Good Dads Podcast

We continue talking to Frank Tristan about parent involvement and how having humility can go a long way in any situation in life.

Frank has been teaching and coaching for the last 20 years and loves the opportunity to invest in young people. He and his wife Natalie were married in 2008 and have two children, Hays and Taylor. They are regularly involved in church and love experiencing new adventures with their family. As a dad and an educator, it is easy to see how important the role of a father is in raising successful young people. When dads lead well, generations are impacted. This passion has led Frank to work with the Good Dads organization to see more families and communities impacted for good.

Show Notes

• (5:10) I’m creating a culture of family 

• (5:54) I’ve gotta give your wife a break. You’re a parent just as much as she is. 

• (11:04 ) Kids will really respect when they know that you care about them and they know that you’re genuine. 

• (12:17) There was a new connection when I apologized to him. Same thing in parenting: We can all go too far sometimes. 

• (18:49) Whatever makes me mad on Monday had better make me mad Friday… it’s a consistent line. 

• (20:16) The opposite of love is selfishness 

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The Good Dads Blog 

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Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

Frank Tristan, head football coach at Glendale High School, father, and husband, talks about the balance of being a coach and a parent in this Part One episode.

Frank has been teaching and coaching for the last 20 years and loves the opportunity to invest in young people. He and his wife Natalie were married in 2008 and have two children, Hays and Taylor. They are regularly involved in church and love experiencing new adventures with their family. As a dad and an educator, it is easy to see how important the role of a father is in raising successful young people. When dads lead well, generations are impacted. This passion has led Frank to work with the Good Dads organization to see more families and communities impacted for good.

Show Notes

• (1:32) Parents are great, they are. Most of them just want their kid to be successful.

• (4:26) What my kids respond to is giving them honest praise on things they can control.

• (5:05) I just tell my kids that “if you want to stop playing sports now, I still love you.”

• (10:05) The thing you can control is your effort and attitude, so that’s how I’m gonna judge if I’m proud of you or not. 

• (12:47) You’re not gonna bash your coach in front of me… that’s not good for the team, and you’re not gonna bash other teammates. 

• (13:07)  The best thing a parent can do is tell the coach “thank you.”

• (15:30): One of the things I think is always important as a coach to parent/parent to coach is talk about it in person.

• (22:25): If you’re not sleeping on a regular basis, your body’s out of whack, you’re not gonna reach your full potential…your body’s gonna wear down.

Resources

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The Good Dads Blog 

gooddads.com 

Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

Frank Tristan, head football coach at Glendale High School, husband, and father, talks about the rewarding aspects of coaching and his "ABC" technique (Ask, Balance, and Competitive).

Frank has been teaching and coaching for the last 20 years and loves the opportunity to invest in young people. He and his wife Natalie were married in 2008 and have two children, Hays and Taylor. They are regularly involved in church and love experiencing new adventures with their family. As a dad and an educator, it is easy to see how important the role of a father is in raising successful young people. When dads lead well, generations are impacted. This passion has led Frank to work with the Good Dads organization to see more families and communities impacted for good.

Show Notes

• (1:16) Guest Introduction 

• (3:00) In high school and college both my coaches were influential. My dad was obviously so important, but those guys cemented who I wanted to be in life, and I was like ‘Man, I could do that, that would be awesome and rewarding.’

• (5:22) Definitely the homerun I think in coaching or any coach would say that kid that maybe doesn’t have the support at home and you connect with him and you see him develop. That’s been the most rewarding. 

• (8:43) It’s the growing pain you have as a parent, the same thing. You want those kids to do so well, like “What are you thinking?”

• (9:10) At the end of the day, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. Once you’ve done it a little bit with some length to it, you realize ‘it’ll all work out.’ We just have to be consistent. 

• (10:04) ‘A’ stands for ‘Ask.’ We just ask our kids… 

• (11:36) ‘B’ stands for ‘Balance.’ We want to keep balance in it…

• (12:50) ‘C’ stands for ‘Competitive.’ … If you’re going to do something, you’ve gotta be your best… you’ve gotta work hard and want to compete. 

• (16:21) One of the things I’m working at, but my wife is very good at, is the ability to say no

• (19:00) You’d better be in it for the kids, because that’s gonna be a lot more rewarding than just “hey, I want to win a game."

• (22:07) I think it’s so important that kids understand their identity is not in a sport, and that’s a scary thing when kids get wrapped up in only their approval of how good they can hit a baseball or kick a soccer ball or spike a volleyball. That gets really dangerous. 

• (23:53) That’s why sports are so great, you have so many great qualities come from being in a sport. A lot of employers are going to hire employees that have been in sports. They know they can overcome adversity. It’s incredible. 

Resources

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The Good Dads Blog 

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Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch jump into the third installment on the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children. 

Preschool-age children do not have the capacity to regulate their emotions as grown-ups, and some children throw more tantrums than others. One of the best way to avoid the potential meltdown is for dads to give choices: It offers leeway to strong-willed children so they can feel they have some control over their situation. By negotiating and getting down on your child's level, parents can teach their children to manage their behavior. In fact, managing children is far more about teaching parents to manage their own behavior above all else.

Show Notes

• (3:08) If you know a tantrum is likely to happen in the grocery store ... where they want something and you're not going to get that thing for them, then I would say, first of all, avoid taking them to the store.
• (4:26) Try to forestal those tests of the will, especially the ones that you're going to lose—because you can't make a child chew and swallow. 
• (7:22) So the worst case-case scenario is to give into this ... Sometimes you know, you're tired or you want them to just be quiet, so you just be like, "Ok, fine, three donuts, just get out of my face."
• (10:03) Usually tantrums happen around a particular setting.
• (11:32) You gotta understand—we've all had moments when we're not in a good space, and really, we just need a nap and a snack.
• (12:58) That's the thing, though. Kids know when you're exhausted. They know! ... They just sense it.

Resources 

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The Good Dads Blog 

gooddads.com 

Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

Join us this week in the Good Dads studio as founder and director Dr. Jennifer Baker and J Fotsch talk about the challenges and joys of parenting a 4- and 5-year-old children. 

This period of life is marked by inquisitiveness and unfiltered honesty. It's certainly true that they say the darndest things! These youngsters are at their peak of innocence, but they're also very in tune with potential tensions between Mom and Dad.

Your kids are always watching and listening. They're absorbing what their parents say and do, so we talk about the important ways that dads can lead by example.

Show Notes

• (1:35) By the time children are 4 and 5 years old, you can relax a little.
• (8:39) That's when you hear parents talking about, "Oh man, it's so hard, and I'm so tired, but it's worth it." And you're like, "Really?" And before, when I didn't have kids, I'm like, "Is it? It doesn't sound worth it."
• (9:09) Write down what your kids say. Write down those little moments because later on, you'll want to remember those.
• (11:30) Researchers were so surprised to find was that the children (starting Kindergarten) were so much more aware of what was going on in the couple's relationship than the parents thought.
• (13:35) Your kids' emotional health is very much tied up in how well you two (the parents) are getting along.
• (15:06) By four or five, your child has been observing you for four or five years. They are accustomed to the tone of your voice, the expression on your face. They have a pretty good idea of how you're going to react to certain things. They know you.
• (15:31) Being a girl dad, (I'm) making sure I give the example of how I treat her mom. That's how I want her to be treated when she's at the dating age ... Like when I kiss my wife in front of her and she goes, "Ew, that's gross."

Resources 

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The Good Dads Blog 

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Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

Are children master manipulators, or just trying to get their way? Is it okay to have night-time snacks? What's a dad to do when his child disobeys, turning on the TV after bedtime? Join us this week with J Fotsch and Dr. Jennifer Baker as we cover common questions for dads of four- and five-year-olds, including bedtimes, sugary snacks, discipline, pretend-crying and more.

Show Notes

• (2:14) I try to tell (my daughter) when I know she's fake-crying, or fake-whining. She does that very, very good. I tell her, I say, "Do you know something? I know when you're not really crying—that you're fake crying—and I also know when you're pouting and you're trying to get something. So let's not do that."
• (3:38) Many times adults make the mistake of thinking a child thinks the way they do. And they don't! A child (who's) maybe 4 or 5 has very concrete thinking.
• (6:08) Let's say that you want a cookie ... There's no reason you shouldn't get that cookie. And you're gonna try to figure out any way that you can to get that cookie. And if something works—and has worked—like crying or whining or begging or whatever, then you're going to do it as long as you can to see if it works.
• (7:26) If you reward the behavior that you don't want to see, by giving in, giving the cookie ... then you're likely to see more of that behavior because it worked.
• (10:15) When you smile, children know really they've lost the battle. It's like, when we (parents) get angry ... it's like throwing a pebble in a puddle. You got a reaction there. Alright, let's see if I can throw a bigger pebble. Ok, now I really got you going! Look at you, your face is all red.
• (13:41) You can't tell a child to sleep. Have you ever tried that? It doesn't work.
• (18:42) Most parents could make their lives much easier if they have a routine and they stick to that routine. Kids love routine. They feel safe in routine.

Resources 

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The Good Dads Blog 

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Questions or comments? Reach out to Good Dads at [email protected].

We welcome back Bre Tyger, Community Alignment Specialist from Family Connects, a program new to Springfield, MO. We cover the difference between "baby blues" and postpartum depression, and how it affects both Mom and Dad. A phenomenon of ongoing sadness in the days after your bundle of joy arrives is common and normal, but in general medical experts say the "baby blues" might begin to be classified as post-partum depression if the feelings persist beyond 2-3 weeks. Dads can get some form of post-partum depression, too, in as many as 10% of new dads.

CORRECTION:  After the recording concluded, Bre asked us to tell our listeners that post-partum depression occurs somewhere between 1 in 5 OR 1 in 3 new moms; that's between 20% and 33%.

Our Guest: Bre Tyger

Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.

Show Notes 

• (2:21) One thing I have seen commonly (in post-partum women) is difficulty bonding with the baby and attachment. They were so excited to have their baby, so excited when they first had Baby and brought them home, but suddenly they're saying, "I don't feel connected to my baby." They're having a hard time taking care of Baby; maybe they're having a hard time getting out of bed ... or having a hard time getting any good sleep.
• (4:38) It can feel like your fault—or like you need to do something to make it better—but post-partum depression is really not your fault. And it's not something that women choose
• (9:31) It's a big load for the dad to carry. Dads can feel a pressure of providing for their family. They have the normal pressure of providing for their family but now you wife is struggling, and you have this baby that you don't know what to do with or how to care for. That can be a lot of stress for the dad to carry. Some dads tend to take care of others before themselves, so they can also become sleep deprived; they can also forget to eat meals and those basic things to do to take care of themselves.
• (18:14) (Post-partum depression) can occur at any time in the year after Baby is born. That may not always be recognized.

Resources

Family Connects Website

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The Good Dads blog 

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To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at [email protected].

This week on the podcast, we welcome to the studio Bre Tyger, a public health nurse and Community Alignment Specialist with Family Connects, an international program new to the area. Join us as Bre discusses how she helps new parents, observant youngsters, the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) nutritionist program, and encouraging new, first-time dads to be involved in the lives of their infants. 

Our Guest: Bre Tyger

Bre Tyger is a Registered Nurse and serves as the Community Alignment Specialist for Springfield Greene County Health Department’s Family Connects program. Family Connects is a free universal nurse home visiting program with a goal of providing support for families of newborns. Bre has worked in community and public health and the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit most of her career and loves helping set families up for success. She has been married to her husband for 15 years and together they have two wonderful children.

Show Notes 

• (4:13) As a public health nurse with the health department, we get to see people where they are. We currently go into their homes. We can have real conversations with them ... and meet them where they're at. I think, sometimes in a hospital environment it's kind of hard to see what's going on ... or what you really need.
• (9:15) It's hard to connect with dads (during pre-natal and post-partum appointments, when Dad is often at work), and we do really like working with Mom and Dad because both of them are providing support for this family and this infant. Both are an important part in their lives. 
• (20:57) Nobody really knows how to be a parent before they're a parent. You can do all the preparation, you can take classes, you can see other people doing it. But every baby is different, and every scenario is different ... every experience is unique.

Resources

Family Connects Website

Sign up for the Good Dads Newsletter and never miss a podcast! 

The Good Dads blog 

gooddads.com

To be put in touch with Bre regarding the Advisory Committee with Family Connects, reach out to us at [email protected].

Dana and Christina Ford have a full house with a teenager, elementary schoolers and preschoolers. Join us for a conversation originally recorded in 2021 with the Fords as the blended family navigates the important transitions inherent in father-son relationships as Dana entered his step-son's life when he was 8 years old. Dana and Christina give advice for step-parents and differentiate their approaches to parenting versus step-parenting. We also talk about the first-baby nerves, anticipating your partner's needs and raising un-selfish children.

Our Guests: Husband and Wife Dana and Christina Ford

Christina Ford is the president and founder of Rebound Foundation, a nonprofit whose mission is to end the cycle of abuse through safe transitional ​housing for women and children, and educating youth to prevent violence.

Dana Ford has been the men's head baseketball coach at Missouri State University since 2018. He transitioned from Bachelor to Husband and to Father quickly.

The Fords are parents to five, and one in Heaven.

Show Notes 

• (8:09) I was the single parent for eight years, and I was very independent. I was Mom, and I went to school, and I worked. I was in a very independent role, and my idea of when we were going to come together was, you know, "Was I still going to be this independent force?" I was really keen into that. I was going to have my own thing, my own title ... I didn't have to ask someone else, "How should we do this?" or "What decision should be made?" It was always just me making the decision.
• (13:29) We do not parent all of our children the same. Just like I don't coach all my players the same. One of the most important things that you have to learn—is you have to learn your people. That means you have to learn your children individually, same way I do with my players. You have to spend time with them, communicate with them and observe them. 
• (14:44) If you listen, people will tell you who they are.
• (19:31) One of the biggest adjustments was the fact that, due to COVID, there was no support system of Mom, sister, right? I mean, I'm always used to mother-in-law and sister-in-law being there, and them doing the heavy lifting.
• (25:50) If you want to conquer something you have to stay united, but we (as parents) conquer by dividing sometimes.
• (27:42) So many (us) can get selfish, and be about "me, me, me." Hopefully because they see us and come from a larger family (our children grow to) understand that it's not always about you.

Resources

• Sign up for our newsletter to never miss a podcast! 
• The Good Dads Blog 
• gooddads.com
• The Rebound Foundation

This week we're happy to welcome Tim Lewis to the studio, a first-time dad to a four-month-old. Join us as Tim shares the scary story of when baby Ophelia got sick with RSV around the end of last year. After initially going to Mercy in Springfield, doctors later needed to airlift Ophelia to an ER in Kansas City. Tim also provides his wisdom for new parents and discusses the importance of being on the same page to work collaboratively with your partner. 

Our Guest: Tim Lewis 

Tim Lewis is a barber by occupation and is a new dad to Ophelia, who was born in September 2023. Tim, his wife, Chelsea, Ophelia and Boone the dog live in Rogersville, MO. For a long time, Tim and Chelsea never imagined wanting kids, but their attitudes changed in their early 40s.

Show Notes

• (4:28) My advice to younger people is: If you're not sure, enjoy your youth a little bit. Your freedom is minimized once you have a child.
• (6:10) She developed a little bit of a cough, and we just kept an eye on it. And then it was, like, 'Nah, she needs to go do the doctor.' And they basically test kids just like they do for COVID. It's a pretty quick little swab.
• (9:33) I wasn't afraid for her life—I really felt she would be okay—but when the flight nurses came in and basically strapped my 13-pound child to a gurney-looking thing and took her away ... Which, my wife was with her, but, you know, it was just terrifying.
• (17:55) She's always a pretty happy kid. She really started all that at about three months. But she's also a very impatient, cranky child ... How do you go from grinning at me, and two seconds later you're squalling?!

Resources 

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The Good Dads Blog 

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