From Lemons to Limoncello

Some of the greatest gifts we get in this life are the friends we meet along our journey. They cheer us on, help us through rough times, and celebrate our joys and accomplishments. They're the people we can laugh with, be ourselves with, and even break down in front of, without fear of any judgement. And best friends? Well, they just become a part of our family – and we have every expectation that we'll be supporting and counting on each other well into our golden years.

But what happens when that friend dies before reaching all of the milestones that you imagined sharing together?

In this episode, I chat with Alana Puryear, who recently faced the unimaginable—the death of her best friend, Gina, who she met as a child. It was a loss that could have easily broken her. Instead, it inspired a complete transformation of her life. We talk about painful endings and hopeful new beginnings; the amazing ways friends can influence our lives, even when they’re gone; how Gina's death became the catalyst for Alana to truly start living; and all of the reasons the rest of us should be living life fully — right now.

More about Alana:

Listen to her podcast, Women Behaving Boldly

On Spotify or on Apple Podcasts

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Parents are human, which means they have their own struggles and flaws. If they're emotionally mature, they make us feel loved and safe, even when they're working through their own internal conflicts. When they're emotionally immature, the resulting dysfunction can be devastating: As children, we can grow up feeling invisible, unsafe, like a burden, like everything about us is "wrong" and/or unworthy of love. It impacts our self-esteem, our confidence, our ability to trust our own judgement, and how much – or how little – we value our needs and ourselves.

As adults, how we deal with all of that dysfunction — and our emotionally immature parent — determines how happy our own adulthood can be.

In this episode, we talk about a subject that's tough, even for the smartest, most capable adults: recognizing when you may have been raised by an emotionally immature parent, what to do about it if it's still impacting your life, and why doing the work to break dysfunctional cycles is SO worth it.

*This episode is a Sunday Shot: a short and sweet solo episode with a runtime of approximately 10 - 20 minutes. 

NOTE: In this episode, I mention a life-changing book. If you're struggling with the fallout from a relationship with an emotionally immature parent or stepparent, I highly recommend, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. It's easy to read, with clear explanations, validating examples, compassionate advice, and a roadmap for navigating these difficult relationships.

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Divorce can be devastating, but if we approach what happens next with some introspection  and creativity, it can take us on journeys — physical and emotional — that bring us back home to ourselves.  

In this episode, I chat with David Shakiban, a modern-day renaissance man who’s as innovative and mindful about his approach to life as he is about his creative pursuits. A website designer, acoustic guitarist, mosaic artist, and the creative force behind his company, ColorGrooves, David is big on introspection and personal growth. So when he found himself feeling lost after a painful divorce years ago, he went on an extended, epic trip that allowed him to work his way around Europe, collaborate with other artists, and start the process of healing.  

We also talk about the challenges of being creative in a world that doesn’t support that creativity; how traveling is a gift, but it doesn’t let us escape the inner work we need to do; finding love again; and how even the most painful event in our lives can be a catalyst for creating something beautiful. 

Oh, and he also shares what his battle cry, “Free Zaza,” means — which I’ve now adopted as a personal mantra. 

More about David:

Visit his website: https://colorgrooves.com/

Check out his portfolio: https://shakiban.com/

Listen to his album, Cusp: https://shakiban.bandcamp.com/album/cusp

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Happiness isn't something that just happens to us — we have to work for it. But it's attainable, even during the hardest times of our lives.

But I also think we may have to change our definition of what happiness really is.

After a lifetime of tragedy and challenges, I've learned 7 truths about happiness that have made all the difference in my life. In this episode, I share each of them with you. I also share some of my experiences to show you that I'm living proof that finding happiness isn't just possible — it's what turning life's lemons into limoncello is all about!

*This episode is a Sunday Shot: a short and sweet solo episode with a runtime of approximately 10 - 20 minutes. 

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

We’ve all heard stories about ancestry tests revealing surprise relatives: adults who find out they have long lost siblings, mothers finding our their children were switched at birth, children learning that the fathers who raised them aren’t their biological fathers after all. 

I never expected to have a story of my own - but that’s just what happened when I received a message from a woman claiming to be my first cousin in the fall of 2023. Our DNA test results showed a match on Ancestry.com. Her story surprised me just as much as her first message to me; we’ve been getting to know each other ever since. 

In this episode, Jennifer and I talk about her difficult childhood, how she always suspected that the man who raised her might not be her biological father, her difficult relationship with her mother, and the rollercoaster of emotions a person goes through when they have to redefine their  biological identity. We also talk about our relationship journey, having found out about our biological connection as adults, mothers, and women with fully-established identities of our own. 

To preserve the anonymity and comfort levels of others involved, we’ll be refraining from using names of our extended family members. 

According to NPE Friends Fellowship, an NPE is “an event-designation on the family tree to flag a non-parental event (previously known as a Non-Paternal Event)” — when a presumed-to-be parent has been proven, through DNA testing, not to be an individual’s true biological parent. This episode is dropping in June, since it’s NPE awareness month. 

Non-parental events can happen due to adoptions, non-consensual sex, donor conceptions, parents having multiple partners in close succession or affairs, medical errors, abductions, and more. In many cases, individuals who have been impacted by an NPE grew up with family secrets and lies, and are completely shocked when the evidence from an NPE is revealed to them. NPR Friends Fellowship estimates that 5-10% of our global population has been subjected to an NPE. The DNA Diagnostics Center shares that “Of all the possible fathers who take a paternity test, about 32% are not the biological father.” If  we take a second to realize that that number represents 1/3 of men who have a reason to take a paternity test — and not 1/3 of all men — this could mean that the true number of total NPEs in the world might be higher.

If you have found out that you’ve been impacted by an NPE there are resources to help:

NPE Friends Fellowship raises awareness by providing community and education for those affected by an NPE discovery.  You can find them at npefellowship.org

DNA Diagnostics Center is considered a leader in DNA testing and other personalized diagnostics. You can find them at 

dnacenter.com  or call them at 1-800-929-0847.

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

It doesn’t seem to matter who we are or where we’re from: we all have a tendency to be hard on ourselves. 

In this episode, we talk about why we’re so much more patient, encouraging, and kind when it comes to supporting other people — why we lift other people up but have a habit of putting ourselves down. 

I also share six ways we can be nicer to ourselves so we can build up our self-esteem, meet life’s challenges head on, and accept our past mistakes and future missteps as we evolve and make our way through life.

This episode is a Sunday Shot: a short and sweet solo episode with a runtime of approximately 10 - 20 minutes. 

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Setting boundaries in our personal and professional lives is the key to self-respect, self-empowerment, living authentically, and our safety and well-being. But so many of us are either afraid to be confrontational or confused about what a healthy boundary would even look like if we tried establishing one.

In this episode, I chat with Mint Miller — a divorced, single mom of two and boundary-setting coach — about what healthy boundaries look like, how to set them, what to do when people don't respect them, and why knowing our values and embracing our self-worth make up the foundation for building the kinds of lives we truly want and deserve.

IMPORTANT NOTE: In this episode, we talk candidly about childhood trauma and its influence on adult behavior, from people pleasing and self-esteem issues to allowing abusive behavior toward us and compromising our own needs to prioritize the needs and moods of others. If stories about domestic violence or parental neglect are disturbing or triggering for you, you may want to avoid listening to those sections — or skip this episode altogether. Please prioritize your self care and well-being, and we'll see you during the next episode, next Sunday.

More About Mint Miller:

Listen to Mint's podcast — "The Bettermint Podcast" — on Spotify or on Apple Podcasts

Find her on Instagram, at: @bettermintpodcast

*If you'd like to try the Gabby Bernstein spirit guide meditation Mint mentions in the episode, you can find it here: https://gabbybernstein.com/spirit-guide-download/?utm_source=Iterable&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=campaign_Marketing_Email_Triggerd_MAF_488592_SpiritGuidesAR_20230605%E2%81%A0

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

Are there people in your life that would love it if you just kept quiet? Who tell you not to make waves? Who make you feel like you need to ignore your own feelings to protect theirs or show them “respect?”

When we keep quiet to keep the peace with someone, it’s a lot like swallowing poison on a regular basis. After a while, all that toxicity starts to build up and eat away at you, causing real emotional and physical stress. And all that stress has very real impacts on our physical health. 

In this episode, a short-and-sweet Sunday Shot, we talk about the downstream impacts that happen when people mistreat us and we don’t speak up for ourselves. We cover kinds of health issues that can develop from bottling up our feelings, and why it’s so important to set boundaries with people who don’t value our needs as much as their own.

This episode is a Sunday Shot: a short and sweet solo episode with a runtime of approximately 10 - 20 minutes. 

For a little added information, check out these articles on The Impact of Everyday Stressors on the Immune System and Health and Stress Symptoms.

To learn more about my journey with stress, its impacts on my health, and how I healed check out my guest appearance on the "Food, Feels & Banana Peels" podcast:

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

In episode 13, we started our conversation with Sarah Bracey White, an amazing woman whose creative life expanded exponentially at the age of 75 years old. Over the last three years, Sarah has become a celebrated author of books, poems, and recorded stories. She's written and produced plays. She's acted on stage in an immersive theater production based on her memoir — a show that was produced and staged by Hollywood professionals who worked with The Who and contributed to prime time television shows and the Olympics. Now 78, Sarah continues to write, speak, and educate others on the value of sharing our stories and connecting with each other to heal and grow.

In this episode — part 2 of our inspiring conversation — Sarah and I talk about what to do when your mother can't be the kind of mother you need, the importance of connecting with each other to transcend life's challenges, looking past your past to live in the present, and why the fearless pursuit of the things that make you happy is the key to fulfillment and success at every age.

NOTE: Be sure to listen to Part 1 of this conversation (Episode 13) to hear about Sarah's challenging childhood, from growing up in the Jim Crow South to the conflicted relationship she shared with a mother who habitually tried to curb her inquisitive independent nature. You'll also learn how writing her book, Primary Lessons, taught Sarah that her mother may not have been the kind of mother she wanted, but she was the kind of mother she needed.

More about Sarah Bracey White:

Visit her website at ⁠www.onmymind.org⁠

Buy her book, "Primary Lessons:" https://bit.ly/4aFJXQg

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.

What happens when the woman that raised you isn't the mother you had in mind — when what you need or deserve isn't what she's able to give you?

Sarah Bracey White is no stranger to adversity. In fact, she's endured and transcended what would break most of us. At the tender age of 5 years old (in the 1940s) Sarah was uprooted from the only home she ever knew and loved — a nurturing, supportive home in an integrated neighborhood that she shared with her aunt — and relocated to her mother’s poverty stricken, dysfunctional home in the segregated Jim Crow South. Facing limitations she'd never experienced before because of her race, poverty and a mother's efforts to curb her inquisitive and independent nature, Sarah found herself struggling with feelings of culture shock, abandonment, restriction and isolation that lasted well into young adulthood.

Today, after a lifetime of finding — and reinventing — her identity, Sarah is a beacon of wisdom whose life experience serves us all as a master class in resilience and possibility. A 78 year-old celebrated author whose work has been turned into immersive theatrical experiences, she continues to write, speak, and educate others on the value of sharing our stories, connecting with each other, and continuing to heal and grow.

In this episode we talk with Sarah about her childhood, why she thinks we've made great strides when it comes to racism, and how writing her book, Primary Lessons, became a love letter to an imperfect mother that she didn't even realize she loved. According to Sarah, “What I wanted was a warm, loving mother. What I got was a loving mother’s guide to life. It wasn’t perfect, but it was enough.”

NOTE: This is part 1 of 2 episodes featuring my conversation with Sarah. Tune in to part 2 next week, when we'll talk about what to do if you have a mother who can’t give you what you need, how to look past your past so you can really live in the present, and why age is just a number when it comes to pursuing your dreams. 

Additional Information: In this espisode, Sarah refers to the Talented Tenth and the A.M.E. Church. For more information on these references, see below:

The Talented Tenth: Britannica | BlackPast.org

African Methodist Episcopal (A.M.E.) Church: ame-church.org

More about Sarah Bracey White:

Visit her website at www.onmymind.org

Buy her book, "Primary Lessons: https://bit.ly/4aFJXQg

More About Lisa Marie:

To learn more about Lisa Marie, get more content, or schedule a one-on-one coaching session, visit her website at: www.lisamarieconnections.com or her contact page, at: www.lisamarieconnections.com/connect

Follow her on Instagram: @lisamarieconnections

AFTER THE EPISODE:

Love the podcast?

Please rate the show and leave a review!

Know someone who would benefit from hearing this episode?

Please consider sharing it with them!

PLEASE NOTE: The "From Lemons to Limoncello" podcast and content posted by Lisa Marie DeSanto is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this website, the podcast, linked to content, or from coaching sessions is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.