Learning to Dance with Your Shadow with guest, The Shadow Coach, Donna Karlin

On this episode of Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix, Elix will have his good friend and colleague, Donna Karlin, The Shadow Coach®, back on the show!⁠ ⁠ Donna is a true stand-out in the field of coaching and her programs are in demand across the globe. Witty, wise, bold, and brilliant, Donna's no-nonsense style is 100% contagious!⁠ ⁠ We'll be talking all about our shadows: our fears, insecurities, and hidden talents — all personality traits that we choose to reject and repress. Plus, we'll learn how to break through the limitations of the shadow.

“If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.” –Coach Elix

Your thoughts create stories, which lead to overarching personal narratives, ultimately creating limiting scripts about what you can and cannot do. On this episode, learn what scripts may be limiting you, how your mind may be using scripts to latch onto comfort zones, and how to shift your scripts and replace them with a positive and empowering personal narrative.

Timestamps: 

[02:01] Life updates

[09:08] Your doubting inner voice when you are making life changes

[14:30] Why you need to fact-check your inner voice

[17:37] Call-in from Miss K: being aware of your scripts

[24:38] How you might sometimes wear your negative thoughts as a badge of honor 

[28:43] How scripts give you an “out”

[32:10] Between breakdowns and breakthroughs 

[38:55] How and why scripts become automatic (and how to shift your script)  

4 Key Takeaways: 

As you evolve, you need to fact-check what the voice inside your head tells you about yourself. You have to ask yourself: "is this story in my head serving me or limiting you?"

Examples of limiting scripts you may be using to define yourself are: "I have to be perfect," "I’m too young/old," "my life is harder than anyone else’s," and "I’m just not that type of person."

Scripts can provide you with an "out" of opportunities that you actually want to pursue. You can feel your fears, you just have to make sure not to feed your fears. Having an insight into what you’re going through gives you a choice to hold on to what is limiting you or letting it go.

To shift your script, you have to complete your old scripts. One way to do that is to write a letter to yourself saying everything you need to say to put an end to the old script. After writing the letter, you can burn it—it can be quite cathartic to do so.

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Are you aware of the masks you put on?⁠ ⁠ Not the disposable face masks we've been wearing for over a year now. I'm talking about emotional masks.⁠ ⁠ These are the masks we hide behind because of fear.⁠ ⁠ 🎭 If we feel insecure, we might hide behind the mask of name-dropping.⁠ ⁠ 🎭 If we are unsure of our power, we can hide behind the mask of being a bully.⁠ ⁠ 🎭 If we don’t think the world loves us, we can hide behind a mask of anger.⁠ ⁠ 🎭 We mask the debt we’ve incurred to pay for lifestyles we can’t afford.⁠ ⁠ One of the most common reasons we wear these masks is imposter syndrome — the fear that the world is going to find us out.⁠ ⁠ We weren’t born with masks.⁠ We put them on, so we can take them off.⁠ ⁠ On this episode of Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix, Steven and Elix talk all about the masks we wear as humans, how to recognize them, and why it's so important to commit to taking them off.⁠

If you’re hooked on being right, this episode is for you. Throughout the show, Coach Elix explains the neuroscience behind the human desire to be right and where this need originates from. He shares 6 signs that you may be addicted to being right, and provides coaching on how to manage that addiction.

Timestamps: 

[01:50] Why Halloween is so exciting for Steven, Elix’s mom’s 96th birthday, and more life updates

[12:23] Episode overview: are you addicted to being right? 

[20:19] Why you should want to manage your addiction to rightness

[23:43] Why do we feel good when we are right?

[31:29] The next time you find yourself wanting to be right, ask yourself THIS question

[39:20] Why you want your body to produce less dopamine and more oxytocin 

[46:14] 6 signs that you have an addiction to being right

[49:22] Managing the addiction of being right

5 Key Takeaways: 

Being right is not wrong. Being right is perfectly ok. What is wrong is being addicted to being right, regardless of the context. When you feel powerfully right, you lack the perspective to connect with others and be open to their point of view. 

The most damaging response is oftentimes the most common response because of our primitive brain’s fight, flee, protect, defend, response. This prevents honest and productive sharing of information. Our brain responds to wanting to be right. 

When you have that urge to be right, ask yourself: what is this costing you? Is it costing you happiness, fulfillment, or joy? Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

Your desire to be right originates from something in your past. It is a learned trait and it can be unlearned.

Some signs that you have an addiction to being right are: getting amped up about an opinion or point of view, telling someone how to do something, and interpreting or diagnosing other people’s thoughts or behaviors. 

Book recommendations: 

The Three Laws of Performance: Rewriting the Future of Your Organization and Your Life

https://www.amazon.com/Three-Laws-Performance-Rewriting-Organization/dp/111804312X 

Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results 

https://www.amazon.ca/Conversational-Intelligence-Leaders-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1937134679

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Blind spots…⁠ Your brain on autopilot.⁠ ⁠ Experts tell us that our unconscious mind makes a majority of our decisions. It creates blind spots—unconscious biases that can narrow our vision and potentially influence our behaviors.⁠ ⁠ Are you letting blind spots steer your decision making? It’s time to take control.⁠

On today's episode, it’s the one year anniversary of Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix on WARA 1320AM! An entire year's worth of shows full of content about creating breakthroughs and transforming lives — YOUR lives.⁠ ⁠ Today, we'll be taking a look back, and celebrating with a few special guests and lots of surprises!

In this episode, Coach Elix and Steven discuss how to stop giving regret too much space in your life. Regret is inevitable. You will not stop experiencing it. But, you know what you can do? Recognize it when it creeps up and reframe the toxic narrative it tries to infect your life with. 

This episode will give you an introduction to the art of letting go of regret and help you take away power from the "woulda, coulda, shoulda" voice in your head. 

Timestamps: 

[02:00] Life updates!

[09:06] Why does regret feel so heavy? 

[15:26] Is regret necessarily a bad feeling? 

[16:33] Suffering is optional.

[20:01] The common regrets most people have. 

[25:17] Why do we feel regret? 

[28:37] Why is it so hard to let go of regret? 

[33:30] How do you stop thinking of "what ifs"? 

[40:12] Practical ways to let go of regrets.

4 Key Takeaways: 

We feel more intensely towards the things we didn’t do rather than the things we did do. However, holding on to the narratives behind our regrets is a choice. Suffering because of regrets is optional.

We have regrets because we compare our choices to an ideal: what we think we should be, what we think we should have done, etc. We have an idea in our minds of what could have been. It is an invented narrative. 

When we believe we’ve made a mistake, we feel like our identity has been attacked. However, it is impossible for your actions to always be aligned with your ideal self — simply because life happens!

Regret is disempowering. The past is done. Focus on what matters NOW. Hit the pause button when the regret narrative creeps up on you. Interrupt the narrative. Embrace the different parts of who you are. Recognize that you will always fall into the pattern of "disappointing" the ideal version of yourself. 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com

We all think we are great listeners. But, are we really? Listening is a forgotten skill. One we often take for granted. If you are committed to being an extraordinary partner or friend, listening is perhaps one of the greatest tools at your disposal.

Listen today to learn exactly what it means to listen to CONNECT rather than merely to understand. 

Timestamps: 

[02:00] Life updates!

[04:30] Today’s topic: what great listeners actually do.

[05:42] You cannot be listening well without doing this. 

[08:39] Listening from the lens of objection and judgment vs. listening from the lens of connecting (Simone Biles example).

[15:23] What does it take to truly be able to listen well to your partner? 

[17:47] What does it mean to listen to connect? 

[20:41] An example of bad listening skills from the TV show Golden Girls.

[25:50] We assume that we know how to listen, but do we? 

[30:44] 3 actionable ways to be a better listener ("double-clicking" and more). 

[39:00] Why are emotionally intelligent people better listeners? 

[47:08] Your assignment for next time you speak to ANYONE.

4 Key Takeaways: 

Emotional intelligence helps you become a better listener and more aware of your biases. It allows you to practice self-awareness and know how to regulate it.  Self-awareness allows you to be present and thus be an effective listener.

When you listen to someone, immerse yourself enough into what the other person’s world is like. Ask yourself: what is this person hoping I will get out of talking to them? 

Listening builds trust. When judgment creeps up when you are hearing someone speak, replace those thoughts with thinking “what is this person feeling?” “what are the real drivers behind this person’s emotions?” 

When interacting with someone, try to understand the purpose behind the conversation. This way, you prime yourself for connection. Listening is doing whatever you need to do to get into the other person’s world.

Book: Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results by Judith E. Glaser: https://www.amazon.com/Conversational-Intelligence-Leaders-Extraordinary-Results/dp/1937134679

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Give Grace to Yourself (Not Just Others) with guest, Kathy Gaalaas

Digital Strategist, Kathy Gaalaas, joins Coach Elix to discuss how to manage tough situations with grace. Not just by being graceful to other people — but, more importantly, by being graceful to YOURSELF. We often forget about ourselves when we think about grace, but we deserve to treat ourselves with kindness. 

Listen today to learn how to be gracious with yourself and not impose too many responsibilities on yourself. 

Kathy Gaalaas is a coach and digital strategist that helps artists, musicians, and small business owners perfect and grow their digital presence. 

Timestamps: 

[02:25] A story about Steven that he wouldn’t want me to tell!

[06:30] The most common definition of grace. 

[09:04] Why did Kathy choose to work with artists and musicians? 

[12:11] How Prince influenced the name of her business. 

[16:57] What does grace mean to YOU?

[19:00] Why is it hard to be gracious to yourself? 

[24:00] Why do you always feel like you are not doing enough (and how to break out of that). 

[28:14] How can we define responsibility in a healthy way (without guilt)? 

[35:24] How do you thank yourself when no one is thanking you? 

[39:43] Actions you can take today to be more gracious with yourself.

[48:15] Rapid fire round with Kathy.

5 Key Takeaways: 

Your business can only be sustainable if you actually enjoy what you are spending your time doing. 

It is much easier for us to be gracious with others than it is to be gracious with ourselves. Here are a few things you can do to be more gracious with yourself: Look in your life for someone who made a difference in your life and call them randomly to thank them. Write down 3 things that are unique to you that you add to the world (e.g., I make people laugh). Pick one day every month to dedicate to yourself. 

You might feel like there is always more to do, and there probably is. However, you have to accept moments for what they are and knowing that this moment will pass. Take a breath and center yourself. Ask yourself: "Do I need to react right now or do I need to listen or do I need to observe?"

When you think of responsibility, don’t start with blaming yourself or being on the defensive. Step back and ask yourself where you can make the biggest difference and sometimes the best way you can make a difference is by taking care of yourself. 

Give yourself kudos and know that what you are doing for yourself matters. 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

“If it’s comfortable, it doesn’t change you.”

Without feeling grateful for what you have, it's almost impossible to live a fulfilled life. But, do you take things for granted without noticing? In this episode, Coach Elix and Steven the Medium discuss how you can live a beautiful and fulfilled life just by being present in the moment. 

In this episode you will learn:

Why you take things for granted

How to stop taking things for granted

Practical exercises to train yourself to be present in every moment

Timestamps: 

[02:00] Life updates!

[06:32] Here is why you may be taking things for granted. 

[10:00] What does it mean to be present? 

[12:53] 2 questions for you to help you determine if you are present in your life. 

[14:53] What are the kinds of things that most people take for granted? 

[16:58] How to remember what actually matters. 

[22:13] The only thing you can do to STOP taking things for granted (and how your life loses balance).

[29:00] A practical exercise to train you to stay present in ANY situation (7 day exercise). 

[39:53] 4 things you can do everyday to stay present every moment. 

[43:52] Why you should commit to being present. 

4 Key Takeaways: 

When you don’t stay present in the moment life passes you by. It becomes really easy to take things for granted. We have a tendency, as humans, to assume that tomorrow is guaranteed. The reality is that it really is not. When you are present in the moment, you create an opening for things that you desire to happen. 

You are most likely to take for granted the steady things in your life. Examples can include your health and family. These things seem permanent, but they aren't. We know this on an intellectual level. 

If you are living in the present, you will be living a balance. You will be moving with the mothership. Not being present is what upsets the balance in your life. 

Getting to the present is like climbing a mountain. The top is the present, so think of it is a journey. You need tools to help you climb. One tool is the 7 day exercise (29:00). Another tool is establishing a daily gratitude practice. 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com