Good Girls Gotta Heal

Good Girls Gotta Heal

By Megan WalshSociety & CultureHealth & FitnessMental HealthEducationSelf-ImprovementRelationships
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Good Girls Gotta Heal episodes

  • When "Having It All Together" Hurts: High-Functioning Anxiety, CPTSD, and the Power of "Good Enough" with Debbie Missud

    If you are the girl who constantly looks like she has it completely together on the outside, but inside you feel like you are running on empty, this episode is for you.

     

    This week, I am so, so excited to be joined by the wonderful Debbie Missud. Debbie is a licensed psychotherapist, founder of the Manhattan Psychotherapy Collective in New York City, and the brilliant mind behind the social media space @therapydebbie. She is also the author of the incredible, newly published book, Self-Directed Complex PTSD Exercises for Women.

     

    In this conversation, Debbie and I dive into the heavy but healing reality of what it means to live with high-functioning anxiety and complex trauma. We unpack how our childhood family systems often condition us to tie our self-worth directly to our external achievements - and why learning to lower the dial doesn't mean you're going to fail. In fact, it's the exact place where your healing begins.

     

    Inside the Episode, We Chat About:

     

    • The High-Functioning Anxiety Cycle: Why being the "good girl" who exceeds expectations gets rewarded by society, even when it’s driving us toward total burnout.

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      • Our Sneaky Defense Mechanisms: A breakdown of intellectualizing our feelings, over-indexing on external control, and the survival function of idealizing people or family dynamics that actually harmed us.

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        • What is Complex PTSD (CPTSD)? How chronic, repetitive emotional misattunement shapes our adult worldview, and how it differs from standard PTSD.

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          • The Scaffolding of Trauma Work: Why true healing must start with regulation and grounding before we ever open up the boxes on our psychological shelves. Debbie shares tangible tools from her book, including how to build a physical "grounding toolkit" and how to utilize pendulation to safely navigate physical discomfort.

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            • Real-Life Exposure Therapy: Debbie gets vulnerable about navigating her own recovering perfectionism while simultaneously launching a book, moving, and planning her upcoming wedding (talk about a wild season!).

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              • A Message for Brides: Why your wedding doesn't make your marriage, and how to stop viewing external wedding details as a reflection of your worth.

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                A gentle reminder to sit with from this episode: Your anxiety and your negative beliefs about yourself are learned patterns - and anything that was learned can be unlearned. Turning down the pressure does not mean everything will drop. You are still safe.

                 

                Connect with Debbie:

                 

                • Instagram & TikTok:   
                • Therapy Practice (NY Residents) 
                • Grab Her Book: (Also available at Barnes & Noble, Target, and Walmart!) 

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                  Connect with Megan:

                   

                  • Follow Megan on IG 
                  • Learn more about how to work with Megan here!
                  • Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"
                    • 42 min
                  • "Am I Crazy?" Decoding Narcissistic Abuse vs. Cultural Expectations with Agatha Peters

                    Hey everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Good Girls Gotta Heal.

                     

                    Have you ever sat in a therapy session - or just lied awake at night - wondering, Is my parent actually a narcissist, or am I just overreacting? If your ears perk up at that phrase, you are so not alone. In fact, it is one of the biggest things my clients bring to the table. But what happens when that toxic dynamic is wrapped up in deep cultural traditions, collectivist values, and an intense pressure for family loyalty?

                     

                    Today, I am so thrilled to be joined by the incredible Agatha Peters. Agatha is a Nigerian-American psychotherapist, the founder of Beautiful Sunshine Therapy, and the author of the powerful new book, Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Parents and Cultural Expectations.

                     

                    In this episode, Agatha shares her own powerful story as an immigrant navigating a system where trauma was just viewed as "day-to-day life." Together, we peel back the layers on what narcissistic parenting actually looks like - from constant manipulation and severe body shaming to the intense jealousy that prevents a parent from ever celebrating your wins.

                     

                    We dive deep into:

                    • The Difference Between Immaturity and Narcissism: How to spot the total lack of emotional attunement and the zero capacity for a real, reflective apology.

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                      • The Western Blindspot of "Cutting Off": Why the typical Western advice to just "go no-contact" doesn't work for multi-generational, collectivist households - and how to protect your peace without walking away from your entire community.

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                        • Putting on Your Armor: Practical, somatic boundaries you can use today to handle the physiological anxiety of being around a narcissistic parent.

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                          • Grieving the Living: How to stop trying to change them, and instead bring that deep grief into a safe space so you can finally heal.

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                            If you have spent your entire life trying to be the perfect "good girl," turning your focus outward to regulate everyone else at the expense of your own nervous system, please hear this: You are not alone, and you are not crazy.

                             

                            Grab a cozy drink, take a deep breath, and let’s dive into this beautiful, validating conversation.

                             
                            Connect with Agatha: 

                             

                            • Read the Book: Trapped in Their Script: Reclaim Your Life from Narcissistic Parents and Cultural Expectations (Available anywhere books are sold online!)
                            • Instagram
                            • Website

                              • Connect with Megan:

                               

                              • Follow Megan on IG 
                              • Learn more about how to work with Megan here!
                              • Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"
                                • 27 min
                              • Why Typos Are Chic & Your Anger is a Tool for Growth with Annabelle Reynolds

                                Hi there, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Good Girls Gotta Heal!

                                 

                                In today’s episode, Megan is catching up with a very special guest, her high school friend turned viral TikTok and Instagram creator, Annabelle Reynolds. From coordinating prom dresses back in 2008 to navigating the profound shifts of their mid-30s, Megan and Annabelle dive deep into what it truly means to live out loud, embrace your rawest emotions, and stop running from generational patterns.

                                 

                                Annabelle opens up about her non-traditional grief journey after losing her dad in just 89 days, and the unexpected emotion that fueled her healing: pure, unfiltered rage.

                                 

                                But the healing didn't stop there. Megan and Annabelle get into the fascinating psychology of how unhealed childhood trauma impacts how we view success, why some people carry an intense need for hierarchy, and the beautiful concept of "indirect happiness" (and yes, it involves a Chicago sports analogy you won't want to miss). They also break down what it actually looks like when you hit a breaking point, how to unapologetically claim a child-free life in your 30s, and why life is simply too short to carry other people's shame.

                                 

                                If you’ve ever felt like your anger wasn't "allowed," or if you're trying to figure out how to navigate adulthood on your own terms without needing anyone else's approval, this conversation is the permission slip you didn't know you needed.

                                 

                                In this episode, we talk about:
                                • The "P.S. I Love You" Story: How a flip of a coin by an Irish mother-in-law decided the fate of Annabelle’s 16-year love story (and the hilarious viral TikTok video that almost moved her back to Ireland).

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                                  • Sibling Dynamics in Deep Grief: How Annabelle and her sisters made a conscious choice to heal together instead of letting traumatic loss pull them apart.

                                    •  

                                    • The Power of "Wall Work": The visual, analog therapeutic tool Annabelle used to map out her life, spot her triggers, and realize what wasn't her fault.

                                      •  

                                      • Childhood Trauma & The Status Trap: How unhealed wounds cause people to constantly seek approval from the "higher ups" while dismissing everyone else.

                                        •  

                                        • Direct vs. Dotted-Line Happiness: Why you don't actually have to love sports (or any hobby!) to feel immense joy watching the people you love celebrate a win.

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                                          • Normalizing the Mid-30s Pivot: Stepping outside the standard templates of New York CEOs or aesthetic homestead moms to embrace buying slime, ordering DoorDash, and keeping your maiden name.

                                            •  

                                            • Re-evaluating Our Lineage: How to simultaneously acknowledge that what happened to us wasn't okay, while still holding grace for the limited tools our parents had in the '60s and '70s.

                                              •  

                                              Plus, Megan and Annabelle discuss why typos are officially chic, the absolute misery of tailgating, and a powerful final reminder that life is simply too short to live in shame.

                                               
                                              Connect with Annabelle: 

                                               

                                              Follow her journey, viral content, and mid-30s realness on TikTok @annabelle_agnes and Instagram @annabelle_reynolds. (And if you're nervous about stepping into your own authenticity, DM her for some tips!)


                                              Connect with Megan:

                                               

                                              Follow Megan on IG 

                                              Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                              Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                              44 min
                                            • Screw the Timeline: Childhood Trauma, Healing, and Living Child-Free on Your Own Terms with Kelsey Wood, LMFT

                                              In this episode, I'm bringing back my very first podcast guest ever, the brilliant Kelsey Wood, and honestly? This conversation felt like therapy, wine with your best friend, and a permission slip all rolled into one.

                                               

                                              Kelsey is a licensed therapist who works with women navigating the ripple effects of childhood trauma, and she is not here to give you the soft, sanitized version of healing. We got into the real stuff — starting with her viral "Lioness vs. Golden Retriever" therapy approach and then diving headfirst into what it actually feels like to live child-free in a world that keeps asking when you're going to change your mind.

                                               

                                              Whether you chose this path, love someone on this path, or life chose it for you, we're talking about all of it — the freedom, the grief, the friendships that start to feel awkward once everyone has a stroller, and the quiet confidence that comes from building a life that's genuinely yours.

                                               

                                              We also got into the forgiveness myth — because if you've ever felt pressured to forgive someone just to "move on," Kelsey has something really important to say about that.

                                               

                                              This one's for every woman who's tired of defending her worth, her choices, and her version of a full, meaningful life. You're going to feel so seen.

                                               

                                               

                                               CONNECT WITH KELSEY


                                              Th viral Instagram post
                                              See her offerings on the Website

                                               

                                               

                                              CONNECT WITH MEGAN

                                               

                                              Follow Megan on IG 

                                              Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                              Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                              41 min
                                            • Healing the Mother Wound: Grief, Boundaries, and Coming Back to Yourself with Yelna Alrahman

                                              For many of us, being a "good girl" wasn't just a personality trait—it was a survival strategy. But what happens when the relationship that is supposed to be our safest foundation becomes a source of enmeshment, codependency, and lost identity?

                                               

                                              In this deeply moving episode, we sit down with Yelna Alrahman, a former "good girl" turned unapologetic woman, certified psychotherapist, and coach. Yna shares her powerful journey of growing up in a multicultural household where questioning parents was taboo, and how she became her mother’s primary emotional caregiver and "soulmate" by the age of ten.

                                               

                                              We dive deep into the Mother Wound—the developmental rupture that occurs when a mother cannot provide the emotional attunement a child needs. Whether your mother is still in your life or has passed away, the effects of this wound follow us into adulthood, showing up in our careers, our body image, and the partners we choose.

                                               
                                              In this episode, we explore:
                                              • The Enmeshment Trap: Understanding the difference between a "deep friendship" and unhealthy codependency with a parent.
                                              • Complex Grief: Navigating the confusing mix of devastation and relief when a toxic or heavy relationship ends.
                                              • The "Good Girl" Identity: How attuning to your mother’s nervous system as a child leads to a lack of self-confidence and chronic indecision as an adult.
                                              • Internal Family Systems (IFS): Why your "inner critic" is actually trying to protect your "inner child"—and how to get them to stop fighting.
                                              • Professional Blocks: The surprising way the mother wound manifests as a fear of being seen or judged in your career and business.

                                                •  

                                                Healing isn't about blaming; it's about reparenting. It’s about learning to sit with your own sadness without needing to "clean the house" or "fix a project" to escape it. Tune in to learn how to stop abandoning yourself and finally start belonging to you.

                                                 
                                                Connect with Yelna

                                                 

                                                Follow her on Instagram 

                                                Work with Yelna: Join the Self-Love Mastery group container  

                                                Grab Yelna’s My Dear Self journal to begin your own inner child visualization journey. 

                                                 

                                                Connect with Megan

                                                 

                                                Follow Megan on IG 

                                                Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                34 min
                                              • Soothe, Transcend, Move: A New Approach to Burnout with Dr. Kerry Makin-Byrd

                                                Feeling like you're running on empty? You're not alone—and you're definitely not broken.

                                                 

                                                In this heartfelt conversation, host Megan sits down with Dr. Kerry Makin-Byrd, a clinical psychologist and burnout expert, to talk about something so many of us are experiencing but rarely name: burnout. Dr. Byrd's new book, Start Here, offers a lifeline for anyone who's ever felt like they're giving everything and getting nowhere.

                                                 

                                                This isn't your typical "just do more self-care" conversation. Dr. Byrd gets real about what burnout actually looks like (spoiler: it's not just being tired), why our support systems matter more than we think, and how self-compassion—not self-criticism—is the secret ingredient to healing.

                                                 

                                                Whether you're in healthcare, parenting, teaching, or just trying to keep it together in today's world, this episode will meet you exactly where you are.

                                                 

                                                What You'll Learn:

                                                • The early warning signs of burnout (and why catching them matters)
                                                • Dr. Byrd's three-step approach: soothe, transcend, and move—practical tools you can use today
                                                • Why self-compassion isn't selfish and how to actually practice it (hint: try writing yourself a letter)
                                                • The role of support systems in preventing and recovering from burnout
                                                • How to check in with colleagues (and yourself) in ways that actually help
                                                • Why fear is normal when you're trying to change and what to do about it
                                                • The truth about systemic change vs. individual action and why we need both
                                                  •  
                                                   
                                                  Connect with Kerry

                                                   

                                                  Check out her website

                                                  Follow her on Instagram

                                                  Get on her newsletter list

                                                   
                                                  Connect with Megan

                                                   

                                                  Follow Megan on IG 

                                                  Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                  Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                  37 min
                                                • The Good Girl's Guide to Unbecoming with Monica Rodgers

                                                  "I was building an empire on quicksand."

                                                  When burnout brought Monica Rogers to her knees, it became the wake-up call that changed everything. In this raw and beautiful conversation, she shares how breaking free from "good girl" programming led her back to herself, and why sometimes falling apart is exactly what we need.

                                                   

                                                  If you've ever exhausted yourself trying to be perfect, swallowed your desires to keep the peace, or wondered who you'd be without all the rules you've been following, this one's for you.

                                                   

                                                  Monica and Megan explore what happens when you stop chasing the outward quest and start the inward one instead. They talk about reclaiming your creativity, learning to trust your intuition again, and why approving of yourself might be the most radical thing you do today. You'll walk away with permission to say no, tools for silencing your inner critic, and a reminder that letting go of who you thought you had to be is how you find who you really are.

                                                   

                                                  Pour yourself some tea and settle in. This conversation feels like coming home.

                                                   

                                                   

                                                  Connect with Monica

                                                   

                                                  Follow her on Instagram

                                                  Get access to create your own Bill of Rights

                                                   

                                                   

                                                  Connect with Megan

                                                   

                                                  Follow Megan on IG 

                                                  Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                  Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                  43 min
                                                • Life Lately: Loss, Boundaries, Book Deals, and Letting Go of Control

                                                  This week, you’re hearing straight from Megan as she gives some real-life updates. Megan talks about her own very human journey through loss and recovery, including the part where even trauma therapists have control issues and “actually not fine, thanks” moments. She also dives into a big professional update… spoiler: she’s writing a book! Megan answers your questions, shares what’s been on her heart lately, and yes, talks about that Oprah episode on family estrangement. 

                                                   

                                                  Key Takeaways

                                                  • Living the Work: Megan opens up about the gap between teaching healing and actually doing it in real time.

                                                  • Life After Loss: She shares what her ectopic pregnancy taught her about grief, control, and choosing self-compassion over “fixing.”

                                                  • Big News: Megan announces her upcoming book and gives a glimpse into the healing framework behind it.

                                                  • Control Stuff: She talks about how hard it is to release responsibility for everyone else’s emotions and why the work always starts with her.

                                                  • Estrangement Real Talk: Megan breaks down why stepping back from family can be a boundary, not a failure.

                                                  • Speak the Fear: She explains why naming your fears early matters before they turn into walls, distance, or resentment.
                                                    •  

                                                     

                                                    Connect with Megan

                                                     

                                                    Follow Megan on IG 

                                                    Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                    Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                    19 min
                                                  • When Childhood Trauma Shows Up In Your Friendships (and Why We Don't Talk About It Enough) with Stephanie Bagato

                                                    This conversation explores the very overlooked link between childhood trauma and how we show up in our friendships. We talk about the moments when old wounds get activated, the ways we over-function or under-function with the people we love, and why so many “good girls” feel ashamed of needing support in friendships at all.

                                                     


                                                    We dig into self-attunement as the foundation for healthy relationships—because if you didn’t grow up with parents who attuned to you, it can feel foreign (or selfish) to turn toward yourself now. We break down why friendship feels so tender, why we often look for our friends to be the emotional parents we never had, and why internal self-care is the starting point for deeper, safer connection.

                                                     


                                                    We also name the cultural silence around this topic: childhood trauma isn’t just about your family. It follows you into your adult relationships, especially your friendships. And healing requires both personal responsibility and the courage to let others show up for you.


                                                    EPISODE TAKEAWAYS

                                                    • When we’re not attuning to ourselves first, our friendships become the place where our unmet needs spill out.
                                                    • Taking care of your emotional world isn’t selfish—it’s what allows connection to deepen.
                                                    • Self-attunement creates the safety needed for honest, nourishing conversations.
                                                    • Validation from friends is beautiful—but it can’t replace inner emotional care.
                                                    • Healthy friendships are built on a balance of self-responsibility and mutual support.
                                                    • Emotionally supporting yourself first prevents burnout, resentment, and over-functioning.
                                                    • The “dance” of friendship becomes easier when both people are attuned—to themselves and each other.
                                                    • Knowing your triggers and patterns enhances communication and reduces conflict.
                                                    • Personal growth directly expands the depth you can experience in friendships.
                                                    • Healing childhood trauma allows your adult friendships to feel more secure, reciprocal, and safe.

                                                      •  

                                                      Connect with Stephanie

                                                      Find her on Instagram
                                                      Visit her website

                                                       

                                                       

                                                      Connect with Megan

                                                      Follow Megan on IG 

                                                      Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                      Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                       

                                                      47 min
                                                    • Challenging Viral Mental Health Myths with Joe Nucci

                                                      In this important conversation, therapist and creator Joe Nucci — author of Psychobabble: Viral Mental Health Myths and Why They Keep Us Stuck — joins Megan to unpack some of the most misunderstood ideas in mental health.

                                                       

                                                      Together, they explore how the language of healing has evolved online, why “everything is trauma” thinking can oversimplify our humanity, and how self-awareness helps us distinguish between who we became to survive and who we truly are.

                                                       

                                                      This conversation is for anyone who’s ever wondered, “Is this my personality, or my trauma response?” — and who’s ready to move beyond the labels to a more compassionate, nuanced understanding of themselves.

                                                       
                                                      What You’ll Learn

                                                      • Why personality is often mistaken for a trauma response

                                                      • How to tell the difference between trauma adaptations and authentic traits

                                                      • The role of self-awareness in healing and growth

                                                      • Why oversimplifying psychology online can keep us stuck

                                                      • How to hold both nuance and compassion when exploring who you are

                                                         
                                                        Connect with Joe

                                                        Find Joe on Instagram

                                                        Order his new book, Psychobabble

                                                        Check out his website

                                                         

                                                         
                                                        Connect with Megan

                                                        Follow Megan on IG 

                                                        Learn more about how to work with Megan here!

                                                        Download Megan's FREE 8 episode private podcast "Healing Starts Here"

                                                         

                                                        37 min

                                                      About Good Girls Gotta Heal

                                                      From the publisher's feed

                                                      Are you tired of playing the "good" girl role? Are you ready to ditch people-pleasing and embrace your most authentic self?