I found my way to Billie Oh via a beautiful article in the Huffington Post about their experience with Single Foster Dad Adoption.

Billie began the foster journey with no intention of adopting, but life had other plans. No stranger to the foster care system, Billie grew up having foster children in the home. In addition, Billie's aunt and mom (the great writer Jeannine Ouellette,)had been in foster care as children themselves. Billie felt a calling to help.

Suddenly welcoming a two year old into their home was a huge step. We talk about the chaotic first few weeks of bringing a toddler home as well as being a younger (20's), single, Queer parent and growing up trail by fire.

In this rich episode, we also discuss:

-Attachment bonding

-Navigating a challenging system: the surprises, realties, and delicate dance of it all

-Queer dating as a single parent

-Transracial adoption and parenting and its unique demands.

-Children with special needs, the importance of early intervention and utilizing all of the services available.

Days of Our Lives and Hallmark Channel star Jen Lilley is a foster-to-adopt mom and philanthropist who donates tons of her time, money and energy to championing the cause of foster youth. In this episode she takes time out of her busy filming schedule to discuss why she chose to spotlight foster care and adoption as her cause of choice.

In the episode Jen details how she and her husband decided to begin fostering and how they ultimately adopted two siblings, as well as eventually having two biological children, as well. She discusses her faith and how it helps guide her in all her decision making, and discusses being a celebrity ambassador for Childhelp.org as well as her work with Tulsa Girls Home (TulsaGirlsHome.org), relaying the magical synchronicities that led her to partner with Founder/CEO Brittany.

Jen also discusses the goal of reunification and how and why a child would be adopted when that goal isn't possible. She talks about how she managed / manages being a busy actress and foster mom/mom, and she shares about her previous work with "Christmas Is Not Cancelled" as well as her new venture with RaiseTheReel.com - a very special opportunity to become involved, help charity and filmmakers and have a walk on roll in one of her movies!

She also mentions CharityFinder.org as a great way to find legitimate charities to support, and mentions asking for an organization's 990 form https://www.irs.gov/forms-pubs/about-form-990 to see where their money is going.

Just a quick message of thanks and gratitude for supporting the show and an update on what's next.

We're currently working on a Season 2. I am also finishing up an offering that I hope to have out in early summer:

Two new books:

From Foster to Forever: Surviving the Journey (A handbook for Parents) and

From Foster to Forever: A workbook to help you decide if foster-to-adopt is for you.

I'll have a pre-order link up as soon as it's available.

In the meantime, if you have already left a rating/review wherever you listen to the show, thanks so much! If you haven't yet, I know we're all busy but it really helps get the show out to others and I would really appreciate it - plus, it's good karma! :)

Finally, if you know any folks with awesome foster to adopt stories who might like to be on the pod, please send them my way.

That's all for now. Bye!

I couldn't think of a better way to close out Season One than by sharing Stacey and Demi's unique story. It begins when Stacey was a new teacher in her first job. Demi was a pre-teen with a challenging family life. At school she was "always in trouble", but Stacey found a way to connect with her. When Demi ended up needing a foster home, the only person she could think of to call was Stacey. And so began their life together.

This is such a great conversation because we have both Stacey and Demi, able to share their story from both sides, foster mom and adoptee, with the gift of perspective and hindsight. They have such a beautiful relationship and they're both so strong and wise.

In the episode we delve into their twisty and often tumultuous road to forever. We talk about the difficulties on both sides of the relationship, growth and bonding out of chaos, and learning how to trust and feel safe. The "honeymoon" period vs. the reality of day to day living.

Demi dispels myths of all foster teens being into drugs and drinking and also discusses why she and her sister weren't placed together and what their active relationship with her birth family looks like today.

We touch on defiance, counseling, challenges, baggage, establishing a rhythm, routine and boundaries, and unconditional love, as well as healing, recovery and Demi's own journey into motherhood - and the many insights that is bringing.

It's such a rich exchange, and I'm so grateful for their openness and vulnerability in sharing their story on our show. I can't wait for you to listen.

This is a very special episode because it features our first nanny, Morgan, who we met when she first arrived in LA from the East Coast. Morgan found out about foster care and foster-to-adopt through working for us and decided it was something she felt called to do. Her husband agreed and shortly after becoming certified, they received Ventura County's 13th ever Safe Surrender baby. They went through the process and adopted him and have since gone on to foster multiple children, providing a safe and happy home for them, and attempting to adopt when possible.

Morgan and I both love talking and could have gone on forever! Some of the topics we cover are:

-Safe Surrender Babies

-Life-books, and how to talk to your adopted children about their story, history and birth family.

-Traumatic injuries and supporting children who have sustained abuse and have special needs.

-Visits, reunifications and attempting to create relationship with birth families.

-Integrating siblings and explaining foster carer to other kids in the family.

-What it takes to be a foster parent.

-Talking with extended families and friends about your choices and why they are right for you.

It's a wonderful episode chock full of information, wisdom and lived experience.

This episode tells the story of Amy and Tiger, two creatives who "met old" and wanted to start a family. With money constraints, they found their way to foster-to-adopt, and after an arduous fostering process, were able to adopt their daughter.

We discuss so many topics on this episode:

-The feeling of "otherness" that can sometime occur as an adoptive family.

-Transracial adoption and as white people, some ways to support an African American child.

-Tokenism and representation in the media.

-Their long journey through the difficult foster care system. The stress and trauma, and how they fought through it.

-Visitations, overnight visits and the delicate and sometimes confusing relationship with their daughter's birth family.

-"Bird-nesting" and co-parenting amicably through divorce

Since recording this episode, I wanted to share some resources on the topic of transracial adoption. As a transracial adoptive family ourselves, my husband and I are committed to continuing education on this topic, including listening to adult adoptees.

-The family camp I refer to in the episode:

Pact Family Camp

https://pactadopt.org/pact-camp/

I have since learned there are many of these types of camp. This one was recommended by our Foster Family Agency, Extraordinary Families.

-An excellent resource regarding hair care and maintenance for white parents with black children is Ms. Terria Roushun Epting. She has a book, a workbook and a course (that I'll be taking soon!). For all her offerings, visit her website https://terriaroushun.com/ and follow her on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/terriaroushun

-To learn about the life and experience of a black woman adopted by white parents, her search to find her biological parents and why white people need to be educated on the transracial adoptive experience, read "You Should Be Grateful" by Angela Tucker . I listened to the audiobook, which she does a great job of narrating! She also has many other offerings, including a podcast, which are discoverable here:

https://www.angelatucker.com/

Follow her on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/angieadoptee/

I'm sure there are many more valuable resources out there, so please don't hesitate to share them with me and our listeners. It is a lifelong education process. If you feel we've gotten anything wrong in this episode, please call us "in" and let us know how we can do better.

I'm committed to learning and growing in this space, as well as educating others. Thanks!

Jay Shindell found fostering by "accident". The single dad was only originally going to do emergency placements but soon after welcoming the first baby into his home, he was in love and wanted to adopt. He survived multiple placements, supporting many birth families and helping them get on their feet before finally finding his son (who you can hear cooing sweetly in the background throughout the interview!).

Jay talks about how he dealt with loss, how he remembers and honors the children that have been in his home and how he has found a passion for fostering and foster-to-adopt. He also discusses being an older parent, and being open and honest with his employers, who have been very supportive of his journey and needing time off.

Jay is still in the last stages of finalization with his son. We're looking forward to celebrating with him soon!

Jesse and Hope have been foster family advocates for years, helping others to navigate the foster-to-adopt journey, after adopting two children of their own through the Los Angeles foster care system. Indeed, they also helped my husband and I when we were embarking on ours, sharing strategies for everything from what questions to ask when considering a placement, to interfacing with the County and more. It was wonderful to meet again after so many years and discuss the foster-to-adoption process.

In this episode, we hear their story and talk about going through the county vs. a foster family agency, being older parents, the difficulty of reunification and the loss of a child in your life, in utero drug exposure and special needs, meant-to-be-coincidences and synchronicities that helped them trust and know they were on the right path to adoption and how they knew that their second and third placements would be permanent.

They also share about their short film "Family: A Love Story", about their foster to adopt process, directed by Sarah Prikryl.

Kira Cook always knew she wanted to adopt. She decided to foster-to-adopt soon after having a biological child. In this episode she details the difficult reunification of her first foster daughter and how she subsequently found the child that would become a part of her forever family. She talks about the challenges of working with the foster care system, maintaining the birth order between children, her pre-conceived notions about drug exposure and gives advice about how to move forward if someone is interested in pursuing this path.

Ted and Carlos adopted Daniel when he was eight through the foster care system. His parental rights had already been terminated and he'd been through multiple failed placements before arriving in their home.

On this special episode, we get to hear from Daniel, himself, about his experiences, as well as chat with Ted and Carlos about the joys and challenges of adopting an older child who has been in the system longer and how they surmounted difficulties through love, patience and perseverance. They talk about the "honeymoon period", behavioral challenges and helping Daniel get off lots of medication. They discuss how they bonded as a family during the pandemic, and "family fun day", a family tradition they developed when they were getting to know each other that they still try to continue today. They also touch on homophobia and how they deal with it, as a family with two dads.

Ted is an old friend of mine from my college days of studying in London. I'm thrilled to have had the opportunity to interview him and his beautiful family.