“For fifteen seconds it’s like watching Twin Peaks.”

David Bowie travels to Japan to star in commercials. Trusted soft drink companies make dodgy new product choices. And MTV VJs are collected like Pokémon. In these times, why not enjoy the cool, refreshing taste of “Crystal Japan!”

“Less dance.”

Did David Bowie forsake some of his fans by backpedalling about his sexuality? Which artists are allowed to change the lyrics to songs? The wrong words make us listen in this “Criminal World!”

“Second/early third act of any E! True Hollywood Story”

David Bowie brings Ziggy to La-la-land, encounters an agent of The World’s Oldest Profession™, and stars in a couple films to become a “Cracked Actor!”

“I don’t believe that Nancy Reagan ever smoked crack.”

We discuss Reagan’s drug problem, bicycle seat fetishes, and false endings. Plus yet another Beck tangent, and David Bowie’s best worst lyric. You can find it all here in “Crack City!”

“It’s like the end of The Sopranos.”

All we are saying is give “Conversation Piece” a chance!

“The 1960s equivalent of a Mumford and Sons song…”

It’s a hard life out there in the Ye Olde English countryside, so quit playing with your thumb wounds, let Father have the soup rock, and “Come And Buy My Toys!”

“Bludgeon them both with a doo-dah horn.”

We talk unreliable lyrics sites, peculiar respiratory afflictions, and the folly of forming a band with your significant other in “Ching-A-Ling!”

We can’t escape this feeling that this song’s a little racist—and not in a good way. Guest Abby drops in to help us decide on “China Girl!”

“Corrupting young children for 15 years”

Hey, could you lower us a blanket? It’s “Chilly Down” here!

“Reveling in the dystopia…”

Get those old bones a-shakin’ and a-movin’ with “Chant Of The Ever-Circling Skeletal Family.”