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• Feeling down didn’t want to do this podcast at all tbh. Ive been feeling extremely unmotivated the past week.
• I managed to get myself to the gym more the half the days but throughout my day I just had no motivation to do anything else.
• You know sometimes life is just like that and we have to remind ourselves that its okay to feel down for a week but to bring yourself back up. So thats what I did today I woke up and deep cleaned my entire Apartment and did my laundry only took 4 hours because this how bad my place was but I got it done now I’m sitting here recording my podcast.
• This was suppose to go up on Monday but like I said I just really couldn’t bring myself to record. And Ive been practicing not beating myself up for not doing certain things when my body doesn’t feel like it because we all go through it and if I beat myself up for it it’ll become a toxic trait and not a healthy one.
• Now lets get into our topic for today the story of how I dropped out of college
• So it starts way back to how I was set on going to Syracuse for their acting program but it was just too expensive for my single mom to pay for. Now I’m glad I didn’t go because been 200k in debt does not sound appealing at all.
• I ended up having to go with my last option and safety school which was Salem state. I hated the idea of this. I did not like the vibe of the school I hated the campus and just everything about it was a no for me. But they have said to have a decent acting program which is why it was a safety school for me.
• Anyways I ended up going there for my freshman year and like I predicted I hated every single second of It and I became extremely depressed. I had always been a good student As and Bs the occasional Cs in math bc Math just isnt something I comprehend very well lol. But regardless I was a pretty darn good student always did ,y homework and participated did extra curricular activities you name it.
• Salem though brought out the worst of me… I started skipping classes I could barely do my homework. I started smoking a whole lot of weed. Now I’m a fan of smoking but not like how I was doing it back when I was in college it became a real addiction. I was essentially spiraling. There are a lot of factors to this that I might get into another podcast, but for now I was just down tremendously bad. Even though academically and mentally is was not in a good place I somehow still managed to get a lead role in the black box theatre with Celina Sky April who is an amazing professor and director I learned a great deal from her. This was the only thing keeping me afloat.
• Now covid hit and we went online and now even worse I was barely showing up to class. I would sleep during class. If I showed up I was in bed barely paying any attention. Things were just not it.
• I wanted to drop out so bad. I felt like college just wasn’t for me maybe it was because it was the school that I hated but none the less it was my reality. I knew Inside me I had to make some changes. So I decided to transfer to a community college for my sophomore year. The plan was to go to community college for a year then transfer to a bigger school
• This last like 3 months lol
• I dropped out before thanksgiving if I’m remembering correctly. And I did not tell my mom. I just pretended I was still in school until about March. I have no idea how I pulled this off btw.
• So from November till march I was doing absolutely nothing with my life other than working a waitressing job. But I had the vision of still becoming an actor so I enrolled in some online classes based in LA. These classes kept me motivated and where my decision of moving to LA to pursue my acting career came from.
• This didn’t happen either like I talked about briefly in my first episode. It all just felt like nothing was going my way and right after is when I got kicked out and had to move out on my own. Literally a whirlwind of shit going on. Now it was extremely difficult for me to continue to pursue an acting career while trying to pay my bills and keep myself afloat and because of this it kinda made me lose my passion for it. I don’t really know where I stand with it now because life has just changed so much and so drastically the last 3 1/2 years. I hope that one day I do find my love for it again but at the moment the only acting I really do is whenever I get a job through my agent.
• Now fast forward Im currently studying for my real estate license and pursing that. I don’t see myself being a full time agent but Its something good to have in the back of your pocket and you never know when someone you know is wanting to buy a house.
• What I’m really focusing on is how to make money online. And I’ve been brainstorming for awhile and trying to figure out the itty bitty things of it and my goal this 2023 is to do so.
• As for my job now I currently got hired as a manager for tech rental company and I’m super excited to start. Definitely isn’t in my view of what I want to do with the rest of my life but I am only 21 and Im trying to figure all these things out right now you know? And working every day to get there in the future.
• Thats pretty much my story of how I dropped out of college and have had some career changes since leaving high school almost 4 years ago. It already feels like I’ve lived 5 lives already.
• My advice for this episode is that if you know something isn’t meant for you don’t do it. Always trust your gut feeling. A year ago when I still worked at a restaurant I told myself for months on end that once I found a new job that that would be the last time I ever worked as a waitress ever again because of how much I hated the hours and the management in restaurant spaces.
• I found myself looking for a new job the past 2 weeks and I went to an interview at a restaurant and when I tell you guys how much I was dreading it and the promise I had made for myself the year before was about to mean nothing if I accepted the position. My mom told me I should just go for it for the extra cash but I just knew in my heart and soul I wouldn’t be happy. So I didn’t go back for the second interview and out of nowhere the job I have now have landed on my lap.
• What Im trying to say is never be afraid of doing something, taking the first leap is the hardest to do everything else will come naturally.
• Whatever life throws at you just always remember to feel things out for yourself and make the decision that feels right not the decision that everyone else thinks is what you should do.
• With career changes and things like dropping out of college it has to be about you and if you truly see yourself doing what it is you need to do.
• Being afraid of the uncertainty of things is also okay. Everyone goes through it but what you have to remember is to never let fear dictate your life. Once you let fear take over your life things will stop moving in the right direction for you. Thats why I had to say fuck it and drop out of college without my mom knowing. She was so admitted about me going to school but I knew in my soul I wasn’t meant to go to school.

#droppingout #careerchanges #feelinglost #listeningtoyourgut #college #acting #modeling 

This episode we talk about night/morning routines, taking your daily vitamins, going to the gym and getting your body moving, gratitudes, creating healthy habits when you're in a funk, and so so much more. 

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