Giving Back Podcast

Usually, on Thursdays, we do Giving Back Insights, my solo cast supplement.  Today we’re doing something different.  I saw an awesome video on Upworthy.com about a man’s journey from foster care child to adoptive parent and his story inspired me to reach out to him.  Our conversation was as wonderful as you might expect with a gentleman who is committed to improving the lives of foster children throughout the DC metropolitan

Region and today’s episode will feature his interview. 

Their story is about courage, diversity, and most of all, love.  Fair warning about our interview before we start: there’s some profanity, there’s some discussion about child abuse, there are a few long pauses & shared indignation, and there’s some crying by a couple of middle aged guys.  You’re about to hear a really personal conversation between two dads, no edits.  

Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of Comfort Cases and the Scheer family and in honor of National Foster Care month, I am pleased to introduce Rob Scheer!

“We just got some new statistics” about foster kids and education & incarceration

2.15: foster care system is shattered, not broken

4.15: difference for Rob and his kids is not about color, it’s education and opportunity

5.45: adults who have been in foster care suffer PTSD at twice the rate of combat veterans

8.00: the University of Maryland chose Comfort Cases as their example for students of giving back

9.10: “therapeutic” foster kids are kids being kids.  Hoarding food is a way to feel safe when food was withheld in their lives.

10.45: Comfort Cases is a national charity run completely by volunteers, www.NoMoreTrashBags.org”

12.30: Rob became homeless at 18 with a trash bag as a suitcase.  30 years later, his kids came with trash bags.  Shenendoah Chefalo wrote about that in her book, Garbage Bag Suitcase, www.GarbageBagSuitcase.com

 14.30: items in each comfort case are intentional and important to help kids transition to foster care

18.45: the blanket is about showing love for each child, which is what community is about

21.15: privilege to give back

25.45: Makai the Chicken Whisperer

29.15: “Blood does not make a family.  It’s the love in your heart that makes a family”

30.00: Only room for one princess in Scheer family, and that’s Amaya.  She and her brother Tristan battle over who rules the roost.

30.45: Visit to NY American Girl dolls store.  Amaya wasn’t too impressed, LOL

32.45: Five years later, talking about American Girl magazine experience with Amaya.

35.30: Got hate email after the American Girl magazine ran.

36.15: Choice as a family to address the situation, kids made the decision.  The Scheer family, not two gay dads with four black kids, decided to address the situation instead of hide.

37.45: Amaya to the million moms who called for a boycott of Mattel after the article: “I want to tell them to mind their own business”

39.30: Two dads who love their four kids

40.45: Reece comes from a very different background.  And he sounds like a pretty awesome dude!

43.30: Addressing puberty, they did what every family does

45.00: Greyson is a smart alecky son of two guns, funny and sharp as a tack

46.00: Life is about choices.  Chose to be a statistic, or be a leader.  Get in the game and play it.  We can change the statistics.

48.45: Once Rob decided in his early 30’s that his past and the abuse he suffered would not define him, he started to grow.  He wants foster kids to decide NOW.

50.30:  What does the Rainbow flag mean to Rob & Rob?

51.15:  Rob and Rob’s families share so much in common — of course!

52.30:  We NEED foster families, call or email Rob and he’ll answer every question.  You can be single, over 60, 30 or older, 2 men, 2 women.  What matters is you are ready to be a parent, short or longer time.  Let the kids know they are wanted.

Don’t be stingy with your love!  Always err on the side of love and kindness.

Love & Gratitude,

Rob 

Giving Back Podcast

Check out Rob’s Upworthy video below, or Google “Upworthy and Scheer”

Check out American Girl magazine article below, or Google “American Girl Magazine and Amaya”

To find out more about the Comfort Cases charity,

Check out Shenendoah Chefalo’s book Garbage Bag Suitcase and the website

Find out more about Rich Valenza’s organization Raise a Child 

Find out more about Dr. John DeGarmo’s life fostering over 50 kids 

Find out more about Brett Loftis and the Crossnore orphanage 

Find out more about Bob Simmons,Council for Children’s Rights in Mecklenburg County, North Carolina

And thank you to Stephan Spencer who opened my eyes to what’s happening to kids in foster care.  Please do your SEO magic to put the foster care system in more people’s hearts and in the crosshairs of reform

Lisa Marie Platske is the President and CEO of Upside Thinking, Inc. Lisa regularly runs Design Your Destiny Live events, where she teaches you how to maximize your strengths, take action, and get out of your own way! As a former law enforcement official, Lisa has seen everything, and even saw domestic abuse happen in her own household. When she left her career, she knew that there were still people in need and that God has bigger plans for her. 

Key Takeaways:

[4:40] Who is Lisa and why did she get started in law enforcement? 

[13:40] Lisa knows God has been very good to her and she’s been very blessed. 

[14:30] How did Upside Thinking get started?

[20:00] Is there such a thing as being disadvantaged?

[23:00] How does Lisa find or pick the women she helps in Upside Thinking?

[26:05] Unfortunately, when you give your talents away for free, people often value your talents less. 

[27:45] Through Lisa’s connections, she brought a small community  together during the economic crisis in 2008 and was able to help people stay afloat. 

[30:35] What kind of positive changes have happened to Lisa’s clients after working with her?

[37:55] What are some of Lisa’s goals when it comes to helping women and exposing them to new and better opportunities? 

[44:35] Regardless of your circumstances, everyone has the opportunity to give back! 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Giving Back Podcast

Upside Thinking

Design Your Destiny Live

Kiva

Project Forgive

Welcome to the 20th episode of Giving Back Insights, my Thursday solo show where I talk about how our guests and their charities serve others, to explore actions each of can take to make a difference in people’s lives and to share. Today I’m talking about impact! Listen to today’s episode and don’t forget to give your feedback and valuable comment. Enjoy!

Today’s show is about the impact and we’re talking about intentional acts of kindness by three studs who have pictured above: Jon Vroman from Front Row Foundation, Engelo Rumor, the Real Estate Dingo with Ohio Cash Flow, and Jason Kveton from Culvers.

Jon Vroman, Front Row Foundation`

Creating amazing experiences for people facing life-threatening illnesses and conditions

He and his team transforming their own lives with the art of moment making

Jason Kveton, Culvers restaurants

Specialties: Butterburgers, frozen custard, and a building a tribe

Giving back and making a difference in their community is at the very heart of Culvers

Changed Jason’s life as well as the communities for each of his locations

Engelo Rumora, the Real Estate Dingo, Ohio Cash Flow

Renovates and gives a house away, touching a family and an entire community

Asked for and received NO help from businesses.  What do Engelo and his team do?  Pledge to give 100 houses away over the next 10 years!

It doesn’t have to be huge or covered by the news to make a difference.  Every intentional act of kindness has a bigger impact than you know.

My wife reminded me that I do have a purpose with such love and kindness, it picked me up and re-energized me

I helped a friend get his business started and had no idea until recently

Don’t be stingy with your love.  Always err on the side of love and kindness.

Love & Gratitude

Giving Back Podcast

Jon Vroman, Front Row Foundation`

Jason Kveton, Culvers restaurants

Engelo Rumora, the Real Estate Dingo, Ohio Cash Flow

Dr. Shawne Duperone is a communication scholar and public speaker. She dubs herself as having a ‘PhD in Gossip’ because her research has explored innovative ways to use gossip for good. Dr. Duperone is the Founder of Project Forgive, a company that provides useful tools to help you practice forgiveness on a daily basis. If you’re being too hard on yourself, forgive yourself! You need it. 

Key Takeaways:

[4:35] We have to first forgive ourselves if we wish to see progress and move past our mistakes.

[5:15] Who is Dr. Duperone and why does she have a ‘PhD in Gossip’? 

[7:15] How did Project Forgive get started? 

[11:40] For example, how do you forgive someone who got the promotion you really wanted? How do you move forward? 

[16:15] Do you feel guilty about something? Listen to it, it’s important! 

[24:00] What kind of tools has Dr. Duperone created to help people with grief and forgiveness?

[35:40] When you’re able to forgive, you are also able to improve your relationship with that co-worker or whoever might be triggering you! 

[45:35] Outside communicators can be the critical key that businesses need to help improve team communication and reduce the spread of gossip.

[49:20] Action step: Practice forgiveness for yourself. 

[50:10] Sometimes forgiveness can also translate to acceptance. 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Giving Back Podcast

Project Forgive

Welcome to the 19th episode of Giving Back Insights, my Thursday solo show where I talk about how our guests and their charities serve others, to explore actions each of can take to make a difference in people’s lives and to share. Today I’m talking about love and kindness. Listen to today’s episode and don’t forget to give your feedback and valuable comment. Enjoy!

I met Leslie from Code Tenderloin for breakfast last week. What a great person, what incredible work she, the team and the participants are doing at Code Tenderloin.

I don’t remember exactly how we came to talk about our respective futures, but I do remember the funny, almost puzzled look on her face when I told her that I am still finding my path. In the kindest voice, Leslie told me this, “Rob, I haven’t known you very long, but there are 3 things that I think of when I’m with you. You’re deeply spiritual, you’re steeped in love, and you’re a storyteller.”

That sounded just wonderful to me. After many years of working on ME, working on being the best Rob possible, to be recognized as someone “steeped in love” --- wow. After being around all these amazing, generous people, learning from them, sharing their lessons, making a difference to others, I’d finally figured it out.

You know, the Universe has a funny way of recognizing when you need a reminder that life is about the journey, not the destination.

When I was with my son Carson in Santa Barbara, I got upset with him over directions, and blew a great opportunity to help him better navigate anywhere. When I pulled back and calmly explained how I’d process the moment to redouble my efforts to be patient, I thought I was pretty smart. Sure, I’d made a mistake. I’m human, and I know how to handle it and get back in my loving groove. Leslie’s keen observation of me proved that I was right, right?

Not so fast. The day after meeting Leslie, I react with anger and insecurity to my wife instead of responding with love and genuine curiosity. Luckily, she’s kind enough to recognize that I’m struggling, and stays calm.

Remember what I said about the Universe giving me exactly what I need and want as long as I’m open to receiving it with an open heart? And that sometimes what gets served up for us can be uncomfortable, or downright unpleasant? Those two moments reminded me of what I’ve been struggling against for so many years, what has caused me great heartache, held me back, kept me from connecting deeply. My greatest weakness is arrogance. Ouch, and thank you for the reminder to be ever vigilant.

I’m gonna tell you what my arrogance has caused. I’ve blown deals worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. I lost an executive position. I dismissed people, have a very small network of professional contacts from previous jobs.

Gratitude solves this, it’s a reminder that despite myself, I have so much.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. --- Victor Frankl

This is my daily affirmation: starting now, I choose to honor my authentic self by responding with love.

When I go to my Creator, I’m happy to be judged based on one guiding principle: I erred on the side of love and kindness

I shared three important life lessons with Carson as he embarks on his collegiate journey, Do Your Best, Surround Yourself With Greatness, and Purposefully Align Your Behavior to Reflect Your Good Intentions & Be Open to the Outcomes. I have two important additions to the lessons I shared with Carson. The first is to pause. When I’m feeling angry, upset, jealous, pissed off, annoyed, insecure, or any other negative emotion that comes from an event or a person’s behavior……...just pause. Then choose to respond in a way that reflects the best person I am.

The second is easy: Don’t be stingy with your love. Err on the side of love and kindness.

Thank you. Love & Gratitude

Giving Back Podcast

University of California, Santa Barbara

Codetenderloin.com

Alisha F. Miranda is the Managing Director of I.G. Advisors and the Founder of Not My Style. Alisha works one-on-one with companies to help build innovative programs that are both sustainable and scalable. As millennials begin entering the workforce, there’s been much more demand for their employers to give back to the community and causes that are important to them. More people in today’s world realize the impact that they have on the world and they’re voting for sustainable and ethical products with their dollars. 

Key Takeaways:

[4:40] Who is Alisha and how did she get involved with corporate social responsibility (CSR)? 

[13:00] How do business owners find out about/ get started in creating a CSR environment in their company culture? 

[15:10] As more millennials join the workforce, more and more of them expect their employers get involved in charity. 

[17:10] It’s becoming smart business to give back. Employees are more likely to stick around longer. 

[25:20] Alisha shares some examples of companies doing CSR the right way.

[34:55] What kind of feedback has Alisha received from the employees she’s worked with?

[43:20] What is ‘Not My Style’ about? 

[51:05] Today’s consumers are very, very aware, and concerned, about where their products are sourced from and the ethics behind it. 

[55:00] Evil corporate fat cats are becoming less and less true as more people become aware about the personal impact that they have on the world. 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Giving Back Podcast

I.G. Advisors

Not My Style

TrustLaw

Changing Our World, Inc.

Gap Inc. P.A.C.E

Pearson Higher Education Global Editions

Camfed

Welcome to the 18th episode of Giving Back Insights, my Thursday solo show where I talk about how our guests and their charities serve others, to explore actions each of can take to make a difference in people’s lives and to share. Today I’m talking about the relation between father to son. Listen to today’s episode and don’t forget to give your feedback and valuable comment. Enjoy!

Traveling with my son for a visit to UCSB, my alma mater and the greatest school on the planet. Passing on the three most important lessons to my son

#1: My father told me: do your best. I remember bringing home some great grades in school, and I was totally excited to show them to him. My father wasn’t too impressed with the results, but he sure did want to know that I poured myself into whatever I was doing.

#2: You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with people who are doing things you want to do in the ways you want to do them. If you hang around with people who make excuses, you’ll do the same.

#3: Start with good intentions, purposefully align your behavior to reflect your good intentions, and be open to the outcomes. No matter what the reaction or response, you will always know you came from the right place and were intentional about your actions and communication.

What a beautiful person he is!

Giving Back Podcast

University of California, Santa Barbara

Bea Johnson, her husband, and her two children, made the change to live more simply. By reducing their need for things and possessions, they also reduced their waste output. They first adopted the Zero Waste lifestyle in 2008 and they could not be happier! Can you believe than an entire family of 4 + their pet dog only produces about a one liter jar of waste a year? 

Key Takeaways:

[2:45] An entire family of 4 + their fur baby generates only a liter of waste a year. How is that possible?! 

[4:30] Why is Bea on a mission to reduce waste?

[8:15] Bea and her family store all of their trash for the year in one single jar. What’s usually in that jar? 

[11:25] Bea has 5 rules on how to sort the ‘waste’. If the waste can’t be disposed of in those 5 areas, then it goes into the jar. 

[14:15] What does Bea do with pens, for example? 

[18:55] What kind of experiences does Bea and her family gain from living a very minimal lifestyle?

[24:10] Bea and her family has been able to save 40% of their income! 

[28:40] People usually only use 20% of their clothing. 

[30:45] Bea and her family are having fun with this lifestyle. When you take on a minimal lifestyle and give up possessions, you become more free. 

[33:25] What do Bea’s parents, family and friends think about all of this? 

[39:25] What are some exciting things coming up for Bea and her family? 

Mentioned in This Episode:

Giving Back Podcast

Zerowastehome.com

Welcome to the 17th episode of Giving Back Insights, my Thursday solo show where I talk about how our guests and their charities serve others, to explore actions each of can take to make a difference in people’s lives and to share. Today I’m talking about Re-connecting and writing a book. Listen to today’s episode and don’t forget to give your feedback and valuable comment. Enjoy!

The picture in the cover is by Bryan Farley Photography. It’s Bryan and his two beautiful kids, Emily and Mason. He looks happy, doesn’t he?

Bryan and I recently re-connected after 27 years. We were pretty close in college and fell right into a very natural conversation.

He wrote a blog called “The Effect of Butterfly Suicides And Maroon 45” about his father’s death. Bryan’s dad died on August 16th, 2004. He took his own life, a permanent solution to a temporary problem. In our conversation, Bryan said something about my father, who died when I was in college before we met. I was really touched that he even remembered that we were on vacation when my dad died. He and I are both still processing our loss.

In the course of our conversation, it was interesting that we were at such similar points in our lives. Plus that he’s as authentic and genuine as ever. One of the things he talked about is finding his voice. What an amazing perspective he could lend with his background in women’s studies! And as a suicide survivor. And as someone with epilepsy.

I thought about what I’ve learned from so many amazing guests and what I’d want to share with Bryan. Something to help him move in the direction of his passion and dreams of serving others.

What I came back to is that wonderful picture of Bryan and his kids, and how happy he is. That the best place for him to start is right here, right now, being fully present and joyful in the moment. I am so grateful we re-connected, and look forward to 27 years together.

Love & Gratitude, Rob

Giving Back Podcast

www.bryanfarley.com

Joseph Ranseth is passionate about starting a movement. He has been helping individuals and organizations start movements for the last 15 years and is a keynote speaker as well as a Tedx organizer. Joseph is also actively involved with and is on the board of directors for the National Autism Association and a regular volunteer for Big Brother. Discover more of Joseph’s story today!

Key Takeaways:

[3:40] Who is Joseph and what does he do?

[9:35] Joseph not only wants to make an impact on an individual level, but he is working on creating a movement so that others, too, can help.

[10:35] Gandhi never said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” That quote is paraphrased.  He said something much deeper, and more profound.

[11:55] It can often feel like it’s too overwhelming to start something big and profound.

[14:05] Joseph has made commitments to three organizations and is directly working towards making our world a better place.

[19:25] The human brain evolves differently in a single vs dual parent household.

[22:25] What are our six main emotional  drivers?

[28:15] Kids in the Big Brother program need words of encouragement, love, and a mentor.

[34:50] What has Joseph learned during his time at Big Brother?

[37:15] It’s really easy to serve others and transform lives for the better.

[39:55] How did Joseph get involved with Tedx?

[46:30] Clarity and purpose is a big part of Joseph’s blueprint.

[52:45] One of the most satisfying things in life is helping people realize they can start a movement.

[54:50] Remember, we all have the opportunity to do something big.

Mentioned in This Episode:

Giving Back Podcast

Joseph Ranseth

The Compassionate Brain by Gerald Hüther

Big Brothers Big Sisters