Everyone has had some kind of victim experience in their life, whether that is being bullied by someone in school, pushed out of a job by a more competitive co-worker, or experiencing a sudden, unexpected illness or life event that turns your life into an out of control spiraling mess. These situations challenge our courage and our resolve and they can devastate us. T

he worse damage they do, even if we do recover and move out of them, is create a victim consciousness where even when we are no longer a victim, the situation has left us victimized.

Being a victim is tough and these are times when our lives feel out of control. Whether the situation lasts for 5 minutes, 5 months, 5 years, or a lifetime, that out of control, helpless, powerless feeling is definitely something no one wants to experience. And I know this all too well. 

When I was paralyzed at age 5 years my recovery and return to mostly fully mobility 5 years later was considered a miracle by my doctors. But what I didn’t realize until many years later is that while I was no longer a victim of the paralysis I had been victimized by the experience. 

Too many years of being left out, not being able to do things like other children, of being an inconvenience, different, and being stared at by curious people had made me very self conscious. 

My parents reminding me for years that “I almost died” (and I did have a near death experience) had made me aware that life can change in an instant, that nothing is permanent, and that you have no control over those situations.

Not being 100% healed of the paralysis was a constant reminder of what had happened to me and even though I could walk and was fully mobile, I was very aware that I was ‘different’.

I had moved from being a child victim of paralysis to being a victimized adult and I didn’t even know it.

I let this be my life for many years until something shifted and I realized that I lived my life as a victim. I think it was the realization that all of my friends were victims, that I shared my victim story with everyone, and that my victim story was the story of my complicated, out of control, unpredictable present, as well as my past.

I detail this in the first chapter of my book, From Victim to Victor, as I explain how victimization occurs and what it does to your life. (you can hear this on the podcast)

The shift didn’t happen with any intention or plan, I think that one day I got tired of sharing my victim story and I decided I wasn’t going to do it any more.

Now making the change from victim to victor was not easy because I had lived that way for a long time. But I had determination and desire, and I had the motivation to do something else. 

If being victimized was one way I could live my life, being a victor was another choice.

So I decided to try it.

Now moving from one state of being to another takes courage and determination, and a plan. I don’t suggest you do this without considering the consequences or that it may take a few tries before you find the victor path.

Here are some things you can do to move from victim to victor:

1. Like any self defeating behavior, being victimized is like an addiction. You get attention, support, and help when you’re a victim. So you are going to have to find another way to get those things.

2. Being victimized protects you from judgment when you do not succeed at things in your life. So you are going to have to make a commitment to your success and stick to it since you can’t fall back on your victim consciousness as an excuse for non-performance or non-completion.

3. You’ll have to define what being a victor means to you and to make that as valuable as being a victim. You see, victimhood is valuable or you would not do it. So you have to replace the value of being a victim with a greater, more valuable victor statement.

4. You will probably have to find new friends because if you’re a victim your friends are victims too. If you’re familiar with the expression ‘misery loves company’, if you are no longer miserable, they will no longer want your company.

5. The difference between victim and victor is I AM and if you look at the two words, they are separated by the letters I and M. Say “I am a victim”. Now say “I am a victor”. Which one feels better to you? Which one sounds better? Which one do you believe? While you may believe that you are a victim and your life probably reflects that right now, moving from victim to victor is a process of shifting your beliefs, your truth, and your perspective.

This is a journey that requires intention, commitment to yourself, and a desire for transformation. It is not going to be a quick fix but you will see results when you take small steps and celebrate each victory. 

If you are ready to move from victim to victor then make a commitment to yourself, to your joy, and to your new life as a victor where victim consciousness is not allowed to cripple your dreams and paralyze you with fear. It is not easy but it can be done with grace and ease.

I am a victor!

You can buy my book, From  Victim to Victor - How to Rise from Paralyzing Fear and Crippling Beliefs to Soar into  Empowered Freedom at amazon and get your bonuses at this link.

Created, narrated, and produced by Jennifer Hoffman.

Artwork by Jennifer Hoffman.

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