Happy Second Anniversary. We've made it through two years together, and here's an offer of a free CD of the five most downloaded "Good Night" podcasts...free. No strings attached. No promotional gimmicks. Just a "Happy Anniversary" gift from me to you.

Louie - Louie Generation Guys are the bedmates of choice for super models, movie stars and smart beautiful women of all kinds because of our charm, poise and grace...and because some of us have a little money. Here are 20 of Big Louie's tips that can make even young guys somewhat more acceptable to lovely ladies.

There are questions like Who is God...and even who are you ? I have no clue. I can't even figure out why the windshield wiper on the driver's side always wears out before the one on the other side. And how come some women raise one foot when they kiss? Even the connection between sticking your tongue out and concentrating escapes me. I've come to the conclusion that maybe some questions don't really need an answer...and some answers don't need questions.

Fantasy is the difference between a woman wearing underwear and a lady wearing lingerie. Fantasies are sexy. "Sister Mary Knuckle Buster" probably won't like this, but in this podcast...you will be exposed (as it were) to one of the innermost fantasies of this Brooklyn kid.

There's no time to waste in New York. That's why most of what New Yorkers have to say can be summed up with one finger. You'll learn to speak New York in this podcast. You'll learn about Brooklyn fertility rites. You'll learn about Wolfman Jack on WNBC and Cousin Brucie (Morrow) on WABC. Life in New York can be a dog eat dog experience. But listening to this podcast will help you avoid wearing hamburger shorts when you visit.

Crayons are an example of little things that mean a lot. They've been around since the 1930s. So you have to figure all of today's big shots must have played with them as kids. President Bush, the Pope, Mucktada whatever his name is...all of them. Can't you see them as little kids...scribbling like mad in their coloring books...then running over to their mommies to show the results ? This time, we take a look at other things that mean a lot...including the one little thing that means...more than anything else in the world.

This is about the day when my Lady Wonder Wench turned into my Baseball Babe. It has to do with being stubborn, her brother Bob, and the Star Spangled Banner. It's also about an encounter with a nun sliding into second base brandishing a rosary with a 20 pound crucifix on it...then feeling guilty...so she went back to first...and the reason why no women will ever play major league baseball. In shore...here's one to offend everybody.

My Lady Wonder Wench is trying to improve my table manners. Frustrating. She says I should be more communicative, but then she asks me a question when I have half a hamburger in my mouth, and she tells me I shouldn't talk with my mouth full. I like the words of Big Louie...his own bad self: "Tis better to burp and bear the shame, than not to burp and bear the pain." But it's when I pick my teeth that I get the ultimate sarcastic comment...the sarcasm equivalent of the raised center finger...one raised eyebrow...and silence. It's awful.

It's a big thing when a woman trusts a man to feel safe and comfortable enough to sleep with him. The sleeping part I mean. Trust is a big thing. I think homeless people must be terrified when they have to go to sleep alone on the street. It can be a nasty world out there. This is about watching my Lady Wonder Wench sleep... comfortably. And about chasing my alarm clock around the room and smashing it against the wall, while I'm snarling something like, "don't tell me what to do buddy" at it.

Wonder Wench has stood by me through all kids to tough stuff. But she turns on me when I'm driving. One or two wheels come up off the ground going around a corner, and she shrieks. Bump up on the sidewalk to avoid a red light, and she hollers, "Watch Out." Scares the hell out of a guy. Find out how my buddy Al handles this kind of situation with his wife, and check out the status of the Summer Stumper in this episode of "Good Night."