How can we reconcile our sexuality with Buddhist practice? 

(Recorded June 11, 1995)
Following on the heels of the AIDS crisis, in 1995 societal shame about LGBTQ sexuality was quite prevalent. Eric Kolvig emphasized that Buddhism is an ethical system focused on reducing suffering, not a moral system with judgments of good and evil. Arguing that repressing sexuality doesn't work, he challenges us to engage with it skillfully whether choosing celibacy, monogamy, or multiple partners.

Eric shares several insights from his own exploration of sexuality and spirituality:

• Meditation practice improves sex life by increasing presence and awareness.
• There's an important distinction between desire (which can be painful) and rapture (a delightful appreciation of beauty).
• It's crucial to distinguish between physical pleasure and emotional satisfaction in sex.
• Orgasm can provide a brief experience of non-self, similar to the goal of meditation.
• Ultimately, both sexuality and spiritual practice are about overcoming the pain of separation and experiencing union.

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Eric Kolvig, Ph.D. was a teacher in the Vipassana Buddhist tradition for 30 years, from 1985 through his retirement in 2015.

A gay man, he was one of the first teachers to foster queer sanghas, leading meditation retreats offering public talks around the United States and abroad.

Eric had a particular interest in “grassroots dharma,” building spiritual community in democratic, non-authoritarian ways, and he led retreats in the wilderness. He was one of the first teachers who was open about using Dharma to cope with severe mental illness.

He worked with many teachers but primarily with Joseph Goldstein and Sharon Salzberg in the lineage of Mahasi Sayadaw of Burma, and also with Richard Clarke in the Zen lineage of Roshi Philip Kapleau.

After retiring as a dharma teacher, he moved to rural New Hampshire to lead a contemplative lifestyle. After an illness, Eric died on July 2, 2024.

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If you are interested in more from this wise elder of the LGBTQ community, find links to additional resources available by Eric Kolvig, along with a complete transcript of this talk at:
https://gaybuddhist.org/podcast/gay-sexuality-and-buddhist-dharma-eric-kolvig/

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CREDITS
Audio Engineer: George Hubbard
Producer: Tom Bruein
Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter