Good Night

"Their passions flared, and their worlds collided...." This is the story of a trip to the hardware store for a can of...DECK PAINT. I was determined to paint my back deck...in honor of my Lady Wonder Wench's blue eyes. "We don't PAINT decks, we STAIN them." the guy at the paint store said...with a voice full of di-stain. Oh Yeah ? It's my deck, and I'm PAINTING it.

Who Knows? Actually, Big Louie, His Own Bad Self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation has a pretty good way to look at what's headed straight at us. You'll find out what he has to say, plus the solution to the Airline crisis, and the story of a young woman who knows when she's had...just enough.

Big dreams make people beat their chests and holler "WE'RE NUMBER ONE ! WE'RE NUMBER ONE !!" Other dreams ...after a tough day... just put a small voice in the back of your head that says, "Ok, try it again tomorrow." All kinds of dreams are good. Even the scary ones. But this is the story of the very best kind of dream.

I'm genuinely trying to find a doctor, and maybe you can help. He's not one of those plastic surgeons who specialize in giving Louie-Louie Generation ladies faces that look like 3 d smiley faces. This guy is an emergency room doctor, and I really need to thank him.

Here's the latest on my Lady Wonder Wench, and her halo. Plus some memories I think you may enjoy.

"Ribbit, Ribbit" may be the greatest opening line ever. Once upon a time, a long time ago, a frog popped a fly breath mint into his mouth, hopped up on a pretty girl's lap, looked at her seductively and just said, "Ribbit, Ribbit"...and she gave him such a kiss...that he turned into a prince. Or at least that's what she told her mother the next morning when she found the guy in her bedroom. There are some other great opening lines this time, and a closer or two.

When Armstrong stepped onto the surface of the moon, he said, "That's one small step for a man, and one giant leap for mankind."

My Lady Wonder Wench took just one small step in the doorway this morning, and changed a big, dark, musty house into my home again.

"Batching it" sucks. But if you do it right, you can make do with only one fork and one cup. Tv dinners come with their own plastic throw away plate, and you can spread peanut butter and jelly with a fork. My Lady Wonder Wench will be in the hospital for a while. But the point is that she will be coming home eventually. Meantime, the words of Big Louie, his own bad self come to mind: " Things won't be the way you remember them again, although that's what you might hope. Things are just what they are for a while, so be careful you don't slip on the soap." But the silence here since she's gone is hard to take.

My Lady Wonder Wench was in a serious accident, and I was amazed at the e-mails, and cards, and flowers, and even three Teddy Bears that came in...from all over the world. Thank you. You get lots of time to think in a hospital. I was thinking about a vacation that I always meant to take with W. Wench. It should go something like this.

There are a couple of things I never told you about my Lady Wonder Wench. One thing is that her middle name is Annie...and I sometimes call her by her middle name. Another thing is that she was just in a serious accident. And...God's Phone Is Off The Hook.