Good Help

Evelyn and Aaron discuss some of the abuses that took place in their relationship and how hard it was for both to recognize it as abusive.  Aaron talks about how easy it was for him to play into beliefs that Evelyn already had and use it for his advantage. 

This is not a comprehensive or fully detailed account of what took place, but please listen at your discretion as some topics might be triggering for some individuals. 

*Trigger Warning* Please listen at your discretion.

Evelyn talks about the many abuses and behaviours that fall under the umbrella of sexual abuse, both direct and indirect. The many ways and messages used to teach obligation and duty that are manipulated to guilt, shame and coerce women into sex.

How porn consumption leads to objectification, dehumanization and abuse. Evelyn talks about stats and studies about the connection between porn consumption and attitudes of violence and aggression towards women.

Learn about direct and indirect physical abuse and why we often make excuses for our partners and their abuses. How emotional and psychological abuse often are intertwined with physical abuse and its lasting affects on its victims and children who witness it. And learn about gaslighting and reactive abuse. 

This is a hard one to hear, but when we call it like it is, we can see that a lot of the behaviours we have begun to see as "normal" are actually abuse. We are trained to blame ourselves, justify the behaviours, minimize them or believe it's not that bad because "he didn't hit me".

In this episode we cover how sexual compulsions and pornography addiction are abusive in nature and the basics of why this is abuse so that we can shift our beliefs and ask ourselves the tough questions in regards to how we are being treated and if its normal and acceptable. 

Using the analogy of "the boat" Evelyn digs into some of the steps and stages of betrayal recovery and reparations. Pointing out where people often get stuck or hung up and how we can change our focus so we can go further and find healing beyond just stopping the "bad behaviours". 

Should we quickly forgive and forget? Why is this idea so common and how should we face it when dealing with people struggling with sexually compulsive behaviours and addictions? How do we really forgive and apologize? 

Evelyn and Aaron discuss his experience with the label of addiction, their different views on labeling and how it can be weaponized, and ultimately what questions we need to be asking instead. 

This follow up to the previous episode goes a little deeper into our experince and feelings and how we came to question the quick labeling of "addiction."

Bible verses referenced:  James 1:14-15

Learn about the tools used to assess if its sexually compulsive behaviours or an addiction and whats the difference.  Lots of times in recovery the label of addiciton is freely or quickly given, but should it be? And what are the dangers or concerns with doing it this way? 

Read through the transcript of this episode here...

Evelyn and her husband, Aaron, discuss different types of triggers and their effects, along with their own personal experiences with triggers, and how to use triggers as tools. Betrayal Trauma often brings with it many triggers and trauma responses that can stay with us for a long time, but we can learn to use them to help us heal and grow. For the Trigger Tracker download head to www.heyevelynjames.ca/links