Get Your Energy Back

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What if your exhaustion, fear, grief, and self-doubt don’t mean you’re failing?

What if nothing has gone wrong?

In this deeply personal episode, Shelby shares the story of grieving her son while he serves a church mission in South Korea, a divine moment at the water that reminded her she is never forgotten by God, and the surprising fears many women carry around visibility, success, expansion, and becoming fully themselves.

This episode explores:

• The nervous system's fear of expansion
• Why success can subconsciously feel unsafe
• The connection between confidence and charity
• The hidden grief underneath people pleasing and perfectionism
• How shame keeps women small
• Why your desire for more may actually be holy
• The difference between surviving and truly being alive
• How to use “What if?” as a tool for healing instead of fear

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, disconnected, stuck in self-doubt, or afraid to fully step into your gifts, this episode is for you.

Maybe your life is not falling apart.

Maybe it’s unfolding.

Want more Shelby in your life?

***JOIN US FOR THE FIRST EVER ALIVE RETREAT***

APPLY FOR COACHING

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So many women think they’re exhausted because they’re overwhelmed, burned out, or dealing with nervous system dysregulation.

But there’s another huge energy drain hiding in plain sight: indecision.

When you sit on the fence—constantly weighing options, worrying about getting it wrong, or waiting for certainty—you end up leaking enormous amounts of energy.

In this episode, I share a raw reflection on how simply making a committed decision can unlock energy, clarity, and momentum in your life.

We also talk about:

• Why indecision keeps your nervous system stuck
• The power of recognizing that you always have choice
• How outcome independence frees you from fear
• Why you don’t need to “heal everything” before moving forward
• The simple question to ask yourself: What decision am I avoiding that’s costing me energy?

When you step into a decided identity—even before you see the results—your energy has somewhere to go.

And that’s when life starts to move again.

Talk to Shelby here: https://calendly.com/shelbykhansen/45min

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I’m back on the podcast after a season of big life transitions, deep inner work, and a whole lot of growth. Today I’m sharing what’s changed, what I’ve learned, and why this next chapter is going to be the most grounded, powerful, and aligned version of me yet.

In today’s episode, you’ll hear:

• Why transitions often feel like you’re “doing it wrong”
 • How survival mode steals your energy (and why you’re not actually out of it)
 • What collapse, fight/flight, and flow really feel like in your nervous system
 • Why your vision is already inside you—long before you see evidence
 • How I healed chronic pain and rebuilt my life through vision, identity, and safety
 • What’s shifting in the podcast and how I’m bringing you with me

If you’ve felt stuck, tired, discouraged, or disconnected from your sense of possibility, this episode will help you remember who you’re becoming—and what’s already available inside of you.

Want help unlocking your vision?

Come to my free workshop: Lovability & Your Vision
• Tuesday, January 20 at 12:00 pm ET
• Friday, January 23 at 1:00 pm ET
Sign up here

Ready to work together?

 Book a free Life Assessment Call and let’s find the version of you who’s waiting to be lived into. Book HERE.

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Let’s be real.
I used to hold onto things way longer than I needed to—commitments, beliefs, expectations—just because I felt like I had to follow through. Like I wasn’t allowed to change my mind without being flaky, selfish, or weak.

But what I’ve learned through my own healing (and in coaching so many women) is this:

Changing your mind is not failure. It’s freedom.

In this episode, I’m sharing the nervous-system-informed truth about what makes it feel so hard to pivot, say no, or let go—and how to create safety in your body so that you can stop forcing it and start living in alignment.

You’ll learn:

• Why your nervous system resists change (even when you want it)
• How to tell when a pattern no longer fits—even if it once kept you safe
• What fawning, hypervigilance, rest guilt, and perfectionism have in common
• Why “I’m allowed to change my mind” is one of the most healing thoughts you can practice
• Gentle ways to start honoring your truth without shame or fear

If you’ve ever felt stuck in something that used to make sense but doesn’t anymore, this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air.

Let’s give you the permission slip you’ve been waiting for.

🎧 Listen in and let me know what resonates most.
 And if this feels like your next chapter, book your free Fatigue Recovery Call and let’s talk about what’s no longer working—and what could.

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In today’s episode, I break down why confidence doesn’t come after you get the results you want—it comes before.

 I teach you how to build true, identity-based confidence even if you’re tired, unsure, or stuck in perfectionism. This is the same process I use with my coaching clients to help them show up with clarity and power, long before everything looks perfect on the outside.

You’ll hear real stories from women who stopped waiting to feel ready and started becoming the version of themselves they’d been longing for. And I’ll walk you through how to do the same using thought work, nervous system safety, and small, intentional shifts.

If you’ve been telling yourself, “I’ll feel confident when…”—this episode is for you.

I talk about:

• Why achievement-based confidence keeps you stuck
• How identity-based confidence builds momentum and energy
• The role of nervous system safety in confidence
• Real-life stories from my clients (and me!)
• 5 powerful tools you can start using today

Ready to stop waiting to feel confident and start becoming the woman you want to be?

 Let’s go.

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I know I’m not the only one who’s ever heard the phrase “fear not” and thought… okay, but how??

In today’s episode, I’m sharing the real reason why this verse used to feel like pressure instead of peace—and what finally helped me understand what God actually means when He says, “fear not.”

I take you back to one of the hardest seasons of my life, when I was in kidney failure and completely overwhelmed, and I show you how my relationship with fear (and faith) changed forever.

You’ll hear how fear is not a failure—it’s a nervous system response. And once you understand that, everything shifts.

In this episode, I walk you through:

• Why you still feel afraid, even when you know God is with you
• What your fear responses (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) are trying to protect
• How to gently work with your nervous system instead of judging yourself
• Why “fear not” is a promise—not a performance
• The exact tools I teach my clients to help their bodies feel safe enough to receive peace

This is the episode I wish someone had given me when I was trying to force my way through fear instead of learning how to soften and be held.

If your body still feels stuck in fear—even when your heart wants to trust—this one’s for you.

▶️ Listen now and let’s walk through fear together—side by side, with love and grace.

Book my limited space Fatigue Recovery Calls to find out what's stealing your energy and how to get it back. Book here

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Ever have one of those days where you feel like everything you do is wrong and you just want to disappear? That’s not a failure—it’s a shame spiral.

In this powerful episode, I share a deeply personal story of coaching in front of a group and instantly spiraling into shame. I walk you through how shame shows up in your nervous system, what it does to your thoughts and body, and—most importantly—how to move through it with compassion, safety, and clarity.

You’ll learn:

• The real difference between shame and guilt
• Why shame feels so true in the moment (but isn’t)
• Simple nervous system tools to exit the spiral
• How to use ladder thoughts like and that’s okay to disarm self-criticism
• Why making a PB&J can actually be a sacred act of healing

This episode is for anyone who feels like they’re failing, falling behind, or just can’t get it together right now. Nothing has gone wrong. You’re not broken. You’re just in a shame moment—and there’s a way through.

Ready to heal your relationship with yourself? Book your free consult at https://calendly.com/shelbykhansen/45min

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If you've ever felt like your energy disappears just when things are starting to get good in your life, this episode is for you. I’ll show you why the dip isn’t a setback—it’s a sacred part of your healing rhythm.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why contraction is built into your biology (and your healing)
• How to stop fighting fatigue and start listening to it
• Simple tools to move through dips without shame or fear

Quotes to remember:

“Your contraction isn’t a problem—it’s a rhythm.”
“Healing doesn’t happen in hustle. It happens in stillness.”

Resources + Links:

• Book your free Fatigue Recovery Call

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Are you curious about coaching but not sure if it’s the right time—or the right fit?

This episode is for you.

If you’ve ever wondered:

• What actually happens in a coaching session
• Whether your life is “bad enough” to need help
• How to tell if you're ready to commit to change
• Or if coaching can really help you feel more energy, peace, and confidence...

…you’re going to leave this episode with so much clarity.

I break down what coaching is (and what it isn’t), who it’s for, and what it feels like to work with me. You’ll hear about the real work we do—yes, it’s mindset shifts and nervous system regulation, but it’s also tears, laughter, breakthroughs, and practical steps forward.

We’ll also explore how to stop waiting for “the right time” and instead ask better questions that move you toward the life you want.

If you're on the fence, stuck in indecision, or just curious—this is your starting point.

🔗 Ready to explore coaching for yourself? Book a free call here.

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Do you ever feel like no matter how much you do, it’s never enough? Like you're running on empty but still pushing through?

In this powerful episode, I share my story of living under the weight of hustle culture: the constant pressure to achieve, perform, support everyone else, and never complain. I talk about what that looked like as a young mom, a military spouse, and a woman trying to do everything right — until my body forced me to stop.

This isn’t just a story about burnout. It’s a story about waking up.

If you’ve been exhausted, overwhelmed, or secretly wondering if this is just what life has to be — this episode is for you.

What You’ll Hear:

• The invisible rules women live by in hustle culture
• My story of over-functioning, burnout, and medical crisis
• Why rest felt dangerous and how I learned to embrace it
• What I gave up to get my life back — and what I’ve gained in return
• A new way of living that honors your body, energy, and peace

Resources Mentioned:

• Book a Fatigue Recovery Call
• Learn more about coaching: shelbykhansen.com