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About This Episode
I'll be honest, at the start of this year, I very nearly wrote my own son off as "just being a teenager." Miles had started high school, the homework wasn't happening, the pushback was constant, and that explanation was sitting right there, easy to reach for. You know the one.
But there's this framework I'd come across a while back that kept nudging at me. And instead of asking "what's wrong with him?", it made me ask something different: what does he actually need right now? When I looked at it that way, it was obvious. New school, new faces, everything unfamiliar; his sense of belonging was on the floor. I don't think I'd have seen it without the Circle of Courage.
That's really where this conversation starts. The Circle of Courage is a way of understanding what children need to thrive - four things, held in balance: belonging, mastery, independence, and generosity. It draws on Indigenous First Nations child-rearing wisdom and pairs it with developmental psychology. And once you've seen it, you honestly can't unsee it.
So I sat down with Tamryn Batcheller-Adams to talk it through - a psychologist, author, and my colleague at TomorrowToday. Tamryn has two master's degrees in psychology, she's a mum of two, and she has this rare knack of taking something that could sound very academic and making it feel like a chat over a cup of tea. She's also refreshingly honest about how hard this is to actually do – including in her own home, with her own five-year-old, this very week.
What I love most is that it isn't about fixing what's broken. It's a strength-based way of asking where a child is struggling, and why, and then quietly building from there. It's not a marker of success. It's the pathway to it.
In This Episode We Talk About
Why "what's wrong with this child?" is the wrong question and the one worth asking instead.
The four things every child needs in balance: belonging, mastery, independence, generosity.
How one quadrant quietly gets over-invested in while another goes neglected and why the whole wheel starts to wobble.
Tamryn's honest story about her own five-year-old falling apart over spilled juice and what was really going on.
Why belonging has the biggest ripple effect of the four, and the huge opportunity that hands to schools.
The difference between a child being seen and a child being known (it's bigger than it sounds).
Why "hey, we missed you yesterday" from a teacher can land harder than the loudest war cry on the field.
What real co-creation with students actually looks like and why it's freeing for kids but quietly threatening for the adults.
Why giving your child chores was never really about the chores.
Where a school or a family might actually start with all of this.
A Moment That Stuck With Me
"I'm getting frustrated with her behaviour, but her behaviour is a communication to me about something else that's going on for her." – Tamryn Batcheller-Adams
She was talking about her own daughter – normally so steady, suddenly in tears over the smallest things. Her instinct, like any tired parent's, was "stop it, what is going on?" And then she caught herself. The behaviour wasn't the problem to be fixed. It was the message about the thing underneath it - a move on the horizon, a brother with a complicated medical history, something she'd sensed but couldn't put words to. Such a simple reframe. And yet we fall into the trap constantly.
Mentioned in This Episode
The Circle of Courage – the framework at the heart of this whole conversation. Four needs: belonging, mastery, independence, generosity – drawn from Indigenous First Nations child-rearing philosophy and paired with developmental psychology. Worth a look if you've ever watched a struggling child and sensed the usual explanations weren't quite it.
Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future – the book that put the Circle of Courage on the map, by Larry Brendtro, Martin Brokenleg and Steve Van Bockern (1990). Worth knowing: the framework came first, and the book followed. And while the title points to youth "at risk," the ideas apply to every one of us – those four needs don't stop mattering when you grow up.
TomorrowToday Global – where Tamryn and I both work. She consults and coaches on leadership internationally, and brings this same psychology into schools, families and organisations.
About Tamryn Batcheller-Adams
Tamryn is a psychologist with two master's degrees, and she's spent her career working right where psychology meets real life – with clinical patients, with parents, in schools, and with leaders across more than twenty countries. She's based in Cape Town, she's a registered Enneagram specialist, and she's a co-author of Mavericks: How Bold Leadership Changes the World.
What makes her perspective so unusual is how easily she moves between the theory and the lived reality of it. She'll explain the developmental psychology behind a framework and then, in the same breath, tell you about the morning she and her husband sat down to work out why their daughter kept dissolving into tears. She knows the research, but she parents in the same messy trenches as the rest of us, and she's generous enough to say so out loud.
She's also clear-eyed about schools, and unafraid to name the hard part: that building a place where every child feels known, not just seen, asks a lot of teachers who are already stretched thin. She holds both things at once - the ambition and the compassion.
Connect With Tamryn
🌐 tomorrowtodayglobal.com
💼 LinkedIn: Tamryn Batcheller-Adams
📖 Mavericks: How Bold Leadership Changes the World (co-author) – available here
Connect With Jude & Future Smart Parent
🌐 www.tomorrowtodayglobal.com/schools
📸 Instagram: @judefoulston
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/judefoulston
🫶 Community: Raising Tomorrow
Some conversations change the question you carry around with you, and this was one of them for me. If it shifted something for you too, share it with a parent or teacher who could use a gentler way of looking at a struggling child.
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I have a friend whose teenage daughter has a support dog. I've watched that dog quietly and consistently support a young person navigating a world that wasn't always built for her. And I'll be honest, I've probably rolled my eyes at the idea before. But then I saw it. And I thought, who's the one who should be rolling their eyes now?
That's really where this conversation begins, not with a research paper, but with a moment of honesty. And it's the perfect introduction to Laurelle Fry, who doesn't talk about dogs in schools the way you'd expect.
No grand claims. Just real stories - a boy who spent an entire school break playing with Frankie because he couldn't find his way into a friendship group. A child who jumped onto his chair in fear the first time Frankie walked in, and now runs over to say hello.
Laurelle is Head of Pre-Prep and Junior Prep at Western Province Prep School in Cape Town, and she's been bringing her rescue dog Frankie to school for years. But this conversation is really about what schools are for. Culture, belonging, regulation, and why the thing that helps a child feel safe enough to learn sometimes has four legs and a wagging tail.
She has a phrase she keeps coming back to, "home away from home." After this conversation, I couldn't stop thinking about what it actually takes to build.
"As soon as he's happy, then he wants to be at school. When he wants to be at school, he wants to learn. When he wants to learn, he feels confident because he's succeeding and things are happening. So it's got this snowball effect that just happens." - Laurelle Fry
Laurelle Fry comes from a family of educators, which probably explains why she talks about school the way she does, not as a place where curriculum gets delivered, but as a living community that children either feel part of or don't.
She spent 13 years at Bishop's before moving to Western Province Prep, where she's now Head of Pre-Prep and Junior Prep. She's spent most of her career in boys' education, and she brings to it an instinct for what children actually need, not just academically, but as small humans trying to find their feet in a big world. She talks about creating a "home away from home." You can tell she means it.
She is also, it must be said, completely besotted with Frankie. I follow her on Instagram, and I can confirm there is photographic evidence of Frankie being pushed in a pram. There was a very good reason. Torn ligaments. The boys loved pushing her around. Of course they did.
Connect With Laurelle FrySome conversations make you want to be a little more patient, a little more present. This is one of those. Know a parent or teacher who'd appreciate it? Send it their way.
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I'll be honest - I found today's guest because of a conference theme. And I know that sounds like a strange place to start, but when the theme is "Let's Meet Under the Tree," you just have to stop, don't you?
That's what happened when I came across the Embrace Symposium, happening at St Benedict's College in Johannesburg this month. And it led me straight to Tebogo Maneli - history teacher, DEIBS practitioner, and great podcast guest :)
This conversation goes deep... into Indigenous Knowledge Systems, what representation actually feels like (versus just understanding it intellectually), why language is one of the most powerful tools of connection we're currently underusing, and what it really means to raise children who know who they are.
In This Episode We Talk About"We don't know what we do not know. And this is where I think the tree metaphor lives - you didn't even know you were wounded before, right? Through experiencing her as a system, using her indigenous knowledge, you were changed. You were healed in a way that maybe you might not have been before." - Tebogo Maneli
Mentioned in This EpisodeThe Embrace Symposium 2026 Let's Meet Under the Tree: Using Indigenous Knowledge Systems and Pedagogy as Pathways to Social Healing in Education
📅 4–5 June 2026
📍 St Benedict's College, Johannesburg
This is not a sit-and-listen kind of event. It's practical, it's dialogic, and it's designed so that every delegate leaves with tools they can actually take back to their school community. If this conversation moved something in you, that's probably your sign to look it up.
🔗 St Benedict's College - Embrace Symposium
About Tebogo ManeliTebogo Maneli is an Upper School History teacher at Lebone II College of the Royal Bafokeng, based in Phukeng village, North West. With over 15 years of experience in education across South Africa and Mauritius, Tebogo holds a Bachelor of Education from the University of the Witwatersrand and is currently completing a Postgraduate Diploma in Inclusive Education through UNISA.
In 2023, her passion for diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging in schools was formalised at St Stithians Girls' College, where she became a DEIBS practitioner and went on to convene the DEIBS Cluster in Gauteng - bringing together transformation practitioners from private schools across the province. She has facilitated Teachers' Roundtables for the Apartheid Museum, presented on Girls' Education at St Mary's DSG, and spoken on innovative AI teaching strategies at the 2023 History National User Group Conference.
Tebogo describes herself not as a transformation practitioner, but as an educationalist - and once you hear this conversation, you'll understand exactly why that distinction matters.
Connect With TebogoIf this episode resonated with you, please share it with another parent or educator who needs to hear it. And if you haven't subscribed yet - now's a good time. We've got a lot more conversations like this one coming.
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In today’s episode, we dive into the exciting world of AI in education with global futurist Graeme Codrington and the team at Future Smart Teacher. Graeme shares valuable insights on how AI tools, particularly ChatGPT, can serve as powerful assistants in teaching, helping educators enhance their workflow, engage students in new ways, and save valuable time—all while preparing for a tech-driven future.
Key Takeaways:
Why You Should Listen: If you're an educator looking to harness the benefits of AI in a balanced, practical way, this episode will equip you with actionable insights to navigate this ever-evolving landscape confidently.
Resources Mentioned:
Join Future Smart Teacher Academy and Get:
For just R135 ($7.99) per teacher or R980 ($55) per month for schools, Future Smart Teacher Academy provides a resourceful platform where educators can grow professionally, reduce administrative tasks, and maintain a dynamic, future-ready learning environment.
Connect with Us:
Tune in, empower your teaching, and join us on this journey into the future of education.
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Episode Summary:
In this episode, Jude chats with music therapist Graeme Sacks about what music therapy is, how it encourages growth, self-expression and healing through music and how this might impact parents and their kids today!
Graeme challenges the notion that music should be something we add competition to, especially because of how that pressure can often lead children away from music and singing. Instead he says, we should be encouraging children and teens to be making music and singing regardless of how “good” or “bad” they are, because of the joy that music brings and the way that we can process our emotions through music in so many ways.
“Where communication is physically or psychologically disrupted, where words are not available, or distrusted, or too personal, music can help… Musical meetings can be life-changing.” - Gary Ansdell - music therapist and researcher
If you’re interested in learning more about what music or other arts-based therapy is all about and how it can be transformational for our kids visit www.sanata.org (South African National Arts Therapies Association).
Connect with Graeme:
Website: Graeme Sacks Music Therapy
Social Media: Facebook
Thank you so much for listening! This episode is brought to you by Future Smart Parent Club. Please like and subscribe to our community. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community:
Instagram | Newsletter signup | Facebook Group
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Episode Summary:
In this episode of the Future Smart Parent Podcast, Jude chats to Vanessa Raphaely, co-author of "We Were Perfect Parents Until We Had Children" and founder of The Village, a community of diverse, imperfect parents in South Africa.
Vanessa and Jude talk about the principles of The Village - community support, kindness, respect and constructiveness and chat about the ways in which parents from diverse backgrounds can come together to support each other in raising the next generation to be engaged, kind, courageous citizens. It’s a practical and relatable conversation, especially if you’re a parent trying to raise your family in your own perfectly imperfect way in our chaotic world. None of us are perfect, but when we show up and support each other, we also gift our children with support, optimism and resilience.
Connect with Vanessa and The Village:
Join The Village on Facebook
Follow The Village on Instagram
Sign up to receive their newsletter here
Buy a copy of “We Were Perfect Parents Until We Had Children” now:
Thank you so much for listening! This episode is sponsored by Future Smart Parent Club. We’d love to invite you to our community. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network. And don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss any future episodes.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community:
Instagram | Newsletter signup | Facebook Group
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In this episode Jude chats with Dr. Michael Mol about the invisible labour that oftens lands on the shoulders of moms. The fact that women are typically taking on more of the labour of childcare, organising the home and housekeeping, often in addition to their ‘actual’ jobs is a sad reality.
The burnout that so many moms experience should not be the norm. And so in this conversation Michael and Jude talk about practical things, backed by science, that we can do to care for ourselves.
There really are four simple pillars that ground this approach to self-care: eat, sleep, move and connect. Listen to the full episode to hear more detail about all of these areas for self-care.
And then you have to find your WHY? What is going to compel you to care for yourself?
Connect with Guest:
This episode is brought to you by Future Smart Parent Club.
Please like and subscribe to our community. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community here.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Helen Nicholson is the Founder and CEO of The Networking Company. She specialises in speaking and teaching people to develop powerful personal brands and networks all over the world. Her work in Mindful Resilience has helped thousands of individuals overcome burnout. She has also written a best selling book “Mindfulness: How to Stay Sane in an Insane World”.
In this episode, Helen and Jude discuss what mindfulness is and how parents can practice mindfulness in their every day lives. It’s not about waking up at 4am and meditating - it starts with becoming more present, more aware.
Helen shares some practical tips and tricks that she uses in her own life, which have helped her on her parenting journey.
Connect with Helen:
Website: helen-nicholson.com
Email: [email protected]
Social Media: @networkwithhelen
Thank you so much for listening!
This episode was brought to you by/sponsored by Future Smart Teacher - a monthly membership that empowers educators with cutting-edge AI tools, tutorials, resources and a growing community that will revolutionize the way educators can teach, plan, and manage their classrooms.
For more information, visit www.futuresmartteacher.com
Please like and subscribe to our community. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community:
Instagram | Newsletter signup | Facebook Group
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In this episode of the Future Smart Parent podcast, Jude chats with Tarryn who is the creator of a life-changing ADHD system designed for overwhelmed and frustrated parents who want smoother days, less chaos and to see their ADHD kids thrive.
Tarryn is an Occupational Therapist and a mom to a daughter with ADHD so is able to help through both her professional and personal experiences. This was a very insightful conversation!
Resources mentioned:
The Anxious Generation book by Jonathan Haidt.
Connect with Tarryn:
Website: Nurture ADHD
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: nurtureadhd
Get your free ADHD Routine Checklist here.
Read more about Quiet the Chaos program here.
Thank you so much for listening!
This episode was brought to you by the Future Smart Parent Club.
Get the Tools & Insights you need to Equip your Kids and Teens with the Essential Skills they need to Thrive both Now and in their Futures.
Join our community and get 21st Century Expert Parenting Advice, Practical tools to keep your kids Safer and Saner Online, Insights on the Future of Work, and Resources to help your kids & teens Develop 21st Century Skills & Community Support for just $7 (R135) a month.
For more information visit www.futuresmartparent.com/join-the-club.
Please like and subscribe to our community, and if you enjoyed the podcast, please consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network… because it takes a village.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community:
Instagram | Newsletter sign up | Facebook | Join the Future Smart Parent Club
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In this episode, Jude speaks with parenting coach, Lelia Schott, about engaging with our teenagers - a time often accompanieed with many emotions (from both teens and parents), boundaries being pushed, connection sometimes being tested, but also a time where our teens need these deep connections with both their peers, and their families - the family being the safe harbour that it provides through holding boundaries, while maintaining and working on deeper connects and relationships.
Lelia reminds us that a lot of the time this also includes connecting with ourselves and being aware of what we’re experiencing as parents..
What is my child feeling?
What are they needing?
What are they believing?
And then, what am I feeling?
What am I needing?
What am I believing?
And how can we connect…?
Lelia is a parenting coach whose work is all about helping people to reclaim (inner) child and parent wellbeing. As an empathetic listener and dedicated therapist, she loves working with people seeking a deeper connection to themselves and others.
Connect with Leila:
Website: Lelia Schott
Connect on Instagram: @leliaschott_synergyparenting
Thank you so much for listening!
This episode was sponsored by Tweenology. The best skincare for tweens - natural, locally made, smells amazing and makes our tweens skin feel soft and healthy and that isn’t too expensive! I mean what’s not to love - and you haven't even smelt it yet!
The team at Tweenology have a wide range of products, from face washes and creams, howzit star pimple patches which are just so cool, a choklit face mask and the most amazing ‘No Stress Magnesium Soak' which this FSP Mom uses just as much, if not even more, than my teen girl and tween boy does.
So, if you are looking for a natural skin care range that’s kind to your tween’s skin, effective in helping them keep their skin healthy and want the peace of mind knowing that there are no nasty ingredients being applied to your tweens gentle skin, go to www.tweenology.co.za/fsp to get 5% off your order...
Tweenology is 100% Future Smart Parent approved and recommended.
Please like and subscribe to our community. If you enjoyed the podcast, consider leaving a review and sharing the episode with your network.
Join the Future Smart Parent Community:
Instagram | Newsletter signup | Facebook Group | Join the Future Smart Parent Club
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