the situation.
Or you need to do something practical to address the situation that led to the trigger. If you are triggered by inconsistency in a relationship, perhaps you want to parent yourself first, then communicate with the other person.
Intermediate or short term.
1. Love on three levels.
2. Level 1 - Self-care and self-love.
Level 2 - Immediate circle with healthy boundaries.
Level three - The greater good.
3. Heal the inner child.
4. Specific solutions. Cathartic shake and trigger evaluation
