Goat & Glaze's Podcast

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The episode opens with Goat wearing a tuxedo shirt and Glaze in a party hat, setting a jokey tone as Glaze poses a scenario: would Goat rather have the power to make anyone's joints itch on command, or instantly materialize a handful of cooked spaghetti into anyone's pocket? Goat unhesitatingly chooses the pocket spaghetti, sparking absurd jokes about putting food near ICU patients to wake them up. Glaze also mentions that his planned guest failed to show up, though he admits he only reached out 45 minutes prior.

The pair then dive into nostalgia about growing up in the 1990s. Glaze recalls getting dropped off at Discovery Zone at the Dayton Mall, describing it as a chaotic, lawless play area where kids ran wild and got peed on in plastic tunnels. Goat shares his contrasting upbringing in small-town South Carolina, where "Discovery Zone" was just staying home alone at twelve years old to babysit and cook meals. They laugh about the normalized dangers of their childhoods, from being left inside hot parked cars to the exaggerated elementary school fears of quicksand and catching on fire.

The nostalgia continues as they discuss local hangouts. Goat recounts going to a rough skating rink with a potholed cement floor where kids were left unsupervised until pickup time, while Glaze recalls the chaotic arcade room at "Skater's World." Goat shares a story about his strict grandfather leaving him behind at middle school if he wasn't outside by 3:10 PM, forcing him to walk across town. Glaze brings up having a basic pager in high school, though it was largely useless without accessible payphones. They close by recalling sketchy local corner stores—where Glaze once saw a kid snort a Pixie Stix off a wooden handrail, and Goat used to take handwritten notes and food stamp books to buy bologna and cigarettes for his mom. They wrap up the show by planning their outfits for the next episode and signing off with their co-host Corbin.

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The boys are back—and for the first time ever, they’re holding down the fort from separate locations! Goat and Glaze kick things off with a little holiday cheer in July, an impromptu whiskey-and-vodka brunch, and an update on Goat’s ongoing "unplanned retirement."

Things quickly derail in classic Goat & Glaze fashion as they discuss:

• The Ultimate Flex (or Fail): Glaze’s latest watch pickup, a guy rocking two watches at once, and a terrible idea for the official "Goat & Glaze" watch line.
• Public Nuisances: Encountering a guy watching a "how-to-eat-a-jelly-croissant" tutorial on full speaker volume in the middle of a grocery store.
• Tech Traps: Why cell phones might actually be a health hazard and why Hook needs to hang onto his prepaid burner phone.
• Goat’s Chronicle: Goat takes us back to his roots, sharing wild childhood memories of taking Sunday family dinners inside a prison yard—and the time a fresh ex-con almost took him out over a truck tow gone wrong.

Grab a drink (brunch or otherwise), hit play, and hang out with the weirdest duo on the mic!

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We are now on YouTube!!!

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Goat and Glaze celebrate making the list of the top 25 weirdest podcasts in the United States, landing at number 22. They are joined remotely by their new collaborator, Hooker, who calls into the show while completely checked out and relaxing on a beach. The trio leans heavily into their signature "Trifecta of Fuckery" theme—defined by the mantra "Fuck This, Fuck That, Fuck You"—as Glaze rants about workplace scheduling math and details a hilarious gaslighting prank he pulled on his coworkers by hiding in a hallway box and deleting his call logs. The crew wraps up the episode by sharing chaotic, legendary stories of wasting scammers' time with Google images of burning houses and recalling a bizarre restaurant incident involving an unforgettable plating mishap. Tasty?

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In Season 3, Episode 9 of the Goat and Glaze podcast, Goat and Glaze are joined by Corbin, who now serves as their "official unofficial producer." The crew discusses a variety of eccentric topics, including paying their production staff in pesos and bananas, the tragic story of a bullied monkey, and the strange behavior of pandas. The conversation highlights the absurd disconnect between expectation and reality, especially when assuming details without explicit confirmation, as illustrated by Glaze's experiences. Following this theme of unexpected results, Glaze shares a humorous yet horrifying story from his adult life about nearly accidentally killing himself after trying to run a window AC unit inside his apartment by setting it on a table. The hosts wrap up by addressing frustrating and entitled behavior in others, leading into a spirited "Double Side of Rant" segment.

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In Season 3, Episode 8 of the Goat and Glaze podcast, titled "Double Entendre," hosts Goat and Glaze are joined by Corbin for a high-energy session that kicks off with Glaze expressing extreme frustration over a technical failure that lost their previous 48-minute recording. The crew explores dark comedic territory regarding the afterlife, debating the lack of modern ghosts and jokingly suggesting that "ghost jobs" have a hierarchy where poor performance leads to being reincarnated as something insignificant. They introduce the "Trifecta of Fucks" segment for their friend "Hooker" and Glaze recounts stories from high school, including a protest against a book on Hinduism and the absurdity of being disciplined for "talking" to a deaf classmate using sign language. Wrapping up with a story about a friend in prison embracing paganism, the trio announces an upcoming move to YouTube to bring their unfiltered "factual" truths to a video format.

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Dragons, Dinosaurs, and Distrust

In this episode of the Goat and Glaze podcast, the hosts tear down the wall between "conspiracy" and "truth." What starts with a confession about "bouncing dirt" off people quickly spirals into a heated debate about why dragons are actually real—and why the government is using dinosaur skeletons to hide them.

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Slapping Oil, Disgruntled Daves, and Bathroom Battles

In this hilariously chaotic episode of Goat and Glaze, the guys settle in with some Gentleman Jack to trade stories from the front lines of parenting, prison slang, and the high-stakes world of hospitality.

From decoding what it means to "slap the oil" to making public restrooms as uncomfortable as humanly possible, this episode is a masterclass in the "basic fucked up" nature of daily life.

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In this episode of the podcast, the hosts (including Goat) are joined by a special guest, Korben, for a chaotic and humorous discussion that blends conspiracy theories, personal anecdotes, and a satirical deep dive into the origin of the alphabet.

Key Highlights

• The Alphabet "Conspiracy": The central theme of the episode is a tongue-in-cheek exploration of the alphabet. After "fact-checking" via Google, the hosts conclude that because the alphabet evolved over thousands of years from various scripts (Proto-Sinaitic, Phoenician, Greek) rather than being invented by one person at one time, it is essentially "not real"—comparing it humorously to the moon landing.
• The "Gospel of Goat": Goat shares a "sermon" he wrote previously, titled "The Charlie Brown Life." It outlines the "Goat Experience," which is defined by three spiritual forces: The Woes (constant small failures), The Karma (the feeling of catching up on unknown debt), and Unjust Randomness (being the "chosen one" for things to go wrong). He uses Charlie Brown’s football and the kite-eating tree as metaphors for persistent hope in the face of certain disappointment.
• The Car Wash Confrontation: Goat recounts a recent awkward experience at a local car wash. While waiting for the power to be restored, he told a young employee that the local high school football team "sucked," only to find out the employee was actually a player on the field. True to the "Goat Experience," after receiving free washes for the trouble, the car wash dryer failed, leaving his car soaked.
• Korben's Role: Throughout the episode, Korben acts as the "hinged man" to the hosts' high-energy antics, often reacting with silence or disdain to their bizarre logic and jokes about his heritage (calling him a "human panda" due to his mixed background).