GameHounds

Exciting week here at GameHounds central.First, we have a multi-episode week. Not two days on the heels of the drunken debauchery of Episode 10, we bring you Episode 11: Menage a Trois.Why name it that? Well, that's the other good news: It's a three-man (or woman) episode. Hawkes and Edie are joined by George Ettinger, an old friend of ours who made his name in the gaming underground with his brilliant Flowers for Jack.This rather long-ish episode features some of the same topics from Episode 10, simply so Hawkes could weigh in, and a few new ones, including:

    
• We announce the winner of our dinosaur-sound contest, who nabbed for himself a copy of Turok. Congratulations to loyal listener Alex the Deadite.
    
• Hawkes and George get their chance to weigh in on Morgan Webb's appearance on the Tyra Banks show.
    
• Depsite the fact neither he nor anyone else in one in the UK media has apparently read the Byron Report on video games, Times of London columnist Giles Whittell sounded off about how video games are like "teenage pregnancy" and "heroin": They don't need to be understood to be hated. Lucky for us, so is ignorance.
    
• Hawkes has his own interesting theory about why Microsoft zeroed-out gamerscores of Xbox users, and it's pretty darned plausable.
    
• 50 Cent II defies logic on many levels and is set for release by Vivendi. Why does the ludicrous story make us want to play it?
    
• George, having been away from the podcasting world for some time, weighs in on a host of topics, including IGN vs. Game Informer, Two Worlds for PS3 cancelled, Army of Two, Smackdown vs. Raw 2008.
    
• Listener's Corner: We answer questions about our predictions for E3, our opinions on multiplayer coming to Grand Theft Auto IV.

Bon appetite!

This episode of GameHounds, Episode 10, comes with a disclaimer. GamerEdie and her guest co-host, Elaine from 360Arcadians Podcast, start drinking at the beginning of the episode. By the end, they had both consumed a vast quantity of alcohol and become complete tards. Well, not so much Elaine, but Edie gets sloppy and starts making no sense whatsoever.

When they do get on topics, here's what they slur their words about:

Achievement: Relocked! Cheaters , no appeals!

and needs to fucking sufficate on her own tits.

UK shrink issues report opining games so that parents can take better care in what games they give their children. And a Lord, you people need to suck it hard, now.

Sluring, rambling, more slurring.

and ? If true, it just shows how much more awesomist this game will be.

Another glass of wine poured. Badly.

and Grand Tourisimo 5 will have no mulitplayer upon release. Why are you even releasing it then? How stupid do we look?

? Does that really matter to you?

? Is this really a good idea?

Alcohol-induced amnesia and running off at the mouth commences.

Another rum-and-Coke consumed.

. Bad news for Phil. Worse news for two drunk people trying to pronounce "NASDAQ Stock Exchange."

Much more significant slurring of words and even less coherent rambles.

Feedback and comments appreciated. You know what to do.

Can you believe it? Two GameHounds Podcasts in one week?!?! What are you going to do with yourself?

I have an idea! How about curl up with a bowl of popcorn (or a six pack, your call) and have a listen to Edie and Hawkes' take on the week's gaming-industry news.

What news? How about this news:

Raigan Burns and Mare Sheppard, the developers of N+, told Gamasutra that.

, but apologizes with new replacement 360 signed by host of celebs, including Bill Gates.

It seems that Sumner Redstone's acquistion of Midway isn't exactly a success. Actually, it .

Actually, we prefer the phrase "complete, utter and total bullshit."

Rock Band to fix lots of issues and , which... well.. rocks!

In a double whammy of exclusive titles going south, Surfer Girl offers rumor that and .

and orders him to not contact the court directly again. If only it were that easy to get this guy to STFU.

UPDATE: . Yeah, we knew it was too good to be true.

This is your last week to send in your entries for the Dinosaur contest, in which you could win a copy of Turok for the XBox 360. Tick, tick, tick. Time's running out!

All this and more is just a mouseclick away. And, by the way, the embedded Flash Player on this post now works properly.

Don't forget to give us your feedback in comments on this post or, ever better, at the at .

Despite the best efforts of God, Murphy's Law and Comcast, GameHounds Episode 8: Hawkesless Tuesday is finally available for download.

As you may know, we had a rocky weekend, and thus we were unable to bring Hawkes along for the ride for this later-than-usual podcast.

Standing in for Hawkes at Edie's side this week is Thrillhouse17 of PSH Radio, another of the fine podcasts of Platform Nation.

Looks like we joined at the perfect time. Less than a week in the network and we were already whoring for fill-in hosts.

This week, Edie and Thrillhouse, who joined us from Italy discuss:

The San Jose Mercury News blog entry that questions why Super Smash Brothers Brawl merits a teen rating from the ESRB when its "crude humor" and "cartoon violence" is no worse than any Saturday morning kids' show. We have to agree.

Valve announces classic Atari games for Steam. We don't mean to sound like your bitchy ex-girlfriend, but what have you done for me lately?

Army of Two is region-locked. And not gay enough!

We'd believe China's claims they're trying to contain software piracy more if the Beijing Olympics website hadn't ripped off a bunch of flash games.

EB Games in Canada will let you return Haze after a week's play for a full refund. Who wants to run the border for cheap used copies? Anyone?

Minnesota cans mature video-game "tax" due to that pesky First Amendment. Stoopid amendment.

Europe gets a host of EU-exclusive Rock Band titles. Gratz... dammit.

ABBA drummer dies in weirdest way possible, but you cannot deny the power of the ABBA.

Win a copy of Turok for the XBox 360! How? Well just listen

Download at all the usual places.

We know you wanted longer than usual for this episode, but it was so worth the wait.On Episode 7 of GameHounds, Hawkes and Edie pile on topics, one after another. Hey, it was a big week in gaming, so let's not dilly-dally with the window dressing. On with the show!!Starting off, Hawkes fills us in (pun intended) on exactly what comes between him and his Calvin Kleins (Eighty's joke alert!)Then we hit on the tip-top topics of the last week, including:We

The , co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons. What can we say about this maverick that hasn't already been said. You might even call him the great-grandad of video games. We'll miss you, Gary.

and $100 million in venture capital funds for developers. Will the iPhone be the next major portable gaming console?

. No, no, a thousand times no.

. Yes, that's French for Atari.

Rockstar piddles itself in grief over . Makes you realize how they make GTA look easy.

Rumor: . In other news, poop stinks! Film at 11.

Rumor: . How do you kill that which already has no life?

Turning Point: Fall of Liberty isn't a bad game, you see. . UR Stopidz Gamrz, lawl.

. What won't you loony Brits do!?!

Plan for it at the end of the year on PC and six months later on 360. Seriously. I'd stake your entire Christmas on it. Really. Stop laughing.

. The guy who wrote the musical is tuning his piano as we speak.

We introduce a new feature: Pub Chatter. What will Hawkes and Edie be discussing with their inebriated friends?

All this and more is just a mouse click away. Go ahead. Touch my monkey.

This week, Cooper Hawkes and GamerEdie Sellers once again ponder the latest in gaming news.

Including:

Winner of last week's contest: FuNkYbOsS, whose expertise at constructing decidedly un-PC similies wins him a copy of Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga for the Wii!

!? You're kidding! Please, tell me you're kidding. Or maybe not.

. Face it, Sony, I guess he just wasn't that into you.

. Yeaaaahhh.... riiiiight. You can do that right after you .

GDC attendance hits record, next year.

! Wait, no. Men and women like video games. Your tax dollars at work, my friends.

. Can you feel the love tonight?

. Does that make us suspicious? Naaah.

Sony unveils a host of new hardware: , the, and the , now with more rumble... Which means some rumble.

On the heels of stupid game , even more stupid (note the uber-hip "z") brings you the best of racist stereotypes -- in Spanish! Little brown children everywhere rejoice.

Got a spare old-gen console lying around? .

. Why did you buy that XBox anyway?

Want a new HD-DVD add on for your X-Box? !

Enjoy, and remember, it's okay to make fun of Hispanic people if you do it en Espanol!

It's the Saturday after GDC and there's so much to discuss, we couldn't fit it all in one podcast.

It doesn't help that we go way off topic catching up with the GameHounds gang and making things up as we go along.

Off topic, we dish on what Edie saw at some of the GDC after-parties, what game Peter Molyneaux's 5-year-old plays, and we settle the age-old question: Does it matter of she swallows?

Let's just say, this is the most unsafe-sex episode we've ever done. We get the most out of our explicit tag this time.

More on topic, we discuss:

The winner of last week's contest. Listener Major Malfunction is the new owner of a Canada Games Hockey Night t-shirt for his guess about the infamous "unfortunate grooming choice." His answer was wrong, but we gotta give props for style points.

GDC Roundup, including lots of Fable 2 details, Ninja Gaiden and Spore Creatures for the DS, Street Fighter IV, Guitar Hero Moblie, the Zeemote, mind-controlled game controllers and impact vests, Fez, Crayon Physics, The Path, Super Smash Brothers Brawl, and many more.

? OMG! What a surprise!

. Lucas fanbois (like Hawkes) sigh relief as integrity of Indy ethos maintained.

isn't as good as singer as we thought! If he scores 95% on his own song, how do I have any hope of singing "Limelight"?

. Do you feel ripped off by the $60 title price?

And too much more to list in one place. You'll just have to listen.

In addition, another opportunity to enjoy some GameHounds swag. We open entries to win a copy of Lego Star Wars for the Wii. How, you ask? We'll you'll just have to listen and find out.

Enjoy. We did.

This special impromtu episode of GameHounds features Edie and Joe Chagan of SPOnG just mere hours after Microsoft's keynote address at the Game Developers' Conference on Wednesday. We discuss the impact of the keynote over a tasty lunch of spring rolls and quesadillas at Tilt Arcade at the in San Francisco.

We'd like to thank the folks at , the ultimate game lab, for providing us the space at their press luncheon so that we could record these immediate thoughts on Microsoft's announcements and the food and alcohol that fueled it.

Discussed are:

The extremely liberal expansion of XNA so that just about anyone with a good idea and the drive can make a game available on the XBox Live Marketplace for download. How will this affect the independent game developers? Will this mean that the Independent Game Developers Association will now include more console options? What wasn't said? Can Microsoft really let the reigns go and set developers free?

Ninja Gaiden II: How did we like the look and feel of the gameplay demo? What do we think about the "save points" that allow players to save videos of their play and then allow the top players to have them available for others? What questions are we left with?

Fable 2: Beyond being a Peter Molyneaux experience, which is all kinds of crazyfun, was the gameplay demo enough for us, considering we're supposed to see it this year? Do we think we actually will see it this year? What do we think of the Pub Games being available on XBox Live weeks before the game's release? What exactly does "multiplayer" mean? Were more questions raised than answered?

Gears of War 2: Was the announcement of a November 2008 release date enough to merit the super treatment it received during the keynote?

Unreal Engine improvements: How will this relate to complaints of poor support by other developers? Is it really what we wanted to see? How could this affect future games beyond GoW?

CliffyB's grooming secrets.

How many beers does it take to get a GameHound drunk by noon?

All this and more is contained within. Stay tuned for more off-the-cuff episodes from GDC.

GameHounds may not cause cancer, but it doesn't do much for your immune system.

This week Hawkes defies all odds and drags his feverish ass to the mic for installment 3 of GameHounds Podcast.

Listen as he hucks up a New Jersey-sized loogie. Rattle with him as he coughs, gasps and gags his way through the top stories of last week, while Edie speaks on at length about Canadian national food looking like puke in a basket.

In addition to catching up with the gang, we delve into news and listener questions.

after WalMart pulls the plug and Toshiba gives up. The PS3 doesn't look too bad now, does it?

. Is that a GDC announcement, or is Sony Mag smoking crack again?

. Hint: They issue your XBox 360 warranties, jackasses.

Listener Questions: Sea Puma asks about how we deal with XBox Live harassment. Major Malfunction wonders what's the best way to deal with networks fanning the flames of video-game controversy with erroneous information.

Shoutouts to our listeners who've been inspired by us to start their own gaming podcasts! You go!

And... last but not least (and not last in the podcast, by the way, win yourself a Canadian Games T-Shirt with the most creative answer to Edie's question. What question? Well, you'll just have to listen to find out.

As always, you can submit your questions, your thoughts, your dreams and your bile-infused hate male to . And don't forget to check out the to find out about the latest dirt Edie's dug up at GDC.

It finally is here!

Available for your listening pleasure and your gaming edification is GameHounds Podcast 2: The Mile High Club.

I apologize in advance for the weird hum. I didn't realize my iMic has a grounding disorder until after we recorded.

This episode was recorded Wednesday, February 13. So grab your loved one, cuddle up close, and spend your Valentine's Day warming your tootsies to the hotest gaming talk the net has to offer.

Topics tonight:

. First: huh? Second: There's a group!?!?

So it seems, is the PSP itself!

So how many times have you managed to complete Mass Effect? Well

Bungie swears that their next game is totally different. Ok then.

.

PS3 has an install option, and . WTF?!?!

. This could either be very cool or super lame.

As always, you can email us at with any feedback, suggestions, requests, cash, checks, and money orders.

Enjoy!