Goldie Lookin Chain

It’s Dry January. Sort of. Eggsy’s on a “massive can”, Rhys is insisting he is sober, and Producer Paul is spiritually broken after poisoning himself on New Year’s Eve. Together, Rhys & Eggs kick off what may or may not be the first podcast of 2026 ever made, and immediately derail into cans, colours of alcohol, and why mixing drinks will absolutely ruin your life. What follows is a deep, dangerous dive into old press interviews from 2009, fan Q&As that should never have been answered, and proof that the internet used to just print anything you told it.

New Single out now

• People were younger in 2009 than they are now
• Mixing drink colours is a medical disaster
• Charity shops peaked in the early 2000s
• If you can smell your own balls, something has gone wrong
• Press interviews were better when journalists didn’t fact-check

• 🍺 Dry January chat (aka Can-uary, Dry-Jan-Except-Lager, and “I’ll start on the 13th”)
• 🎵 Talking the new GLC song Dry Jan — shot on a phone, in a cricket club, featuring Eggsy’s dad
• 📉 Proof that cheaper videos = better songs
• 📰 Revisiting a cursed 2009 Female First interview that somehow still exists online
• 🧥 How to dress like GLC (answer: charity shops, nosy women, skid-marked pants)
• 🍞 Gourmet recipes including Bread & Salt and eating your own snot
• 🎬 Who should play GLC in a film (spoiler: Ian Lavender from Dad’s Army)
• 🚌 Tour memories involving hangovers, northern train stations, frozen feet, and no food
• 🧠 Admitting that for the first five years of the band, everything said to the press was a lie
• 🎤 The best and worst things about touring (mostly smells, buses, and balls)
• 🗑️ Why charity shops are dead and Vinted ruined everything
• 🎭 David Bowie impressions nobody asked for
• 🛑 A firm reminder at the end: don’t kill dogs

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Strap in as the boys revisit:

• 🚌 Tour bus poo-bag etiquette (“feel the weight, boys!”)
• 😂 Bouncy castle death traps at Exeter Uni
• 🧼 Towel-obsessed tour managers
• 🇺🇸 Getting stoned before US visa interviews
• ✈️ New York madness at the Roger Smith Hotel
• 🔥 Los Angeles apartments, dressing gowns & room-service marathons
• 🎤 Robbie Williams asking to join GLC (denied)
• 🍖 Chicago meat feasts + Mike’s teeth falling out mid-steak
• 🤝 Meeting Cliff from the Flaming Lips
• 🎸 Ash turning up at gigs and loving the carnage
• 🥵 Discovering that human beings actually need water
• 🕺 A Riverdance lad trying (and failing) to impress in a dive bar
• 🤣 Adam’s poo-vomit ritual explained (sadly)

Plus: Willie Nelson / Willie Thorne confusion, American salad buffets from hell, and Misty believing for 18 straight months that a mysterious bearded man wanted to interview him.

If you’ve ever thought, “What was it REALLY like when GLC cracked America?” — this is the episode. Spoiler: America wasn’t ready.

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Eggsy and Adam (later Rhys) crack open a warm tour can and take us on a magical mystery ride through the 2025 GLC tour:

• Manchester – Misty appears like the Welsh Elton John, crowd goes absolutely batshit, and some bloke called Dom drinks alone in the dressing room.
• Kendall – Chef chops off half his finger and bleeds all over the fish and chips. Very rock ’n’ roll.
• Margate – The boys drink in a pub that might be called “The Bag o’ Buckets” or something. Adam goes home early for Bullseye.
• Bexhill – Eggsy has a pre-show dinner of ice cream followed by a Pot Noodle. Athlete.
• Newcastle – Ladyboys of Bangkok next door; Billy does 10 poos; someone gets smashed in a beer hall; Rhys injures his leg after two songs and ends up being medically laughed at by NHS staff.
• Hull – A pub so terrifying even GLC walk straight back out.
• Nottingham – Longest graffiti penis ever documented.
• Exmouth to Falmouth – Trego Mills nearly causes a religious experience. Pete Doherty’s dog exposes its luminous anus.
• Frome – Adam once performed an entire gig four seconds behind reality.
• Bridgend – The beer tastes like farts and everyone has to move dressing rooms mid-gig.
• Ipswich – The lads stay up late watching a sci-fi porno on Talking Pictures TV that scarred them spiritually.
• Oxford – Beef pie dream achieved; Adam pukes on his own poo and is reborn stronger.
• Reading – Full English served in a bowl, ghost made of glittery smoke appears in the corridor.
• Southampton – The boys all fall asleep on sofas and Adam makes a tiny mouse-squeak in his sleep that becomes the highlight of the tour.
• Another place – Venue staff demand an extra 15 minutes of rapping; GLC politely refuse and drink heavily at a golf club instead.

The boys close with a reminder that next year’s tour is Stairway to Newport, featuring their ongoing search for the mythical perfect steak and ale pie — roaring fire, pub dog (but not one with worms), proper ale, shortcrust pastry, the lot.

This episode is 55 minutes of pure Newport chaos that you’ll never get back — but you’ll be glad you spent it.

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The boys revisit the gigs, label meetings, disasters, breakthroughs, and bowel incidents that shaped their early career. From supporting The Darkness and Snow Patrol to cramming eight grown men into a seven-seater van, this is the unfiltered story of how GLC went from Newport practice rooms to major label showcases.

• How the band formed and started gigging
• The first showcases and nearly getting management
• Playing with The Streets, Snow Patrol, Jurassic Five, and more

• The infamous gig supporting The Darkness
• Audience abuse, flying bottles, and a man who later emailed to apologise
• Why a gig where everyone hates you is the best training possible

• Touring in a 7-seater with 8 people
• The legendary briefcase (yes, that one)
• Skinning up while driving
• Someone always lying on the floor by the sliding door
• The moment they upgraded to a “proper” sleeper bus

• Why you can’t poo on a tour bus
• The bin-bag method (don’t ask… but we explain it anyway)
• Throwing things out the back window on the motorway
• How to wake up desperate for a toilet in a strange city

• Meetings with Sony, Atlantic, EMI, and Super Furry Animals’ label
• The good exec (Corder Marshall) vs. the other one (allegedly an arsehole)
• The moment they learned: if we quit right now, we can keep the money
• A marketing guy discussing someone’s bald spot at Soho House
• Why the band nearly disbanded for the cash

• Releasing “Half Man, Half Machine”
• Charting at #32
• The C-3PO knitted outfit
• Naming the debut album “Greatest Hits” because of course they did

• Human poo at The Oracle in Reading
• A Nando’s sauce-mixing masterclass
• Newport’s obsession with Ocean Pacific jumpers
• A record cover idea involving rolling joints on a gatefold sleeve
• Jumping into bins outside Soho House
• Someone almost having a heart attack in Sony’s toilet

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“The First Gigs, Terrible Contracts & Farts That Smell of Piss”

In this gloriously shambolic deep dive, the GLC boys look back at their very early days: doomed record deals, weed-filled office meetings, their first ever gigs, and the chaotic rise from Newport cult heroes to nearly-signed superstars. From skipping CD players in TJ’s to flip-flop disasters in Manchester, it’s a full, unfiltered blast of nostalgia and bodily functions.

• 💿 The terrible record deal they were first offered (“less money than the dole”)
• 🥇 Meeting Gut Records, Hut Records, and the legendary “Gary from Hut”
• 🚬 Smoking weed in record label offices while legal teams panicked
• 📝 Signing their big Atlantic Records deal (and spilling Burger King everywhere)
• 🎤 The first ever GLC gig at the Welsh Club:
• 200-capacity room
• 100+ person guestlist
• Tickets reselling for £45–£100
• A room so packed it felt like a zombie movie
• 🩴 Misty’s legendary flip-flop disasters (multiple incidents!)
• 🎟 The rider: 50 scratch cards — and the gambling spiral that followed
• 🎶 Chaos at TJ’s: skipping CD players, makeshift repairs, and heroic stage dives
• 🤝 Early management, Atomic Kitten tribute acts, and meeting the future team
• 🎤 Joe Strummer appearances and bizarre backstage moments
• 💨 The infamous fart that “smelled of piss”

• The band training for gigs by standing in a circle passing Lambrini around
• Misty falling over a chair, farting, and landing on a can of Strongbow at once
• A mysterious child on stage skinning up mid-performance
• The credit card that “appeared from nowhere” and was used for months
• Crowds so dense the band couldn’t leave the dressing room to pee
• Stage diving behind a wall because the venue layout made no sense

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Oi oi! We’re packing our bags (badly), hitting the road for 20 dates of pure chaos, and arguing about whether Shoe Zone is secretly Clarks. Expect new trackies, dodgy hangover cures, catchphrase wars, and the unforgettable tale of the time Kate Winslet’s dad turned up at our smelliest gig ever. Tours, farts, and cider – it’s the GLC way. Get your tickets here You knows it!

Tickets http://youknowsit.co.uk/tickets

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Boom! It’s time for another **phat slice of audio gold** with the **Goldie Lookin Chain Goldie Lookin Podcast**, this time featuring scratch cards, bangers, and banter**.

We kick off by unveiling our **very own GLC scratch card game** – it’s like the lottery, but with more swearing and less disappointment (probably). Then we get all deep and meaningful about our **legendary album ‘The Manifesto’**, aka the sacred text of tracksuits and truth.

There’s bare **stories from the studio**, tales of **beats that nearly killed us**, and songs that were born after a curry at 3am. Expect **laughs, wisdom, dodgy memories**, and that sweet GLC camaraderie that smells faintly of pink wine and Lynx Java.

Tune in, get learned, and remember: it’s not just a podcast, it’s a way of life. **You knows it.**

podcast, comedy, hip hop, The Manifesto, album, music, humor, storytelling, tracks

BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON

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Strap in for another bangin episode of the **Golden Looking Chain Podcast**, where your favourite lyrical legends are scratchin more than just vinyl. We kick things off with a scratch card - that’s right, we do the gambling so you don't lose your nan's pension.

Then it’s **Q\&A time**. Fans hit us up with the deep ones: how we write them, what it’s like smellin’ each other on tour (spoiler: Lynx Africa ain't magic), and whether fame's all it's cracked up to be (hint: it mostly involves horrible food and paranoia).

We even dive headfirst into a **heavyweight debate** about the **UK's best motorway services**—Tebay vs. Gloucester, fight me.

Expect **deep chats, bad jokes, and musical wisdom**. It’s like therapy, but with more tracksuits and less cryin’. Safe.

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Here we are in Cardiff spanking the hospitality budget and talking about Adam Hussain's Truth or Slander:

Intro

Nan Jam (Feat Adam's Nan)

Chain Gang

21 Ounces

To All The People

Dog Porn

New & Improved

Number One

Delivery Driver

Half Man Half Machine

#youknowsit

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Billy Webb, Mike Balls and Rhys from GLC roll through more Goldie Lookin Chan classics

1 Fick Brothers Live

2 Draw Club

3 I Want My GLC

4 Mike Balls Soccer Anthem

5 Roller Disco

6 Monkey Love

7 Silver Shadow

8 Eggsies Lament

9 Duffryn Vigilante Squad

10 Sexy Ladies

11 Shit Yourself

12 Doppleganger

13 Metal

#YouKnowsIt

BECOME A MEMBER OF THE GOLDIE LOOKIN PODCAST ON PATREON

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