The anatomy of trust is central to EQ. The first pillar of emotional intelligence looks at emotional self-awareness. Often, I ask people to reflect on the degree to which they are trusted by others and often they don’t know. Part of emotional self-awareness is knowing the impact of your behaviour on others. Is what I am doing or saying building trust or eroding it? It is good to be trusted. When people trust you, it will open doors for you. We all need to be trustworthy people just as God is trustworthy. The consequences of mistrust

occur where the world has not been reliable. What are some of the consequences of mistrust? Isolation, Paranoia, Violence, Demotivation etc. I would like to be a trusted person and also a trusting person. Let’s explore both concepts in this message. What words come to mind when you think of someone who you trust? For many of us it’s words like reliable, competent, caring, safe, honest, transparent, direct, etc. These words do not have the same meaning but all result in trust.

I can either read some books; ask a fellow brother in Christ or mine God’s Word for myself to get a better understanding of the Father Heart of God. In this way I can emulate what I see and what I read. Of course, as a child of God I also have the benefit of experiencing God the Father for myself in a very real and practical way. When we pray, we pray Our Father who art in heaven.

You will only be successful to the degree to which you remain motivated to complete your assignment. Many people are failing today, not because they lack skill or smartness; many are failing due to lack of motivation. Many of us come into the year with great aspirations but at some point, we lose motivation. We see gyms full of people and we know they make a lot of money by hooking people into contracts at the start of the year. It’s not uncommon to see many people out running on New Year’s Day, but are they still there after two months? Many years ago, I preached a message called “Living Beyond Good Intentions” because I realised that the majority of us start with good intentions; we create wonderful goals, but few have mastered the art of following through and sustaining their success. To be effective in life, we need to master the art of staying motivated. What was last year like for you? Did you stay motivated in all aspects of your life or did things change along the way? In this message I will share with you some tools from both the science and theology of motivation so that you can stay motivated this year.

Aim to achieve the goal God has set for you. Spare no cost in the quest. Spare no effort as you press toward the mark of knowing Christ. Pursue intimacy with God. One measure of maturity is the degree to which this pursuit becomes our consuming focus and desire. Nowhere are we more challenged to become a man/woman after God’s own heart than here.

God listens to our prayers. He pays attention to them. God is a good listener.

1 Peter 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer,

but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

John Vawter said, “The truth is, I interrupt because I like to control conversations. I want them to follow my agenda, to proceed at my pace, to end where I would like them to end. Because of that I am quick to speak…slow to listen.”

The enemy’s strategy has always been to tarnish that image. This is significant because we always live up to our self-concept. If I believe I am a cow, I will eat grass and “moo”. In doing life, it is important for us to have a healthy sense of identity. Many leaders fail because they lack self-awareness and are not in touch with who they are. It is important to understand that although we have different temperaments or behavioural profiles, we are still called to be Christlike. Many people make the mistake of glorifying their personalities. They continuously reject Christlikeness on the basis of their temperament or personality. Ephesians 4:15-16 "Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." We need to understand that the Holy Spirit helps us to manifest the emotions of Christ appropriately in the context of our own individual style. Throughout scripture we see people of different personality types being used greatly by God, some of them operated from their flesh whilst others were spirit controlled and led most of the time. In this message, I will give us an overview of the different behavioural preferences and temperaments demonstrating how to safeguard ourselves from the vices associated with them.

As mentioned in part 1, Cynicism is a defence mechanism our brain uses to actively protect us from disappointment and pain. I mentioned that a cynic tends to be sceptical, pessimistic, and distrustful of people's intentions, often expecting the worst in others and believing that people are likely to act in their own self-interest, even if it means harming others. The result of this is often, less satisfying relationships, anticipation of pain, resulting in anxiety and depression. We spoke about how our goal as believers is to remain in the Word and to abide in the truth. Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." In this message I will highlight the consequences of cynicism, including how it affects our relationships and the decisions we make. I will also explain how one can be free from cynicism.

It is important that every mindset and emotional state is viewed from a scriptural perspective and through such a lens. Cynicism is a toxic emotional state, which if left unchecked can become lethal. We need to know how to identify it in our lives and as leaders we need to know how to uproot it in our teams.

2 Corinthians 10:5: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

I am not suggesting that we go to the extreme of toxic positivity (denial about negative emotions – ignore and overide), but we are called to embrace truth in our inward parts and renew our minds to have an accurate view of God, ourselves, others and how the world works.

I keep emphasizing the importance of EQ. I was reflecting the other day how even the Incredible Hulk was somewhat aware of the impact his anger had on others. When David Bruce Banner would start turning into the Incredible Hulk he would say to his boss, “Mr McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. That’s self-awareness. Technically speaking when he became Hulk he was not that self-aware I guess. So we wont use him as our standard. I am grateful that Jesus modelled and taught high emotional intelligence. Jesus consistently demonstrated high emotional intelligence (EQ) in His teachings and interactions. In this message we will unpack verses where Jesus models and teaches emotional awareness, emotional expression, emotional management, social awareness, relationship management and motivation.

I will spend the first part of this message talking about the importance of EQ in scripture and also its complexity in order to build my case for starting with God’s EQ. When the Bible commands you to practise empathy there is no qualifier saying that it depends on your personality. Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." This is a command to practise empathy, not a suggestion. EQ is an essential capability for success in all aspects of life. Biblical EQ is a part of Christlikeness and something you can put on. You clothe yourself with it.