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Good Girl Deprogramming
Good Girl Deprogramming episodes
- 12 - From Rebel Woman to Raising Rebels with Jo Phillips
Episode 12 - From Rebel Woman to Raising Rebels with Jo Phillips
In this episode, host Michelle Minnikin welcomes Jo Phillips to the Good Girl Deprogramming podcast. Together, they delve into the journey from societal expectations to authentic self-expression, highlighting the challenges women face in corporate environments and how they can reclaim their power. Jo shares her experiences of breaking free from “Good Girl Conditioning,” championing leverage and confidence, and coaching other women to find their voices and build meaningful careers.
Jo’s early career was in the recruitment and staffing industry with market leaders such as Staffline, Kelly, and Adecco, where she headed Adecco’s sales academy. She later transitioned to a national role in learning and development, researching, designing, and delivering training through mediums like classroom, online, and face-to-face sessions.
With over 23,000 hours of training delivered, Jo specialises in onboarding, legislation, sales cycles, recruitment, management, and leadership. She has trained trainers to become confident, authentic facilitators and designed curricula to support women’s career advancement.
Jo is a coach and mentor to senior leaders, acting as a confidential sounding board and critical friend. Her passion for empowering women is evident in her work, particularly through programmes like inHerSpark, which focuses on accelerating women’s careers. This initiative enhances retention by providing specialist development at critical career points, enabling women to excel within their organisations.
Recognised for her inclusive, knowledgeable, and open approach, Jo coaches women to achieve their potential. In the past year alone, her clients saw an average salary increase of 39%, with the highest increase reaching £70,000.
Jo is a gold-level facilitator for Google’s #IamRemarkable initiative and collaborates with award-winning software, Fintech, and FTSE 100 companies. Based in the UK, she is a devoted mother to a preteen son, an avid reader, and a passionate advocate for diversity and inclusion. Jo frequently speaks at events and podcasts, continuously researching the challenges women face in their careers.
What we talk about:
- 1:16 – Michelle welcomes Jo Phillips, sharing how their connection was fatefully suggested by multiple people.
- 1:54 – Jo discusses taking the Good Girl Quiz and proudly identifying as a “Rebel Woman.”
- 4:37 – Jo reflects on her early corporate career, shaped by societal expectations that limited her confidence.
- 8:23 – A missed promotion becomes Jo’s wake-up call, revealing the importance of self-promotion.
- 10:43 – Jo discovers a 40% pay gap in her role and boldly negotiates for fair compensation.
- 15:55 – Jo highlights how workplace U-turns, like ending hybrid work, disproportionately affect women.
- 17:56 – Jo shares her current focus: coaching women to reclaim confidence and articulate their value.
- 23:54 – Michelle and Jo discuss the critical role of self-promotion and leveraging networks for success.
- 28:35 – Jo challenges listeners to envision their ideal life and reverse engineer the steps to achieve it.
Follow Jo on social media:
Website - https://thewomanbehindthewomen.com/
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jo-p-thewomanbehindthewomen/
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
34 min - 11 - Writing, Good Girl Conditioning, and Too Muchness with Nicola Humber
Episode 11 - Writing, Good Girl Conditioning, and Too Muchness with Nicola Humber
In this special episode to celebrate the first anniversary of Good Girl Deprogramming, Michelle sits down with her publisher, Nicola Humber.
Whether you’re dreaming of writing a book or simply want to live more authentically, this episode is packed with insights and inspiration to help you break free from societal expectations and unleash your full potential.
Nicola Humber is the author of three transformational books, Heal Your Inner Good Girl , UNBOUND and Unbound Writing and creator of the #unbound365 journal. She's also the founder of The Unbound Press, a soul-led publishing imprint for unbound women.
After playing the archetypal good girl up until her mid-thirties, Nicola left her 'proper' job in finance to retrain as a coach and hypnotherapist and this leap of faith led her to what she does now: activating recovering good girls to embrace their so-called imperfections and shake off the tyranny of 'shoulds', so they can be their fullest, freest, most magnificent selves.
Nicola helps women to write the book their Unbound Self is calling them to write, whilst growing a community of soul-family readers and clients.
She's also the host of The Unbound Writer's Club podcast.
What we talk about:
2:30 – Nicola’s Journey - from corporate life to founding The Unbound Press
Nicola reflects on her path from the structured corporate world to creating The Unbound Press, a space where women’s unique voices and stories are celebrated.
4:51 – The Myth of the Linear Writing Process
Both Michelle and Nicola debunk the myth that writing a book is a linear process, explaining how life’s ebbs and flows shape creative journeys.
6:07 – Embracing Cyclical Creativity
They discuss how embracing natural cycles—seasonal, lunar, and menstrual—can help women let go of rigid productivity expectations.
8:12 – Fear of Criticism
Nicola opens up about the internal battle many writers face, from questioning their worth to fearing judgment from readers.
10:32 – Turning Criticism into Content
Michelle and Nicola share personal experiences of dealing with negative reviews and turning them into opportunities for reflection and growth.
13:36 – Pleasing Everyone vs. Authenticity
They explore the dangers of seeking universal approval, explaining how authenticity resonates more deeply with the right audience.
16:42 – Reconnecting with Your Body and Cycles
Nicola highlights the importance of listening to your body and cycles, breaking free from the linear productivity models that dominate workplaces.
20:21 – The Impact of “Good Girl” Conditioning at Work
Michelle previews her upcoming book, examining why high-achieving girls often struggle when they enter the workforce.
24:22 – Women Supporting Women
The conversation shifts to the transformative power of community, as they emphasise the importance of women lifting each other up.
27:31 – Writing Your Own Story
Nicola encourages aspiring authors to embrace their unique perspectives, even in a world saturated with similar stories.
30:36 – Valuing Your Own Experiences
They discuss how personal stories bring writing to life, helping readers connect with deeper truths.
33:22 – Listener Challenge: Embrace your “too muchness”
Follow Nicola on social media:
Website - https://nicolahumber.com/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nicolaahumber/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nicolahumber
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
36 min - 10 - What Would Donna and Cheryl Do? with Dr Donna Elliot & Cheryl Reid
Episode 10 - What Would Donna and Cheryl Do? with Dr Donna Elliot & Cheryl Reid
Dr. Donna Elliott and Cheryl Reid are the Co-Founders of Now Is Your Time, creators of the Mind Coding® framework, and authors of the #1 bestseller Become The Real You. As TEDx Women speakers and former senior leaders with over 20 years of experience in corporate leadership, they bring a wealth of expertise in empowering women to break free from limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, and fear. Their mission is to help women harness their inner power to live radically authentic lives.
Drawing on 40 years of combined experience in building high-performing teams, alongside their own transformative personal journeys, Donna and Cheryl deliver life-changing coaching programmes. They have worked with global organisations such as the BBC, Adobe, Sage, and American Express as Mindset and Imposter Syndrome Experts. Their insights have been featured in leading publications including Health & Wellbeing and Glamour.
In their interactive masterclasses, they share proven mindset techniques and practical strategies designed to dismantle imposter syndrome and foster unstoppable self-belief. Discover more about their work, book, and TEDx talk at www.nowisyourtimeto.com.
What we talk about:
2:11 - Good Girl Conditioning Discussion - Donna and Cheryl share personal stories about overcoming societal expectations, people-pleasing, and imposter syndrome.
10:00 - Breaking Out of Corporate Conditioning - The duo discusses their shift from corporate life to entrepreneurship and their journey toward finding authentic work styles.
18:01 - Personal Growth & Manifestation - Donna and Cheryl explore how personal growth and mindset shifts, especially during the pandemic, helped them redefine success.
28:01 - Community and Future Plans - They share plans for their coaching programs, aimed at empowering others to embrace transformation and authenticity.
31:49 - Key Takeaways & Reflections - Donna and Cheryl challenge listeners to reflect on living authentically and pursuing what they truly want.
Follow Donna and Cheryl on social media:
Website - https://www.nowisyourtimeto.com/
Linkedin - https://www.instagram.com/iamdonnaelliott/ and https://www.linkedin.com/in/cheryl-reid-now-is-your-time-to-com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nowisyourtimeto/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/donna.elliott.NIYT
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
40 min - 9 - Breaking Chains and Building Power with Amy Pons
Episode 9 - Breaking Chains and Building Power with Amy Pons
In this episode of Good Girl Deprogramming, Michelle Minnikin is joined by Amy, an advocate for workplace psychological safety and national team member of the End Workplace Abuse Movement. Together, they delve into the deep-seated systems of power—patriarchy, capitalism, colonialism—that perpetuate psychological abuse, especially towards women in the workplace. They share lived experiences, discuss the nuances of gaslighting, and highlight the importance of awareness and legislation for psychological safety. Listeners will also be introduced to the empowering concept of personal magic, the importance of curiosity, and embracing one’s unique brilliance beyond societal conditioning.
Amy’s a warrior and a healer who — through empathetic coaching, passion, spiritual guidance, a little bit of magic, and a dash/hint of spice — leads women back to who they are at the soul level, so they can step into their power and live as their favorite selves.
What we talk about:
2:08 – Amy’s work and perspectives on the workplace’s patriarchal and colonial roots
5:03 – The true meaning of gaslighting and how it differs from simple “bad behaviour”
9:00 – Real-time learning moments: Dealing with resistance online and reflections on men’s reactions
14:20 – Discussion on the Workplace Psychological Safety Act and state-level legislative progress
17:27 – Strategies for addressing workplace abuse and future plans for national initiatives
21:43 – Michelle and Amy share personal stories of confronting psychological safety and advocacy
24:33 – Dual feelings in activism: Supporting women who perpetuate the system
29:02 – Introducing the concept of ‘magic’ and living authentically
31:06 – Reflective question to the audience: “How’s your heart today?”
32:48 – Future aspirations: Manifesting a women’s gathering in French Polynesia
Follow Amy on social media:
Website - www.unlockthemagic.org
Women Making Moves Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/women_making_moves_?igshid=MjEwN2IyYWYwYw%3D%3D
Unlock the Magic Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/unlockthemagic_?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA%3D%3D
Etsy - https://www.etsy.com/shop/UnlocktheMagicLLC
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
36 min - 8. Understanding Coercive Control with Michelle Minnikin
Episode 8: Understanding Coercive Control
Episode Summary:In this solo episode, Michelle Minnikin delves into one of the foundational topics of her work - coercive control. She explains how coercive control, often seen in abusive relationships and high-control environments, plays a critical role in how society conditions women to behave. Drawing from sociologist Albert Biderman’s Chart of Coercion, Michelle highlights the psychological manipulation tactics used to control women’s identities, behaviour, and self-worth through isolation, guilt, shame, and fear.Key Themes:- Recap of Past Episodes: Michelle revisits previous episodes where she spoke to various guests about topics like gender roles, the impacts of misogyny, ADHD, healthy masculinity, and good girl conditioning.
- What is Coercive Control?
Michelle defines coercive control as a form of manipulation that subtly but powerfully shapes a person’s behaviour. She connects the tactics of coercive control, typically seen in abusive contexts, to the societal pressures and expectations imposed on women.- Albert Biderman’s Chart of Coercion:
Michelle introduces Biderman’s framework, explaining its origins in breaking down prisoners of war and how similar strategies are applied to control women in everyday life.- The Hidden Tactics of Control:
Michelle covers the following methods of coercion:- Isolation – Women are often socially isolated through competition or exclusion.
- Exhaustion – Unrealistic expectations in professional and personal spheres lead to burnout, weakening resistance.
- Threats – Fear of social exclusion or professional consequences keeps women compliant.
Reflection Exercises:
Michelle invites listeners to reflect on their experiences of isolation and manipulation in their lives and to notice when they self-censor or silence themselves.Practical Tips:Michelle shares actionable steps to begin dismantling coercive control:1. Identify the Patterns – Pay attention to moments when you feel controlled or silenced.2. Challenge Your Inner Critic – Reframe self-critical thoughts with compassion.3. Set Boundaries – Learn to recognise feelings of resentment as a sign that your boundaries are being crossed.Resources Mentioned:- Biderman's Adapted Chart of Coercion -
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tms-sNY_7rPY1m19TCtiCWiuVwnZicyqYF8VVzMaM2k/edit?usp=sharing- Good Girl Deprogramming Book – A deep dive into coercive control tactics, with exercises to help break free.
- Good Girl Quiz – Available on Michelle’s website, the quiz helps identify areas where good girl conditioning may be affecting you.
- Upcoming Episodes – Future solo episodes will explore each chapter of Michelle’s book, starting with “Establishing Trust” in the next episode.
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
22 min - 7. The Power of Being You with Vicky Campbell
Episode 7 - Vicky Campbell - The Power of Being You
In this episode of the Good Girl Deprogramming Podcast, Michelle is joined by Vicky Campbell, a coach and HR expert, to discuss the complexities of being a “good girl” at work and the toll it takes on our authentic selves. They dive deep into the emotional exhaustion that comes from masking, people-pleasing, and constantly trying to fit into rigid workplace expectations.
A passionate, driven and honest Change Maker. Having worked across most HR Specialisms in the fast go, go, go Financial Services industry for 20 years I know a thing or two about Change!
I love people; I specifically love developing people. Listening to their needs and being creative in transforming their career journey. A pink haired free spirit, with a desire to break down barriers.
What we talk about:
1:16 - Vicky Campbell Introduction
Michelle introduces Vicky and dives straight into discussing the pressures of being a good girl at work.
1:30 - The Good Girl Mask
Vicky shares her experience of being a “good girl” at work, how it serves as a form of self-preservation, but drains energy and leads to emotional burnout.
3:57 - Authenticity in the Workplace
Michelle and Vicky discuss how showing up as your true self at work can be empowering, but often comes with the pushback of being asked to “tone it down” and fit into the mould.
4:19 - Anger in the Workplace
Michelle points out that anger is often the one emotion women are discouraged from expressing at work, even though it’s a natural and important emotion.
8:25 - Neurodiversity and Masking
Vicky talks about her ADHD diagnosis and the emotional journey of realising that her good girl mask was hiding her neurodivergence. She shares how this awareness has transformed her personal and professional life.
10:56 - People-Pleasing and the Cost of Compliance
Vicky reflects on how her people-pleasing tendencies kept her apologising for herself and accommodating others’ opinions at the expense of her own needs.
17:08 - Restoring Energy through Authenticity
The conversation shifts to ways to restore energy, like stepping into your authentic self and doing activities that bring you joy (such as Vicky’s love of singing).
18:21 - The Importance of Replenishment
Michelle and Vicky talk about the need for replenishment, whether through nature, dancing, or even allowing space for yourself to just be. They emphasise the importance of self-care and not wasting energy on masking.
22:01 - Advice to Younger Self
Vicky shares what she would tell her 19-year-old self starting out in the corporate world—trust your instincts and don’t stay in spaces that don’t serve you.
23:48 - Why Women Blame Themselves
Michelle highlights her upcoming book exploring why young women blame themselves when they feel out of place in the workplace, leading to further discussions on societal conditioning.
28:50 - Embracing the Journey of Authenticity
Vicky reflects on how, as she steps into her authentic self, her relationships and career have transformed for the better.
29:31 - Final Question for Listeners
Vicky challenges the audience to reflect on what’s holding them back from being their true, authentic selves. What would life look like if they allowed themselves to fully embrace who they are?
32:17 - Closing Remarks
Michelle wraps up the episode, reflecting on the importance of stepping into authenticity and sharing how Vicky’s journey has resonated with her own experience of deprogramming good girl conditioning.
Follow Vicky on social media:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/advancepopulus/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/vickycampbell123/
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
34 min - 6. Embracing Your Authentic Self with Dayna Byfield
Episode 6 - Embracing Your Authentic Self with Dayna Byfield
Leadership Coach, Relationship Curator, Speaker, Polymath & Founder.
Dayna's dynamic approach to empowering Leaders and teams comes from a unique deep blend of human; biology, behaviour & beliefs, intuition, dyslexic thinking and lived experience.
With her warm and infectious personality and playful communication style. As a luminary. Dayna is dedicated to uncovering the intricacies of the internal human world to strengthen our relationships with ourselves, each other and gain a greater sense of fulfilment and success. Whilst also sharing these concepts with leaders.
Having overcome significant challenges in her early life Dayna is now committed to sharing the lessons she’s learned. Inspiring others to transcend their circumstances and perceived limitations.
Her work as a Leadership coach and speaker is complimented by her innovative partnerships in various fields such a education, wellbeing and lifestyle design.
Dayna’s global network exemplifies her skill as a relationship curator, sparking influential partnerships, and projects of great impact.
As an experienced Founder, Non-Executive Director and business leader. Dayna has emerged as an experienced organisational and team conflict strategist.
Her insights are sought after by media outlets, top business’ and brands for her perspectives on personal evolution, relationships, human wiring, team dynamics, leadership and lifestyle design.
Her message continues to resonate in the business, wellbeing, scientific and impact communities globally.
What we talk about:
2:08 - Dayna’s Background and Early Life
Dayna introduces herself and shares her tumultuous early years, which shaped her ability to connect with people.
6:54 - Current Endeavours and Education
Dayna talks about her life in London after spending three years in St. Vincent and discusses pursuing a double award master’s degree in interdisciplinary studies.
7:49 - Significant Relationships
They discuss the importance of three key relationships: self, work, and spouse, and emphasise that aligning these relationships is crucial for a balanced life.
11:03 - Understanding and Valuing Yourself
Dayna highlights the importance of self-awareness and understanding how societal and familial influences shape one’s identity.
14:42 - The Role of Green Energy in Leadership
Dayna explains the concept of "green energy," which focuses on nurturing others and prioritising the collective over individual needs. Green energy individuals may struggle in societies that value individualism, and Dayna advocates for recognising and empowering these leaders to build strong relationships and communities.
29:34 - The Importance of Blue Energy in Systems and Processes
Dayna discusses "blue energy" individuals, who are logical, analytical, and focused on systems and processes, and explains how they ensure high quality and attention to detail.
34:42 - Connecting Early Years to Current Identity
Dayna encourages listeners to reflect on their first seven years to understand how those experiences shape who they are today. 36:49 - Final Thoughts and Future Conversations
Follow Dayna on social media:
Linkedin - http://linkedin.com/in/dayna-byfield
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/daynabyfield
The Colour of Personality Infographic - https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kLrmET3bznbvUXNAzFv-y9zvissqGLox/view?usp=sharing
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
40 min - 5. Confronting Misogyny with Felice Ayling
Episode 5 - Felice Ayling - Confronting Misogyny
Meet Felice Ayling, the dynamic force behind Loud Women, where she empowers female founders to not just make a mark but to make a meteor-sized impact. With a flair for shaking things up, her mission is to help bold, driven women like you unleash the full potential of your business with confidence and style.
What we talk about:
1:38 September’s Traumatic Events
Michelle and Felice discuss the heavy month of September, reflecting on recent traumatic events and disasters. They decide to keep the conversation light by using dark humour as a coping mechanism while acknowledging the emotional toll these events have had.
3:39 Taylor Swift and Social Media Backlash
Michelle and Felice talk about Taylor Swift’s experiences with criticism and misogyny. They discuss the backlash she received, her response through her album Lover, and Elon Musk’s inappropriate comments. The conversation highlights how men often try to silence women through threats and control.
6:21 Misandry and Female Rage
The discussion moves to their personal experiences with misandry as a reaction to extreme misogyny. Michelle and Felice share how female rage is often misunderstood and the difficulties of engaging with men who don’t actively support gender equality.
10:23 The Silent Majority and Gender Pay Gap
Michelle and Felice talk about the "silent majority" of men who stay indifferent to gender issues and discuss the gender pay gap. They emphasise the importance of educating men and the need for women to support each other without wasting energy on those unwilling to listen or change.
14:46 The Role of Pornography and Social Media
Michelle and Felice delve into how pornography perpetuates harmful attitudes towards women, citing a report that found 90% of adult content contains elements of violence or degradation. They express frustration over the lack of legal protections against such harmful content and its easy access through social media.
21:54 The Impact of Generational Conditioning
Michelle and Felice discuss how generational conditioning has shaped today’s gender inequality. They highlight the historical lack of rights for women and stress the importance of understanding these roots to address current issues.
22:10 The Fragility of Women’s Rights
The conversation shifts to the fragility of women’s rights globally and the regression seen in some regions, like the US. Michelle and Felice emphasise the need for collective action to protect these rights and support each other in the ongoing struggle.
46:10 The Role of Technology and AI
Michelle and Felice explore how technology, especially AI, is being misused to harm women through the creation and distribution of AI-generated nude images. They highlight the lack of legal protection and the urgent need for better regulation and enforcement.
46:31 The Importance of Empathy and Compassion
Michelle and Felice stress the need for empathy and compassion in addressing gender issues. They discuss how some men only empathise with gender inequality when it affects women in their immediate circle and call for holding men to higher standards of empathy and responsibility.
Follow Felice on social media:
Website - https://loudwomen.club/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/feliceayling/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thegobbyfeminist
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops (and Amazon - https://amzn.to/3AQHuFf)
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
48 min - 4. Unpacking Gender Conditioning with Don Ryan
Episode 4 - Unpacking Gender Conditioning with Don Ryan (Trigger Warning - Suicide)
Don has working in the social work for more than 30 years, both doing clinical work as a therapist with children who have experienced trauma and in welfare systems work working to reduce violence towards children, in domestic violence, and with people experiencing homelessness.
In his personal life, Don lost three family members to suicide beginning with his father while a college senior in 1989, his cousin Vinny in 2013, and his youngest brother Brendan in 2022. After a year of examining these three deaths and how they impacted his life and the lives of his other family members, Don wrote The Secret Struggle: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One, to support others who felt alone in their feelings of guilt and grief in the aftermath of that suicide.
After addressing the behavioral and psychological effects of suicide on a loved one, Don focuses on the societal stigma of mental health and suicide, especially as those stigmas pertain to men - a demographic that comprises 80 percent of all completed suicides. His premise is that men are raised to be strong, to not cry, and not show weakness and that these child rearing techniques are reinforced in adulthood that men need to be stoic and problem solvers. Don gives presentations on the need for social change to lessen this stigma.
Ryan has earned two Masters degrees including a Masters in Social Work from the University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, and currently lives in Minnesota in the United States.
What we talk about:
0:05 Meeting and Introduction
Michelle welcomes Don, who shares his background and their connection through improving speaking and presenting skills.
3:45 Don's Book and Personal Experience
Don introduces his book, “The Secret Struggle Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One,” blending professional expertise with personal experiences of losing three family members to suicide. He discusses the emotional impact and societal pressures on men to suppress emotions, contributing to higher male suicide rates.
6:09 Challenges and Societal Expectations
Michelle and Don explore how societal conditioning of boys and men to suppress emotions affects mental health and relationships. Don’s work in violence prevention and victim services highlights the need for men to be involved in addressing these issues.
11:58 Gender Roles and Social Expectations
They delve into how traditional gender roles perpetuate toxic masculinity, impacting everyone. They stress the importance of breaking the cycle of harmful conditioning and creating a better future.
13:53 Impact of Social Media and Historical Conditioning
The discussion shifts to using social media to spread messages of change and the need for collective efforts. Don praises Michelle’s book for its inclusive approach and discusses suicide prevention, especially in the military.
23:09 Political and Social Implications
They discuss the influence of political figures like Donald Trump on societal attitudes and stress the importance of empathy and understanding for creating positive change.
28:05 Call to Action and Final Thoughts
Don encourages listeners to consider the future they want for their children and take proactive steps to create a better world.
Nike Advert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWfX5jeF6k4
Follow Don on social media:
Website - https://www.thesecretstruggle.com/
The Secret Struggle - https://amzn.to/4eI67mh
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/don-ryan-853a8447/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/don.ryan_the.secret.struggle/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@the.secret.struggle
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
33 min - 3. Breaking Free from Good Girl Conditioning with Michelle Minnikin
Episode 3: Breaking Free from Good Girl Conditioning
Welcome to Episode 3! Today, we’re diving into the core of Good Girl Conditioning, unpacking the sneaky societal norms that have held us back and how we can start breaking free. Michelle goes solo to guide us through Chapter One of her book, Good Girl Deprogramming, exploring how these rules have shaped our behaviour and, more importantly, how we can reclaim our true selves.
Follow Michelle on social media:
Website - https://www.michelleminnikin.com/
Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/mminnikin/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/goodgirldeprogramming
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@michelleminnikin
Buy Good Girl Deprogramming
Ebook and Paperback available at all good bookshops
Audible - https://www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0D9MKBDBW/?source_code=AUKFrDlWS02231890H6-BK-ACX0-406719&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_406719_rh_uk
Take the Good Girl Quiz
Find out if you’re a Good Girl at https://goodgirlquiz.co.uk/
If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends!
18 min
About Good Girl Deprogramming
From the publisher's feed
Join author, coach, and organisational psychologist Michelle Minnikin as she unpacks and challenges the 'Good Girl' narrative that limits women in their personal and professional lives. In each…
episode, explore the stories, strategies, and psychology behind breaking free from social conditioning, reclaiming authenticity, and thriving on your own terms. Subscribe now for empowering conversations and insights.