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Title: The Butcher, the Baker, the Candlestick Maker
Subtitle: An Erotic Memoir
Author: Suzanne Portnoy
Narrator: Suzanne Portnoy
Format: Unabridged
Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
Language: English
Release date: 03-13-07
Publisher: Virgin Books Limited
Ratings: 3 of 5 out of 47 votes
Genres: Erotica & Sexuality, Fiction
Publisher's Summary:
"At 29 I got married to live the life of the perfect wife with the gorgeous children. I did that for 10 years, the last four of which I was completely celibate. Then I went online and everything changed."
After a love affair with a man 3,000 miles away, whom she met online, Suzanne Portnoy, mother of two and a top executive in the entertainment industry, begins her sexual reawakening. Embarking on a sensational and prolific series of liaisons, Suzanne beds a top London chef, who cooks her a 5-star meal on the day her husband moves out. An affair with a famous men's magazine editor quickly ensues, followed by a top cameraman who takes pictures of Suzanne naked. But that's just the beginning.
Insatiable, Suzanne dives into the swinging scene and works her way through an entire spectrum of sexual experience, including exhibitionism, group sex, fetish clubs, and a predilection for picking up men during her lunch hour.
The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker is a story that is shocking and heart-warming in equal measure. Freed from the restraints of marriage and monogamy, Suzanne takes pleasure without commitment and tells her story without a trace of shame. She's not looking for Prince Charming anymore; she's looking for fun. And she finds it.
For Adults Only: Explicit language. Must be 18 years of age to purchase.
Critic Reviews:
"Gritty and explicit." (The Observer)
"Eye-poppingly unambiguous prose." (Esquire)
"Intelligently written and brutally honest." (Metro)
Members Reviews:
Predictable Porn
My first listen in the erotic romance category...not impressed. Memoirs told from a female perspective focusing on how many, how big. I was looking for something with more romance, emotion, feelings. Occassionally titillating, but after a few stories, nothing but boring. Will pass on this author and narrator in the future. Found the narration to be distracting - 1/2 American accent, 1/4 British, 1/4 weird.
Erotica Read By Human Robot
This was unintentionally funny, because the narrator was simply out of her depth in reading an explicit memoir like this. Picture that recorded voice that welcomes you to the mall when you're given your ticket. Picture the recorded voice in the airport that tells you which zones are for loading and unloading. Now imagine that voice reading a dirty memoir. I don't know about you, but I laughed my ass off for the first ten minutes until i realized two things: the entire memoir will sound like this, and the sinking knowledge that I had wasted yet another precious credit...DAMN!!
Don't Waste Your Time
This is about as erotic as a protology exam. I could only get about halfway through. I've given it a single star because there is no rating lower. The author has a good command of the language, but the story is sad and depresing.
Good start, but got too repetitive
I gave this book a chance because I wanted to read something erotic. The first half of the book was great, but after that it seemed to get too repetitive. It's like she kept doing the same things over and over. I mean, how many different ways are there of having sex? I suppose if you judge the book on sexual content alone, it was great, but the plot could have been a bit better. There was not enough depth to the characters.