Get Messy with Maddie

What if your ego isn't the villain you've been told it is? In this mini episode, I'm offering a reframe I got from my friend Sasha Feldman (actor-turned-therapist and a past Get Messy guest): the ego isn't something to defeat, it's more like a toddler — scared, overwhelmed, and desperately needing someone to hold it together, not shame it into submission.

I get into what it actually looks like when the "toddler" shows up — that defensive, reactive flare when something feels threatening or small — and why the goal isn't to eliminate that reaction, but to bring in "the adult": the part of you that can witness the reaction without being consumed by it. I also connect this to the window of tolerance, a concept from my grad school work, and why creatives specifically are constantly in situations designed to trigger the ego.

This one's a short but powerful reframe for anyone who's been trying to "kill" their ego instead of learning how to hold it.

In This Episode:

• Why the ego isn't the enemy — it's more like a scared toddler
• Where this reframe came from: a conversation with Sasha Feldman
• What it looks like when the "toddler" flares up (and how to notice it)
• The role of "the adult" — holding the reaction instead of being run by it
• The window of tolerance, and why the toddler blows you right out of it
• Why creatives are constantly in ego-triggering situations
• Hold the toddler, let the adult lead
• 
  

RESOURCES:

• Get Messy episode with Sasha Feldman
• 
  

✨Connect with Maddie✨

Explore Maddie’s Website | @messywithmaddie

Sam Valentine is back on Get Messy, and this conversation is a masterclass in staying sane inside an industry that runs on manufactured urgency and radio silence. Sam — actor, podcaster (Working Actor Life, formerly One Broke Actress and Not According to Plan), and co-founder of Fast Forward Productions — gets into the "ASAP" culture of auditions and bookings, why there's no real feedback loop in this business, and how she's learned to build her own instead.

We talk about burning your mental timeline, why "I need to have this by 25" is a story worth interrogating, and how curating your social feed is actually a career strategy, not just a mental health one. Sam shares her "compliments folder" — a running archive of proof she pulls from when her brain starts mining for negativity — and we get into the deeper theme of the episode: why making your own work isn't settling, it's often the most vulnerable and valuable thing you can do for your career.

This one is funny, honest, and full of hard-won wisdom for anyone who's tired of pretending this business isn't as unpredictable as it actually is.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Manufactured Urgency and the "ASAP" Culture of Auditions
• Why There's No Real Feedback Loop in Acting (and How to Build Your Own)
• Burning Your Mental Timeline and Questioning Every "Should"
• Curating Social Media as a Career Strategy
• The Compliments Folder: Building Your Own Proof of Progress
• Podcasting From a Kitchen Table to Building a Business
• Making Your Own Work: Vulnerability, Ownership, and Why It's Not Settling
• Letting Go of Superiority Around "Traditional" Success

✨Connect with Sam Valentine ✨

Instagram:@samvalentine

Podcast: Working Actor Life

Podcast: One Broke Actress

Sam’s Patreon

The Membership Waitlist

Sam’s Amazon Store

✨Connect with Maddie ✨

Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie

We're a little more than halfway through the year, and if 2026 hasn't looked the way you thought it would either — you're in the right place. This episode is my honest mid-year check-in: bookings and money haven't been flowing the way they have in past years, but connection, community, and confidence have been some of the richest I've experienced. Both things are true at the same time, and I think that's worth saying out loud.

I'm sharing the five things I've had to remind myself of to keep moving through the back half of the year — from holding onto possibility even in a slow season, to "climbing cringe mountain," to why I'm more afraid of staying where I am than of where I'm headed. I also get into the decision to go to grad school, the identity tug-of-war that came with it, and why zooming in to a day-by-day focus has been the thing that's kept me grounded through all of this year's curveballs.

If your year has felt like a series of pivots instead of the plan you had in January, this one's for you.

In This Episode:

• An honest mid-year update on bookings, money, and where things actually stand
• Why a slow season and a rich season can coexist
• Point 1: Hang onto possibility, always
• Point 2: Keep climbing cringe mountain
• Point 3: Be more afraid of staying where you are than of where you're headed
• The decision to go to grad school, and the identity tug-of-war that came with it
• Point 4: You're always going to wish you started earlier — so start now
• Point 5: Adopting a day-by-day focus when the big picture feels like too much
• My word of the year: "go big, baby"

RESOURCES:

• My mindset coach, Amy Austin

✨Connect with Maddie✨

Explore Maddie’s Website | @messywithmaddie

I've moved six times in six years — LA to Virginia Beach to Miami to Virginia Beach to Miami to Virginia Beach, and now Kansas City — and through all of it, my voiceover career has kept growing. So today I'm talking about something I've learned the hard way: your zip code does not define your success.

I get into the hardest move I ever made — leaving LA — and a conversation I had with another actress who was torn up over whether to leave the city too, because so much of her identity was tied to living there. I unpack why that grief is real and worth honoring, but also why the old "move to LA or New York or you're not serious" belief just isn't true anymore, especially in voiceover. I talk about how the industry has shifted, why geography matters so much less than it used to, and why some of my best career years have happened since I left.

This one's for anyone who feels like where they live is capping what they can build, or who's afraid that leaving a place will mean losing a part of themselves.

In This Episode:

• Why I left LA, and the identity grief that came with it
• A conversation with a friend on the fence about leaving LA for family
• How the industry shifted — from in-person auditions to self-tapes to fully remote work
• Why geography used to matter so much more, and why it doesn't anymore
• What I've gained since leaving LA: community, opportunity, and some of my best career years
• Zip code as lifestyle, not ceiling — the difference between the two
• Why you have to start with where you'll thrive as a whole person, not just as a creative
• Settling into Kansas City and what it's taught me about resilience

✨Connect with Maddie✨

Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie

Money is one of those topics everyone's curious about but few people actually talk about — and in part 2 with Olivia Sarafina Washington, that's exactly what we dig into. We get real about the financial rollercoaster of building a voice-over career: the highs of hitting six figures, the lows of not making SAG health insurance minimums, and everything in between.

Olivia opens up about what it was like to have her life change overnight after booking a major campaign, why she thought the money would last forever, and the hard lessons that came with not being financially or emotionally prepared for that level of abundance. We talk about money as an energetic and emotional experience, not just a practical one — the anxiety of being seen as "the money machine" among friends, the nervous system response to sudden wealth, and what it actually takes to learn to trust yourself with money.

We also get tactical: what equipment investments are actually necessary when starting out in VO (spoiler — it's a lot less than people think), when to invest in things like Source Connect, and why the slow seasons might be exactly what your creativity needs.

This episode is for anyone who's ever felt weird talking about money, or who needs a reminder that financial ups and downs don't mean you're doing something wrong.

Key Topics Discussed:

• The Emotional Side of Money in a Creative Career
• Financial Highs, Lows, and Learning to Ride the Wave
• Nervous System Regulation and Sudden Wealth
• Money Education, Family Patterns, and Breaking Old Habits
• Equipment Investments: What You Actually Need to Start in VO
• When to Invest in Source Connect, Better Mics, and Booths
• Why Slow Seasons Spark Creativity and New Opportunities
• The Power of Financial Community and Talking Openly About Money

RESOURCES:

• Listen to Get Messy: Finding Your Voice Over Path | Olivia Sarafina Washington on Audition Strategies, Industry Challenges, and Building a VO Community
• Listen to Get Messy: Voice-Over Sessions: Red & Green Flags with Reps, Casting Director Workshops, and How to Go into Your Next V.O. Session with Confidence
• Stephanie Zenos — money/finance coach
• Stephanie’s Xenos Podcast - Money Musings

✨Connect with Olivia Sarafina Washington ✨

Instagram: @oliviasarafina

Listen to Pink Pod Podcast

✨Connect with Maddie ✨

Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie

Sometimes the destination isn't visible — and that's actually okay. In this mini episode, I'm talking about something called the "cone of clarity": the idea that when you're driving through fog, you can't see the whole road, but you can always see just enough right in front of you to keep moving forward.

I get into why waiting for the full roadmap to be illuminated before you start taking action is a trap — because wherever you're headed, you've never been there before, so it's never going to be fully lit up ahead of time. Clarity doesn't come before movement. It comes from it. Every step you take is what reveals the next one.

This one's short, but it's a reminder I come back to often, especially on the days when I want certainty before I'm willing to move.

In This Episode:

• The "cone of clarity" concept — and how it applies to building a creative career
• Why certainty never comes first, no matter how badly we want it to
• The difference between waiting for the full path to be illuminated vs. trusting the next small step
• Why action is what actually provides the information to keep moving forward
• A reminder for anyone who's been standing still, waiting to feel "ready"

RESOURCES:

• My mindset coach, Amy Austin

✨ Connect with Maddie ✨

• *Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie*

Today I'm doing something a little different — I'm going back to an article I wrote for Medium in 2021 called "Seven Things to Give Up If You Want to Have a Healthier Mindset," and asking the question: does it still hold up five years later? What did I know then, and what have I actually had to learn the hard way since?

I go through all seven — trusting your first thought, absolutes, disempowering people, timelines, over-compromising, wanting to look smart, and constantly pushing through — and I'm sharing what still rings true, what I'd reframe now, and the real-life lessons (some of them humbling) that I've picked up in the years since I first wrote this. This one's a little bit of time travel and a lot of honest reflection on what mindset work actually looks like when you're living it instead of just writing about it.

In This Episode:

• Revisiting my 2021 Medium article, five years later

• Give up trusting your first thought — and why I still challenge mine every time

• Give up absolutes — and the nuance I've learned since

• Give up engaging with people who disempower you (and what to do when you can't just "lose their number")

• Give up living on a timeline — why I'm tattooing this one on my brain

• Give up compromising too much — and the deeper work of knowing my own values

• Give up wanting to look smart — lessons from grad school and my acting class days

• Give up constantly pushing through — rest vs. avoidance, and how to tell the difference

• Why mindset work isn't something you learn once — it's something you keep re-learning at new levels

RESOURCES:

• My original 2021 Medium article: "Seven Things to Give Up If You Want to Have a Healthier Mindset"

• My mindset coach, Amy Austin

✨ Connect with Maddie ✨

**Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie**

Sometimes the most helpful advice comes from the most unexpected place — for me this week, it's my astrology app. In this mini mindset episode, I unpack a message that stopped me in my tracks: "quit being mean to yourself," and what it actually means to stay on your own side, even when the pendulum between confidence and self-doubt is swinging fast.

I get into the difference between passive self-kindness and active self-advocacy, sharing a conversation I had with a young actress who was spiraling in her career, plus a mindset lesson from interior designer Gailey Alex on ruthless optimism and handling rejection like it's everyone else's loss. I close out with my own daily rituals for staying connected to myself — from morning activations to protecting my creative hours.

This one's for anyone caught in that whiplash between "I've got this" and "wait, do I actually?"

In This Episode:

• The Chani astrology app message that started it all
• Why being mean to myself has never once created growth
• The difference between not being mean to yourself and actively staying on your own side
• A conversation I had with a struggling young actress about belief and permission
• Gailey Alex's "ruthless optimism" and reframing rejection ("gluten can't tolerate me")
• Why the relationship with yourself is the most important one you'll ever have
• My morning rituals for priming my brain and staying on my own side
• Protecting creative energy, curating your scroll, and prioritizing connection

RESOURCES:

• Chani astrology app
• Trading Secrets Podcast — Gailey Alex
• The Activations app

✨ Connect with Maddie ✨

**Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie**

It’s always so refreshing to talk about the voice-over world with my peers, and I get to do just that with the lovely Olivia Sarafina Washington, who I am so excited to welcome back to Get Messy!

We cover some frequently asked questions, including: red and green flags with reps, and how to get them, the true value in casting director workshops, and some tricks and tips on how we show up to our voice-over sessions feeling confident and ready to work.

Olivia is always so much fun to talk with and truly provides so much incredible insight in this episode — stay tuned for part 2 where we get into all things money: how to manage it, how to work on your mindset so that you’re ready for it when the opportunity comes, and investments that we’ve made to give back to ourselves and our career.

This episode is for anyone who has had burning questions about the voice-over world or is ready to level up in their voice-over career!

Key Topics Discussed:

• Getting Started & Representation
• In-Person vs. Remote Auditioning
• The Craft of Voice Acting
• Business Side of V.O.
• Classes & Coaching
• Authenticity in Auditions

RESOURCES:

• Listen to Get Messy: Finding Your Voice Over Path | Olivia Sarafina Washington on Audition Strategies, Industry Challenges, and Building a VO Community
• Listen to Get Messy: Tracy Lindley Talks VO Strategies, Marketing, and Family Balance
• Listen to Get Messy: How to Actually Make It as a Multi-Hyphenate Artist (Without Waiting for Permission) with Taylor Meskimen
• Listen to Get Messy: I Almost Quit Acting… | Experiencing Burnout, Therapy, and Creative Revival

✨Connect with Olivia Sarafina Washington✨

Instagram: @oliviasarafina

Listen to Pink Pod Podcast

✨Connect with Maddie✨

Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie

I need you to stay with me for a second — because I'm about to tell you that a business book accidentally explained why therapy works.

A dear friend gifted me Building A StoryBrand by Donald Miller, and as I started doing the assignments, something clicked.

Here's the core idea: we all want to be the hero of our own story. And therapy? Therapy is one of the only spaces in your life that is entirely built around that. No shared spotlight. No performing. No managing anyone else's feelings. Just you, your obstacles, your goals, and a guide helping you take action toward the life you actually want.

We also get into survival vs. thriving, what your nervous system is actually trying to do for you, and why understanding that difference might be the thing that's been standing between you and the version of yourself you're trying to reach.

TIMESTAMPS:

[0:00] — A business book accidentally explained why therapy works
[0:37] — Welcome to Get Messy
[0:55] — The core idea: we all want to be the hero of our own story
[1:01] — Why businesses get their messaging wrong — and what it means for you
[1:26] — Therapy as the only one-sided relationship in your life
[1:57] — Addressing obstacles, goals, and devising a plan
[3:23] — The exit signs analogy — survival before thriving
[4:25] — Why your nervous system might be the obstacle standing in your way
[4:27] — Therapy as a way of finding your exit signs
[5:27] — Unpacking the why behind your goals
[6:05] — Real examples: audition rituals, letting go of control, creative careers
[6:31] — The hero's journey has defeats, pivots, and wrong turns — and that's okay
[6:41] — Therapy puts you in the hero role — the therapist is simply the guide
[7:37] — Why this book clicked for me — and why therapy works
[8:34] — I'm rooting for you today and always

TOPICS COVERED

• Why Building A StoryBrand accidentally explained therapy
• The hero vs. the guide — and why you need to know which one you are
• Therapy as the only truly one-sided relationship in your life (and why that's a good thing)
• Survival mode vs. thriving — and why your body prioritizes one over the other
• The exit signs analogy and what it means for your nervous system
• Why being a faulty hero is still being a hero
• The hero's journey has defeats, pivots, and wrong turns — and that's the point

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Building a StoryBrand by Donald Miller

✨ Connect with Maddie ✨

Explore Maddie's Website | @messywithmaddie