Getting Back Up Podcast: Finding Life After Death

(00:00:00) Cold Open: "Can You Come Get Us?"

(00:00:34) They Need Us Differently, Not Less

(00:09:08) The Party Call

(00:17:14) Letting Go: When Not to Fix It

(00:24:30) Advice or Space?

(00:30:28) How Our Late Wives Would Parent

(00:35:47) Letting Go Without Checking Out

(00:40:50) Boundaries Are Care

(00:42:41) Building an Adult Life

(00:47:29) What Our Kids Learn From Us

(00:50:51) Listening Without Solving

(00:54:39) Takeaways

(00:56:21) Your Turn: Your Aha Moment

Episode 54: Our Kids Are Growing Up. Are We Ready?

There was a time when our kids needed us for everything. Now they're making their own decisions, developing their own opinions, and occasionally reminding us that they know more than we do. At least, that's what they think.

In this episode of Getting Back Up, Jamal and David talk about the changing role of fatherhood as their children grow into teenagers and young adults. From learning when to offer advice and when to step back, to navigating independence, dating, relationships, and the realities of blended families, they explore what it means to remain present without holding on too tightly.

They also reflect on something parents don't always acknowledge: as our children grow into their own lives, ours are changing too. How do we balance being devoted fathers with building relationships, pursuing our own interests, and creating a fulfilling future?

Because raising children isn't about making sure they'll always need us. It's about preparing them to live their own lives, while remembering we still have lives to live, too.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:Grenada, "Treasure"McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

(00:00:00) Cold Open: Do I Still Have It?

(00:00:31) Dating in Our 50s

(00:04:20) Why This Conversation, Why Now

(00:06:29) David: From Casual to Exclusive

(00:16:14) Jamal: What Dating Taught Me

(00:30:01) Divorce Is Loss Too

(00:40:57) What I Had to Unlearn

(00:47:54) What Surprised Us

(00:58:20) What Actually Helps

(01:03:27) The Life We're Choosing

(01:05:23) Your Turn: What Do You Wish You Knew?

Episode 53: Dating at This Age

Dating in your 50s is a whole different experience. The apps, the expectations, the awkward first dates, and the realization that neither person is starting with a blank slate. You're bringing years of experiences, relationships, families, routines, and a much clearer idea of what you want. At least, that's the hope.

In this episode of Getting Back Up, Jamal and David get candid about dating and finding love again later in life. David shares his experience navigating a new relationship and what it means to move from casual dating toward commitment, while Jamal reflects on the lessons he learned dating again before remarrying. They explore the humor, surprises, and challenges of building relationships when both people have lived full lives before meeting each other.

From balancing independence with intimacy to understanding a partner's past without comparing it to your own, this conversation isn't just for widowers. It's for anyone navigating dating after divorce, loss, or simply starting a new chapter.

We're not starting over. We're starting with experience.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:Grenada, "Treasure"McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Episode 52: The Home We Left Behind

What's something in your home that stayed exactly where your spouse left it? A pair of shoes. Clothes in the closet. A favorite chair. A photograph. And why can moving something so small feel like letting go of something so much bigger?

In this episode of Getting Back Up, Jamal and David explore the emotional challenges of changing your home after losing a spouse. They reflect on the belongings and spaces that hold memories, the guilt that can accompany making changes, and the complicated decisions that arise when children, family members, or new relationships become part of the conversation.

From clearing closets to redecorating, renovating, or eventually moving, they discuss how to honor the life you shared while making room for the life that continues. Because changing your home doesn't mean erasing your marriage or the memories you created there.

The home can honor the life you shared and still make room for the life you're living now.

Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 51: When You're No Longer part of THAT coupleFor years, you were part of a couple. Dinner parties, weddings, vacations, holidays, and friendships were built around we and us. Then you lose your spouse, and suddenly you're showing up alone. The invitations may still come. The friendships may still be there. But something feels different. Where do you fit now?In this episode of Getting Back Up, Jamal and David explore how losing a wife changes more than your relationship status. It changes your social identity, friendships, confidence, and sense of belonging. They share their experiences navigating couples gatherings, walking into familiar rooms alone, and discovering that some friendships change while others grow stronger.They also talk about the unexpected freedom of building new connections, learning to enjoy yourself without guilt, and why you don't have to wait for another relationship to reclaim your social life.You don't need to find your old place at the table. Sometimes, you have to create a new one.Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 50: What Happened When We Put Widowers in a Room Together | Widower ResetWhat happens when you put a group of widowers in a room and give them permission to stop being strong for a weekend?Jamal and David created the Widower Reset because 49 episodes of conversations about grief and life after loss had made one thing clear: men needed more than a podcast. They needed a place to be honest, vulnerable, understood, and connected without having to explain what it means to lose a wife.In this 50th episode of Getting Back Up, they reflect on what actually happened when the first Widower Reset brought men together. From the first dinner to the conversations that went far deeper than expected, they talk about grief, friendship, vulnerability, dating, rebuilding life after loss, and the unexpected power of simply being around people who understand.They also share what surprised them, what they would change, and the biggest lessons they took home.The Reset wasn't about fixing grief. It was about discovering that you don't have to carry it alone.The next Widower Reset is planned for March. Stay connected with Getting Back Up for details.Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 49: Dad, I Need to Talk to MomSometimes there are moments in raising children when you can almost hear the words: “I really wish Mom was here for this.” For a widowed father, those moments can be especially difficult—because sometimes your child needs the parent who isn't there, and you have to figure out how to show up anyway.In this deeply personal episode, Jamal and David talk about the conversations that can leave a father feeling completely out of his depth. From puberty, relationships, and growing into adulthood to mental health, identity, and the complicated questions that come with growing up, they explore what happens when your children bring you something they might naturally have taken to Mom.They talk about the pressure fathers can feel to fill the space their wives left behind, the difference between listening and trying to fix everything, and the importance of building a trusted village around your children. Because you can't become the parent your child lost. But you can remain the parent who's still here—present, available, honest enough to say “I don't know,” and willing to find someone who does.Don't disappear because you're uncomfortable. Show up.Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 48: Nobody Knows What to Do With the Empty ChairWhen your spouse dies, your family doesn't simply become the same family minus one person. The entire family changes.In this episode, Jamal and David explore the roles their wives occupied that became even more visible after they were gone. Mother. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Family connector. Tradition keeper. The person who remembered the birthdays, managed certain conversations with the kids, maintained relationships, or simply brought a presence to the family that no one else could replicate.They talk about the pressure widowers can feel to fill every role, the people who unexpectedly step forward to help, and the traditions and relationships that inevitably change after loss. Most importantly, they confront a difficult truth: you can't replace the person who sat in that empty chair—and you don't have to. The work is learning how to care for the family that's still here while honoring the space of the person who isn't."Maybe the goal isn't filling the empty chair. Maybe the chair stays empty, but everybody around it learns a new way of being together."
Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 47: The Signs You’re Healing (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)Healing after loss rarely announces itself. There’s usually no big breakthrough or morning when you wake up and suddenly feel “better.” More often, it shows up quietly—in the first laugh that doesn’t bring guilt, making plans months into the future, sleeping a little better, enjoying time with your kids, or realizing grief wasn’t the first thing on your mind that morning.In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on the small, sometimes overlooked signs that showed them life was beginning to return. They talk about the temptation to measure healing by whether you still hurt, why difficult days don’t erase progress, and how easy it is to miss how far you’ve come when you’re focused on what’s still missing. Healing doesn’t mean the grief disappears. Sometimes it simply means your life has slowly started expanding around it.“What if healing isn’t the absence of grief? What if it’s the return of life?”Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live.

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music:
Grenada, "Treasure"
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 46: The Man I Never Expected to BecomeLoss changes us. That's unavoidable. But every so often, if we're paying attention, we realize grief hasn't only taken something away—it has quietly shaped us into someone we never expected to become.In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on how life after loss has transformed them as fathers, husbands, leaders, friends, and men. From becoming more emotionally available and intentional, to discovering new purpose through Getting Back Up, therapy, service, and supporting other widowers, they explore the unexpected ways grief has refined their character. They also acknowledge the tension that comes with growth—the guilt of moving forward, the fear of leaving your old identity behind, and the realization that becoming stronger doesn't mean you've loved your spouse any less.Together, they challenge listeners to ask a different question. Instead of focusing only on "What have I lost?" they invite us to consider "Who am I becoming?" Because healing isn't about becoming the person you were before loss. It's about discovering the person you're capable of becoming because of it.Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real.

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live. 

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson 
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music: 
Grenada, "Treasure" 
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.com

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson 
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music: 
Grenada, "Treasure" 
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Send us Fan MailEpisode 45: The Lasts We Never Saw Coming
Some of the hardest moments after losing a spouse aren't the anniversaries we prepare for. They're the milestones we never realized would become "lasts."
In this episode, Jamal and David reflect on the quiet grief that can surface as children grow up and life keeps moving forward. An eighth-grade graduation. A final middle school concert. A birthday. A driver's license. A family vacation. Moments filled with pride and celebration that are suddenly accompanied by the realization that someone who should have been there is missing.Together, they explore why grief often resurfaces during life's happiest occasions, how joy and sadness can coexist without competing, and why acknowledging your spouse's absence doesn't diminish the celebration—it deepens the love that continues to shape your family. Because every milestone is more than a reminder of what's been lost. It's also a reminder of the life and love that still live on.Getting Back Up: Finding Life After Death is a podcast that explores the raw, unfiltered reality of surviving profound personal loss—and finding a way forward.  The idea for the podcast was born after David and Jamal met in 2023. Both widowers, who had lost their wives to cancer, quickly found a deep connection through multiple conversations about pain, perseverance, and parenthood. They realized that while men often bond over music, sports, or TV, they rarely speak candidly about loss or emotional recovery. Getting Back Up was created to change that narrative—blending the everyday with the existential in a format that’s as relatable as it is real. 

Getting knocked down is part of life. Getting back up is how we live. 

Hosts: David McClain & Jamal Jones
Executive Director: Marlon Jackson 
Editing: Marlon Jackson
Music: 
Grenada, "Treasure" 
McDonald, Otis, "Phife for Life", otismusic.comThank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast

Thank you for listening! Follow us on Instagram/TikTok @getbackuppodcast and on X @GBUpodcast