We were very mixed up about who the biddies were and who the twins were and also none of this should have ever happened. Happily, Hattie comes out on top, owning the manor house that she loved so much from a distance. And I guess that's what counts.

Wait, no, we were wrong - THIS is the show's worst episode ever. Another two-parter, this is the story of (we think? we're 45 minutes in and it's not really clear) a man who married a woman who disappeared right after the wedding. from a Reddit comment: Just watched Granada’s “The Eligible Bachelor” and am sitting here wondering what I just watched. It’s completely bonkers. Words fail us, and yet somehow we made an episode out of this first half.

It starts in flames. Turns out, those flames destroyed the set - and the manor house - entirely. This is Granada's attempt to put Holmes against a vampire - could have been great, turns out it was...well, a mess. We discuss. Part two of two.

It starts in flames. Turns out, those flames destroyed the set - and the manor house - entirely. This is Granada's attempt to put Holmes against a vampire - could have been great, turns out it was...well, a mess. We discuss. Part one of two.

The slimy, oleaginous Charles Augustus Milverton meets his well-deserved end. Second of two parts.

We're dividing this episode in two because it was a TV movie. A seminal encounter between Holmes and Charles Augustus Milverton - played to perfection by Robert Hardy. 

Monkey glands! A more-than-midlife crisis! And the horrors of animal trafficking, which still continues today. The greatest primate actor of all time (Peter Elliott), and the immortal words: "If inconvenient, come all the same." Holmes and Watson aim to rescue more than one young woman from the fragility of the male ego.

A wife-murder in the Alps - apparently, it's called uxoricide. No wonder it hasn't caught on. Followed by a porcelain collection, and a collection of...women.

Come for Sherlock Holmes, stay for Laura's encounter with Gene Simmons from KISS, who also has a collection of women.

Australians - and baby James Purefoy! We love this show because it introduces us to the nascence of our favorite actors.

A man is lying dead by a lakeside. A gamekeeper talks too much. Star-crossed would-be lovers - and a forgotten past. It's too good, too delightfully grotesque.

Another horse racing mystery! But there's a baby Jude Law, some beautiful egg cozies, and yes - a man taking advantage of his sister's fortune. And a disguise! It's Gothic mystery at its best here.