Because people treating other people crappy in the name of Jesus shouldn’t get to be done so quietly. And while I may get called “disgruntled” or “bitter” among other things, I kept all the emails and recordings so that “liar” couldn’t be added to that list.
The church where I used to work did not protect me/others from sexual harassment. They ignored my requests to create a safer workplace and then eventually paid the harasser to leave the staff. It gnaws at me that a secular organization would have handled this well. I let my expectations hurt my own feelings but I have learned my lesson. For-profit is held to a weirdly higher standard regarding business practices versus nonprofit. It feels criminal, but it isn’t.
Nonprofits can receive PPP loans and have them forgiven all the while not reporting income to the government. Abusive employment practices are allowed because there are no real consequences. They do not pay into unemployment nor do they pay taxes. There is no accountability for poor management styles and so, overlooking and minimizing sexual advances or unwanted behavior is much easier to do and get away with. The clown in this story gets to float on to his next job with direct deposits still hittin because of the toxic church culture that protects pastors and silences victims.
Our grandmothers taught us that a mistake made more than once is a decision. Since I was not the first woman to speak up about a pastor that made her uncomfortable at the church where I used to work, the efforts to cover up, minimize and ignore my accusation weren’t a mistake but a choice. And it is that type of culture in church leadership that gave Matt Chandler the audacity to start his speech last week with “I am going to be the pastor here for the next 20 years.”
As promised, here are 2 organizations worth your time and dime if you have it to spare.
BloomIndia.com
AbideWomen.org
There were a lot of positive memories in these last years that I am beyond thankful to take with me into the next season. It will have to be more memories than people, but I think my heart is finally ok with that.
Props to the woman who called out Matt Chandler in the foyer, and to Ruth Graham for reporting on church hurt and the systems that perpetuate it.
✌🏾
TL;DR- your girl was “quietly fired” and it sucked because it was served with communion wafers and a side salad of sexual harassment. The delicious dessert was a 6-month stress-filled financial hardship of a job search.
Thanks for listening to my 1-star yelp review.
I promise I do not feel actual bitterness, but I also, more importantly, do not feel like protecting the reputation of piss poor leadership with my silence either. I know people grow and evolve but at the expense of so many others who also trying to grow and evolve??
No thanks.
