GillHB & Friends

Have you ever come across someone you've never actually met but know you are just going to get on?

That's what happened when I found Louise via her Instagram account as she and her husband were, and still are, transforming a paddock into a kitchen garden (with chickens) and knew we'd get on really well. There's no fancy reels or pretending to act out a scene just Lou telling it as it is - definitley my kind of account these days and luckily there's quite a few!

Watching what she and her husband Matthew were creating I had too many questions to ask her on IG about how they came to move to Cornwall, leased this piece of land and the transformation process.

I reached out and asked if she'd like to a podcast. A what? - was her reply.

I get to ask her a lot of my questions in this episode about The Paddock and how come she's always collecting golf balls??

We laugh and chat about all the trials and tribulations they have already faced from folding poly tunnels, potato rat, rabbits, deer, hurricane winds, now blight and how she is basically feeding the wildlife in the local area!

We both agree about mother nature and how gardeners have to be some of the most optimistic people on the planet.

If you'd like to follow Lou her IG account it loulous_allotment

My good friend Jenny (also know as the Queen of Being Seen) and I decided we just wanted to chat on this podcast about nothing in particular or to promote what Jenny does (which is very good at by the way AND she's writing a series of books!) and simply explore where the conversation took us.

We started by talking about 'to niche or not to niche' - neither of us have niched as coaches in what we offer and see ourselves as now having portfolio type careers whihc has kept us both solvent and stopped us from being bored.

Of course social media comes up in chat and the the power of algorithms to alter our thinking as well as the use of AI, we're not really in favour of it terms of general use for many reasons. From AI being used to eliminate candiates at the first stage of any application we cover the change in cv's and applying for jobs. Jenny talks about using old school 'lumpy mail' to get seen.

As coaches our views on SMART goals are similar and we explore our approaches to helping clients. I explain why I work with clients on 'Future Plan A' rather than a 'Plan B'.

We go on to cover changing your mind, why conversations shut down rather than allow us to listen to opinions... and so much more! There will have to be another podcast.

You can find out more and connect with Jenny via these sites:

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennykovacs/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/VisibilityVibe

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thequeenofbeingseen/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/c/JennyKovacs

How many of us think about care homes and how to choose one well in advance of when we might need it either for ourselves or a family member? Or we only look when we suddenly find that we're in the situation of needing to find one quickly (which is what happened to us!). Well, it's never too early to start doing your research.

In this episode I chat to Will Hammond, Client liaison manager, at Silvermere Care home in Cobham Surrey. Will shares some great insights and tips about how to go about choosing a care home.where to start and what to look for. He explains what the difference is between: a care home and nursing home, respite care and long term care.

A lot of care homes run community days, or 'meet the manager' event which I thought just applied to residents and their families but no, you can attend even if you're not a resident there. Allowing you to find out more about the home and get chance to chat to residents, taste the food and make friends.

It's a great way of helping someone transition or realise what they are mssing out on especially if they live alone. You can book in for a couple of weeks respite care, not just if you are recovering from a stay in hospital but if need a loved one to be looked after whilst you go away, as my mother in law said she booked in for 'a mini holiday' to REALLY see what it's like day to day befoer making any decisions.

Will also emphasised how important it is that the family are very much made to feel as much part of the home as the resident themselves and the staff are there to help the family as well. They do as much as they can to make it feel like home and each resident can personalise their room. Will says the one question he gets asked a lot is "Can they have wine or alcohol?" and yes you can have a glass of wine or your favourite tipple, even your own little fridge in your room!

If you would like to speak to Will or have more information on Silvermere Care Home his email is: [email protected] or the specific webstie is www.averyhealthcare.co.uk/care-homes/silvermere or for a list of all care homes (not just in the Avery group) go to www.carehome.co.uk

I find out from Sophie what made her choose to become a driving instructor. She used to be a personal trainer but was tired of commuting into London from Watford everyday having chunks of the day with no clients plus working weekends so retrained as a driving instructor.

If you thought taking your driving test was scary it's nothing to the training and tests needed to become an instructor. It may well explain why we have a lack driving instructors and such long waiting lists for lessons. Sophie (has a waiting list several months long) gives some great advice - if you're wanting to buy lessons for a 17th birthday look to book them months in advance.

We compare notes from when I learnt to drive (pre compulsory seat belts!) and now. Oh how I remember the pressures of hill starts, roundabouts and reversing around corners (that bit no longer in the test.

Sophie points out that you're never actually alone in a car until you pass your test as someone else is always driving you somewhere - no wonder that first drive on your own can be so daunting!

We chat about the lack or state of signage these days, use of sat navs, LED lights blinding you and reason why so many instructors won't teach in the dark now. We discuss possible new rules around eyetests etc. for 'older drivers and Sophie raises some interesting points about why it shouldn't be just for 'older' people.

She chats about the fears so many drivers have and where some of those fears originate - so be careful if you're the driver and have children or other non-drivers in the car what you say about other drivers!

Her Tuesday quiz each week with 'Tester Anne' on Instagram Stories is a great refresher on the highway code and makes me realise how much I had forgotten or has been added since I learnt to drive. (Look out for answers including Lloyd, her dog and not hard to guess which football team Sophie supports!)

Sophie is on social media @online_driving_instructor and YouTube @TheOnlineDrivingInstructor

I met Sarah over 12 years ago when we were both working on the Virgin Flying without Fear courses helping people overcome their fear of flying. We always said the most dangerous part of flying was getting to or from the airport. Turns out crossing the road on a crossing is FAR more dangerous and scary than flying!

Sarah is cabin crew for Virgin and whilst in LA was out getting her new 'lippy' before returning to the hotel to get her rest before her flight home.

She was on a crossing when she got hit by a car, the driver had glanced at her mobile phone and lost concentration for a split second. That 'split second' had a devastating impact on Sarah's life...

Sarah tells her story of the events as they unfolded. How she was more worried about her King's coronation tote bag, phone and flip flops as she lay on the road than her own injuries! Her relief at realising she had no head or spinal injuries and how everything else would be recoverable from. How she was reassured in the 'emergency room' at the hospital that she wouldn't have a 12 hour wait like in the NHS! Then her recovery was hit with other complications like a DVT plus a problem with her liver and heart that were discovered during her scans. Sarah shares how she focussed her mind on the positives and her recovery rather than what had actually happened.

The care and attention she recieved from so many people not least Virgin and her 'crew' family was an important part of her recovery. She just wanted to get home to where she felt safe but wasn't expecting to feel how she did once in her own home.

Over 2 years later Sarah has just done her first flight. She tells her story of her long recovery and the enormous knock-on effect it has had on all areas of her life and how she is still taking 'baby steps'.

Videos on social media of people filming themselves whilst driving and seeing drivers on their phones make her really, REALLY angry. A warning to us all about phones and driving! As she says, "DON"T DO IT!"

Apologies for some sound issues in this episode.

Following on from my chat with Janet in the preivous epiosode we decided there was a lot more to discuss on the topic of social media. We are keen to point out that we are giving our own viewpoints and experiences as we discuss the ins and outs of social media.

We both use social media and enjoy it but do question to what extent are we being manipulated in ways we're not aware of? Are we addicted?

Ever heard of 'Thirsty Thursday', 'Influencer pods', 'Shadow banning' for example? No me either! Janet enlightens me as we look at the darker side of social media that many of us use but won't even be aware exists that is manipulating us.

How do you know if someone is being authentic these days? Are they wanting to be 'your friend' or simply sell you something? How much do the algorithms shape our lives, what we do and think, our opinions?

And now enter a whole other level of manipulation - the world of AI...

We don't have the answer other than 'buyer beware!'

I last spoke to Janet in episode 25 about her business as a divorce coach specialising in narcisstic abuse and why she has now decided to close her business. She explains that having reached a milestone birthday that she feels she is in the 'departure lounge' of life, but absolutley not ready to board just yet, so wants to make sure she makes the most of it and has the time to do what she wants.

We chat about the pressures of the type of coaching she has been doing and that she was doing it more to help people and get information out there rather than build a six figure 'Instagram' business. She felt the constant pressure of being told that as a business she 'had to be' on social media and show her face and how that really wasn't for her. She uses a good anaolgy for Instagram as it does have some good content on there but it's like looking for a needle in an ever growing haystack.

It leads us into a discussion about the changes we see on social media: the increase in adverts and posts selling things, pyramid or MLM (multi-level marketing), the one model fits all type courses, the 'acting' in posts, why people mute rather than unfollow and how we prefer more authentic accounts. Janet also raises the point that it's impossible to stop the 'cold calling' type messages from people who bombard you with the: buy now, early bird price, only 10 places left, offer ends, last chance to sign up!

Janet explains why there are a lot of covert female narcisist hiding out on Instagram / social media and how important it is to them to get a constant supply of attention in what ever way they can.

We both agree we're not in favour of membership groups for various reasons and how important it is to constantly review the groups you belong to and what you get from them. We are both surprised how little due diligence people do these days before signing up to something or someone and simply believe what they see on the person's social media output.

We acknowledge that we're all different and as Janet says it's about finding the needle [or our needle] in the haystack of social media that we like.

Lastly we chat about YouTube, (as I've started a channel for many reasons), is it or isn't it social media? What makes it different and the reasons we are both using it far more these days.

Jess tells me her story as to why she left a senior role in corporate banking to follow a little idea she'd had in the backof her mind for a few years.

She retrained and is now a fully qualified coach and mentor. As people are often confused about the difference between a coach, mentor and sponsor Jess uses a great analogy to explain them. We chat about the importance of making sure a client knows when we are coaching or mentoring.

As Jess's background was in a predominantly male environment she recognised the importance of supporting and enabling women to thrive and grow in their own way. She now runs her own business 'The Female Mentoring Alliance' and within that offers a programme called TransformHer as well as group and 1 to 1 coaching.

https://thefemalementoringalliance.com/ IG @thefemalementoringalliance LinkedIn: The Female Mentoring Alliance

Before recording this episode I was looking at Eleanor's Hunt website https://www.thewoollencwtchcompany.com/ , and thought she must have been honing her skill of weaving beautiful willow and British wool coffins for years. How wrong can you be?!

I've just started learning how to weave with willow and like anything new when you try it you discover just what a skill it is to weave anything! So I was blown away when I learnt Eleanor's story of how she left teaching and is now making really beautiful coffins inside and out.

She started her company back in 2021 but she had only recently started willow and rope weaving during covid and actually taught herself to do it! She had moved to mid Wales and having helped out on farms as a lambing assistant appreciated all the amazing benefits of wool and wanted to help British sheep farmers raise the price of their wool. She knew it would have to be commercial enough to achieve her goal. She had an idea...

We chat about how no skill is wasted and how each skill she has learnt along the way from: upholstery, to felting, to weaving seats, to sewing, to processing wool, to spinning, to making her own rope...are all being used in making her beautiful coffins.

I also find out the meaning of her company name - with Cwtch being a Welsh word.

Her attitude to life is evident from her story. She just keeps moving forward, she never sees anything as a failure but an opportunity to learn how to do better and she's keen to seek out help and advice - which is how she met another inspiring woman Kate Drury and her sustainable rope (Kate's story is episode 80).

Her story and passion for wool is infectious and will inspire anyone who listens to it, me included!

Note: I'm so happy to add that since recording the podcast a couple of weeks ago Eleanor has achieved full accreditation for her coffins. Most crematoriums in the UK now require coffins to have passed through a specially designed testing protocol. This means that her coffins can now be used in cremations as well as in burials and will have a blue stamp on the base with it's own unique code. Congratulations Eleanor.

I met Michele many years ago, we are both trained coaches and Master Practitioners of NLP, when we were both assistants on Dr Richard Bandler's NLP courses. Since then we have both gone in different directions and Michele is now a highly experienced trauma informed therapist. She is trained by Gabor Maté in Compassionate Inquiry, Dr Richard Schwartz in Internal Family systems as well as a hypnotherapist and coach.

Michele came to specialise in narcissism through wanting to understand more about her own behaviours and experiences. She is an expert in knowing about narcissism in all its various guises so was the ideal person to ask how narcissism fits in with childhood trauma and how that can result in becoming a people pleaser.

She clarifies how the role of being a people pleaser serves someone but can then hinder them later in life. She also explains the difference between a narcissist and having a narcissistic personality disorder as well as the various types of narcissist that can hide in plain sight.