Gabe Rocks

I had the opportunity to share my weight loss story at the Blooming Sunflower Center In the last few years I’ve lost over 330lbs and gone from feeling entirely trapped in my body to being able to bike and rollerblade! It has been a radical shift in my day-to-day experience and has had a profound impact on how I see many things. I am very grateful to the hosts for the opportunity to add public speaking to the many skills I am working to develop during this process.

In this talk I tried to summarize and articulate both the deep and simple lessons learned the hard way. One of my primary goals throughout documenting this process hasn’t merely to show that I could change, but to humanize all stages of the process. From my vantage point now, I can certainly see how much harder that was than I had anticipated. There is no way I could have come this far without the guidance, encouragement, and support I’ve received from so many different places. For that I am immensely grateful, and feel I owe it to others to be as open and transparent as I can be.

What didn’t make this recording is that after the talk I had a very productive Q&A session with the guests. It was equal parts refreshing and instructive to be able to demystify the process while finding opportunities to refine my ability to communicate it. I certainly hope this isn’t my only speaking engagement on this topic, but either way I think it was a good start. I think now more than ever we need to focus on ways to help build each other up, and I’m excited to do my part.

With many challenges and setbacks from 2026 behind me, I could really use support for my many efforts moving forward.

Unrelated good news: Recovering from Technical debt

One of the things that has held me back this year has been the lack of having my PeerTube instance. I have successfully migrated the videos of the weight loss journey to my personal site, which was built the same way the Libre Solutions Network was. This means I’m very much looking forward to ‘soft-rebooting’ the project as I migrate those videos back. This is a bit of a ‘half-measure’ as I want to continue my work on my RSS reader and custom CMS projects.

As such, I’ll be very interested in doing interviews again about tech freedom as well as sharing some presentations. If you’re interested, please contact me or submit a guest post!

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Read on my website.

The last big weight milestone

I’m not done shedding pounds, but there likely won’t be another big round number to focus on. It was not that long ago I was thrilled to be below 500 Shortly after I went below 450 and was already remarkably mobile compared to the start. Mid last year I made it to being below 400 which was finally the point where I was really starting to see progress. As I got below 350 I was back into a familiar range, and was able to wear my old clothes again. The hard part was breaking through 300 and managing to push forward. Since then I’ve been enjoying throwing myself into rollerblading and getting back on my bike.

At this stage, I would have expected to have a clearer idea of where my target is, but it’s still quite blurry. I’m still working hard to reach 15% bodyfat which is the low end of the healthy range for men. But putting that to a precise number is hard when I have a fair amount of loose skin. Once I’m in the 230s I’m thinking of getting another dexa scan to confirm how close or far away I am at that point.I don’t anticipate needing to go far below 200 if at all with the way things are.

Now that I’ve made the best of Summer, I have a bit of work to do to prepare for a return to working on The Libre Solutions Network, as well as related blogs.I appreciate your patience and support in this challenging time.

This is where the fun begins

I’m overjoyed that I get to explore so many fun activities I’ve been missing out on. These activities really help motivate me to do more than just the ‘minimum’ in the gym. Taking rollerblading seriously has been all the incentive I need to really start taking leg day seriously. I’m very focused on single-leg mobility, as well as the finer aspects of balance. If that wasn’t motivating enough, I’m finally at the point where some of the muscle I’ve put on underneath is just slightly beginning to show. One of the harder aspects of this whole process is that the positive feedback lags so very far behind negative feedback. If you eat off-plan, the scale shoots up immediately. If you hurt yourself, it can be hard to start again. In my opinion, this is the real reason why starting and restarting feels so much harder than just continuing on.

The learning has only begun

While I still don’t have a firm weight target, my health journey has now expanded far beyond weight loss. From the beginning, I knew I needed to do more than just get the weight off, but actually build a foundation for living a healthy life. As soon as I could stand it, I learned to cook for myself and have been scouring the Internet for all the information I can find regarding fitness, health, & nutrition. Now that I’m physically capable, I’m very excited to learn to rollerblade well. Since I started biking around to do errands or go down trails, I’ve definitely fallen in love with outdoor cardio. Instead of dreading Winter, my other half is determined to get us active in the snow. She is really looking forward to teaching me to ski with her this Winter, and I’m excited to go skating to improve my skills on wheels and blades.

Rollerblading

While I love to just glide through the air, I know enough to know that practicing the basics can go a long way. I’ve committed to regularly doing beginner drills, but especially my stopping skills. For lots of people, the heel brake is sufficient, but I’m really trying to get good at the t-stop. The plan is to get as much practice of the basics as I can before the Winter, but I’m really looking forward to doing longer rides when it begins getting a little cool.

Some thoughts on rollerblading as a heavy guy

* Hard-boot skates are NOT OPTIONAL! (…learned that the hard way)

* Wear ALL safety gear! (Helmet, elbow/knee pads & wrist guards)

* Ankle and foot mobility are vital, I definitely recommend training off skates in addition to your practice sessions.

* Get lower than you think you should to help with balance.

* Safely practice falling on a mat to get used to the sensation as well as protecting yourself with your limbs rather than just falling flat on your back.

* Avoid loading up any backpacks heavily.

* Like a lot of exercise, it can be better to do a little bit more often than long journeys occasionally.

* You’re going to have to rotate/replace your wheels often, that’s just how it is sadly.

* It’s worth the wait to find well-paved surfaces/parks and go when conditions are nice.

* More skin exposed means the cooler you feel, but leave it vulnerable to scrapes

Cooking & Nutrition

Learning to make food has been a gratifying experience. Taking that on in addition to the weight loss has made food feel more of a tool than a threat. Back when I wrote Why can’t I stop eating? I could never imagine what it would be like to be where I’m at now. While food troubles are not entirely behind me, I regularly have days where I’m not worried about it at all. Not out of avoidance, but from finally building up routines and enduring trust. I’m finally at the point where I’m willing to do more than the very basics when it comes to cooking. I’m interested in more complex recipes and finally beginning to put the effort in more varied meals.

Now that cooking itself is no longer the major battle, I’m very interested in learning what I should be making. My first major step into the nutrition discussion was reading Food Politics. It was an excellent read that absolutely honed some of how I see the contentious health debates these days. I still need to read ‘Being Vegan’ thanks to a kind suggestion from someone, and I’m very interested in exploring the many different perspectives out there. I certainly don’t think carbs are the enemy, but I wonder about nutrient decline. At this point, I’ve only dipped my toe into what is a very lively and contentious space.

Disability Rights

I started this journey overwhelmed with frustration of constantly feeling useless and that I was a burden. I had sacrificed my health for a tiny bit of independence that faded exponentially as my health deteriorated. In that situation, having low-self worth feels like the least of your problems. Ironically, I am now convinced it may in fact be the real problem all along. In some ways, I am lucky that much of my condition was reversible. Not only did I not believe it was possible, but many others still doubt it can be done at all. For part of me, it is gut-wrenching to realize how radically transformative a bit of long-overdue compassion with myself has been.

People say the open contempt for overweight people is rooted in health. From my perspective I largely doubt it. As someone who has transformed radically in a fairly short period of time, I have a strong sense that it’s actually rooted in different things entirely. Firstly, I think there’s a naked hatred for a (perceived or actual) lack of utility. It’s genuinely hard to do basic things the more weight you pack on. What’s likely confusing to people is that someone’s mobility while overweight is not easily deducible. Some people at a particular build can still be quite mobile, while others are unable to move without significant pain or effort. It’s not always clear what’s underneath in a wide variety of ways.

Beyond that, I think a more insidious reason obese people can be openly ‘kicked when they’re down’ by people is because it is an overt sign of larger problems. For a while I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder over the fact that other addictions with less-obvious signs can be more socially acceptable. Having overcome that a bit, it seems like people hate that a visible sign things are not always okay is just out there. Given my own difficulties with facing my own pain, I can certainly sympathize. This is where I’ve come to learn that some aspects of the spectacle of weight loss can be toxic hope porn to distract from more fundamental issues.

A lot of this has a direct impact on other issues, but especially other disabilities. While I’m still new at this, I absolutely want to have a much better unders…

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Read on Gabe.Rocks

Over the course of my radical weight loss journey I’ve learned a lot. The most important lesson in my opinion has been developing an uncompromising growth mindset. It is clear to me that such a mindset is very applicable to things far beyond personal health. This is my attempt to generalize some of these lessons to the bigger picture.

The rational case for fear and apathy

It is completely understandable that people are overwhelmed (if not outright paralyzed) by the torrent of troubles in our time. These days, it certainly seems that anyone who cares deeply about any particular domain of our lives is sounding dire alarms. Everywhere one chooses to pay attention, there is an endless chorus of urgent calls to action. This exists both on the large and the small scale: from large structural problems like wars and financial havoc to localized hazards and shared personal difficulties. There is no shortage of crucial causes in much need of diligent and discerning effort. These days my pet priorities are focused around health and digital freedom, but these are certainly not the only areas where real work is needed.

Any one of us is just a mere individual.No matter how capable and equipped we may be, we have limits.What needs to be done feels incomprehensibly daunting and what we can accomplish often gives little comfort.What is the point of ’taking action’ if ultimately, the sum of my best efforts are guaranteed to fall short?

Much of these problems are driven by structures and systems that are far beyond any individual. It makes sense that people would simply join one or many movements aiming to improve things. Sadly, just as quickly as movements would rise to the challenge, they would inevitably become infested with the same rot that corrupts the institutions and structures they sought to reform or abolish. Over time, this transforms the most ambitious idealists into jaded cynics. You talk to any experienced activist and they’ll have endless stories about how a hot new trend is actually an old trap that has been sprung over and over.

What’s worse is that everything is so complex. Those deeply knowledgeable about particular topics are often incomprehensible to the general public. Expertise isolates and being comprehensible is an expensive commodity. The more one peers into any serious human endeavor, the more the game looks overtly and harshly rigged. It would certainly appear that our efforts are best placed merely trying to endure the storm and pray that it passes over us. When that doesn’t work we can always numb ourselves out from the pain.

I think what makes our times so difficult to endure is the inherent isolation baked into the structures driving the dysfunction: bureaucracy, algorithmic social media, and now artificial intelligence. This creates a profound sense of hopelessness, because if it’s up to us then it is already lost. The great news is that there actually are other great, kind, smart, and creative people out there. With a bit of patience and courage, a lot more can change than we think.

Contending with reality rather than conceding to it

One of the more difficult challenges in even beginning to wrestle with difficult problems is facing the situation plainly. We need to meet people, problems, and systems how they actually are, rather than where we would like them to be. We don’t have the luxury of ideal circumstances, Through history we have all inherited conditions not of our choosing that carry consequences we can’t fully comprehend. When it comes to addressing things that matter, the enemies of sanity are certainty, catharsis, and completeness.

It is absolutely important to be sure in your convictions, on its own there’s nothing wrong with that. Certainty without acknowledging our mental and emotional confines is a recipe for wearing intellectual blinders. Being open to positive and negative surprises is fundamental to meaningfully growing and changing. We can’t truly expect to make any meaningful improvements anywhere if we’ve already given up on improving ourselves. Learning and the capacity to adapt are non-negotiable in chaotic environments. Actual learning is more than just playing with ideas, it’s about being willing to put them to the test and make changes when necessary.

Some people have to ask themselves if they actually want change, or if they just want to feel something. Catharsis seduces the mind into endless distraction with fanciful pleasures. Both gazing at the abyss of horrific evil, and daydreaming of utopia can easily cause your sense of perspective to slip away without notice. Being aware of dangers and horrors is important, and so too is understanding what better outcomes look like. The problem isn’t about awareness, the real danger comes from letting our unexamined feelings drive our decisions. This opens us up to manipulation, because powers in high places certainly know how to pull people’s strings. A fine understanding of how you’re wound up can absolutely help from getting stuck in similar traps over and over.

All-or-nothing thinking feels very clean and elegant in the abstract, but leads to terrible results in reality. You can learn good things from bad people, and great people can make mistakes. Corrupt and failing institutions can still serve important functions, and even the most robust systems can have dangerous flaws. Reforms that are wholly insufficient may still be necessary. We have to be open to change not just in our own lives, but also in the world around us. Treating others (and ourselves) as beyond repair is just as foolish as presuming anyone’s perfection. Time is a huge part of the equation. Some things can’t be accomplished all at once, and require meticulous work over longer stretches.

Accepting that things are as they are is not the same as acceptance of those things. The point is to witness the problems, not endlessly wallow over them. Being capable of comprehending the issues is vitally important to meaningfully addressing them. That said, the line between constructively minding a problem as opposed to letting it set your reason ablaze is very fine. Even in the best of times the embers of grief need to be properly tended to, or we risk losing far more than just our minds. It is necessary to not succumb to the temptation of avoiding real problems. It can all be a lot worse than you can imagine, yet still not be hopeless.

Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist.Children already know that dragons exist.Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.

G.K. Chesterton

Rising to the occasion

This is not a command, but an invitation to consider just being too stubborn to give up. On some level, that’s all that’s required. Whatever your dream, cause, or ambition, facing every obstacle with a mindset of “this too, can be overcome” is the simplest distillation of the perspective required. But I’ve learned enough to ask for more. I don’t just want you to toil away endlessly against the darkness I want you to be joyful while doing it. It is clear to me that these dark times call for a radically different approach to the novel circumstances we face.

High standards with gentleness

Expecting more shouldn’t be about judgement, but about hope. Acknowledging where things fall short is necessary, but so is precise care. Being clear about where criticisms come from, while avoiding inflammatory harshness can make the difference between an honest conversation and an endless brawl. Clearly understanding our own goals and values are what allows us to properly articulate what is important when disagreements arise. Even when diverging goals are in play, there is often still room to find common benefit from something.

There is value in encouraging potential that is yet unrealized, but there does need to be a real path to actualizing it. Shortcomings in particular tactics and initiatives can make the effort a non-starter. On the other hand, that’s not the same as saying there’s nothing to be learned fr…

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There’s no real “finish line” on this whole building a healthy lifestyle thing, but I’m finally at the point where the immense amount of work put in feels worthwhile. I can now bike again, which feels incredible. After putting it off for some time I finally got my old bicycle (lots of sentimental value there) repaired. I spent many years very despairing that I would never ride again.

Major Milestone: 300lbs down

I’ve also lost the big 300 now. I started this journey over 576lbs and this morning I weighed in at 273.4 with my latest low last weekend being 270. Starting I didn’t know it was even possible, now I realize I couldn’t imagine what it would demand of me. I can personally attest that none of this is easy.

I’m still recovering from some challenging times, but I’m very much looking forward to sharing more moving forward. I’ve learned a lot in this process, and certainty have a great deal to share. I hope you enjoy this attempt to record some thoughts while being able to ride again. It is very good to be rolling.

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It has been a while since I’ve published one of these off-the-cuff walking monologues. In short, I’ve been worn down from the disappointment of continuing to reach higher, and feeling punished when minor injuries accumulate into feeling trapped again. Progress remains steady, but I still have a long way to go.

Biting off more than I can chew

When I think about what’s been troubling me lately a great deal of it boils down to trying to ‘fly too close to the sun’. This entire time I’ve been desperate to actually get moving, now that I’m capable of it I have a very difficult time holding myself back. Some of it’s pressure, some of it is struggling to sit with background frustrations and fears. Looking back, it’s no mystery, but in the moment I feel driven by a very unfamiliar set of compulsions.

Now that I can be much more active than I ever have been, I feel compelled to take it for all it’s worth. For this entire journey every advance has been met with a desire to push even harder. I have certainly hit my limits before, but the severity and damage was limited by my lack of overall capability. Now I feel like I can do significant and lasting damage when I’m not careful and I realize how careless pressure and frustration can make me.

I am still recovering from going ’too hard’ on a couple of rollerblading sessions that included some falls. It’s really not the physical injury that bothers me as much as the regret of not being able to keep going. Each day I’m not back to “100%” consumes me with guilt that is nearly impossible to dismiss without doing something active that only delays recovery. I know this is a problem, sadly I am currently at a loss of how to disentangle it.

It has been surprising, but never before in this journey has the temptation to outright quit been higher. In part I am very disappointed that getting this far hasn’t ‘fixed everything’. In my less optimistic moments I’m angered that I’ve been given a cruel taste of what I am still unable to do. This spirals into despair that I may never actually fix this. It has been made crystal clear to me how strong the negative feedback loop to regaining weight is, but it seems I’m unable to gracefully go the other direction.

It all feels so far above me. This process has taken far more out of me than what I expected. I have some new grey hairs to show for it. It is clear that I need to find the right balance or a new equilibrium will be forced on me. So much of my present despair has to do with the fact that it does feel like everything I’ve done to get to this point has more or less been for nothing. It’s possible that I’m just being greedy. I need to have the patience and gratitude to accept that this is just going to take more time than I would like. On the other hand, I worry that this process itself can break me.

Refueling & Recuperation

A pleasant shift is that I have discovered that the tactical use of carbohydrates can do wonders for mental clarity. In the past particularly demanding days would have me feeling significantly mentally exhausted on top of the physical exhaustion. With some success, I’ve been able to prevent that effect by properly fueling my body with some berries and fruits during difficult days. I’m definitely eager to learn more how how to precisely and efficiently use this to stay lucid despite trying to be more active. In the past I had noticed that doing a lot of exercise after a significant meal feels very good, my hope is that I can time things to take advantage of that.

On the mental side I’m doing what I can to take some of the pressure off. I’ve felt a great deal of frustration for not publishing more, especially because of some of the relevant big picture moves going on right now. I am trying to be patient with myself as I catch up, but it does get me down quite a bit. This feels like the point in the cycle where I have to rediscover inspiration again. I need to find positive reasons to press on and remind myself of where things can go from here.

I realize I need to rest reevaluate, and refocus my efforts. Lately I’ve been prioritizing sleep, which I think is making a positive impact. Sometime soon I hope to more concretely plan out a slightly different approach. If nothing else I need to figure out how to properly restrain my over-zealousness.

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I really appreciated the chance to have my solo debut on Geopolitics & Empire, which is one of my favorite podcasts that I’ve been listening to for many years. I’m thrilled to have had the chance to share my ‘big picture’ thoughts on the fine details of AI while raising awareness that we can take a different path. I hope you’ll enjoy it!

Full Interview:

Watch on BitChute / Brighteon / Rumble / YouTube

More links on Geopolitics & Empire's website

Is ‘Digital Immortality’ more than just a quirky futuristic idea?

I can’t unsee the pattern. It now appears to me that the entire purpose of advancing the idea of ‘digital immortality’ is to define away death. The implications on medical ethics and the consequences of equating our real lives with digital facsimiles can’t seem more dire.

I know it’s cringe to make comic book comparisons, but I think it’s fascinating to see how this idea has been well explored in the idea of “Brainiac” from Superman.

In the interview we talk about my recent piece We will come to regret our every use of AI.

My previous chat on G&E was with Mathew Crawford about the Future of Bitcoin.

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It really wasn’t that long ago that I even struggled with walking, but I am thrilled to share that I have gone rollerblading for the first time in a long time. A lot of great things are coming together this Spring and I am eager to make the best of it. Last week I made a new low of just a hair below 289. Lately I’ve been looking back at just how hard-won my newfound mobility is and reflecting on how different it feels to be able to glide again.

First roll

In truth, I was very anxious to begin rollerblading. I had become so used to everything being a painful and arduous challenge that I was expecting my first attempt to be a humiliating and frustrating experience. Once I got moving, I experienced the exact opposite. Things felt fluid and fun. In that moment it was so hard to believe that I was doing it. Actually having some momentum was a surreal and liberating experience. Feeling the wind against me as I pushed forward made me feel a concrete sense of accomplishment I truly haven’t allowed myself feel until now. It was very helpful that my twin brother sent me a tutorial video on how to avoid common beginner mistakes. I’ve still got a lot to learn but I’m very happy I’ve been able to skate around without any back pain. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate and I can become quite the skating fanatic.

New recipe! Cloud eggs

I’ve been trying to have more egg whites in general, but it’s been boring to only have them scrambled.

New Low

Lately I’ve been anxious about still not being very far from 300. To be blunt, I don’t quite yet trust that it’s fully behind me. I recently bought some XL shorts not expecting them to fit and to my surprise they did! Despite the scale going slowly it does seem that I’m progressing reasonably well.

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Reposted from Gabe.Rocks | Reply via Fediverse

Lately I’ve been wrestling with a quite familiar terror brought on by world events. With escalating wars and energy shocks I find myself reminded of the dark days of the covid years. Since then I have learned that the problem isn’t fear in difficult times, but being ruled by it. One of the most frustrating things to see is how during the chaos, people get taken advantage of by opportunists and institutions alike.

To address my emotional eating, I’ve had to take a deep look at what mental and emotional troubles drive me to seek comfort. As I’ve made progress, I’ve had to wrestle with a deeper understanding of my own fear-driven compulsions. On reflection, it is clear to me that these insights have broader applications beyond just health. I hope you appreciate listening to me try to figure this out.

Related

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It was an honor and pleasure to speak with V. N. Alexander on a wide variety of topics. I hope you’ll enjoy our conversation where we touch on the finer points of many ongoing changes in our digital experience. Learning from her vast knowledge and expertise has been a valuable experience. You’ll definitely benefit from exploring her works, which range from novels to educational courses.

This conversation was a thrilling opportunity for me to learn from her in-depth knowledge and precision about AI tools, online safety, and the fall of our institutions. We explore the opportunities and possibilities in taking part of the change to bring about a better digital future. By precisely understanding the deep differences between biological systems and machines we can make the best of the future.

Links discussed

* Naked Singularity

* The Posthumous Style

* Battle for your Brain

* Response: Is the Military Developing Mind Reading Tech?

* Pledge to America’s Youth: Investing in AI Education

* Catherine Knibbs work

* We are not machines Webinar - IPAK EDU

* Biosemiotics

* How Do We Escape the Panopticon?

* Platform Cooperative Book Publishing

Related:

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Samuel reached out to me to offer people free consultations to improve their digital experience. I took the opportunity to have a rich conversation with him about the finer points of privacy and overall digital autonomy in our time. It was a very welcome chance to connect over not just the perils of our age, but the actual opportunities to build a better digital experience.

This conversation was a helpful way for me to dig deep into some of the finer points of our current struggles to maintain digital autonomy in our time. We start off talking about how telling someone to “just use Linux” should be the start of a conversation, not a command. We talk about how your overall choices have an impact regardless of what particular product or system you chose.

This overlaps with many pressing questions like the end of support for Windows 10, as well as choosing ‘dumbphones’ over a smartphone. It’s not just what you use, but also how you use it. The importance of judicious use of social media is a great example. Yet, neither of us are purists, we believe that changes that ultimately isolate you from other people are wholly impractical for a better digital future.

What I hope you take away from our conversation is an invitation, no matter what your background is, to consider how you can use technology rather than have it use you. Privacy shouldn’t be about hiding, but about building trust and protecting real independence. Both Sam and I would encourage you to nurture a desire to steward a better digital future for yourself and others.

If you’re impressed by this conversation, you may want to consider bookmarking his website haveprivacynow.com which will eventually feature blog posts and a newsletter.

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