Good Help

Not everyone sees the negative side of pornography and many people have been told and believe the lies about the "benefits" of consuming pornography. Evelyn and Aaron discuss the big reasons we should be fighting pornography, not just for the individual, but for the spouse, family and our world.

Evelyn and Aaron discuss why checking boxes is not the answer for rebuilding trust and healthy relationship. Often checking boxes can lead to transactional relationships and bitterness from feeling like were not getting the results we want. 

We discuss 4 keys to rebuilding trust and a great tool for getting better results than checking boxes. 

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"I'm an addict, I'm always going to struggle." "I'm and addict, I'm going to relapse at some point."

Heard these words or something like them, in this episode Aaron and Evelyn address this common statement and its larger implications. Why it doesn't help recovery and why its a red flag that they might be stuck in a victim mentality.

Other points include, H.A.L.T.S., blame shifting, keeping the lid on and why we need to retrain our brain so we can truly heal and recover.

Mentioned in the episode is Jerry Bridges book I called "Acceptable Sins" its actually called "Sins we Accept", find it here.

Should we really be treating this issue as us vs his sin? Is recovery me vs you?

Aaron and Evelyn discuss the ins and outs of these ideas and how they can often be misrepresented and misunderstood in the recovery journey and healing with your spouse. This episode covers everything from transactional intimacy, trying to keep your spouse from their sin, control and codependency and so much more.

Melissa Ruff from the Live Free Wives Community joins us for part 2 of our interview. We discuss everything from EMDR to Boundaries and building trust. Do you know the difference between "I want to" or "Im going to try to" compared to true genuine commitments to change?

We also talk about when motivations matter and the first, second and third order of change. You won't want to miss this episode!

This special interview episode with Melissa Ruff touches on the Live Free Wives community and gives tips on joining recovery groups in general. 

We also disguss the way the brain copes with traumas and betrayals, memories without a timestamp, and learning to trust yourself again. 

In this episode Evelyn discusses the deep affects of pornographhy consumption on the self esteem and self worth of BOTH the consumer and their spouse (even if the spouse is unaware of the use).

We dig into how self worth is affected, the causes, factors that worsen the symptoms and a few steps to begin your journey out of low self worth and self esteem.

The final instalment of our conversations about abuse within our marriage. We continue to talk about fears, neglect, avoidance, manipulation and loosing hope.

The number one thing that we hear from people feeling neglected in their marriages is that they just feel like roommates. We explain how common it is to feel like roommates after having children and how selfishness and fear play into this.

Evelyn and Aaron continue their discussion about abuse and neglect in their relationship and how it has progressed through the years. This episode covers everything from motivations and fears, control and manipulation, neglect, sexualization and dehumanization.

We talk about the places people frequently get stuck while trying to grow and heal in these areas and how things progressed through these stages in our relationship.

Please listen at your own descretion as some conversation topics could be triggering for some listeners.

Evelyn discusses the harder to reognize but easy to normal abuses that can plague marraiges. These are often the abuses we put up with and accept or ignore, they're the ones that might feel off but we can't always pick out why that is.  Neglect is often the most ignored abuse that happens with sexually compulsive behaviours and addictions. Sometimes it gets labeled as intimacy annorexia or love addictions or the like, but it can also sneak under the radar of recovery and be left to do damage instead of learning how to grow in intimacy and love after recovery.