Give It To Me Bi

If you've ever typed "am I bi" into a search bar at 2am, replayed every crush like courtroom evidence, or quietly made "exceptions" to the label you were using, this one's for you. Steve and Chad share real stories from the Give It To Me Bi community: wrong first labels, slow hindsight, dreams and crushes that didn't fit the boxes, and the moment "bisexual" finally became a word in someone's world. No checklist, no gatekeeping, no verdict required by the end of the episode. Just permission, patterns, and the company of people still figuring it out.

• 00:00 — How do you actually know if you're bisexual?
• 01:09 — BiLights
• 07:47 — No single lightning bolt: wrong first labels & learning "bi" exists
• 31:15 — Messy clues: media, dreams, crushes & social noise
• 49:02 — Steve has questions about getting married
• 54:44 — Labels under the bi+ umbrella: bi, pan, queer, questioning, none
• 1:13:50 — What we wish someone had told us & the 11 positive aspects of bi identity

• Ep 26 — How to be bisexual in a monogamous relationship
• Ep 27 — Coming out bisexual later in life
• Ep 11 — Bisexuality Explained: Your Burning Questions
• Ep 10 — Why Are Bisexual Men Still in Hiding in 2024?
• Ep 7 — Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024

• Website
• Join the Give It To Me Bi community
• Subscribe to the newsletter
• Research: The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identification
• Guide: 'How to Support Someone Who's Come Out as Bisexual'

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Coming out as bi+ doesn't come with a deadline.

If you came out (or you're still coming out) at 30, 50, 70, or any age that didn't match the storybook teen-coming-out timeline, this episode is for you. We want this to be a big warm hug.

Steve and Chad sit with the full range of what coming out later actually feels like. As Steve puts it on this episode, "all of these things can be true at once. It can be great, it can be amazing, it could be awful, it can be horrible, it can mean nothing, it can mean everything." Relief, panic, limbo, grief, pride, sometimes all in the same week.

We talk about telling your spouse, family, and friends, why you don't owe everyone the same level of access to your identity, the AIB model and split attraction, the grief of paths not taken, and how we talk about the lives we did or didn't live.

Out to a handful is still out. Later doesn't mean less. Forward this to whoever needs it.

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🔗 Read this month's column at the Star Observer: "No Script For This" by Chad → https://tinyurl.com/ycynw88w

📚 Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Bisexual Killjoy podcast → https://www.bisexualkilljoy.com/

• Star Observer on Leigh Ryswyk → https://tinyurl.com/5n8sb4c6

🎧 If this one resonated, our back catalogue has more:

• Ep 7 *Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024* — the baseline coming-out conversation

• Ep 3 *Bisexual Visibility and Generational Shifts* — language and scripts shifting across decades

• Ep 6 *Exploring Bisexual Relationships and Research* — relationship and research context

🤝 Need to support someone who's coming out?

We made a resource for that. Send it to whoever needs the leg up → https://tinyurl.com/msb7ppz6

👯 Stay with us:

• Follow / subscribe wherever you're listening so the next episode lands in your feed

• Join the Give It To Me Bi community on Facebook → https://tinyurl.com/n5rpd4dc

• Subscribe to the newsletter → https://tinyurl.com/45sfmamc

• Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/giveittomebi/

• Everything else lives at → https://tinyurl.com/852k48je

If this episode hit something for you, forward it to one person who needs it.

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We're back. Season 2 is here and we are straight into it. Well, not straight...

This week we're tackling one of the most requested topics in the history of this show: how do you stay connected to your bi+ identity when you're in a monogamous relationship? And what does your partner actually need to know?

Whether you've ever thought maybe I'm not bi enough because I'm in a relationship, or you're a partner trying to figure out how to show up, this one's for both of you.

In this episode:

• Attraction, identity and relationship agreement are three completely different things. We use Robyn Ochs' definition of bisexuality to unpack why the "scorecard" question is the wrong question entirely — and who keeps asking for it.
• Mixed orientation relationships. What happens when one person in a relationship is bi+ and the other isn't, and why the unspoken agreement is almost always the most dangerous one.
• For the partner listening. Your bi+ person isn't afraid of you. They're afraid of everything the world has told you about them. There's a difference and it matters.
• The research is clear. Partner acceptance doesn't just make bi+ people feel better. It makes relationships better. We get into why.
• Chad's personal story. Coming out to his late partner Heidi mid-relationship — the rupture it created, the conversations that followed, and how it became one of the greatest joys of his life.
• And more!

Monogamy does not cancel bisexuality. Non-monogamy does not prove it.

Links:

• Join the Give It To Me Bi community
• Follow us on Instagram
• Star Observer column

Give It To Me Bi acknowledges that we live and work on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to elders past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded.

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We’re busting more bi+ myths with clear, practical answers: identity vs politics, the “prove it” trap, couples seeking women on apps, ageing and labels, and why health gaps are about stigma—not sexuality. Plus Rainbow Election Forum takeaways, Qtopia’s Sydney Pride Fest news, and a moving tribute to Heidi.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- You don’t owe anyone a dating résumé. Your identity isn’t up for audit.

- “Queer” can feel political; “bisexual” can be a simple description—both are valid.

- App dynamics are shaped by culture and numbers—don’t scapegoat bi+ people.

- Bisexuality doesn’t disappear with age; safety, language, and context shift.

- Bi mental-health gaps are driven by stigma and minority stress, not by being bi.

CHAPTERS

- Opening Thanks & Community Care

- Rainbow Election Forum: Wins and Gaps

- Qtopia Sydney Pride Fest: What’s Coming

- Star Observer: Why We Show Up

- Myth: “Bi Needs to Be Political”

- Myth: “You Must Prove Your Bi-ness”

- Myth: “Couples Only Seek Women on Apps”

- Ageing and Labels: What Actually Changes

- Bi Health: Stigma vs Sexuality

- Closing Notes + Tribute

RESOURCES MENTIONED

- Rainbow Election Forum — Community Q&A with political leaders — https://equalityaustralia.org.au/our-work/rainbow-votes/

- Health Equity Matters — https://www.healthequitymatters.org.au/

- Qtopia Sydney Pride Fest — Festival mentioned — https://qtopiasydney.com.au/pride-fest-2025/

- Star Observer — Monthly column — https://www.starobserver.com.au/category/give-it-to-me-bi

Join the mailing list: https://tinyurl.com/3hzyj3zt

Join the online community: https://tinyurl.com/49kt66cm

Review on Apple | Review on Spotify

MEMORABLE QUOTES

“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.” — Host

“There’s no one correct way to be bi.” — Host

“It’s stigma—not sexuality—that harms our health.” — Host

CREDITS

Hosted by Steve Spencer and Chad Barnier.

Audio Production and Editing by Chad Barnier.

Podcast artwork by Chad Barnier.

CONTENT NOTE

This podcast often discusses themes of mental and physical health, suicide, minority stress, and politics.

TRANSCRIPT NOTE

Transcripts are auto-generated—apologies for any inaccuracies.

#bisexual #bisexuality #biplus #bi+

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRY

Give It To Me Bi acknowledge that we live and work on Gadigal Land. We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of this land and pay our respects to Elders past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded.

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In this episode of Give It To Me Bi, Chad and Steve tackle the intersections of bisexuality and physical health, unpacking the unique disparities Bi+ folks face in health systems, studies, and lived experience. From breaking down minority stress and the AIB (Attraction, Identity, Behaviour) model to candid chats about disability, health journeys, and everything in between—this episode is a blend of research-backed insight and heartfelt personal stories. PLUS, a major announcement: the very first Give It To Me Bi Live Show is happening this June for Pride Month at Qtopia Sydney—and you're invited.

• Bisexuals & Health Gaps: Why bisexual individuals face unique physical health risks—including earlier onset disability and chronic illness.
• The AIB Model: Breaking down why attraction, identity, and behaviour all matter—and how research often fails us.
• Internalised Ableism & Productivity Guilt: Chad and Steve get real about disability, chronic illness, and the societal shame around “doing less.”
• What Actually Helps: From electrolyte trauma to walking with purpose—realistic, body-positive tips for health without shame.
• Live Show Reveal! We’re kicking off Pride Month at Qtopia Sydney with our first-ever live podcast taping AND a bonus community panel night.

🗓️ Mon 2 June 2025 | Get Tickets

Join us for Give It To Me Bi: LIVE!, our first-ever live show and a powerful all-star Bi+ panel.

👉 How to Support Someone Who Has Recently Come Out as Bisexual

Studies:

• Dyar et al. (2019). Physical Health Disparities Across Dimensions of Sexual Orientation, Race/Ethnicity, and Sex: Evidence for Increased Risk Among Bisexual Adults. Archives of sexual behavior, 48(1), 225–242. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-1169-8
• Fredriksen-Goldsen et al. (2012). Disability among lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults: disparities in prevalence and risk. American journal of public health, 102(1), e16–e21. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2011.300379
• Taylor et al. (2019). Bisexual mental health: Findings from the 'Who I Am' study. Australian journal of general practice, 48(3), 138–144. https://doi.org/10.31128/AJGP-06-18-4615

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• Subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.
• Leave a Review to help new folks discover the pod.
• Share this episode with someone who's navigating their health or identity journey.

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Bisexual people face some of the worst mental health outcomes in the LGBTQIA+ community, but why isn’t this crisis talked about more? For this episode of our Bi+ Health Awareness Month series, we sit down with Bailey Merlin, board member of the Bisexual Resource Center, co-host of Bisexual Killjoy, and researcher at Harvard Medical School tackling bi+ mental health and erasure.

Bailey breaks down the structural barriers bi+ people face in healthcare, the importance of finding community, and how activism itself can be a powerful tool for improving mental well-being. Plus, we chat about the Bi+ Book Gang, funding struggles for bi+ advocacy, and the power of storytelling in making change.

🌈 Why the bi+ mental health crisis is worse than you think

📢 How to advocate for yourself in healthcare settings

📝 The role of research in addressing health inequities

🤝 How community and activism improve bi+ well-being

🎙 Inside the Bisexual Resource Center & Bi+ Book Gang

Whether you’re looking for mental health resources, advocacy insights, or just some bi+ solidarity, this episode is for you.

📚 Bisexual Resource Center – Mental health resources, advocacy, and community events

📊 Bi+ Health Awareness Month – Learn more & spread awareness

📖 Bi+ Book Gang – A writers’ space for bi+ creatives

🎙 Bisexual Killjoy Podcast – Hosted by Bailey Merlin & Jase Peeples

🎧 Spotify

🍎 Apple Podcasts 

▶️ YouTube

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We’re kicking off Bi Health Awareness Month 2025 by diving straight into Sexual Health and HIV—two areas where bi+ folks often face unique challenges and misinformation. This episode covers everything from safer sex strategies and HIV prevention to the tricky conversations we have (or don’t have) with healthcare providers about being bi+.

Chad and Steve share personal stories, discuss the stigma that keeps so many of us from getting tested or disclosing our identities at the clinic, and unpack how better resources can lead to better outcomes. Whether you’ve ever felt ignored in a “gay-only” health setting or worried your doctor wouldn’t “get it,” this conversation is for you. 

And don’t worry—we’ll also point you to some awesome resources from the Bisexual Resource Center and beyond, so you can walk away feeling more informed and empowered than ever.

• Bi Health Month 2025: Why it matters, and how the Bisexual Resource Center’s initiative helps.
• Safer Sex & HIV Myths: Breaking down common misconceptions that affect bi+ people.
• Healthcare Disclosure: Navigating awkward conversations and why being out to your provider can improve care.
• Practical Resources: Links to brochures, articles, and orgs for more info on HIV prevention and sexual health.

• Social Determinants of Health (WHO)
• Bisexual Resource Center – Bi Health Month
• HRC Brief: Health Disparities Among Bisexual People
• Sexual Health Tips for the Bi+ Community
• Coming Out to Your Doctor as Bisexual (HRC)
• Tips for Bi+ Inclusion in Programs & Services (BRC)

• Subscribe: Never miss an episode—hit that subscribe button on your favourite podcast platform.
• Join the Community: Our Facebook Group or sign up for our Newsletter to keep the conversation going.
• Share Your Story: If you’ve ever felt overlooked or faced stigma at the doctor’s office, we’d love to hear it! DM us, or post in the group.

Remember, knowledge is power—especially when it comes to looking after yourself and your community. Stay safe, stay curious!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sport is supposed to bring people together—but for many bisexual athletes and fans, it has often been a hostile or invisible space. Whether it’s growing up in locker rooms where being queer felt unsafe or seeing top athletes afraid to come out, bi+ people face unique challenges in the world of sports.

So today, we’re tackling bi+ representation in sport—the triumphs, struggles, and moments of erasure that define the experience of bisexual athletes at every level.

• 🎤 Why does the conversation always focus on ‘gay athletes’ instead of asking, ‘Where are the bi ones?’
• 🏟 What impact does biphobia have on mainstream and local sports?
• 💪 Who are the bi+ athletes breaking barriers—and why don’t we hear more about them?

Plus, we break down Jeff Molina’s forced coming out in the UFC, the biphobia in the AFL and other mainstream leagues, and the inclusive spaces that are changing the game for bi+ athletes.

• 🏅 The fight for visibility in sport: Why bi+ athletes are still sidelined
• ⚽ From the AFL to the UFC: The challenges of coming out in elite sport
• 🌍 Local sports teams creating inclusive spaces for bi+ and LGBTQ+ players
• 🏳️‍🌈 The backlash against Jeff Molina’s coming out & the risks for queer athletes

Whether you’re a die-hard sports fan, a casual spectator, or just someone looking for representation, this episode is for you.

The BISHH Study! Closes this week!!

• 📊 Gallup Poll: Nearly 1 in 10 Americans Identify as LGBTQ+, Thanks to Bi+ People & Gen Z
• ⚖️ ABS 2026 Census Gender & Sexuality Changes
• 📰 Liam Payne & the Speculation Around His Sexuality
• 📢 Trump Administration’s Attempt to Erase Stonewall Trans History
• 🏳️‍🌈 Pride in Sport Local Sports Team Directory
• 📰 Jeff Molina’s Forced Coming Out & Backlash

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Musical theatre has a reputation for being super queer-friendly—but does that just mean “gay-friendly,” while bi+ folks get sidelined? From Rocky Horror winks to a Cabaret nudge, bisexuality in theatre is often a punchline, a trope, or completely erased. Maybe this time, the bisexuals should take center stage.

• 🎤 Why does theatre lean so heavily on bi tropes?
• 🎭 Which musicals actually get bisexuality right?
• 🎶 How does theatre shape queer identity—and is it truly inclusive?

Plus, we celebrate our 20th episode milestone (!!!), talk about Chad’s new role in local LGBTQ+ advocacy, and Steve’s starring moment in an HIV well-being campaign.

• 🎟 How musical theatre helped us discover our queer identities
• 🎭 The Rocky Horror Picture Show problem: Bisexual freedom or tired villain trope?
• 💡 How If/Then nails bisexual storytelling without falling into clichés
• 🔄 When source material is bisexual, but adaptations erase the queerness (The Color Purple, Hamilton)
• 🎬 Rewriting musicals: What shows should have explicit bi representation?

Whether you’re a theatre nerd, a casual musical lover, or just here for the campy chaos, this episode is for you.

• 🌈 Biconic Mardi Gras Float - Help Keep Bi+ Representation in the Parade!
• 📰 Star Observer: Mardi Gras' Only Bisexual Float Needs Your Support
• 📊 BISHH Study - Final Call for Participation
• 🌐 Visit Our Website
• 📖 How to Support Someone Who’s Just Come Out as Bisexual
• 👥 Join the Community
• 📩 Sign up for our Newsletter
• 📰 Our Latest Star Observer Article: Could Celebrity Bisexuality Alter Our Nation’s Numbers?

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Ever noticed how women’s bisexuality in pop music is either fetishised into a sexy gimmick, while bi men seem to vanish altogether? In this episode, we dive into queerbaiting, erasure, and whether the industry is genuinely celebrating bisexual identities—or just cashing in on them.

🎤 How does the music industry shape bisexual representation?

🎶 Are recording artists amplifying visibility or being controlled by industry expectations?

📢 Does queerbaiting exist in music, or is it just repackaged biphobia?

We also discuss bisexual empowerment in music, the songs that have helped us feel seen, and the unique experience of swapping pronouns in lyrics—whether to hide or flaunt bisexual identity. Plus, we break down the 2025 Grammys, possibly the queerest Grammys to date, and what it says about representation right now.

• 🎵 The Grammys, Lady Gaga’s reign, and the rise of Chappell Roan
• 🎙 How music helps shape bisexual identity & self-acceptance
• 💡 The study exposing how women’s bisexuality is framed in pop music
• 🤔 Queerbaiting or self-expression? The industry’s control over artist personas
• 🔥 Clowns’ Bisexual Awakening—punk rock’s boldest bisexual anthem

Whether you’re a karaoke professional, a music lover, or just here for the Gaga worship, this one’s for you.

• 🎵 Abracadabra – Lady Gaga (Official Video)
• 🤠 Saddle Club - Queer Line Dancing
• 🎤 Birdcage Sydney - Queer Femme Club Night
• 📰 Our latest Star Observer Column: 'Could Celebrity Bisexuality Alter Our Nation’s Numbers?'
• 🏆 Chappell Roan’s Speech at the 2025 Grammys
• 📖 Study: Women’s Bisexuality in American Pop Music (2008-2018)
• 🎸 Clowns - Bisexual Awakening (Official Video)

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