AFTER WEEKS of failure, Tristan has woken up before noon. He'll recount his tales of the day, as well as comment on recent scientific development.

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Tristan recounts his trials in finding sleep, free groceries, and makes up a philosophical point on the fly. As well as the Mexican Navy Ship, Cameron Diaz rejecting facial surgery, and how not to bake with your kids.

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Biggest douchebag, Tristan Sartoris, attempts to catch you up on his recent activity in an 84 degree studio, and tries to make sense.. per usual.

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Tristan eats an entire box of instant oatmeal and rambles for 30 minutes about mother's day, the pope, ai, dogsitting, and more!

Tristan has a disruptive showing of Sinners, gets yelled at by the homeless, and ponders the point of Hooters. Submit To The Show @: [email protected]

In 87 degrees, Tristan tinkers with the setup while recounting his keto woes, bad sleep and too much or little caffeine.

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Tristan recalls some stories from the dollar store, recent headlines, answers wedgie questions and wears swimtrunks.

Tristan finally fixes his one and only flaw. His sleep schedule.

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Midnight? Middle of Night? Who is he, where is he? Nobody knows. Tristan tells his tales of living in the shadows recently and probably some other things.

Intense migraines aside, Tristan recounts some random thoughts and tales of the week. Booyah or something like that.