Meghan Markle. The Duchess of Sussex. Her Royal Highness. Princess Meghan...? Today we have a quick Royals lesson on why Meghan isn’t a princess, and no, it actually isn’t because the Queen is a small and petty woman who stripped the Sussexes of their HRH titles this year. Also covered in today’s lesson plan: Prince Philip and why he’s a Prince, Princess Diana and why she was never “Princess Diana,” and how all of this stuff is less about “tradition” and “precedent” and more about the Queen doing whatever tf she wants.

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

There’s a lot of content out there about Quarantine Times 2020. One segment of content that isn’t current during Quarantine Times is celebrity gossip. Because “Celebrities: They’re Just Like Us” is only so interesting when “Just Like Us” means sitting at home with a grown out dye job. Since the best thing Hollywood has to offer lately is The Downfall of Ellen Degeneres in real time, we wanted to crack open the Vintage Celebrity Gossip vaults and explore something light and fun - the granddaddy of all celebrity love triangles: Brad, Angelina and Jennifer.

Get full show notes here: futureregretspodcast.com/10

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

We are talking with Kids These Days about Kids These Days. We have a wide-ranging interview with Amy, Alexis' younger sister and a member of Gen Z, about all things Gen Z, beginning with social media, TIkTok and how to take a selfie. Amy also explains situationships, tells us when it’s OK to ghost someone and makes a solid case for why you shouldn't give your phone number out anymore.

Get full show notes here: futureregretspodcast.com/9

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

We grew up on diets of Disney princesses - from Sleeping Beauty to Belle and Jasmine. The paradigm of the Disney Princess has changed over time (THANK GOD), and we’re discussing the evolution from “Damsel in Distress” to the latest trope of “Princess Saves Herself and the Idiot Prince and the Horse He Rode in On.” We’re talking gender norms, myths of love and romance, and beauty ideals. If this sounds too Gender Studies 101 for you, don’t worry. All of this happens in the context of detailed discussion of almost every Disney Princess, boobs, Disney Adults and Basicness. Get full show notes here: futureregretspodcast.com/8

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

In Quarantine Times 2020, the internet is basically: "I haven't washed my hair in a week and I'll be an alcoholic by the end of quarantine." All of you out there passing the time at home with a bottle of wine inspired us to talk about alcohol: quarantine drinking culture, what we used to drink (vodka) vs. what we drink now (boxed and canned wine), and sober curious culture. And in case you wondered (and couldn't guess) how Alexis feels about Mommy Wine Culture, we discuss that, too. Get full show notes here: futureregretspodcast.com/7

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

We're talking about the Glory Days of social media - from ICQ way back in 1995 to TikTok. Just kidding, we aren't talking about TikTok because we don't know what that is. Or Jessica doesn't, anyway. And neither of us knows how to use Twitter. Why "cancel culture" and "callout culture" sucks and you should STOP IT if you're being mean to individuals or small businesses on social media. Also covering "Keeping Up with the Influencers and Their Fake Butts" and why living your life OFF of social media and not turning every day into a photoshoot opportunity just FEELS better.

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

The sky hasn't fallen, you guys. Despite all our anxiety, the coronavirus, and the freefalling stock market, the sky is still up there and the sun is still shining. In the second part of our conversation about anxiety, we talk about the tools that have worked for each of us in easing our anxiety and breaking the habit of anxious thoughts - the pattern of spiraling thoughts, the catastrophizing, and the projection. If you don't remember anything from this episode, remember this: YOUR THOUGHTS AREN'T FACT. Check out Martha Beck's process for checking in with your instinct: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/trust-your-instincts-listen-to-your-intuition/all. For help challenging your thoughts, we recommend Byron Katie (thework.com). For general information anxiety, depression and mental illness, check out the resources at the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org).

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

In a follow up to Episode 1 when Jessica prepares to meet with her new therapist who is also an astrologist, we recap Jessica’s first two sessions with the astrologist therapist. No, the full astrological reading isn’t covered by insurance, but we cover what makes a good therapist, why couples therapy is so hard, and why Alexis is so sensitive (hint: Virgo).

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Twitter: @future_regrets 

“The sky is falling!” Or maybe that’s just my anxiety talking. Today in part one of our conversation on anxiety, we’re discussing how to make effective Deals with God. Just kidding. We’re chatting about how anxiety has shaped our lives in everything from relationships to parenting to work to making major life decisions. We talk about cognitive distortions and catastrophizing and the anxiety spiral that follows a bad dye job. We also reveal the origins of Future Regrets! (#FOFR) We’re anxious just posting this one.

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We’re discussing the British Royal Family! Harry and Meghan, Will and Kate, and which family members are smearing their relatives in the press and why. Ever wonder who pays for their castles and gowns and what Kate Middleton did before she married Prince William? What’s Prince Harry’s last name? WHAT'S THE DRAMA OVER WHO HAS TO CURTSY TO WHOM? And why is the Queen’s husband a Prince and not a King?

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Twitter: @future_regrets