Gen Ex

Do you know your Love Language? Do you have to match with people who speak your love language? What do you do when the person you’re into has a different love language than you? Andie and Duckie speak different love languages and together share their best tips for loving and communicating with partners. 

Show links 

The original book about the 5 Love Language

Understanding the 5 languages (in case you don’t want to do the book)

How to deal if you and your partner don’t speak the same language

Share your thoughts, questions, feedback, and dating frustrations: [email protected]

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What if you catch the feels for your Friend With Benefits (FWB) and want to turn them into a "real" relationship? Also: Andie thinks there's really no such thing as a FWB.

After a long-term relationship ends, some of us fear commitment. Divorce forever shatters the illusion of “til death do us part” so is fear of commitment simply a more realistic perspective on love and relationships or are we just wounded and suffering from commitment phobia? Is it possible to be in a committed relationship and still maintain autonomy and freedom? What even qualifies as is long-term, post-divorce? Andie and Duckie tackle their own commitment issues and explore the fact that post-divorce they’ve both gravitated towards relationship structures that are not strictly monogamous. Has this helped? Can ethically non-monogamous or monogamish relationships be considered commitments?

Show Links

WebMD’s definition of Commitment Phobia in case you think you have a real phobia!

Alternatives to Monogamy in case the idea of only being with one person freaks you out but you still find yourself wanting to develop beyond casually dating someone.

The quote Andie shared: “The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it’s not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person–without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.” – Osho (This guy was the founder of the Rajneesh Movement and was a problematic mystic with a lot of radical ideas BUT his thoughts about love are pretty cool.

What is Cuffing Season and why does it suck? Who do you bring to your office holiday party, especially if you're newly dating or poly? Andie and Duckie have thoughts.

Does your sex life and fantasies fall outside the normative ideas of vanilla sex? Where do you fall on the kink spectrum? Andie and Duckie spill the tea about kink compatibility and their own experiments in kinkville — from choking, to BDSM, to cuckolding, fetishes, water sports, age play, and more. The good news is that getting kinky the bedroom can have multiple benefits for your sex life, your relationships, and even your mental health outside the bedroom. If you haven’t had the opportunity to fully explore your kinks yet, there’s not better time to incorporate kinks into your dating life.

Show Links:

1 in 5 of Your Friends Is Getting Kinky — Should You Be Too? - Healthline

A to Z Kinks and Fetishes - The Bad Girls Bible

Kink Test - a quiz that helps you map out your own kinky side

7 Best Kink Dating Apps - Dating XP

Lorals oral for women without the skin-to-skin contact

Skyn Condoms - Andie + Duckie’s fav, but feel free to send samples of other condoms to change our minds ;-)

Do you give good text? Even if you hate texting, it’s a required skill to navigate today’s dating world because if you don’t have a good texting game, most matches will fizzle out. Andie and Duckie share their best tactics for flirting and building connections so you can get off your phone and go on actual dates! From decent opening lines to practicing your flirty to dirty sexting so you can take the conversation into salacious territory and keep the banter going between dates without seeming overeager.

Show Links:

Slutbot is free tool that lets you practice talking dirty over text with a chatbot.

Can you fall in love with someone via text? - Venngage

Understanding the dynamics of texting in relationships - Very Well Mind

Tinder’s Hot Takes - for a blind texting experience that lets you text before you match

Some people seem to be flooded with matches while other people get zilch. Are you one of those people who’s not getting enough attention? Andie and Duckie help you tune your dating profile like a pro! Get tips to make you super swipeable so that you are a hard YES for anyone lucky enough to see you in their feed. Which photos should you use in your dating profile? What should you write about yourself (and what to leave out) so that your dating profile catches the attention you want. Also: we review the dating app Open.

Show notes and links

Photo Dos and Don'ts

Text Dos and Don'ts

This week’s product review : Open Dating App

Helpful links:

6 Tips For Writing The Perfect Online Dating Profile - Huffpost

Instant Dealbreakers in Men's Dating Profiles  - Buzzfeed

7 Tips For Making Your Dating Profile Stand Out - AARP (cause you’re gonna need to be more eloquent when you’re working against gravity, hair loss, and all the other shit.)

How can you know if you're making good dating decisions? When should you trust your gut and when should you ignore it? After ending a long relationship you might wonder, should I still trust my instincts or are my feelings leading me astray? Anxiety and intuition often feel similar but they’re not the same. Andie and Duckie introduce their inner voices and decide which ones are worth actually listening to.

Show note links:

Anxiety or Intuition Quiz

Confirmation Bias the tendency to interpret new evidence as confirmation of one's existing beliefs or theories.

Rising Strong by Brene Browne - about bouncing back after bad stuff.

“Loving What Is” by Byron Katie about investigating our thoughts and endin cycles of negative narration about the world around us.

20 Best Podcasts About Sex Positivity Thanks for including GenEx Podcast in your list Pretty Progresssive! Sexy Exes, tell us if you think we deserve to be on this list by subscribing to GenEx podcast :-D

Dating after a long term relationship is hard enough but when your ex lives just a few blocks away in a small town, it can feel almost impossible. As sexy exs living in major cities, Andie and Duckie are dating on easy mode so we’ve invited Duckie’s friend “Allison” to spill the tea on being single in the suburbs. The rules are different when you live where everyone knows everyone — from navigating a smaller dating pool, to dealing with slut-shaming, and trying to get your groove on when your ex lives a few blocks away.

Show note links:

Match dating platform

Places to meet singles in the suburbs

Meeting a date in real life can be nerve-racking. Especially after being cooped up during a pandemic. Who pays on the first date? Are there rules for a first date anymore? Should you kiss or even fuck on the first date? How can you show up as your best self right from the start? Andie and Duckie dish about first date disasters and share their best tip for fucking awesome first dates: where to go, what to talk about, how to put your date at ease, and how to enjoy yourself! 

Show note links:

Lorals - Oral without the skin-to-skin contact

Viagra - Talk to your doctor AND your date before taking

Trauma Bonding - LOL! What NOT to do!

36 Deep Questions - (Ask one or two but don’t interrogate your date!)